Chapter Thirty-Two

Harry

This was a time I wished I had something to do, like a job. I was going out of my mind thinking about Amber and William together. She didn’t want me. She had never truly wanted me. The brief time we had been together was more about scratching an itch. She didn’t have William to satisfy her needs, so I was the runner-up. As usual. Once again, I was in second place.

For my own sanity, I had to get out of my apartment tonight. I had to go out and let loose. Returning to my old habits was the best way to put the whole Amber thing behind me. It had been a nice interlude, but now it was time to get back to real life. It was time to say fuck it and go back to my old ways. It was so much easier that way. I wanted to shut off the feelings and let it ride.

Grayson had been on me to go out for the last week, so I finally agreed. Tonight was ladies’ night at most of the bars, which was always a huge hit for me. I was going to find someone to go home with and bury myself deep inside. I needed to erase Amber’s face from my brain, and the best way to do that was by replacing it with a new face.

I knew she didn’t want me. William had always been her goal. She said she was confused and all that bullshit, but I knew better. I wasn’t going to wait around and hope and beg for her to choose me. That was stupid and not my style. I was who I was, and if that wasn’t good enough for her, so be it. I had learned a long time ago I was never going to be anyone’s first choice. I knew it and embraced it.

I took one last look in the mirror and felt satisfied with my appearance. It wasn’t like it was all that hard to pick up a woman. We always sat in the VIP section at the clubs or managed to secure a place in the bar that separated us from the rest of the patrons. When we were just out of reach, it made us all that more attractive. They wanted what they couldn’t have.

Tonight, we were headed to our favorite club. It was always a good place to find a lady who was ready and willing for a good time.

“It’s about damn time I saw your ugly mug,” Grayson said in greeting as I sat down on one of the couches. “I almost forgot what you looked like. I haven’t seen your face on any of the local social pages or anything. I was beginning to think you had moved. Or died.”

“I didn’t know you missed me so much. I thought you would enjoy a break from all this so you could have all the ladies to yourself.”

He laughed. “I was getting tired of picking up the slack.”

“I’m here now, and I think I need to make up for lost time. I’m sure the ladies will be happy I’m back.”

Apretty waitress sauntered up the couple steps into our area and quickly took our drink orders. I gave her a healthy tip to keep my drink full at all times. I planned on getting shitfaced and wiping out every memory of Amber. It was the only way I would be able to go on. I had to erase her from my brain. I didn’t even want to think about what the future held should she decide to marry William. There was no fucking way I would stand as the best man in that wedding. I didn’t want to wish them well or any of the standard bullshit.

“What was that rumor I heard?” Grayson asked.

“Rumor?” I asked, finishing my drink and quickly waving my hand to remind the waitress of our deal.

I was going to get drunk. Drunk was my goal.

Grayson smiled. “The rumor about you being engaged.”

I smirked. “It wasn’t a rumor. I was engaged. It’s over, though. It ended a few days ago, and I need to get back into the swing of things.”

“Shit, that has to be a new record for the shortest relationship ever.”

I laughed. “No. Britney Spears still has me beat with her three-day marriage. I was engaged for over a week, or thereabouts.”

“Well, I’m glad you came to your senses. You married is not a picture I ever want to see. Why didn’t you tell me about this mystery woman?”

I shrugged. “It didn’t last long enough for me to tell anyone. It was a momentary lapse in judgment. I’ve recovered.”

“You had a party to celebrate your engagement. Thanks for inviting me by the way.”

“Sorry. I was only given about a two-day notice, and it was my mom’s thing. Trust me, you didn’t want to be there.”

“That’s cool. I was out of town anyway. I bet you’ll recover even better with that pretty little blonde that’s eyeing you like you are a prime cut of beef,” he said, subtly nodding his head toward one of the sharks circling the VIP section.

I shrugged. “I’m in the mood for a brunette.”

I had thought I preferred blondes, but after Amber, I had a new appreciation for long-haired brunettes.

He laughed. “I’ll keep my eyes open. I’m sure we can find you one or two willing candidates.”

As the night wore on, the club filled up. Ladies’ night did not mean only ladies filled the club. There were just as many men sniffing around, looking to take home one of the eligible women. The sea of people gyrating to the sound of an electronic beat had mesmerized me. Combined with the flashing lights, it had put me into some kind of trance. I had been zoning out, downing one drink after another. The more drinks I had, the more my senses dulled.

