Chapter Thirty-Three

Amber

 

 

I walked into the office, not all that surprised to see William was already there. His office door was open.

“Amber,” he called out.

I silently groaned. “Yes?”

“Can you come in here for a second, please?”

“I’ll be right in.”

I almost dreaded what he would say.

“Shut the door, please.”

I closed it and walked in, taking a seat in the chair across from him.

“What’s up?” I asked.

He looked at me for several long seconds. “Have you made up your mind?”

I let out a long sigh. “William, I need time.”

“It’s been several days.”

“That isn’t very long. It’s a big decision, one that affects more than just me. I want to make sure I’m making the right decision.”

He shook his head. “You’re being dramatic. I get it. You want me to pay for hurting you. Stringing this along is your way of paying me back.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not paying you back for anything. This is about me trying to work through some things. I don’t want to make a mistake.”

“Are you insinuating I could be a mistake?”

“No. It isn’t like that. I can’t be with you if I care for someone else. That wouldn’t be fair to anyone.”

He held up a hand. “Enough. I get it. I’ll wait for your decision.”

It wasn’t the response I had hoped for, but it would have to do.

“Thank you. Did you need anything else while I’m in here?”

“No.”

I walked out and shut the door. I knew he was angry. I didn’t want to poke the bear any more than necessary.

William had made himself scarce since our previous conversation, if it could even be called that. Or maybe it was I who made myself scarce. I was still pissed at how he had reacted to an invitation to join me at my parents’ place. It wasn’t exactly a food truck. It was a real restaurant, clean, and they had an excellent reputation. For him to so easily dismiss it offended me.

I was prepared to tell him I was busy for lunch if he did ask. Lunch with William would turn into him pressuring me to give him an answer. I wasn’t ready to give one. I casually glanced at the time and noticed it was almost noon. If William was going to ask me to lunch, he would have done so by now.

I would give him another twenty minutes. If he didn’t ask, then he couldn’t possibly be mad when I left without waiting for him. I hoped he didn’t ask.

“Hi.” Harry’s voice startled me.

I looked up and stared at him. “Harry?”

It was more of a question than a reply. I was so surprised to see him, I was at a loss for words.

“It’s me, in the flesh,” he said with a big smile. “Surprised?”

I nodded. “Yes, I am. Are you here for William? Are you two on speaking terms again?” I asked, having gotten an earful from William after Harry’s impromptu visit.

He had made me feel like he’d caught me cheating on him. I had explained nothing had happened and it was a brief visit, but that hadn’t appeased him. He had wanted me to make a promise that I wouldn’t see or talk with Harry again. I had refused, which had only added further tension to our already strained relationship.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

He shrugged. “I wanted to see if you’re available for lunch.”

“You did?” I asked, feeling like a complete moron. “Really?”

“Yes. Is that okay? Do you have plans? I understand if you do.”

I shook my head and then smiled. “Actually, no, I don’t. I would love to go to lunch with you. Are you ready to go now?” I asked, anxious to get out of the office before William showed up.

“Whenever you’re ready.”

“I’m ready now. Let’s go,” I said, standing and grabbing my purse.

He looked at me strangely. “You look like you’re about ready to run out of here.”

“I’m hungry.”

I knew he didn’t believe me. That was okay. We both knew the shadow of William hung around the office. It was best if we kept our friendship quiet. I couldn’t imagine he and William were on very good terms at the moment either.

“What are you hungry for?” he asked as we started walking down the street together.

“Anything will work for me. I skipped breakfast this morning,” I said, so happy to be going to lunch with him.

“Works for me. How about sushi?”

I smiled. “Sounds good. Are we going to walk?” I asked, realizing he had passed the parking garage entrance.

“It’s not far. Besides, if we walk, I get to spend more time with you.”

I laughed. “Okay. That works for me.”

“There’s a sushi place a couple blocks up. It’s a nice day, and I figured you would appreciate the fresh air after being cooped up for so long.”

“Thank you, and you’re right. I sometimes forget what season it is. I swear I don’t see the sun at all during the fall and winter months. I’m probably lacking some important vitamin,” I joked.

“Well, I guess I better take you on walks more often. We can’t have you withering away on us. Here’s the place,” he said, grabbing my hand and leading me inside the restaurant.

My heart did a little flip-flop. I had missed his touch. This was what I had longed for the other night with William. I appreciated the way Harry liked to stay connected.

We took our seats, and I looked at him. I found myself studying his face. When he caught me looking, he raised an eyebrow.

“What are you looking at?” he asked in a husky tone.

I shrugged. “You.”

He sighed. “I’ve missed you.”

I smiled. “I’ve missed you.”

“Have you told your parents?” he asked.

I knew exactly what he was talking about. I was embarrassed. “No. I feel kind of stupid.”

