---

 

Present Day, Week of Declan’s move to D.C.

Lila walked into the Veteran’s Online Resource Center in the Northwest section of Washington D.C. which had been her home base for three years. The job she’d come for—setting up and running the interactive website and phone counseling—allowed her the flexibility she needed to see her kids either here in D.C. or back in their hometown, since much of the work could be done remotely.

After greeting the receptionist in the small receiving area up front, she walked into the office proper. As she passed the command center, which housed the computer for the website and two hotline phones, she waved through the glass to one of her colleagues. The private meeting room to work one-on-one with veterans when they wanted in-person counseling was empty as was a larger space for support groups they ran, though at least half of those were online too. She smiled at the thought of one she’d held here: it consisted of only women, and after it ended, she continued to see four of them who became her friends. Down a hallway was Robert’s larger suite for him and three staff members. Basically, he ran the place, coordinated meetings, did budget and payroll and many other things.

Lila walked into her office. Small with only a desk and two chairs, the area was enough for her. Before she sat, she caught sight of the picture of her with Declan and the kids on the windowsill. She picked it up. They faced the camera in Disney World, all wearing Mickey and Minnie Mouse hats. A sudden sense of loss ambushed her so she set it down quickly. Taking in a deep breath, she sat in her chair, turned on the computer and called up a file. She’d need the information on the senior military officer candidate she’d meet with today, Todd Moretti, who preferred to talk face-to-face with someone. He’d come back wounded from Afghanistan and had recovered enough to go to work. She’d make sure he did. One of the reasons they’d wanted her for this job, other than her tech skills, was because she had a special talent for either finding placement for vets or training them in order to eventually be ready for jobs.

“Hi.”

She looked up to find Robert in the doorway. He always brought a smile to her face. At fifty-three, he was about Declan’s height, six feet two, wore his gray hair short, had silvery eyes to match it and a great body.

What do I care if you chose an old man?

Cursing her continued thoughts of her ex-husband, who’d made the statement about Robert only months ago, she said, “Sorry about last night. You were asleep when I got home.”

“And you left at the crack of dawn.”

“I went out to get Maggie to take her to orientation.”

A small frown turned down the corners of his mouth. “Couldn’t Declan do that?”

“I didn’t want him to. He has to come in later in the day for a meeting about his new job and will bring her home for one more night.”

Robert sat on the edge of her desk, close enough so she could smell the woodsy aftershave he must have applied this morning. His proximity made her uncomfortable. Though it was common knowledge they were dating, she didn’t like his proprietary actions at work.

“How did it go yesterday?” he asked.

“I had so much fun with the girls, getting their new rooms fixed up. And then helping to arrange furniture in the whole house. Everybody was upbeat until Maggie got home.”

“She sad again?”

“Yes.”

Someone else approached the ajar door. He knocked and Robert immediately stood. “Excuse me,” the visitor said. “I was told to come back. Is this Corporal Carrier’s office?”

She used her military title here because it helped when working with vets. Because of the babies, she’d never made it to Officer Candidate School once she decided she wanted it. Corporal was the highest rank she could reach.

Lila rose from her desk.

Robert answered before she could come around. “This is her office. I’m Robert Vance, a coworker. I was just leaving.” He headed out the door.

“Come on in, Colonel Moretti.”

The man leaned against the jamb for a minute. He was broad-shouldered and stocky, with dark eyes and hair like Nick and Gabe Marino. Finally, he trudged inside. She noticed a slight limp, which was to be expected.

She asked, “How are you feeling?”

“Better every day. I hate that I’m not a hundred percent.”

“Diving over minefields will do that.” When he scowled, she added, “You saved other men with your actions. And earned a Purple Heart.”

His scowl deepened. She rarely met a veteran who touted his medals. Declan told her once that when somebody died, even if you saved others, a vet doesn’t see himself as a hero. Lila took it upon herself to keep reminding them of their deeds, though, and sometimes she got through to their very hard heads.

She gestured out the door. “Would you like to go to the room next door?”

“Is it bigger than this?”

“We made all the other areas larger than this one.” Most vets didn’t like confined spaces. Lila had insisted on the oversized meeting rooms.

“That one would be good.”

They moved into the bigger room. Despite the fact that she wore a white suit with long sleeves, she shivered. This was the coolest of the three spaces, designed for the comfort of veterans. The colonel waited until she sat, then took a chair adjacent to her. Sometimes soldiers got as far away as possible at the end of the table, so she’d make a note in his evaluation of the fact that he didn’t

“As Robert said, I’m Lila Carrier. I was a corporal in the National Guard. But please use my first name.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He pierced her with an intense gaze. “Why do you think you can help me? There are thousands of vets who are homeless and unemployed.”

“First off, I have a bachelor’s from Cornell in human resources and a doctorate from Georgetown in psychology. I’m also experienced. I’ve placed ninety-five percent of the veterans I’ve worked with.”

“That’s a high success rate. How do you do it when you’re an academic?”

“As I said, I joined the Army National Guard in D.C. I did basic and advanced training then my monthly stints.”

“That’s not the kind of hell we went through.”

