Penny
Tilting my head to the sky, I breathe in the city air. Coffee, donuts and car fumes.
“Don’t you love this.” I spin around, breathing in the fresh air and soaking up the sun. “It’s amazing.”
“I don’t know. People seem preoccupied. On their phones. Ignoring life.” Nina glances around. “See, look at that lady. She’s on her phone while her daughter is tugging at her dress to show her something.” She shakes her head. “It’s just sad how preoccupied people are.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” Jen chimes in.
“So where is this place?” I look up at the signs that line the awning.
“Four more down.” Jen squeals. “Aren’t you excited, Penny.”
“I am!” I holler as I lace my arms around each of theirs, interlocking them.
“Yellow brick road time?” Nina asks
“Yellow brick road time,” I agree.
And together we skip down the rest of the sidewalk to Tip-Top-Tease where Jen breaks away first to make sure she gets to claim her favorite stylist, Dante.
Pushing our way through the doors a bright haired girl comes bouncing toward us. “You must be the other two.” She points to Jen with clippers in her hand. “Welcome. Are you prepared to get teased?” She gives us an over exaggerated wink.
“Of course.” Nina hands her a credit card. “I’ve got this.”
“Nina! I didn’t even think.”
“Calm down. Shapiro is treating today. It’s his way of saying sorry.”
“I hate that he has to spend all his money on me. I’ve been more trouble than what I’m worth.”
Reaching over, she places her hand over mine. “You are worth it. Every Penny.” Her eyes go wide. “Did you get that. You’re worth every Penny, Penny.”
“Only you, Nina. Only you.”
“What are you guys waiting for? Your thrones await.” Jen waves her hands around like she’s Vanna White on Wheel of Fortune.
“Come on! Let’s get you teased.” Nina gives me a little nudge.
After picking out polish and grabbing a drink, we walk over to our stations to settle in.
“You must be Penny, our guest of honor”?” A petite ginger sits down in front of me, examining the colors I picked out.
“I guess I am.”
“Well, I’m Christy, your stylist for the day.” She leans in to whisper as she’s taking off my flip-flops. “I can’t wait for you to see what I have picked out. This color will look fabulous with them.” She winks as she puts my feet into the jets of warm soapy water.
“Oh my!”
“If you think this is amazing, just wait.” She pulls a foot out and begins clipping, filing, scraping … it’s everything.
I’m not sure why I have never indulged before, but now that I have, I need this in my life.
“I told you.” Jen peeks over to see what Christy is doing. “Magic hands, right?”
“Totally magic,” I agree.
“Best thing ever,” Nina mumbles as she turns on the seat massager. “Penny, try this out.”
“Here, let me help you.” Christy comes around and hands me the remote. Explaining the directions. “The up arrow, increases. The down slows it down. I suggest going easy and work your way up to see what you like.”
“Thanks.”
She powers it on. “Ohhhh,” I moan.
“Remind me to thank Shapiro. I may be too relaxed to remember.” I turn my head to the side. “This is beyond anything I have ever experienced.”
Nina waggles her eyebrows.
“Not like that!” I gasp.
“I didn’t say a word.” Her smile relaxes. “That was all you.”
I would like to give him more, but how much, and if I did would he want it?
“Stop doing that.” Nina reaches over to pinch my arm. “You’re worrying for no reason.”
“I can’t help it. I have all these feelings going on.”
“Feelings suck.” Jen leans forward to give her two cents and then goes back to chitchatting with Dante.
“Listen, Penny.” Nina reaches for my hand and gives it a tiny squeeze. “I’ve been where you are. It’s okay to feel something.”
“Is it? Because I’m not sure.” I tug my hand free, folding them in my lap. “I was with Tyler for five years. I only left because you helped me and even then, I went back. It’s only been weeks since …”
Nina and I look at each other knowing there are prying ears around us. As nice as the employees of Tip-Top-Tease are, I still don’t want them knowing my business.
“I’ll be right back with the wax.” Christy gives Nina’s technician a look and they head to the back.
“You stayed because you thought you could save him, and he stayed because you were his habit. I get it. I’ve been there.” Nina looks down rolling her thumbs together.
I know this isn’t easy for her. What she endured was so much more.
“Sometimes it’s easier to stay than it is to leave.” She turns in her seat to look at me. “What you are doing now is brave. You’re a fighter.”
“I don’t feel that way sometimes,” I confess.
“I know. It will come. Trust me.”
We both sit there. Looking at each other. We both have been to hell and back and managed to survive. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I am a fighter. Being locked up day after day isn’t being a coward. It’s believing that I can do this.
“Hey …” She reaches over and slaps my hand. “As far as Shapiro goes, he cares about you.”
“Mama Ang gave us this bond.”
She was our saving grace. No one knew her like he did and the time that I shared with her was just as special.
“It’s more than that. Look around.” We both scan the room. She continues, “He is trying to help you, see.”
“See what?”
I want to know the answer. I really do, but if I allow myself to know, will I be disappointed?
“That it’s okay to be okay,” Nina says confidently. “That man adores you. You can see it in the way he protects you.”
“I guess.”
Last night, the contract with Spotlight and now this … It’s starting to happen. I’m getting my life back.
“You don’t see it because you don’t want to. What you’re doing, isn’t wrong, and it isn’t too soon. Everyone’s wounds are different, Penny. We heal at different speeds. I should know.”
She’s right. I shouldn’t live my life based on the standards of others. This is my time. My life to live. I just need to make sure I embrace it.
“Girl, you have pulled off every outfit I have picked out for you,” Christy says as she turns me around to look in the mirror.
“Wow. I’ve put on a little weight.”
I’m not complaining. I was always considered underweight. Tyler wanted me a certain size and I watched my diet. Even when I was pregnant I made sure to eat extra healthy. Not so much for me, but for the baby.
Eyes are bright, the dark circles gone, cheeks full. My breasts finally fill my bra and my shorts don’t gap at the waist. I look good, happy.
“A little in all the right places,” Christy agrees, standing behind me. A quick tug of the straps has the summer dress fitting perfectly. “There, now they are all tucked in.”
“This is just … wow!” I begin to twirl.
“Look at you.” Nina walks in.
“Glowing.” Jen follows.
“I love it.” I begin to worry my bottom lip. “I just don’t know which one to choose.”
“You don’t have to.” The bright hair girl comes strolling in with bags in her hands. “He bought them all.”
“He what?” I spin around mouth agape.
“I have all the outfits you tried on, plus the one you wore here.” She sets the bags down by Nina. “Looks like you are wearing this home.” She nods toward my dress.
“I can’t.”
“Yes, you can. You deserve this.” Nina comes over to stand by me.
Turning to look in the mirror with Nina behind me, she pulls up my hair. “This is who you are, Penny Reed. Embrace it.”
She’s right. I don’t have to live in the shadow I once was. This is my new beginning and it’s time to find out who I’m meant to become.