Penny
It’s not at all what I expected. When he led me downstairs, I figured it was a trip to the store. Maybe a walk to get some fresh air. But I didn’t expect this. Standing in the middle of Spotlight’s commercial kitchen, I’m shocked into silence. It’s incredible. Mama Ang had a nice kitchen, but this is something else. It looks like no expense was spared.
Turning slow circles, my eyes dart from the quadruple ovens to the pair of side by side stainless refrigerators and finally resting on the endless counter of shiny metal.
I feel Shapiro’s eyes on me.
“Are you serious? I get to use all this to bake?”
“Yes, you really do.” He comes up to stand beside me. “Keeping you locked up all day, every day wasn’t fair, and I never once took it into consideration that maybe you just needed some place to go. That maybe you needed your Kool-Aid.”
“Shapiro, this means the world to me.”
I continue to walk through the kitchen, touching cool metal counters as I go.
“I have something else for you.” He smirks.
“More surprises? You really know how to spoil a girl.” I find my way over to him and hold out my hands. “Whatcha got?”
“Well, it’s just a little something that I got from Mama Ang’s lawyer.”
I drop my hands.
“Oh? Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine, but it did take me a while to find one of these.” Shapiro scans the room. “Shit! I forgot it in the office … just a second.”
He jogs down the hall and is back in a matter of seconds. Holding something behind his back.
“What are you hiding back there?” I stand on the tips of my toes trying to peer over his shoulder. “Come on let me see?” I beg.
“Okay fine.” He chuckles and whips a cassette player from behind his back.
“Is that what I think it is?”
“It is.” He presses the eject button and inserts the tape. “Mama Ang left you her cassette player and her baking mixed tape.”
“You mean the one she listened to every single day?”
“Lord help us.” He folds his hands together and raises them high. “It is.”
“Shapiro, how am I ever going to thank you? This means so much to me?”
Every time we baked, Mama Ang had this on. Dancing, singing, baking … it was our thing.
“No time to get sappy, we only have the kitchen for a couple hours. Time to get to work, I’m starving.”
“Well, okay then, I don’t know what to bake first. Any suggestions?” I ask as I start to flip through recipes. “Maybe a Danish or croissant?”
“I’m sure whatever you want to make will be fine.” Shapiro tries to reassure me.
“You know what? Two hours is not a lot of time. So, muffins it is. It takes the same base. Just need to switch up …” I look over to Shapiro, as I was trying to continue, but he seems like he doesn’t even care.
“I lost you, didn’t I?” I ask. Hand on a hip and spatula in hand.
“Not a chance.”
“I have chocolate chips, blueberries, pumpkin and some others I will mix in and, of course, add a little fresh fruit and add a little crumb topping. Oh my gosh.” I clap my hands together. “This is so amazing.”
“Well, get to it.” He grins as he reaches over and smacks my backside with a rag.
I can’t help it. This right here, makes up for all the weeks of silence, for all the cancellations in Grey’s Anatomy, for the lock on the door. This. Is. Everything.
“Shapiro.” I turn to him once again.
I must let him know what this means. After everything that has happened. I need him to know.
“This means the world to me. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he replies.
“Let me finish. Just an hour ago, I was upstairs, acting like the rug has been pulled out from under me and I didn’t know where my next breath was going to come from. But you listened to what I needed and you gave me … my Kool-Aid.”
“Well, you better hurry up and drink it because the time is ticking.” Shapiro pulls himself up on the counter and grins.
Shapiro
Penny is giving me more credit than I deserve. If I was truly paying attention, I would have arranged this weeks ago when I saw her slipping.
Instead, it took me walking, into the apartment to find Penny, curled in a ball, in the middle of the kitchen floor, losing her shit to make me realize what I’d been doing.
I did that. I’m the fucking bastard who let her get that way. Ignoring her pleas. Ignoring that kiss.
The kiss.
She remembered. She fucking remembered. I saw it in her face when she strolled out of bed. Feeling like hell and still looking beautiful.
Those eyes. Those lips.
I had to stay away from her. If I let that happen again … I would lose all resolve. Hell, I was barely hanging on as is.
I should have stayed. I should have taken her outside. Instead I kept her a prisoner. I’m no better than the man she was running from.