“My unit was called up for three months. I went to Iraq to identify psychological vulnerabilities and susceptibilities of operational targets. While I was there, I helped counsel soldiers. I didn’t fight, but I saw up close the effects of combat. Is that enough?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Oh, I forgot. I was instrumental in the Hire A Hero program in Rockford, New York, where I also worked in benefits.”

“I got it.” A half-smile. “You’re qualified.”

She turned to the computer and called up his file in here. “You’re a field grade officer who has significant leadership experience with a proven track record of success in commanding soldiers. That makes you an excellent candidate for senior leadership roles in business.”

“You’ve done your homework.”

“In more ways than one, Colonel.”

“Call me Todd.”

She clicked the keys on the computer, happy that she’d convinced him to work with her. She didn’t care about anyone else’s opinion, but what the vets thought meant a lot to her.

Declan drove into to MedStar Washington Hospital Center, trying not to think about Lila, who worked a little over fifteen minutes away. She’d come out to get Maggie this morning, and he’d bring their daughter home. His heart clenched at the notion of seeing his ex-wife so much. He wasn’t used to the contact, and it was wreaking havoc with his mind—and body. Chiding himself for thoughts of her, the woman who willingly left his life, he pulled up to the site.

Hell! This place certainly didn’t banish thoughts of her. He remembered like it was yesterday taking his chance to be a resident here at the expense of her going into the reserves, and the hurt that had caused. Shaking off the memory of his selfishness, he found the trauma hospital. The building was old, like many of those in D.C. He parked in the visitor’s lot and went inside. Anxious to see Benjamin Jacobs, he stopped at the information desk, and they called his mentor to come get him.

Soon, the doctor who’d dedicated his life to emergency and trauma medicine appeared. Ben had ten years on him and had aged. His dark hair was graying, there were lines around his eyes, and he’d gained some weight. Their greeting was warm—a huge bear hug—and when they drew apart, Ben said, “Welcome home, Dec.”

He was thrilled to be back. The hospital focused entirely on emergency care—multiple-victim incidents and the gravely injured. It was always busy. “Thanks. The campus does feel like home.”

“Come to my office.”

No frills described Ben’s small space on the first floor, packed with a desk, shelves, and a few chairs. Dec sat in one, Ben in another. “So, you’re working here again.”

“I want to. But I have to be honest with you, Ben, I’m not sure for how long. My extended family moved to D.C., and the girls were game, so I took a chance and moved. The house in Lakeville still hasn’t sold, so we rented.”

“What does your gut tell you?”

Man, how many times had this man asked him that during residency?

Dec, what does your gut tell you about that leg?

Dec, what does your gut tell you about what kind of infectious disease this is?

Dec, what does your gut tell you about postponing your residency?

“My gut says I’m staying. The girls start school next week, all three by the way, and the rest of the Marino clan are here. Even my mother and father moved down. There’s no reason to go back to New York.”

“That’s enough for me, especially because I know how important your family is to you. Now let’s see what kind of schedule will fit into yours and Lila’s life.”

“Lila and I divorced, Ben.”

Furrowed brows. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“You were privy to our issues. God, were we ever happy?”

“I think so. You had a rare bond, despite the conflicts over what you wanted out of life.”

“I guess. Can we talk about what I’ll do here?”

“Well, as you know, this is an acute care facility, which is your forte...”

Ben went on to describe the trauma/emergency hospital duties Dec would have, which were similar to the ones he’d done in Rockford, only on a larger scale. When he finished, Dec realized he’d left out an important aspect of his life. “There’s one more thing. I’m still doing medical missions for the army.”

“You got out of the reserves after ten years. Did you re-up?”

“To a special unit where the missions are infrequent and don’t last as long.”

Ben leaned back. “Since I’m a retired colonel, I can hardly object to that.”

“I thought so, but I don’t want to use our friendship for favors.”

Now Ben laughed aloud. “In case you’ve forgotten, we begged you to stay in the Washington system when you left for Lakeville.”

“Begged is an exaggeration, but we needed our family when Lila got pregnant with twins.”

Though she hadn’t seen it that way. But she compromised and returned to their hometown. That, he knew now, had been a mistake and ultimately, when he wouldn’t return to D.C. after eight years, it was the death knell to their relationship.

Ben got up and went behind his desk. “Let’s look at a schedule for you. I’m assuming you can get coverage for the girls down here when you have some nights.”

“Yeah, there’s a lot of people to be with them. Including their mother.”

Before he clicked into his computer, Ben peered over his glasses at Declan. “So glad to have you back, son.”

“It’s good to be back,” he reiterated.

When Declan left the hospital, he had an hour to kill before picking up Maggie. Since his mood was better, he decided to go see Lila at work. He needed to show her his first week’s schedule and discuss where she could take up the slack.

You could email her. No need to see her.

But he ignored the warning of his conscience. Instead, he drove to I Street and parked in front of the second location of the Veteran’s Benefits Online Resource Center, which seemed more like a modern house than an office building. Yellow-sided, it had paned-glass windows, two pillars, and a gabled roof. In front were a bank of purple flowers and green shrubs.

