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Seated on the couch next to him at noon on Tuesday, Ben Jacobs gestured to the beers Declan had set out for his friend and himself. “Off those pain killers already?”

“I only take them at night when I have to. My ankle’s healing well. I expect to be back at work next week.”

“The physical therapist say that would be okay?”

He took a sip of brew. “I’m a doctor. I know these things. But Joe said yes.”

“All right. Limited duty only.” Ben looked around the room. “Where’s Lila? I thought she was staying here.”

“She is. She’s meeting her mother in town, and then has a client at work.” And will talk to Robert, finally. “Speaking of work, what do you want me to look at?”

Ben took out his computer from his bag and called up a file. “This is a tough one. A young boy was brought in with a severed hand. We had to do cartwheels to attach it and he’s going to need more surgery. I want you to check the X-rays.”

After discussing what the next steps would be, Ben sat back. “Man, I miss you. I can always count on you thinking of something I didn’t.”

“Thanks, Ben. That’s good for my ego.”

“You’re a hero, buddy, going on those missions.”

Dec took his leg off the coffee table and leaned forward. “Not anymore. I’m quitting the Special Missions Unit.”

“What? Because you were hurt?”

“No, because of my daughter Maggie.” It was painful to fill Ben in on what had transpired with Mags.

“Oh, Dec, I’m so sorry.”

“It was time for me to quit, anyway. I’m pushing forty, and don’t need to put myself in the way of piles of mud anymore.”

“You sound at peace with the decision.”

“I am.”

Ben gave him a knowing look. “Does this have anything to do with Lila?”

“That’s part of it. I’m hoping we’ll get back together again.”

“Now that’s what I want to hear. You had your troubles, son, but you’re soulmates.”

“I agree.” He thought of her and Robert. “I’m waiting for her to cross the t’s and dot the i’s.”

Lila met her mother for lunch again at The Capital Grille because she liked routines. Never late, Ruth Carrier waited at a table across the room. Lila crossed to her. “Hi, Mom.”

“Hello, dear.”

She studied her mother as she sat. “You seem different.”

“I didn’t work today, so I’m in civilian clothes.”

“A pink blouse usually isn’t your style.”

Her mother flushed.

“I didn’t mean it as any insult. The color’s pretty on you.” And her hair was different. It took a minute to realize she wore it longer than she usually did.

“Now don’t fuss about me. I just wanted something different.”

“That was a compliment.”

Her mother was also more adventurous this time. She ordered a BLT with her sparkling water. Lila picked at a salad. When they finished, Ruth asked, “Is something wrong?”

“I’m worried about Maggie.”

“What about her?”

“This is going to be hard to hear, Mom, but she’s been cutting herself.”

“Oh, no. I’m not sure what’s behind all that, but I know it can’t be good.”

“We think we have things under control for now.”

“We?”

“Declan and I, of course. We had to handle this together.”

“Tell me about cutting.”

Ruth listened intently, then when Lila finished, her mother covered Lila’s hand. “I’m so sorry. How brave and smart of you to handle this so well.”

“Why, thank you, Mom.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Not right now. I’ll let you know if there is.”

For a few moments, Ruth stared over her shoulder. “Remember when we had lunch here when the girls first came to town?”

“Yes.”

“I told you I regretted not being there more for you.”

“Mom, it’s okay. You came out when Dec was hurt and that was important to me.”

“Good. But I want you to know I feel differently now about a lot of things. Let me help you and Maggie, if I can.”

The offer nearly brought Lila to tears. “Okay, Mom, I will.”

Todd Moretti seemed hassled when he walked into Lila’s office. She peered up at him from the computer where she’d been sending her mother an email. “Hi, Todd.”

“Lila.” He gestured to the machine. “Sorry I’m not using that thing. I’m proficient with it at work, but I like to talk in person.”

“That’s okay. I’m happy to see you. Let’s go to the larger space.” When they were settled across the hall, she asked, “This is about your placement, right?” Todd had gotten an accounting job in a pharmaceutical company.

