Shapiro
“Penny?” I pry her from my body. Having her so close after all this has my guilt kicking it up a notch. This morning, the shower … I shouldn’t have gotten this close, but there is something about Penny that draws me to her.
I put up the walls and she breaks them right down. She lets me be me.
“Yeah?”
“Please let me go to the store. I’ll grab you what you need.” I try to barter with her.
“Okay.” She sighs.
“I know you need to get out, but right now, humor me.” I try to reassure her.
“I’ll try.” She smiles, but it doesn’t quite hit her eyes and why should it?
I must find out where Tyler is before I let her leave. Right now, he’s not a wanted man. Her falling down the stairs was an accident.
Yeah, right.
I’m not buying it though. How does a man step over the woman he loves, who is pregnant with his child, just to leave her at the bottom of the staircase … bleeding out?
After what Penny just confessed … he’s a man who will stop at nothing to keep the woman he loves. He’s desperate now and I can’t chance her safety.
“How about a little bake-off?” I try to suggest while guiding her over to the couch.
“Maybe I’ll just take a nap.” Penny falls back into the cushion.
“You just woke up a couple hours ago.” I stand there unsure of what to do.
I’m afraid if I leave, she’ll fall right back to sleep and we’ll fall into the same pattern of the last week. I can’t let her go back to there.
I can’t go back there.
“It’s just a nap.” Penny lies down and reaches for the throw that still lays there, covering herself back up. Her eyes close.
“Penny …”
“Oh!” Her eyes shoot open. “We need flour, eggs, sugar and butter. There’s something else but I can’t …” She worries her bottom lip.
“I’ll figure it out.” I reach for the remote to hand it to her. Maybe if I turn on the television she’ll stay awake till I get back. “I’m pretty sure Mama Ang had the list tattooed to my brain.” I laugh.
“We always went together.” She sighs out.
“Well, she liked you better.” I give her hair a ruffle as I head to the kitchen to grab my keys.
“I’ll lock up from outside,” I holler.
Penny replies by sticking her hand up and giving me a short wave.
Okay then.
Stepping out, I close the door and punch in the code to activate the alarm, locking the deadbolt behind me. But there’s one lock that I can’t bring myself to turn. If I click this into place, I can guarantee she won’t leave, but if something happens … I would have left her locked into a building with no means of communication. And after the story she told me last night, Penny can’t feel like she’s alone. Locking it could cause more harm than good and I can’t be responsible for that.
Backing away from the door, I head down the hall and take the stairs two at a time in a hurry to find a person who can help.
Pushing through the door, I glance at my phone checking out the time. If my calculations are right she is either in the breakroom or the restroom. Cindy, one of Spotlights’ employees, has a strict routine. One she doesn’t stray from.
Peeking my head into the breakroom I see her standing there, tying up her platinum blond hair. Watching her, I try to find the words, but in my head everything I say sounds creepy.
“What?” She turns around. “Do I have something on me?” She begins to swipe at her ass.
“No. I have something. I mean I have a favor to ask of you.” I stumble over my words still searching for the right ones.
“This should be good. I don’t think you have ever asked anyone for anything … like ever.” She reaches into her purse for her phone. “Let me snap a pic to document the moment.” She comes around to stand beside me. “Say cheese.” She extends her arm and I quickly grab her phone.
“I’m serious, Cindy. I don’t have time for this bullshit. I have this girl up in my apartment and if she leaves, I need you to call me. You got it?”
“Depends.” She takes a step back. “You holding her against her will?”
Am I?
“Hell no, but the less you know, the better it is for her.” I hand the phone back and work my way to the door.
“Fine. I’ll call, but if this is your way of finally having a girlfriend. Holding them hostage isn’t the way to woo her,” Cindy calls after me.
“Not my girlfriend.” I raise my phone in the air as I walk away. “Call me,” I holler over my shoulder as I jog to the back.
A part of me wants to run next door and get some of what she needs so I can hurry back, but if I come through those doors empty handed then I’m going to have a bigger problem on my hands. Penny needs baking like she needs air. Everyone has their Kool-Aid and baking is hers.
Reaching in my pocket, I pull out my keys, clicking the lock as I reach my SUV. Jerking the handle open, I notice a piece of paper flapping from the windshield. The wipers securing it in place.
How in the hell did I get a parking ticket in my own parking spot on a private lot? Flipping the wiper up, I grab the paper and climb in, throwing the ticket in the console to take care of on a different day. Right now, I’m mentally trying to make a list of what we need.
Sugar, cocoa, butter, powder sugar, cinnamon, oatmeal, flour, eggs, milk, cream, vanilla.
I know there is something else I’m missing.
Pads.
The trigger for the earlier events and the only reason why I’m getting out in the first place.
“Pads. Pads. Don’t’ forget the pads,” I repeat to myself. Hoping that if I say it enough I won’t forget.
Throwing my phone into the console and the SUV into gear, I begin to pull out when a delivery truck begins to back into the unloading dock by the back door.
Shit!
Pulling over behind the dumpster to give the truck the room they need, I pull out my phone to check any missed messages, but an exposed edge of the ticket catches my eye. Reaching down, I pull the piece of paper and unfold it.
What the fuck?
I can’t believe what I’m seeing.
My breaths come in sharp and uneven as I try to take back control. The words there in front of me.
