CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Pulling my sleeping mask off, I rolled over in bed and grabbed my cell phone from its charger.
Finally. Saturday morning.
I hadn’t been able to see Seth all week. Between my ongoing project for Stafford Scientific, the new, smaller jobs coming in, and making sure everything was covered while one of the consultants took paternal leave, I was booked solid nearly every hour of the day. Even finding time to make it to the gym became difficult. I toyed with the idea of sending Stephanie out to get a folding stationary bike to keep in my office closet and use in snippets of spare time.
Seth and I texted throughout the week, sharing pictures and videos. His days seemed to revolve around a schedule that included working out and reading. The last one had initially come as a surprise, considering when we met he hadn’t exactly come across as an intellectual. When it came to literature, though, Seth had it down. He had a library in his place, each wall packed with bookshelves.
I felt bad about having such little free time, but I couldn’t be apologetic. I hadn’t made it to where I was in life because of empty stretches. I made big plans, and I worked, making sure each step I took had a purpose. There were still many more miles to go, and that meant working irregular hours until things smoothed out.
I couldn’t help but feel odd about the strong juxtaposition of my career and Seth’s, though. Until he got called to active duty, Seth had explained, he basically went to occasional training and waited around.
Active duty.
I didn’t like to think about that. I’d never been close to anyone in the military before, so didn’t know what it was like when they went away. My imagination told me it wasn’t exactly a picnic. Seth and I hadn’t talked about his one day being called to duty, but if and when he left, it could be for a long time. Maybe years.
The thought left a bitter taste on my tongue. I was proud of Seth for committing to such a worthy purpose, but the idea of his disappearing for months or years…
He’d only just entered my life. I’d only just decided to throw caution to the wind and let myself get attached. Him being shipped off would be nothing short of cruel irony.
So I just wouldn’t think about that. I needed to focus on life here and now. Which was big and new for me, but hey, there’s a first time for everything.
Starlet, sensing I’d woken, jumped up on the bed and licked my arm.
“In a minute,” I promised her. “I’ll let you out soon.”
I’d got in from the office at midnight and slept in till nine. Seth and I had plans to take Starlet to the park, though we hadn’t confirmed a time.
I sent him a quick text asking about estimated time then opened my Facebook app and scrolled through the news feed. About two dozen pictures of my mother’s vegetable garden populated the feed, each one granting a different angle of cherry tomatoes or ripe watermelons.
“Geez, Mom.” I laughed under my breath. “Get that shit under control.”
I liked one of the photos but ignored the rest, thinking maybe she’d get the message and at least cut the photo count in half next time.
A text from Seth popped up at the top of my screen. I’m going to have to cancel today, sorry. My dad unexpectedly came to town. I need to spend the weekend with him.
I stared at the message, my heart sinking into my gut. All week long I’d looked forward to spending time with Seth. Especially thanks to him saying he was falling for me. And now we were finally at the weekend, and he was basically bailing out.
Seth hadn’t shared anything about his dad other than the quick explanation of the falling out with Seth’s grandfather, so I didn’t know what their relationship was like. When my parents were in town, I spent all the time I could with them. I wanted to, plus it was the thing to do.
I was mostly just disappointed in myself. After Seth’s confession the week before, I stepped into the fray of romance like I never had. I said things to myself like “everything will work out” and “maybe I’m ready for something real,” things that Quinn Laurent would never, ever, ever say.
And now, faced with the prospect of another week away from Seth, my heart stung with pain.
It wasn’t his fault. And it wasn’t a big deal.
It was just weird to find myself in such a fragile position, a place where something as small as a canceled day together made me want to cry. I was back in junior high, feeling the sting of disappointment over not being picked to be hall monitor. I was literally a little kid again.
“Relax,” I told myself, typing out a response. Okay. Have fun with your dad. I’m sorry I’ve been so busy this last week. It doesn’t look like next week will be any different. Maybe we can have dinner tomorrow night?
There. That was more like me, dealing with things in a practical manner. I climbed out of bed and stretched. My phone buzzed.
I’ll try to. We’ll see.
My nose wrinkled in distaste. Was Seth pushing me to the side?
No. His dad was in town. He was busy.
And I was a paranoid, love-struck buffoon.
One who needed to find something to do with her day. After pushing hard all week to get my work done so I could spend time with Seth, his text left a gaping hole in my Saturday.
As it turned out, I had more than enough activities to occupy my time. After catching up on work emails and the light housework that couldn’t wait till my cleaner came on Monday, I hit the gym. A long swim in the pool and dropping off some dresses at the dry cleaners made the day soar by.
