Chapter Twenty-Five
Michael
I was surprised when Paige invited me to another Sunday night dinner with her parents. But the invitation made sense when she explained that her parents probably expected it and would have more questions if I didn't go. And since we would soon know if she was pregnant or not, I still felt like I owed it to her.
Besides, I reflected on Monday morning, I liked those Sunday night dinners. We had never had anything like those in my family. Even when both of my parents had been home, we'd never really had family dinners. My father and I might have eaten together every so often, but that had mostly been a matter of happenstance, and even then, we'd hardly talked. Or we'd discussed the business.
Paige and her parents had animated conversations about everything, from Paige's childhood to current events. It was fun to watch, and it was entertaining to take part.
And they really did a great job of making me feel like I was a part of it. I didn't want to say that I felt like I was being accepted into the family, but they were welcoming. I couldn't believe that even though Paige was an adult and had been living on her own for years, they were still just there for her, in whatever way she needed them. But more than that, they wanted to know about her life and meet her friends.
There had been one strange moment the previous night when Paige's mom had asked why they got to meet Paige's “boyfriend” but still hadn't met Paige's roommate, best friend, and manager (Erica). I frowned, wondering how it was that Paige still hadn't introduced Erica to them. Wondering if that meant something. But I'd put the thought out of my mind almost immediately. I didn't know what was going on in Paige's head, but speculations like that were doomed to disaster.
The problem was, I was starting to feel guilty about the whole thing. This baby ought to grow up in a family like this, knowing that it was loved and supported. And if Paige wanted to keep the baby, I didn't think I could protest, and I didn't think I could try to take the second child away from her any more than I could take away the first one. She had signed the contract and effectively signed away those rights, but at the same time, I wasn't a monster.
And I was starting to wonder how good of an upbringing I could give a child. Of course, I didn't think I would ever raise a child in the way that my parents had raised me. I did want to be there for the kid and give it everything it wanted. But I also didn't know if I could really be there, not like Paige and her family could be.
I hadn't been raised that way. I could be more loving than my parents, I was sure, but I didn't know that I could be as loving as someone who was raised to be a loving individual, like Paige was.
But I was getting way ahead of myself. We didn't even know if Paige was pregnant yet. It could be that we had to wait a whole month until she was ovulating again. Who knew what could change, between now and then.
I didn't know what I expected might change, but it seemed like I was worrying prematurely.
I took a deep breath, and suddenly I remembered Paige mentioning in passing that her period was due to start today, if she was going to have her period. I sent her a quick text, asking about it.
Haven't bought a test yet, Paige sent back, but that was it.
I frowned, thinking over the events of the weekend for the umpteenth time. Saturday night had been so perfect, but she had been gone before I woke up on Sunday morning. I had had to quell a rush of disappointment at that. She must have thought, again, that I just wanted her there so we could try to conceive the child if we hadn't already. If there was any remaining chance of it.
But then, she had called me in the middle of the day and asked me to dinner with her parents. And that night, it had been as though nothing was wrong between us, even though neither of us mentioned how she had disappeared on me that morning. Again, I was struck with the realization that we needed to have a serious talk at some point. But I wasn't sure what to say to her.
Mainly because I didn't know what I wanted from her. It was one thing to realize I had feelings for someone; it was another thing entirely to start a relationship with her. Plus, suppose that I was mistaken, and she didn't have feelings for me at all. I didn't want to mess up an easy friendship, and I didn't want to mess up the contract. Having an heir came first and foremost.
For now, I realized it would put my mind at rest to first know whether she was pregnant or not, since my thoughts seemed to keep coming back around to the contract and whether or not there was a baby already growing inside of her.
I did a little research and finally found information about something called an EPT test, which could be taken before the period was missed, telling you even sooner if you were pregnant. Of course, I knew it wasn't entirely foolproof, but it would at least give us something to work off.
I stopped by the pharmacy as I left work and picked one up.
When I got to Paige's apartment, I had to stop outside the door for a minute, taking a deep breath to compose myself. Then, I knocked.
