CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT
I was able to get a jet to come back for us in the evening. Seth returned the car he had rented to its owner and we took a taxi to the airport. We slept for much of the flight, then woke fatigued and groggy, too spent to discuss anything of importance.
By the time we arrived in Chicago, it was nine in the morning, a different day from the one we’d left in Kabul. The time warp messed with my head, and we went to my house to recuperate.
A few hours later and we were both still in bed, an agreed upon “cat nap” being what we figured the doctor would order.
I jerked and woke at someone knocking and quickly rolled out of bed. Seth still slept. Eager to get to the front door before the visitor woke him up, I shut the bedroom door softly and hurried down the stairs.
I’d called London on our way home from the airport, and she was supposed to bring Starlet over some time that afternoon. Thinking it was my friend, I opened the door without looking through the peephole first.
Standing on the front porch was Colin Allman.
“Oh,” I said in a small voice. I reached up and touched my hair, feeling for any signs of a rat’s nest. Then I remembered that I didn’t even like the man in front of me and my hand fell to my side.
“Hello.” Colin cleared his throat. “I hope I’m not, uh… I hope this isn’t a bad time.”
“How did you find out where I live?”
He looked self-conscious. “It was online.”
“Ah.”
I placed my hand against the doorjamb and listened for sounds of movement upstairs. After everything Seth had been through, the last thing he needed was to see his father. The man standing in front of me was, in my opinion, responsible for Seth going back to Afghanistan. It was his fault Seth put himself in danger, his fault Seth had lived the last four years steeped in guilt.
“What do you want?” I asked, trying to keep the coldness at least semi in check, but failing.
“To apologize.”
My shoulders relaxed just a little. “Really?”
Colin ran his hand against the back of his head. “If Seth went to Afghanistan, it’s my fault.” He looked me straight in the eyes, his blue irises revealing a new depth, one that reminded me of Seth more than any other trait the two men shared.
I couldn’t agree more, and I waited, curious to see if he would say anything else.
“I wish I could tell him that, but you were right… I tried to call him, and he’s missing.”
I bit my tongue when anger flared in my chest. I had no need for any more drama, and Colin showing up to speak to me was probably a big deal for him. It also showed he really did care about Seth.
“He’s back,” I said.
Colin started. “He’s back?”
“Yeah, he’s upstairs sleeping.”
His eyes widened slightly. “Where was he?”
“Afghanistan.”
A heavy silence followed. I didn’t have to tell Colin what his son had been up to. The way each muscle in his face fell, the way his shoulders hung, told me he already knew what Seth had gone to Kabul for. Had he put the idea in Seth’s head? Had Colin suggested the men who killed his daughter needed to be taken care of?
The thought of such a conversation made me shudder.
“Maybe you should tell him this yourself,” I suggested.
Colin tensed and shook his head. “He doesn’t want to see me. I’m glad he’s back, but he doesn’t want to see me. Did he...” He looked at me warily.
“He went there for revenge, but he didn’t get it. He changed his mind.”
Something happened to Colin then. Something flashed in his eyes, like some realization came over him.
“Dad?”
We both jumped at the sound of Seth’s voice. He came down the stairs, looking expectantly between me and his father.
I stepped back from the door.
“Would you like to come in?” I asked Colin.
He hesitated. We both looked at Seth.
Hesitantly, Seth nodded. “Yeah. Come in.”
Colin shuffled in, looking around himself uncertainly.
“How about coffee?” I suggested.
“I can make a pot,” Seth answered.
“I, uh, I think I’ll go and pick up Starlet now.” I locked eyes with Seth. “I’ll be back in an hour or two.”
His mouth tightened slightly, but he nodded, seeming to be okay with my departure.
He and his father went into the kitchen, and I ran upstairs to change. Thinking I would give the men some extra time to talk things through, I put on leggings, a spandex tank top, and running shoes. A jog with Starlet would be good for both of us. Some exercise would cleanse me of this stress and Starlet the extra calories she always piled on at London’s. London liked to give her table scraps, next to nothing being off limits.
Back downstairs, muffled voices came from the kitchen. I tried not to eavesdrop, grabbed my keys and booked it out of there.
Chicago bathed in afternoon light looked different somehow. Maybe I was experiencing a reverse kind of culture shock after being in Afghanistan. Driving along my neighborhood’s tree-lined streets, I had trouble comprehending even the simplest sights. A woman pushing a jogging stroller. Teenagers on bikes. An old man tinkering around in his front garden.
London answered her door with wide eyes. “You’re alive!”
“Barely.”
Little nails clacked against the linoleum and Starlet appeared from around the corner.
