Chapter 15

Sarah

When I wake up on Saturday, the first day of my Christmas vacation, I still feel like I don’t know where I am. I’m aware that I’m in the cabin where Graham put me up, but when I look at the wooden beams that make up the walls of the place and the wooden ceiling, I don’t feel like I’m home.

It’s horrible not to feel like I’m home for Christmas. I’m not on vacation, even though the cabin has a mountain-cabin feel to it. I’m just… lost.

Someone is knocking on my door, and I realize that’s why I woke up. I push my feet into my slippers and pull on a thick robe before I walk to the door. The cabin is much colder than my home was — I have a heater and a fireplace, the house is so much smaller, and I still struggle to heat it. It might have to do with the insulation of the place or something, but I’m not a builder. Graham would probably know what it’s all about.

When I open the door, Graham stands in front of me, fresh and smiling.

“Did I wake you?” he asks, looking me up and down.

I rub my eyes with my palms. “Yeah, but I should be getting up anyway.”

“Sorry,” Graham says. “I come bearing gifts.”

He turns around and walks to his car. I look around and see a world transformed. Snow must have fallen throughout the night because the ground, the naked branches, the slopes and the rocks are all covered with a thick blanket of white snow.

“This is beautiful,” I say.

“I think it’s just for you,” Graham says over his shoulder. He takes a few things out of his car. A box with Christmas decorations that he brings to me so I don’t have to walk with my slippers in the snow, four bags of groceries, and a string of fairy lights that looks like he just bought them.

“You didn’t have to get me all this stuff,” I say, taking the groceries from him.

“Yes, I did. You’re already having to relocate, and it’s snowing now. You don’t have your snow tires on. I checked. It was safer for me to go.”

He’s all attentive and caring. I like it. I grin when he mentions my tires. He’s such a man.

Graham starts unpacking the Christmas decorations while I take care of the groceries. I put them away in the little fridge and pantry. He’s brought me a lot of non-perishables and a few fresh things. I’m grateful. It’s not like I don’t have cash to stock up for Christmas, but with the move and my terrible mood, I haven’t even thought about going to the store.

I’m glad to see Graham. I usually don’t mind being alone, but being in a strange place after losing my home made me feel lost and forgotten. It seems silly now, when I’m not alone anymore, but it was how I felt.

When I’m done packing away groceries, I turn around to a living room that’s suddenly festive. Graham put up tinsel above the two windows and a little tree with flashing lights in the corner. He put up the Christmas lights against the back wall, and everything is cheery, now.

“This is just what I needed, thank you,” I say to him.

I sit down on the couch, and I take a deep breath. Maybe this won’t be so bad.

Graham starts a fire in the hearth. The crackle of flames, the Christmas lights against the back wall, and the tree in the corner make everything feel better.

“How is your sister doing?” I ask when Graham stands next to me. Whenever I ask about her, Graham seems to be uncomfortable. Maybe he doesn’t like talking about her to strangers, but we’re hardly strangers anymore.

“She’s doing all right, thank you. Sometimes, all you need is a little family.” Graham is answering my question, but he’s being evasive.

I won’t push if he doesn’t want to speak about it. Still, I find it strange because he’s so talkative about everything else. Maybe it’s because we barely know each other. I’m not exactly going to divulge everything about my life to him, either.

We make hot cocoa, talk about everything and nothing, and enjoy each other’s company. When I look out the window, snow is falling again. Graham doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to leave, and I’m relieved.

“I love this time of year,” I say. “Most people get annoyed when the weather is miserable like this, but I love it. I prefer it over summer.”

“I can’t exactly say I love it, but I like the idea of a white Christmas,” Graham says.

I know he’s happy about the snow for my sake, though. It’s another thing I like about him. He seems to want what I want, solely because it makes me happy.

With the falling snow, it’s not particularly light, but by the time the sky starts to darken, Graham gets up.

“I should probably get going and leave you to yourself.”

I don’t want him to leave, but I’m not going to tell him that. We’ve been spending a lot of time together lately, but I don’t want him to know that I prefer him being around right now.

When I open the front door, a gust of freezing wind blows into the cabin. The world is yet again transformed, the snow so thick it looks like it’s been snowing for days. Graham’s car is half buried.

“Oh, God, this is bad.” Graham looks a little panicked. “I’m not going to get my car out of that.”

“Are you sure we can’t dig it out?” I ask.

Graham shakes his head, looking grim. “I’ve been stuck in snow enough times to know a lost cause when I see one.”

We stand side by side, looking at his car.

“Maybe you should stay the night,” I say. “I have another room, and it’s your cabin, after all.”

Graham shakes his head. “I can’t stay here,” he says. “I can’t leave my sister alone.”

He looks freaked out about it, and I don’t understand why. Surely, his sister will be fine without him for one night? The way he made it sound when I asked him was that she was having marital problems. I didn’t get the idea that she needed him to hold her hand. Of course, he’s only told me a small part of it. Maybe there is a lot more to it than I know.

“If you’re serious about getting out of here, we can try. I’ll help you.”

Graham looks at me, his face sullen. If he were a child, I would have said he was pouting. But Graham is a grown man, and he doesn’t pout.

“It’s not going to help,” he says.

I want to argue with him, but he looks like he’s made up his mind. He’s not happy about having to stay over, but all I can think about is that I don’t have to spend the night alone. Maybe it’s a little unfair. He seems to be very worried about his sister, but I hate being alone in this little cabin.

Graham turns to me and sighs. “It looks like I don’t have a choice. I have to stay the night.”

I’m not sure how to respond to that, but then he flashes me a smile, and I know it’s not as bad as he made it seem.