I hadn't been over there before and didn't know what to expect, but it certainly wasn't what I saw when Paige opened the door. The place was tiny, and sheets divided the different areas of the room. I shook my head, knowing I needed to get her out of there. She deserved better than that.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
“Is Erica here?”
Paige frowned. “No, but if you're here for another round of sex, it's too late for me to conceive on this cycle.”
I felt a rush of disappointment run through me, thinking that meant her period had already shown up. But just to confirm: “You started your period?”
“No, but it should come today if it's going to come,” Paige said impatiently. “That means it's probably too late. We've tried our best.”
She seemed as though she didn't even want to consider having sex with me again, and I frowned, wondering what had changed. Our relationship seemed to be constantly flipping between hot and cold. First, things were fine between us, and then it was like she never wanted to talk to me again. I didn't know where I stood with her, and it was starting to drive me nuts.
I held out the test. “I bought you this. It's supposed to be the earliest you can use to know if you are pregnant, and it should work even if you haven't missed your period yet.”
Paige frowned down at it, her face paling slightly. She slowly took the bag from my hands, looking as though she didn't want to be anywhere near it.
“Are you all right?” I asked her.
She gave a nervous laugh. “Yeah, it's just, it's all just started to feel real,” she said. “I could be pregnant, couldn't I?”
I raised an eyebrow at her. “Isn't that the point?” I asked. “That's what we were trying to achieve.”
“Right, it was,” Paige said. “It's a big change, that's all.”
I wanted to pull her into my arms and comfort her, but from the way that she crossed her arms, she didn't appear to want that. I frowned, trying to figure out what she wanted me to say.
“Once you take the test, there will be no more wondering and worrying,” I pointed out. “Or there may still be worrying, but at least you'll know for sure if there really is a baby to worry about.”
Paige cracked a small smile. Then, she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “All right,” she said. “I'm going to go use this, I guess. Give me a minute.”
I waited near the door, even though part of me wanted to use the time that she was in the bathroom to check out the apartment. I realized I was curious about how Paige lived. I wondered if she was messy or neat. On another level, I wondered what her bed looked like. Wanted to picture her sprawled out there in that bed, her hair spilling over the pillows as she stretched and woke up in the morning.
I was embarrassed to feel myself grow hard. Paige was in the other room, testing to see if she was pregnant. If so, there would be no more of this arrangement between us. I wanted to be there for her during her pregnancy, but if this was strictly the business relationship we had outlined in the contract, who knew how much she would allow for me to help her. Maybe she wouldn't want to see me at all, and then as soon as the baby was born, she would just hand it over to me.
Paige walked out of the bathroom, her face grim.
“Not pregnant?” I asked, not sure how I felt.
“We need to wait two minutes,” she told me. She still looked nervous, all but ringing her hands. I nodded and moved towards her, stopping just short of pulling her into my arms. But it was Paige who stepped into my arms, wrapping her arms around my waist and burying her face against my chest.
The next two minutes felt like the longest two minutes of my life, but it was strangely nice, having her pressed against me like that. I petted her hair, resting my cheek against the top of her head.
Finally, I looked at my watch and saw that two minutes had passed. I nodded and took a step away from Paige, putting my hands on her shoulders. For a moment, I just stared at her, and she stared back. I sensed that there was something to say, but I didn't have the words for whatever it was hanging in the air between us.
We went into the bathroom, and Paige hesitantly reached out and turned over the stick. Two pink lines were showing on it.
“What does that mean?” I asked, my voice strangely hushed.
Paige consulted the back of the box and then looked back over at me. “Pregnant,” she whispered.
I stared at her for a long moment, hardly able to believe it. Then, I pulled her into my arms, hugging her fiercely. “Pregnant,” I repeated.
Paige laughed a little. “Pregnant,” she agreed.
“I'm going to make sure you have the best care imaginable,” I promised her. “I've already started looking into gynecologists and prenatal vitamins and workshops.”
Paige laughed again. “Okay, super-dad,” she told me, but she looked pleased.
I pulled her into my arms again, kissing the top of her head.