Fuck!
I have to let all that go and move forward. She is right. If she is going to heal, she must do it her way. On her time. I just need to make sure I give her enough room to do it. Trust goes both ways.
Now here we are. Fast forward a couple hours. Instead of seeing her curled up on the floor, she’s dancing around the kitchen to the mix tape, singing along with the music, baking the recipes that Mama Ang taught her to make and I can’t help but pull myself up on the counter sit and watch her do it all.
“Are you just going to stand over there and watch or do you want to help?”
“I think I’m good right here. I’m enjoying my view.” I wink.
She blushes.
I like it.
Seeing her like this—hair pinned to the top of her head, flour flying in the air from the professional mixer, dancing around the kitchen, singing along to the same songs that Mama Ang called her baking music—brings me back to when I was younger, standing in Mama Ang’s kitchen.
“Come here, Frances.” Mama Ang holds out her arms doing some kind of cha-cha-cha.
I hop onto the counter. “I’m good right here.” I grab an apple out of the basket. Taking a bite.
“Nonsense.” She dances her way in front of me. “How are you ever going to learn to treat a lady if you can’t even twirl her?”
She counts her steps as she dances to the music.
“It’s all in here.” She pats her chest. “Let the music become you.”
“I think I have it covered, Mama Ang.” I take the last bite and hop down. “Haven’t had a problem getting a girl yet.” I wink, throwing the core away.
“Frances Eugene, it’s not about getting a girl, it’s about keeping her.” She reaches out for my hand and pulls me to her. “Now this hand goes here.” She places one on her hip. “And this one here.” She holds out her palm for me to take it.
“Nothing weird about this at all.” I roll my eyes.
“Boy, if you roll your eyes again, Mama Ang will poke ’em right out.” She lets go only to smack my chest.
“Understood.” I bite the inside of my cheek trying to choke down a laugh.
“This is the best advice anyone is about to give you. You understand?”
I nod.
“Frances …” she scolds.
“Yes, ma’am.” I give her a tight smile.
“Twirl her till she falls in love.”
“Is this like how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop kinda thing?” I throw my head back. Amused at myself.
“One twirl, you make her smile.” Mama Ang nudges me. “Go on, dear. Twirl me.”
So I do.
“Two twirls, you make her feel like she is the only one in the room.” She gives me a stern look.
So I twirl.
“But three twirls …” Mama Ang smiles with a gleam in her eye. “Three twirls you make them dizzy.”
“You want me to make her sick?”
Palming her forehead. “No, Frances. Twirl me, dammit.”
So I do, and Mama Ang comes falling into my arms. Looking up at me like she just gave me her secret family recipe.
“Three twirls makes them dizzy with love. Waiting on you to make the forever move.”
“A kiss?”
“A kiss.”
“It’s really that simple?” I peer down at her.
“Try it someday and you will see.” She pats my chest. “Help your Mama Ang up. My back isn’t what it used to be.”
“Sure thing.” I place my hand on her lower back and help her up.
“Thank you, Frances. You were always my fav.” She giggles out as I twirl her one last time.
Smile.
“Okay, Mama Ang. Point made.”
Hearing the music, seeing Penny dance around the kitchen, in her element. Smiling. I couldn’t help but remember that time.
I’ve never tried, nor have I ever wanted to … until now.
Penny is so many things, but the one I keep coming back to, the one that scares me the most, is … home.
“Honey, ah sugar sugar.” Penny sings while she dances her way back from the oven. “You are my candy girl.”
Maybe she’s right? Maybe this is the time to try the twirl.
Hopping down off the counter I catch Penny from behind and she yelps.
“And you’ve got me wanting you.”
She relaxes as I take her by the hands, dance her around the room, singing her song with her.
“Sugar. Ah, honey honey … you are my candy girl.”
She twirls.
She smiles.
She twirls again.
And something changes. The look she is giving me begs to be twirled again … but I don’t. Not yet.
“That was so much fun! Best night EVER!” She throws her head back and screams it out.
“We better get cleaning up. Save a twirl for me.” I wink.
“Anytime.” She smiles.
Her hidden smile is like a rare gem, precious and pure … everything I’m not.
Maybe Mama Ang was right. Three twirls to forever.