“Hey, look what I found,” Grayson said a little too loudly, snapping me out of my trance.

I turned and found him coming into the roped-off section with three brunettes. The man had delivered what I’d asked for.

“What do you have there?” I asked with a smile.

“One for you, two for me,” he said with a grin.

One of the ladies sat next to me. “I’m Jess,” she said in a sultry voice.

“Hi, Jess. I’m Harry.”

She smiled. “I’d love to find out for myself.”

I laughed at her stupid innuendo to be polite. I didn’t think it was funny in the slightest. “Maybe later, sweetheart. Let’s get you a drink.”

The woman was pressed against my side. Her hand trailed a line up my leg. I casually moved my leg and handed her a drink, hoping to keep her hands busy. I felt guilty. I couldn’t explain it, but having the woman fondling me and continuously trying to kiss me was making me uncomfortable. It was Amber’s hands I wanted on me, not this woman’s.

Grayson was making quite the spectacle of himself. The two women were practically crawling on him. It was definitely making the section feel a lot smaller.

“Want to get out of here?” Jess asked.

“How about we finish our drinks first?” I said, stalling for time.

She was practically purring against me. “Sounds good, honey.”

I grimaced at the term but pretended I didn’t mind. After another drink, I would probably change my mind.

Right now, all I could think about was Amber. I wasn’t sure when, but at some point, while sitting on the couch with Jess rubbing against me, I had realized I loved Amber. It washed over me. I had never been in love. I didn’t think it was possible to fall in love with someone so quickly, but I knew that was what I was feeling. Every part of me longed for her. My heart ached at the thought of never getting to hold her again or lie in bed and talk after having amazing sex for hours.

“Can we go now?” Jess pouted.

I looked down at her and figured I might as well. I couldn’t have Amber and Jess looked like the next best thing.

“Yep. We’ll grab a cab. My place, okay?”

She smiled. “Yes.”

“See you later,” I said, nodding my head at Grayson as we passed. I wasn’t sure he could see me clearly. He was currently buried under a lot of hair and boobs. I wasn’t sure how the man was going to handle two women but figured he would survive.

I managed to hail a cab quickly. Jess climbed in and practically tried to sit in my lap. I gently pushed her off me. I gave the cabbie my address and sat back. I had thought my apprehensions about taking a woman home would have evaporated by now. They hadn’t. I needed more alcohol.

All too soon, the cab pulled to a stop in front of my building. I hesitated, my hand on the door handle. I turned to look back at her. She smiled.

“Everything okay?” she purred.

“Actually, it is. I’m going to bed. The driver will take you home.”

I gave the cabbie a hundred-dollar bill and got out of the cab.

“Good night, Jess.”

“What!” she screeched. “What are you doing?”

I shut the door and headed inside. I was doing what was right. I had thought going back to my old ways and sleeping around was the answer to getting over Amber. I now knew I’d been wrong. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be with another woman until I knew there was no chance I would ever be with Amber again. I couldn’t risk her dumping me if she thought I was screwing around.

I walked into my apartment and kicked off my shoes, stripping as I walked to the shower in my bathroom. I had to wash away the smell of the woman who had been draped all over me. It was strange not to be taking a woman home. I didn’t regret it. I was glad I had come to my senses.

I stood under the hot water spray, letting the water sober me up a bit. I was going to fight for Amber. I was going to tell her how I felt. William assumed she would choose him because of what they’d had in the past. That was the past. That was before she had spent time with me. The very fact she was confused was a good sign for me.

She was confused because she felt something for me. I smiled, feeling a great deal of satisfaction. It had happened fast for her as well. I was going to chalk it up to my sexual prowess. I had wowed her into falling in love with me. At least I hoped she was in love with me. Somehow, I had to nudge William out of the way. William wasn’t the man for her. He would never appreciate her fire, that spark that drove her.

William was going to change her, fix her to be the perfect Martin woman who had no opinions and no real self-worth. She was going to be molded into the wife of the future CEO of Martin industries. She would be expected to plan parties, rub elbows with the right people, and be gracious in all situations. The fire that burned within Amber, that made her unique, would be squelched. I was not going to let that happen without a fight. I had to convince her I was the right man for her. I could give her a good life and appreciate her for who she was.