Taunting.
I KNOW WHERE SHE IS
Five simple words … a warning of what’s to come, but I refuse to let her get hurt again. I will do everything in my power to make sure this doesn’t happen again.
Penny
Why do I keep doing this to myself? One step forward and a gazillion back and each time Shapiro is there ready to hold me back up to start it all over again.
There’s no excuse for what I’m doing. Everything that has led me here, was a choice. It still is. It’s just sometimes, I make the wrong one. Repeatedly.
But now, my hardest decision isn’t what I’m going to do next. Nope. It’s not where am I going to live or how will I provide for myself. It’s simpler than that. What in the world do I want to binge watch next?
It’s all I do. Sleep, eat, watch television, and bake. Speaking of which … where’s Shapiro?
As if on cue, the door swings open and Shapiro comes walking in with another guy behind him. A handsome one if I do say so myself. Tall, slightly tan, built like a bouncer, but whereas Shapiro is thick, this guy is much leaner, but still strong.
“Just set them on the counter, man,” Shapiro orders.
“No problem.” He places them on the island. “This is the most groceries I’ve seen you carry up. Tired of the Spotlight specials?” He seems amused. “Have any more?”
“Nah, Jake. This is it. Thanks.” Shapiro catches my eye and nods to the bag he set off to the side.
The guy whom I’m guessing is Jake, notices Shapiro watching me. His whole face lights up. Darting between the two of us.
“I didn’t know you had a girlfriend. I mean there had been talk …” Jake tries to continue, but Shapiro quickly cuts him off.
“None of your business, Jake.” Shapiro claps him on the back. “Thanks again for helping me up.” He guides him, moving with Jake toward the door.
Shapiro whispers something to him as they walk to the door and Jake just nods.
“See you tonight,” Jake says before he heads out and Shapiro makes sure to set the alarm.
Following Shapiro into the kitchen, I go through the bags, my eyes gleaming at all the ingredients he bought.
“Wow! You really did remember her lists.” I start to pull out and mentally take inventory of the ingredients before I help put them up in the pantry.
“Yeah, once I was there, it was like muscle memory. Items just started falling into my cart.” Shapiro laughs.
“Is the stuff …” I nod toward the bag off to the side.
“Yeah. I … um … wasn’t sure exactly what you needed so I got you a few different ones,” he admits, blushing.
I guess even with having four sisters, it’s hard to bring a girl who is staying in your apartment, pads. Pulling them out, I wish I would have waited.
“There’s some for heavy flow and liners for the occasional spotting.” He peeks inside the bag. “And err … um tampons for when you can use those again. I mean if you ever did.” Shapiro runs a palm down his face. “Fuck.”
“It’s okay. I really appreciate it.” I pull out the rest of the items when I notice a small plastic bag tucked inside the paper one. “What’s this?”
“Just something for the occasion.”
“The occasion?” I repeat.
“Well, yeah. I wasn’t sure what to get. I know it’s not your time, but chocolate makes everyone feel better right?” Shapiro shoots me a lopsided grin and I’ll be damned if it wasn’t the cutest thing ever.
Digging through the bag, I pull out a variety of chocolates. White, dark, milk, truffles, hazelnut, peanut butter … whatever I could possible want, it’s in there.
“I also picked you up something else.” He digs through the last bag. “Here it is,” he says as he tosses me a package.
“What’s this?” I flip it over, the front clear. “Gingerbread house cupcake wrappers.”
“They were on clearance, but they reminded me of you and when I dropped you off.” He leans his back against the counter as he watches me.
“I don’t know what to say.” I fiddle the wrappers between my fingers.
“You don’t have to say anything.” He reaches out for my hands. Holding both of mine in his, the wrappers still. “You were on my mind and I thought maybe if they could make you smile, then they would be well worth the purchase.” He gives my hands a little squeeze before he lets go and I can’t help but want his touch back.
My eyes dart up to his. Is this guy for real? Tyler never would have done something like this. He showered me with gifts, but they were so impersonal. This? It’s simple and totally me.
“Thank you.” My mouth turns up. A slow smile spreads across my face. “Thank you for last night. Thank you for listening today and thank you for going to the store.” I pause while I peer up at the man who has gone above and beyond for me. “Thank you for being you.”
Clearing his throat, he reaches in the bag one more time. This time his smirk a little more wicked.
“What do you have?” I stand on my tiptoes trying to peer over his shoulder.
“I was going to save these for another time, but since wrappers got me that …” He holds his hands behind his back. “I wondered what these.” Shapiro brings a hand forward and opens.
“Rainbow sprinkles!” I shout.
“And these …” He brings his other hand forward and opens.
“Chocolate sprinkles!” I begin to clap wildly and bounce up and down.
“You like?”
“I do!” I jump into his arms, wrapping mine around his neck and shout, “I love them!”
“I was hoping so,” he replies as we both stand there. Our arms tangled around each other.
That’s the thing about hugs. When do you break? When does it go from appropriate to inappropriate? When does it go from friendship to crossing the line because right now? I feel like I’m crossing. Especially since I just want to push him back on the counter and climb his body. Feel every hard ridge pressed up against me.
It’s only been a week since I left the hospital and even if I wanted to act out whatever fantasy my brain conjures up, I couldn’t.