“Uh-huh.” His hands gripped the chair. “Either the boss doesn’t like me or he doesn’t trust me, or he’s unimpressed by my work.”

“What makes you say that?”

“With my background, I’m supposed to be doing analysis of drug pricing. Making sure they’re in keeping with government rules and restrictions. If they don’t, I’m supposed to meet with pricing executives to discuss the issues.”

“Aren’t you?”

“No, not so far. I’m only doing the analysis. Working with management to make adjustments should be next, but in the four weeks I’ve been there, I haven’t had any contact with the execs.”

“In other words, you’ve been doing the grunt work.”

“Even that wouldn’t be bad if afterward, I could help square the regulations with our pricing.”

“So why did he cut out that part of the job?”

“I think it has to do with me.”

“Why wouldn’t he like you?”

“Beats me. I’m always on time, work hard, don’t take a lot of breaks. I try to be kind and courteous.”

Vets knew the drill.

“Tell me about this guy.”

“He’s five years older than me, meticulous, seems fair with other people.”

“What does his office look like?”

“Why?”

“There might be clues to his attitude toward you.”

“Walls of windows. Big oak desk. Nothing unusual.”

“Anything personal in there?”

Todd stared over her shoulder. After some thought, he said, “Yeah, there’s one picture of him and a young man that resembles him—”

“What?”

“He must be Paul’s son. In a military uniform.” He hit his forehead with his hand. “His son is in the service.”

“I wonder if anything happened to him.” She turned to the computer in the room. “I don’t remember your boss’s last name?”

“Perkins. Paul Perkins.”

“I have access to military records.”

It didn’t take her long to find out about Sergeant Joseph Perkins. “Oh, Todd, his son died in Afghanistan. About four months ago.”

“I must be a constant reminder.”

“I’d bet on that.”

“How should I handle this, Lila?”

“Let’s make a list of your options. I’m sure there’s something you can do.”

Lila had fleshed out the options: confronting Perkins with his suspicions, giving his boss more time to get to know Todd, not discussing his son but asking about the responsibility he was hired to have. They did pros and cons of each, and Todd left with a lot to think about.

He’d been gone only a few minutes when Robert walked into the meeting room. Dressed in a meticulous navy pin-striped suit, he leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Hi, honey. Are you ready to go?”

She crossed her arms over the light purple sweater she wore with pressed jeans. She felt underdressed and at a disadvantage. “Go where?”

“Home.” He arched a brow. “For a dinner and quiet meal so we can discuss our future.”

“No, Robert, I want to talk here at the office. Sit down.”

With a scowl she rarely saw from him, he sat.

Eye level now, she got right to the point. “I’m so sorry to say this, to hurt you, but I can’t see you anymore. I can’t continue our relationship.”

“Because of him.”

“Yes, because of Declan.”

“I told you this was happening!” he snapped at her.

“Yes you did. I’m sorry.”

“That’s crap. You put yourself in his way knowing he would try to get you back.”

“If I did, there’s a psychological reason why I would have done that.”

“I don’t need a degree to figure that one out.”

“What do you mean?”

“What you wanted all along was to go back to him.”

Defensiveness surged inside her. She’d given up on Declan and her marriage. “No, not when you and I got together.”

“We were happy, Lila.”

“I know we were.”

“So why the hell did you expose yourself to him?”

“I wanted more time with the girls.”

His eyes filled with hurt. “You can have that without him. You and I can have that.”

“No, Robert, I want him, now, too.”

“Give us another chance.”

“I can’t do that.”

“Have you slept with him? Committed to giving your marriage another shot?”

“No. I wouldn’t have done that to you.”

He stared out the window. Then he focused on her. “Is this why you bought the house in Georgetown by yourself?”

“What do you mean?”

“You bought and got the mortgage for the place before you asked me to move in.”

She shook her head. “You know how I feel about being independent from a man. I wanted my own home. I invested the money my grandparents left me and I finally had enough to purchase it by myself.”