“Starlet!” I fell to my knees. The pug ran into my open arms, and I lifted her up and nuzzled my face into her fur. “I thought I would never see you again.” My voice cracked, taking me dangerously close to a sob.
“What?” London questioned.
I pushed back the tears and stood up, Starlet still enclosed in my arms. “A lot happened. I need some time away from my house. Do you want to go do something?”
I clipped on Starlet’s leash, and we went to the Chicago Lakefront trail. As we walked around the coast of Lake Michigan, I filled London in on everything that had happened from the time I got off the jet in Kabul until I got back on it and flew home.
She listened quietly, absorbing it all.
When I finally finished the story, I turned to her. “Well?”
“I think,” she said with her eyes huge. “I think you must be bullshitting.”
“Excuse me? Look at me.”
She did.
“Since when do I spin yarns? Why the hell would I lie about getting kidnapped at gun point?”
“Touché. And I’m not going to say I told you so.”
“Huh?”
“I told you not to go.”
“I found Seth, didn’t I?”
“It sounds like he was about to come home on his own.”
I looked away. “Yeah, that’s true.”
“So what now?”
“What do you mean?”
“You and Seth. You’re together officially, right? So, is he the one?”
I laughed, but the chuckle soon died. “I’ve never thought of it that way.”
“What does he think?”
I shook my head and wound Starlet’s leash a little tighter around my hand. “It’s not the right time to talk about that. His dad is at my house now, discussing… I imagine they’re discussing everything that’s happened between them. At least I hope that’s what’s going on.”
“It’s crazy,” she muttered.
“Yeah, tell me about it.”
“What do you want?”
I blinked at her in confusion. “You’re still talking about Seth?”
She shrugged a shoulder. “Yeah, I mean, I guess I just can’t stop thinking about stuff like… you know, long-term stuff. Maybe it’s because Heather’s having a baby and all, and you’ve got a boyfriend, which I did not see coming.”
I laughed. “Neither did I.”
“And I don’t have any of that.”
“Hey.” I stopped walking to look at her straight on. “You’ll get those things if it’s what you want.”
London stopped walking as well and nodded, but there was something sad about it, like maybe she doubted my words.
“Do you want kids?” she asked.
“Wow… I don’t know... I don’t think so. But maybe… should Seth and I talk about that?”
“Usually people talk about those kinds of things when they’re dating. You know, where they’re going to live and how they’re going to live, not just when it comes to kids.”
“Do you think it’s too early for me and Seth to do that?”
Her mouth twisted. “It’s up to you.” She grinned. “Maybe we should just forget about it.”
“No, you’ve given me something to think about.” I looked down, watching the pavement as I passed over it in my running shoes.
We walked nearly four miles of the trail, looping back when it started getting dark. I dropped London off at her place and took off back to my house. I hadn’t heard from Seth and wondered just how things had gone with his dad.
Starlet rode in her usual spot, standing up on her hind legs and pressing her nose against the window. I scratched her ear at every stoplight, not able to stop touching or grinning at her. Being away from home, coming so close to not even coming home, made me appreciate even the smallest things, like walking with my friend and taking a car ride with my dog.
I hoped I never stopped being grateful for it all.
The front porch light was on, and no cars were in the drive. I parked in my usual spot and went into the house.
“Seth?” I called, bending down to unhook Starlet’s leash. She ran for the kitchen, probably going to check her food bowl for treats. My footsteps echoed through the hall as I followed the little dog. The kitchen was dark, beyond it the patio floodlights illuminating the yard. The pool was empty, the patio chairs the same.
“Seth?” I called, a little louder this time. I headed for the stairs, taking them two at a time. “Are you here?”
I pushed my bedroom door open. No Seth. The guest bedrooms, bathrooms, and office were empty as well. I jogged back downstairs to retrieve my phone from my purse. If he was going to take off, wouldn’t he call me first?
My heart rate picking up, I pulled the phone out. No missed calls. No voicemails. No text messages. I pulled up Seth’s text message thread, just to check in case a text had somehow evaded me.
But there was nothing.
A sick feeling filled my stomach.
What was the last thing he had said to me before I went to London’s? I couldn’t remember, but things had seemed fine. I’d been under the impression that Seth would be there when I got back, hoped that he’d be feeling good and invigorated by his conversation with his dad.
Now suddenly I was having a big wave of deja vu. It was like Afghanistan all over again.
No. It’s not Afghanistan. Calm down, Quinn.
I hit Seth’s name and called his phone, standing breathlessly in the hall as it rang. Each ring made me more and more nervous. When the voicemail picked up, I disconnected.
I needed to relax. Maybe he went home for a little while to shower and change. Yes, that was probably it. He’d gone home for a bit to shower and just hadn’t thought to call me. He would be back any minute.