He chuckled. “Me either. I mean, my dad keeps telling me he doesn’t believe the engagement is real. I haven’t had the heart to tell them. Wait. That’s not true. I don’t want to tell them because that would require me going there or calling them.”

I smiled. “Has it been rough with the whole William thing?”

He rolled his eyes. “They’re convinced William has ruined the family.”

“Seriously?”

“Yep.”

“Wow, I had no idea. That is intense.”

He shrugged. “Can we not talk about my family?”

I laughed. “I would like that very much.”

“How’ve you been?” he asked sincerely.

“Good. I mean, I did just get out of a really messy engagement,” I joked.

He laughed. “Really? Me too.”

We laughed a little more. I loved that he was so easygoing. I loved that I could laugh and just be me with him. I wanted that. Being around him was easy. There was no worry I was going to say the wrong thing or embarrass him.

“I should be getting back,” I said, checking the time. “I’ve been gone over an hour.”

He nodded. “I’ll walk you back.”

“Thank you.”

We strolled along. He never asked whether or not I had made a decision. He never brought up William. Neither did I. I appreciated him for being there and being my friend and reminding me he was around if I needed him. There were no strings attached with him.

I wanted to talk to him about William hounding me for an answer. I liked talking to Harry. Unfortunately, I couldn’t unburden my soul about this particular problem. It wasn’t fair for me to talk to him about how confused I was or how I had feelings for both of them. Harry hadn’t exactly been all that forthcoming about his feelings. I could be making a complete fool of myself. I was wrestling with a decision I might not have even had the luxury of making.

We paused outside the doors to the building.

“Thank you for lunch,” I said.

“Thank you for agreeing to go with me. I had a good time. I miss hanging out with you.”

I smiled. “Me too.”

We both stood there, staring at each other. I could feel so much happening between us, but neither of us spoke. We didn’t need to. There was a lot I wanted to say though.

“Amber, I want to stay friends. I know things are weird right now, and I’m sure William will have something to say about us spending any time together, but if there’s any way at all, I want to. How much does he know about us?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Nothing. He thinks all of it was fake. He knows—” I stopped talking.

“He knows what?”

“He knows that although it was fake, I’m confused.”

“Confused?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“About?”

“You know what.”

“Amber, I don’t want to pressure you. I know you’ve had feelings for William for a while. I’m sorry I complicated everything.”

“It’s okay. You didn’t complicate everything. Well, I mean, you did, but it wasn’t on purpose. It was stupid. It just happened. I don’t think either of us saw it coming,” I said, knowing I was making little sense.

He chuckled. “I feel like we are dancing around something here. Do you want to talk about it? I can pick you up tonight.”

“No. That isn’t a good idea.”

“We could go to a restaurant. No hanky-panky,” he said with a wink.

I laughed. “Well, you and me together, the hanky-panky is hard to avoid.”

That made him laugh. I knew I had inadvertently stroked his ego. My mind flashed to my morning self-pleasuring, and I could feel myself blushing. If the man knew what I had done or had any inkling about the dreams he had given me, things would have been even stranger.

“No pressure. I’ll text you later. If you want to go grab some dinner and talk, we will. If not, I won’t bother you.”

I nodded. “Thank you. You’re not bothering me. I’m glad you came by.”

The urge to kiss him was very strong. I couldn’t. I couldn’t kiss him. He was looking at me with those blue eyes. It was killing me. My heart was torn in two. I had to figure out what I wanted. Harry had never told me how he felt. I hadn’t actually told him how I felt either. We hadn’t talked feelings at all.

“See you later,” I said and headed inside.

I could feel him watching me walk away. I found myself swaying my hips a little more than usual.

“How was your lunch?” William said.

I looked up and found him sitting in my chair behind my desk.

“What are you doing?” I asked, alarmed to see him sitting there.

I quickly glanced around to see if anyone else noticed.

“I came by to see if you wanted to get some lunch. You had already left. That was over an hour ago.”

“Oh, well, lunch took a little longer than I expected. Sorry. Did you need something?”

He stood, straightened his suit jacket, and looked down at me. “No, nothing. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“I’m fine.”

“Well then, I’ll leave you alone.”

He walked past me before he stopped and turned to look at me. “Lunch with Harry?” he whispered.

I sighed. I should have known he would find out. “Yes. It was just lunch. He stopped by, and I accepted his invitation.”

“I thought you ended things with him,” he said.

“It was just lunch.”

He shook his head. “I can’t have you still seeing him if we’re going to be together.”

I sighed. “We’re not together. Not yet.”

The look on his face was telling. He walked into his office and slammed the door. If I didn’t make up my mind soon, the choice was going to be made for me. William was not a man to wait around. He had told me as much.