CHAPTER SIX
Evie smiled smugly at me from across the table.
“Okay,” I spat. “You can stop now.”
She only grinned wider. “I’m just so happy for you.”
“Well, I’m not.” My shoulders slumped forward, and I stirred the thin black straw in my mojito. The tapas bar bustled with activity around us, so full that I’d decided it probably safest to wait until the dinner rush was over to even attempt to go to the bathroom. If I happened to trip and fall down, I’d be stampeded by the hipster waiters and the high heeled gaggles of women they were serving.
“You’re free,” Evie sang out. “Free! Free! Free!”
“I know, and it’s what I wanted.”
“It’s where you were headed.”
I nodded. “It was inevitable, but it still sucks.”
Evie shook her head, her hoop earrings swaying. “See, this is what can happen. You go for some guy who you know isn’t right for you, but because you jump in, you end up getting attached anyway. It’s happened to me more than once, and that’s why I’m careful now. You gotta watch yourself. I know we’re supposed to be sexually liberated women and all, but that doesn’t mean we can ignore the ways we innately tick.”
“Ugh,” I spat in agreement. “You’re right. Why are we that way? What’s with that?”
She shrugged. “Biology? Human nature? Though I guess those are, like, the same thing. I don’t know. All I know is that you’re better off without Derek What’s-His-Name. Now you can finally move on.” She pumped her eyebrows up and down. “You can call up the other What’s-His-Name. The hot one.”
“Cristiano?”
“Is there anyone else?”
“No,” I sighed, and warmth filled my belly. “Not when they’re being compared to him.”
“So what are you waiting for? Blaire, the second you sleep with someone else, you’ll be over Derek like that.” She snapped her fingers. “Remember? It’s biology,” she slurred slightly.
“I can’t.”
“Because it’s too soon?”
“Yes,” I immediately said, choosing to share only one of the reasons I couldn’t.
Her eyes narrowed. “And why else?”
“Why are you psychic now? When did this happen?”
“You’re clearly ga-ga for Cristiano, so I just don’t get why you’re not halfway to his place right now.”
“B-because,” I sputtered. “It wouldn’t be... professional.”
“Oh, whatever. No one at that orphanage cares. Is there some sort of policy that volunteers can’t date each other or something?”
I scowled at her. “No, of course not.”
“So stop making excuses.”
“And, if you’re speaking about biology and attachment and whatever, well, what if I end up getting super attached to Cristiano and then it doesn’t work out? That’ll suck.”
“Hm.” Evie leaned down to sip her cocktail. “Maybe. But for me, that would be a chance worth taking.”
I stared at her dubiously. “You don’t think I need some time to get over Derek? We broke up today. Pursuing someone else would be—”
She held up a hand. “Don’t say sleazy. Don’t do that to yourself. You’re a human being with needs. And Mr. Basic didn’t do it for you so, you know...”
She stuck her tongue out and then started to say something else, but I interrupted her.
“Okay, okay.” I dropped my face in my hands, then peeked at her between my fingers. “Never mind. I think I need some time.” I stared at the bar’s window past Evie’s shoulder. Headlights from the congested traffic out there pierced the darkness. There were so many people in the world... so many people in just Chicago.
Had I really been wasting my time with Derek? Even though I already missed him, and I thought I would for a while, it sure did feel like going back to him would be a major mistake.
“But I also need to move on,” I muttered. “I just don’t know that I should try doing that with Cristiano. He’s...” I sucked in a sharp breath. “He’s… wow.”
Evie tapped her nails on the table. “Intimidating? Well, you’ll never know what could have been if you don’t try.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. I hadn’t told her about our meeting in the coffee shop, thanks to a bit of shame about sneaking around with him.
“Did you talk about the roses when you saw him at the orphanage?”
“A little bit. He seemed kind of regretful.”
“Please... only because you seemed unhappy about it. If you’d gushed about them, he would have been over the moon.”
I pursed my lips, knowing I’d be an idiot to deny such an idea. “Yeah, he’s pretty slick. I’ve got that much figured out. He knows how to work it. He’s already made a fortune, and he’s only a few years older than us.”
“Mmm,” Evie cooed like she was looking at a delicious piece of steak.