Heather’s invitation to see the new dystopian teen film came right on time. I found her in the movie theater lobby at seven, her whole arm eagerly waving me over.
“Where’s hubby?” I asked, after managing to survive the journey through a sea of teenagers.
“Getting popcorn. Where’s your new boyfriend? I’m surprised you came without him. Rory told me...”
I laughed. “Yeah, I bet she did.”
“You don’t know what I was going to say!”
“I think I can guess.”
“She said you’re falling in love.” Heather’s eyes danced.
“Yeah.” I sighed. “I think I am.”
“You don’t have to sound so depressed about it.”
“It’s hard.”
Her nose wrinkled. “What do you mean?”
“Hey, what’s up?” Dan interrupted out of nowhere.
“Hi, Dan.” I shot Heather a don’t-share-what-we-were-talking-about look. “How are you?”
Heather’s husband shifted a huge tub of popcorn so he could dig in his pocket for tickets. “Pretty good.”
Dan was a nice guy, and he could possibly be in possession of some good advice when it came to men issues, but I didn’t like sharing my business with other people. Outside of my group of best friends, I pretty much kept things mum.
Then again, for all I knew Heather went home at the end of every day and told her partner everything she knew about me, London, and Rory.
We navigated our way into the packed theater and managed to score three seats next to each other right in the middle. The trailers came on, and I felt a little better. It had been months since I visited a movie theater, though going out to them was one of my favorite things to do in high school. It had been the reward I gave myself after finishing a week of schoolwork. Each Sunday afternoon my sister and I would walk down to the old-timey movie theater five blocks from our house and see whatever film they had playing on their one screen.
A few minutes into the movie, right in the middle of a gigantic monologue by the main character, my phone beeped.
“Shit,” I hissed under my breath.
Sending an apologetic look toward Heather, I dove my hand into my purse to find the phone. My fingers skimmed over a lipstick tube, a few loose bobby pins, my sunglasses case… no phone.
I needed to seriously think about downsizing bags. Did I really need to carry a can of hairspray around anyway?
The phone beeped again. Someone behind me made a shushing noise.
“I’m trying,” I whispered loudly, desperately tearing my bag apart. The music swelled as the scene changed. Still no luck.
I stood, ducking low as I booked it for the exit. Out in the bright hallway. I finally found my phone slipped into one of the inner side pockets. After turning the volume to silent, I peeked to see who had texted. Maybe it was Seth, hitting me up to let me know his dad had left town early. A fantasy of meeting up after the movie filled my head.
But it wasn’t him. The text was from Rory. So, I just got to work, and Seth is sitting at the bar. Didn’t you say his dad was visiting?
I stared at the text. Yeah, his dad was visiting… so maybe they were meeting at Reparations, the sports bar Rory worked at a few nights a week.
Right?
Not having the patience to go through with a whole conversation in text, I hit the call button on the off chance that Rory could talk.
“Hey,” she answered.
“Hi. So… Seth’s there? Did you say hi?”
“No,” she said in a low voice. “I don’t think he recognizes me. He looks preoccupied. I’m in the storage room now getting cocktail sauce.”
“How could he not recognize you? He saw you at the gallery. And preoccupied? What do you mean? What is he doing? He’s alone?”
“Whoa, calm down there, cow girl. Rein it in. Are you all right?”
“Yeah,” I sighed, leaning against the wall. Booms sounded from the theater behind me. “I’m fine. That’s weird that he didn’t recognize you. He was at your gallery opening.”
“So you’ve pointed out. I don’t think he and I have ever talked, though, and like I said, he looks busy. He’s just sitting there staring into his drink.”
“Well, his dad must be coming to meet him there.”
“Yeah...”
Her tone of voice got me. “Yeah, what?”
“Okay, well, I just got here, but I asked the other bartender, and she said Seth’s been sitting there for two hours.”
I scoffed. “What? Are you sure?”
Rory’s voice grew even softer. “Is he okay? Did he say anything...”
“I don’t know. He just texted this morning, canceling our plans for the day. We didn’t even talk on the phone.” I remembered the terse quality of his last text.
“It’s probably nothing,” Rory assured me.
“Don’t do that.” Anger rose into my chest, and my face got hot, though it wasn’t her I was pissed at. Or maybe even Seth. It was the whole situation. It was falling for a guy and getting my hopes up for a weekend together, only to find myself at the movies with a married couple while said guy sat in a bar without me.
Where was the justice in that?
“I didn’t mean to suggest anything, Quinn. I’m sorry.”
