Chapter 24

Graham

On Wednesday morning, the snow has stopped again, and I’m relieved. It wasn’t a heavy snowfall, but I was still worried that it would affect our stay. The weather has warmed, though, and when I check the weather report, they confirm that it’s warming up.

When we sit down to lunch, we discuss our options.

“I think we’ll be able to leave by tomorrow,” I say. “I checked the car earlier, and it’s gone down quite a bit, despite last night’s snow.

“That’s great,” Sarah says. “What do you think the odds are that just as I leave, there’s more snow, and then I can’t come back?”

I didn’t even think about that. “I don’t think there will be another storm like this one, but if that’s the case, you said you’ll be able to stay on Monica’s couch for a night or two?”

Sarah nods. I would offer for her to come stay at my place if that’s the case, but I don’t want her near my house. I don’t want her finding out what’s going on.

“I think we should give it a shot. I’ll drop you off at your sister’s.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Sarah says. “My car is here. I can drive.”

I shake my head. “You don’t have snow tires on. I don’t think it’s safe driving around when there’s this much snow on the ground.”

Sarah rolls her eyes, but I’m not going to budge on this one. I haven’t told her yet that my parents died in a car accident when they slipped on an icy road and ran into a tree. I don’t want her to drive when she doesn’t take the necessary precautions for this time of year.

“I’ll drop you off at Monica’s place, like I said, and pick you up again when you’re ready to come back here.”

Sarah sighs. “At least, let my sister drop me off at your place, then. She has her tires on and everything, before you go there.”

I shake my head. “I’ll pick you up. I don’t want your sister going out of her way because I’m fussy about the tires and not letting you drive.”

Sarah shrugs, and I can see she’s irritated, but I won’t budge on driving her. The bit about me not wanting Monica to go out of her way is not true at all. I won’t mind Monica going out of her way, but I want to make sure that Sarah stays far away from her old place. At least, until I tell her who I am and what I’ve done.

I don’t know when I’ll stop being a coward and just do it, but until then, I want to make sure she doesn’t figure it out by herself. I can’t think of anything worse than her hearing it from someone else that I’m the person who kicked her out of her place just before Christmas. Evicting Sarah was already terrible, but to do it at this time of year was a million times worse. Somehow, I wish that James had gotten himself arrested in the middle of the year or something so that what I did was only half as bad.

“Okay, I guess I have no way around this,” Sarah finally says, and I’m relieved she agrees.

“The snow won’t be a problem for much longer,” I say.

“It’s going to keep up like this until spring,” she points out.

I nod. This is true. “We’ll just have to make sure you’ve got your tires taken care of soon, then. Until then, I don’t want you driving around.”

“So, you’re going to chauffeur me all the time?”

“At least until the snow isn’t so thick.”

I know it sounds ridiculous. I sound paranoid. And I am, just not about snow tires. Not the way that I’m paranoid about Sarah finding out my secret. The moment we leave this cabin, her chances of figuring it out increase. I know I must tell her, soon, but not until after Christmas — real or postponed — and everything has settled.

“Are you okay?” Sarah asks. “You seem tense.”

“I’m fine,” I lie. I’m not fine at all. My stomach tightens into a fist of nerves, and I feel sick.

“I’m just worried about my sister.” God, the lies just don’t stop, do they? At least, it’s not false.

“I thought she was all right, now?” Sarah asks.

I shrug. “The problems weren’t on the forefront, if I can put it that way, but the justice system will take its toll soon.”

Sarah frowns. “The justice system? That sounds serious. I thought it was just a fight between husband and wife.”

I sigh. Every now and then, I say too much. I try to avoid one topic, and then I slip up on the other.

“It’s a little complicated,” I say. I don’t want Sarah to know more. I don’t want her to know that sometimes I think maybe Britney’s situation with James is my fault because she didn’t have anyone she could turn to. Mom and Dad were dead, our grandparents had just passed away, and I was trying so hard to keep my head above water in my own life that I didn’t pay enough attention to Britney’s to be able to see she was heading for trouble.

I push the thought away.

“Let’s talk about happier things,” I say. “Or watch a movie. I think we have one more left.”

Sarah nods. She’s not going to push the topic, and I’m relieved. She’s not a nosy gossip like so many women. It makes me want to fill her in on what I’m struggling with. But if she knows that James is in jail and I had to move Britney out of her house, I’m scared that she’ll figure out the rest. I don’t even want to go there, to tell her even a little bit about what happened. The fewer pieces of this puzzle she has, the murkier the picture is, and I need to keep it that way.

I’m digging myself a hole, weaving a web of lies. I know I am. But I don’t know what else to do. For now, I’m stuck doing damage control. After this blows over, I’ll speak to her, I vow. I’ll tell her what’s been going on, explain everything to her, and hope and pray that she understands how important it was for me to do what I did. That’s all I can do — be honest and let the pieces fall where they may.