“But now, complete ownership makes it easier to ditch me.”

“I wasn’t considering leaving you when I asked you to move in.”

“I’ll only ask one more time. Is there any way for us to stay together?”

“No.”

Robert’s confidence crumbled. His shoulders slumped and his face paled. “All right. Then I have to tell you something. This makes a decision I’ve been trying to make easier.”

“What decision?”

“I received a job offer from headquarters. It’s a promotion.”

“But you like online work. If you’re leaving because of me, I should be the one to quit.”

“Truthfully, it would be too hard to work alongside you. But I doubt this place could survive without you. In any case, this is a move I’d like to make.”

That made her feel worse. However, the situation wasn’t about her feelings now. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Obviously, there’s nothing more to talk about.” He studied her then stood. “I’ll get my things from the house on the weekend.” Without a backward glance, he strode out.

Lila felt like crying. She’d hurt a kind, generous man. And because some of his accusations were true. She did want her own house in case she wasn’t the right match for Robert. And she had put herself in a position to be swayed by Declan, over and over again. Had she done all that for the very result she got?

Who knew? Maybe she’d analyze all those questions later. Right now, she’d just feel bad for a while.

“Where’s Mommy?” This from Morgan, who with her sister, decided to make a pancake breakfast for dinner.

Where, indeed . “I don’t know. Honey, pay attention to the bacon. Sometimes it burns.” He’d insisted they put the puppies in the laundry room so the girls wouldn’t be distracted. Declan sat at the bar, watching over them like a hawk. They’d wanted to do this without his help. Lila said he should let the twins do more by themselves.

Lila.

I’m confused. But I have responsibilities to him.... What did you expect? That I’d ditch my whole life for you...? I owe him. Give me space to determine how I feel.

Why wasn’t she home yet?

Just after Morgan flipped the last pancake, Lila walked through the garage door to the kitchen. Her face was more lined than it was this morning and a sadness he’d seen before filled her eyes. For a minute, panic sparked inside him. Would she tell him she changed her mind and she planned to stay with Robert? He hadn’t considered that.

“Mo-mmy.” Meli crossed to hug her. “We fixed pancakes for dinner.”

“They smell delicious.” She sniffed. “So does the bacon.”

Morgan studied her from the stove. “Mommy? Are you okay?”

“Yes, sweetie.”

Declan asked, “Tough day?”

“Very.”

He glanced at the clock. “And a long one.”

“Uh-huh.” She hung her purse on a row of hooks just off the kitchen. “I drove around a while before I came home.”

“Why?” Morgan wanted to know.

“To decompress, honey. That means to calm down.”

“Remember how we send you to your room when you’re...not acting like your normal sweet self?” Declan asked.

Meli scrunched her nose. “Yeah.” She asked sympathetically, “Do you feel better, Mom?”

“I do.” Lila crossed the room and before she sat, she squeezed Declan’s arm. He felt it to his toes. A hypersensitivity to her had already begun. “Did you manage without me?” she said to him.

“Mostly. But I prefer having you here.”

The girls served the pancakes and bacon, and sat down to eat. Declan picked up his fork.

“I don’t want you to go ever,” Morgan said before anybody could take a bite.

Meli added, “Me neither. We need you here every day.”

She studied them for a minute, then covered Declan’s hand with hers. Without a bit of hesitation, she said, “Your father and I have been talking about that very thing.”

Meli dropped her fork. Morgan’s glass slammed to the table. “No kidding?” and “Oh, Mommy,” they responded simultaneously. When Declan said nothing, Morgan asked, “Daddy, is that true?”

“It’s true. No big decisions have been made yet.”

Holding his gaze, she gave him a soft smile. Now her eyes were clear. “I think they have.”

His heart speeded up, this time with joy. “You do? They have?”

“Yep.”

The reality of her words rocked him. Unable to stop himself, he got up and hobbled to her side of the table. Leaning down, he gave Lila a big kiss on the mouth. He could have fallen into it, but the girls were here, so he kept it short.