Cristiano Leventis... the man did more than just haunt my dreams. In a very short amount of time, he’d bought out nearly all the real estate in my brain. I thought about him night and day, like it or not. I knew I should have felt awful, breaking up with one man that day and thinking about getting with another that night, but all of my other feelings pushed that guilt down. I burned to know the feel of Cristiano’s naked body against mine, to hear his whispered words in my ear, and to taste his tongue in my mouth.
Even if my biology, as Evie put it, turned on me. Even if it made going to the orphanage awkward. Even if other pressing reasons screwed things up for us.
I’d begun not even caring about the potential consequences.
So what if it all crashed and burned? At least I wouldn’t have to go through the next fifty or sixty years of life beating myself up for not going for it with him. At least I could say I’d taken a shot.
I needed to stop thinking about it so much. I needed to just do.
“Okay,” I nodded. “I’m going for it.”
Evie squealed. “Call him right now.”
“What? No.”
“Just do it. Quick. Before you lose your nerve.”
“No. I need time to think... to... formulate a plan. If I call him right now, I’ll say something awkward and screw it all up.”
She looked at me dumbly. “He’s a guy. You really don’t need to take the time to write him a poem. Send him a text like, hey you wanna Netflix and chill? He’ll get the hidden meaning. Or, even if it’s not there, he’ll put it there.” She winked.
I licked my bottom lip and tasted the matte lipstick there. “I know that. I want it to be... you know, romantic. He’s that way. He sent me roses, for God’s sake.”
Evie’s eyes grew bigger. “Ooh, okay. That’s true, he did do that. So, now I’m excited! What are you thinking?”
I heaved out a long breath. “Well, I have one idea...”
***
I cut the car’s air conditioning and rolled my window down instead. Even having the AC on its lowest setting made the interior a bit too chilly. The fresh air coming in through the open window was perfect. It whipped my hair around, making little pieces of it stick to my face. I slowed down as I approached a stoplight, coming to stop next to a few trees full of pink blossoms. Their sweet scent filled my car, making me feel infinitely better than I had just a few seconds before.
Two days had passed since I called the flower delivery service. It had seemed like a great idea at the time — so much better than texting or calling Cristiano myself. As of two days ago, he probably still felt like his sending me roses had been questionable and awkward. With my sending him a thank you note attached to a spring bouquet, he’d hopefully get the hint that I was now seeing his actions as positive.
Do women send men flowers? I wondered. Is that a thing?
I decided it didn’t matter and took the turn onto my street. Either he would call me or he wouldn’t. There was nothing else to it and no reason to fuss. Whatever happened, the sun would still rise and set. We would all go about our business as usual. I would see him at the orphanage... and just try to look the other way. I had a life. Things to do, places to be.
I chewed on my bottom lip. Two days. Was that normal? Hadn’t the guy on the phone promised me they would send the delivery out the very next day? Maybe Cristiano was playing it cool and just giving it some time before he responded.
Chill. I needed to chill. Think about something else. Anything else.
Like finding a parking spot.
I navigated into my building’s underground garage and found a space near the elevator. Before climbing from the car, I took a quick look at the time. Eleven-ten.
I sighed. The days were long. Too long.
Or maybe that was just when you were waiting around wondering whether a guy was going to bite at your fishing line or not.
I grabbed my fringe purse and did a quick sweep of the parking garage. As far as they went, it was probably one of the safest ones in Chicago, but I knew better than to walk into any deserted area without scoping out the space first.
I tried to formulate a plan for the day as I rode the elevator up to my floor. I needed to call Michael, Evie’s cousin. He’d said he might have a job for me, but his voice message hadn’t offered much else, and I was left wondering just what this new job might be. Since Michael and I went way back, I trusted his judgment when it came to helping me find work, and I couldn’t live off dad’s insurance money forever. And my latest job was practically over.
What else could I do with my day?
There was the gym. Although it was so beautiful out it would be a shame to waste any time inside.
I could run around the park. I could even run to it since it was just a mile or so away.
Working out. Running errands. Cleaning the apartment. The occasional meeting. Hanging with Evie. Each day was still the same, except now I had even more time to fill without Derek in my life. The only thing that promised to punctuate the routine was a half day spent at the orphanage, and my next volunteer shift was still a couple days away.
I closed and locked my apartment’s front door behind me then tossed my purse on the couch. I needed more hobbies. Yes, that was it. I needed more hobbies, ones that didn’t involve exercise or pursuing the opposite sex.