Lila did excellent work here in crisis management online or over the phone, as well as career counseling and placement for vets. She’d always excelled at her job, though she felt stifled by the demands of his. Rightly so. He’d often put himself first.

When he entered the reception area, the receptionist called Lila to the front desk. Her face was flushed when she walked into the room. “Declan, is everything all right?”

“Hell, I never thought I’d scare you by just showing up. Yeah, everyone’s fine.”

Her hand went to her heart. “Oh.” She gave him a weak smile. “You had your job meeting today. How did it go?”

“Well, I got my first three weeks’ schedule. That’s why I came, to see when you’re free to be with the girls, so I can fill in with my family.”

She glanced at her watch, a pretty gold one he’d never seen before. He wondered if Robert had given it to her. “I’m free for a bit. Come on back. I have my calendar on my computer.”

As he followed her, he noticed the pink sandals she wore with a white dress, splotched with pink flowers. And he was distracted by the graceful sway of her hips until they entered the main area. The interior was well-lit, which would appeal to veterans, with homey rugs on the floor. The big glassed-in area grabbed attention. Offices were down the hall. “Wow, this is big.”

“Yeah, but most of the space is for online work and the rest for meeting with veterans. My office is small.”

She stepped into that office to the right and took a seat behind the desk. He sat in front of her. The space was small, but had a big window with plants hanging in front of the pane of glass. He noticed pictures on a sill of the girls—and one of all of five of them together at Disney, taken before he and Lila had split. He was surprised by the latter.

They sat and she punched some keys on the computer. “Tell me what hours I can be with the girls.”

He noticed the phrasing, and felt bad all over again. But he took out his phone and called up what Ben had texted him. “I work nine to four, Monday through Wednesday, so no issues there. Thursday and Sunday nights from six to six. So I’ll need coverage for those days for three weeks. Then the times will change.”

“The girls can stay at my house overnight. I have some plans next Sunday, but either they can come, or I’ll bow out.”

“What plans?” he asked.

“Um, Robert’s son is having a birthday party for his wife.”

“Do they live locally?”

“Not far from you in Maryland.”

The late afternoon sun slanted through the window, highlighting her auburn hair. It was pulled back in some kind of braid and, unfortunately, Declan remembered undoing those braids so he could run his hands through the heavy mass while they made love.

“What are you staring at?”

“Um, your hair.”

She chuckled. “You never liked braids.”

“At certain times.”

“I remember.”

The images of them together in bed felt like another presence in the room. He shifted in his seat to block them. And concentrated on what she said. “I forget you have a whole other life now, apparently another family, with Robert.”

“Hmm.” She waited. “Dec, have you dated?”

He snorted. “When would I have time?”

“Your family has always been around for you. I know they love spending time with the girls.”

“Yeah, but my work schedule has always been demanding. I want the time I have free for them.”

“Is that all that keeps you from seeing other women?”

“Truthfully, I tried a couple of times with women I knew, to establish a relationship with them, but...” They weren’t you. “I guess I wasn’t ready.”

“It’s been two years since we officially separated.”

He stared over her shoulder, a question in his mind that had been bugging him. So he asked, “Lila, were you seeing Robert in those two years?”

“No, not until the end of our legal separation and we filed for divorce. We’ve been together for about ten months.”

I fought tooth and nail for the first year after I took the job to make things work. After you pushed me out of your life, I waited another year for you to come to your senses. And you didn’t. Then I gave up.

“In the bar that day, you said you waited for me. Did you mean it?”

She tilted her chin. “Yes, I did.”

Because the notion was overwhelming, that he may have missed the chance to get her back, he stood. “I don’t know why we’re discussing this. You have a new life.”

Looking up at him, she folded her arms over her chest. She used to do that when she wasn’t going to budge on something. “In any case, I want to be with the girls as much as I can. I was ecstatic when you told me you were moving down here.”

He waited a beat before he verbalized what was between them. “Even though I wouldn’t move for you?”

Her mouth got tight and her eyes clouded. He’d dug in his heels about staying in Lakeville and hadn’t been fair to her.

“I don’t want to discuss that anymore. It’s old business.”

“I guess.” He nodded to the computer. “Thanks for cooperating.”

“Of course. I’d see the girls every day if you’d let me.”

“That’s impractical, don’t you think?”

“Maybe not. We have joint custody. Now that you’re here, we could at least split the time.”

“I don’t see the logistics of that, but I’ll think about it.” He glanced at the modern clock on the wall. “I’ve got to pick up Maggie.”

“How do you think she’s doing with the move?”

“I think she likes having her sisters close. And you, obviously, or she wouldn’t have picked American University.”

“You’d never know it. This morning, she put in her ear buds as soon as she got in the car and wouldn’t talk to me.”

“She knows better. I don’t allow phones or iPods when we’re all in the car.”

“I wish I’d known that.”

“I really do have to go.”

Neither of them moved.

“Seeing you is hard,” she said to him.

“For me, too. We’ll get used to it.”

“I hope so.”

“Goodbye, Lila.”

“Bye, Dec.”

He walked out of her office then her building, bereft. Apparently, he hadn’t thought enough about how hard it might be to have Lila back in his life. Had he been kidding himself that he’d gotten over her?