Meli squealed.

And Morgan burst into tears.

They broke apart and Lila reached out to take her hand. “Morgy? You okay?”

“W-we just wanted this for a long time.”

“I think Dad and I did, too.”

“Family hug!” Meli said, bounding up. They gathered in a group. And embraced. After they all sat again, they wolfed down their food.

When they finished, Declan put down his fork. “We have one thing we have to discuss, girls. And it’s serious.”

Lila’s brows furrowed.

“We can’t tell Maggie about Mom and me yet.”

“Because she’s sick?”

“She’s not sick, Meli,” he explained. “She’s troubled. We don’t want to add to her issues.”

Morgan frowned. “Daddy, she’ll be as happy as us.”

“I know. But I don’t want to give her anything more to think about right now. Trust me on this.”

“Can we tell Grandma and Grandpa? Our aunts and uncles?” Meli again, with uncontrolled glee.

Lila stepped in. “No. Not yet.”

“Okay.” Morgan looked at Meli. “We’ll just tell Dylan and Durango.”

They cleaned up together. The girls popped around the kitchen, teasing each other, singing songs. Declan wondered when they’d stopped doing that.

As for him, he took every opportunity to bump up against Lila, get a whiff of her sweet scent, once even stealing a kiss behind their backs.

When he saw that the girls hadn’t settled down, he made some coffee and said, “I’ll take a mugful outside with you two and the dogs, and Mom can catch her breath.”

Lila’s expression was grateful.

They donned fall coats as it was cooler at night now. Their neighborhood was quiet. Lights shone from the other houses. The girls skipped around the yard, played tag, and Morgan ran the perimeter of the grass with the dogs.

Meli dropped down in front of him. “I’m happy, Daddy.”

“Me, too, pumpkin.”

The four of them did bedtime together like they used to. One parent went with one twin, and then they switched. When Morgan slid under the covers, she grabbed Declan’s hand. “This is good, right, Daddy?”

“Yes, honey, it is.”

“I want you to be happy.”

“I’ve been happy.”

“Since Mom left, you’ve been sad even when you were happy.”

“Have I? Well, I’m not sad anymore.”

Which was an understatement. His heart was so full it could burst open. When he got downstairs, he saw Lila was waiting in the great room with two glasses of wine. He sat on the couch, but not near her.

“Don’t get too close,” he warned her. “I don’t trust myself around you right now, I want you so much. But first, I need to know how it went with Robert.”

“I told him I wanted a relationship with you. The conversation was hard, Dec. He was very upset.”

“I imagine he was.”

“He asked me to reconsider.”

The glass stopped halfway to his mouth. “What did you say?”

“That there was nothing to think over.” She scooted closer, despite his request, and cradled his face with her free hand. “I love you, Declan Marino. I always have.”

“Thank God.” He kissed her knuckles. “I love you, too.”

They smiled at each other. Sat there together holding hands. Sipping drinks. Making small talk. At one point, she cuddled into him and he reveled in the silky skin of her arm that he was allowed to touch, again. They savored this new beginning.

When it started to get dark, he said, “Where are you sleeping tonight, Lila?”

“Upstairs.”

“I was afraid of that.”

“Because the girls are here. And I don’t want any interruptions when we make love.”

“I know, but hell, God”—here, he looked up—“this isn’t fair!”

She laughed.

He laughed.

“This might make you feel better. I called Whitney after I drove around for a while. She’s going to get the girls from school tomorrow. They have the end of the week off for Columbus Day.”

“What did you tell her?”

“She already knew what I planned to do.”

“Geez. That drives me nuts.”

“I know.” She chuckled then turned serious. “It just didn’t seem right to verbalize anything to you before I spoke with Robert.”

“Water under the bridge, I guess.”

“Anyway, she’ll have them at her house for two nights.”

“I see. So tomorrow morning, we have a date, woman.”

“We can have dates forever, Dec.”

“Forever. I like that word now.”

“Me, too.”