I rubbed my face, remembered I hadn’t put on any makeup — something I hadn’t done in months. Why had I left the house with a bare face? Because I wouldn’t be seeing Seth, and therefore felt no need to look good? Since when did looking nice become about someone else?
“No, I’m sorry. I’m snapping at you. Just… will you text me again and let me know what happens? Let me know if someone comes to meet him.”
“Yeah, I will. Have a good night.”
“You too.”
I went back into the theater and tried to enjoy a movie I’d already missed the first ten minutes of, my phone on vibrate so I would know if I got a text. When it buzzed against my thigh, I opened my purse just enough so I could read the phone’s screen. Rory had texted He left. No one showed up.
An iron fist clamped down on my heart. Seth left. But where did he go?
If he had time to sit around in a bar without his dad, didn’t he have time to meet up with me, if only for a little bit? I’d put the whole day aside for him. The whole weekend.
Was I asking for too much? Perhaps something I didn’t know about was going on.
Maybe his dad’s not in town at all.
The giant screen in front of me blurred. Had Seth lied to me? Did he just not want to see me?
Could he — I could barely even think about it, but it seemed fair — be pulling a Quinn Laurent? Getting close and letting loose for a week or two, then pulling away when the relationship was taking a turn toward long term? I’d done it to more than one man, on account of not having the need or desire for anything even resembling a serious relationship.
Now it had been done to me.
I’d never told someone I was “falling for them,” though, then fled. I’d never stooped that low. A sick choking sound escaped my throat.
Heather turned her head to look at me. I couldn’t meet her eyes. Instead, I pointed at the exit and fled.
This time she followed.
“What’s going on?” she asked as the heavy door to the theater closed behind us.
I spun around on my heel to face her. “I think Seth’s seeing someone else.”
Heather gazed evenly at me, her face much calmer than I would have liked. “Have you guys talked about being exclusive?”
That halted me. “No, but...”
“Then you can’t expect him to be just seeing you.”
My mouth dropped open, and I stared at my married, sensible, way more traditional friend. She was the last person I expected to hear something like this from. “I...”
Heather crossed her arms and gave me a pitying look. “You’re falling for this guy. That’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. Especially if things are turning out like this.”
“Like what? What’s happened?”
“Rory saw him at her bar.” I gestured angrily. “Just a few minutes ago. He was alone. He told me his dad was visiting and that’s why he couldn’t see me today.”
“Maybe his dad is visiting.”
“Then why weren’t they together? Why was Seth sitting alone for two hours?”
She put her hand up. “Hold on. You just said you think he’s seeing someone else. How does sitting alone in a bar equate seeing another woman? Did Rory say he was there trying to pick up girls?”
I sighed. “He just left the bar. He could be on his way to see a woman now. My point is that if his dad was in town, they would be together, right?”
Heather’s mouth twisted as she thought it over. “I guess… but who knows? Why don’t you just call him and ask what’s up?”
I took a step back. “No way!”
“Why? Because that offends the facade you’ve so carefully built? The one of the woman who doesn’t let any man get to her?”
“Yeah, sure.” I lifted my chin.
Heather’s cheeks puffed as she exhaled heavily. “Wow. So, you’re just going to put yourself through hell? Or what, never call him again, and then move onto the next guy? And all because you don’t want to deal with what’s happening?”
I looked at my shoes. Part of me wanted to do just that. Never talking to Seth again would be easy. In an instant, my hands would be washed clean of all of this. I could move on, go back to thinking about nothing but work and my friends, go back to eating dinner alone with my dog and having a new blind date every other weekend. Casually dating again would be a roller coaster, but at least it wouldn’t be as extreme as the one I currently rode.
But I didn’t really want to do that. I didn’t want to — I couldn’t — move on.
“No,” I admitted. “I want to see him again.”
“Okay, so now comes the work part of relationships.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Ugh. I’m afraid to ask.”
“Talking,” she explained. “You sit down with him and see what’s up.”
I groaned. “I forgot about all of that. What if… what if he’s not into me anymore? Because it really seems like that’s what’s happening.”
“You’ll never know if you don’t ask.”
I ground my teeth together and nodded. She was right. I need to know if Seth meant what he had told me last weekend, that he was falling for me. Soon I would know the truth. And whatever it was I would accept it and move on.
“I’m sorry to be running out of the theater,” I told Heather. “But thank you for talking with me.”
“It’s okay, and you’re welcome. The movie sucks anyway. We should have just gone for frozen yogurt.”
“Oh my God, yes,” I moaned. “That’s just what I need right now.”
“There’s a place on the other side of the shopping center.”
“We can’t leave Dan.”
Heather pulled her cell phone from her pocket and started typing. “Oh, please. He owes me.”