A buzzing started from in my purse, and then my ringtone blared. I sucked in a sharp breath and leaped for the couch. I landed in a kind of awkward twisted position on the end cushion. The phone kept on ringing, getting dangerously closer and closer to the point where it would cut off.
Don’t get your hopes up, don’t get your hopes up. It’s probably the landlord calling to remind me about rent.
Sadly, my landlord had a habit of making monthly reminder calls, like his tenants were likely to get confused about whether it was the end of the month or not.
Still, I couldn’t stop myself. I frantically tore open my purse and whipped the phone out.
Cristiano. It was Cristiano calling.
Deep breath in...
Deep breath out...
But since I also didn’t have any time to waste, I swiped the answer button while practicing my Zen breath work.
“Hello?” I said, my voice sounding annoyingly high. I bit my lip, wishing I could suck the word right back through the line.
“Hi, Blaire,” came Cristiano’s smooth answer, in that beautifully deep tone that warmed my entire being. “How are you?”
“I’m fine.” I paused, realized I held in a breath, and then let it go before continuing. “How are you?”
“Very well, thank you. I received a lovely bouquet yesterday.”
“Oh, really?” I asked in what I hoped was my coyest voice. “That’s nice to hear.”
The slightest chuckle, so low and short it almost wasn’t there, came over the line. “It... surprised me.”
My mouth went dry. I was no good at flirting. I’d gotten through a parent’s death. I’d survived boot camp. Active duty in Afghanistan. But talking sweet with a man? I’d done a little bit of dirty talk in bed before, but flirting over the phone was something entirely different. Just thinking about trying to do it made me feel awkward.
“Uh,” I offered, then winced.
Cristiano plunged on, seeming not to notice my hesitation. “What are you doing tonight?”
“Tonight?” I repeated, feeling like one of those flustered geeky girls in a rom-com. You know, the stereotypical heroine that hasn’t had a boyfriend in years and is best friends with her cat.
“There’s a meteor shower tonight. It will be hard to see in the city, but if you were to drive out a bit and get to the right spot, it should prove worthwhile.”
“Wow,” I said, genuinely interested. “I haven’t seen a meteor shower in... I don’t know. That’s cool. I didn’t even know there was one tonight.”
“Would you like to go?”
My heart fluttered. A date. This sounded like a date. And not just any old movie and dinner date. Cristiano was asking me out to do something actually exciting, something I would even do on my own. Ironically, it was just the kind of thing I’d always tried to get Derek to do.
“I would love to go,” I breathlessly responded.
“Great. I can pick you up if you like. How about around eight?”
“Yeah, that sounds good. Eight is great.” Now I’m rhyming? What is wrong with me?
He chuckled, the sound making me close my eyes. “Wonderful. See you then.”
“Okay,” I rasped. “Bye.”
I quickly hung up, so excited and nervous I couldn’t even handle another second on the line with him.
I dropped the phone on the couch and noticed my hands were shaking. Giddy. I was giddy. Thrilled, really. So thrilled I was having symptoms similar to shock or an all-out mental breakdown.
Clothes. I had to figure out what to wear.
But first I needed to text Evie. Or call Evie. Yes, definitely call her. This news was way too exciting to share in a text.
And shower. I needed to shower. And what about dinner? Did I need to have dinner before Cristiano picked me up? Probably, since he wasn’t coming until eight. Or maybe he ate late, like they did in Europe. Cristiano would be alternative like that.
Okay, I needed to stop thinking. I was thinking way too much.
But wait... did I need to bring anything? A blanket? A telescope?
“Chill,” I told myself out loud. I didn’t even own a telescope, so that was out of the question. I laughed, briefly imagining myself going out and blowing a thousand dollars from my savings account on one and then lugging it out to the backseat of Cristiano’s car, all while acting like I’d had it sitting in my closet for ages. This is how into meteors I am, I’d tell him in an effort to impress.
With a little bit of work ignoring my thoughts, I finally calmed down. The shower and makeup part of getting ready went by easily. The clothing part didn’t. Hours later, I still stood in front of my bed, gazing down at one-third of my whole wardrobe.
Pants definitely. I needed to wear pants, though they weren’t the sexiest option out there. But we would be in a field in the middle of the night, and having a spider crawl up my skirt was also not a sexy option.
Bell bottoms were my go-to when it came to jeans, so I picked out the pair with a bit of bleach splayed over them. The bleach was artistically done, and so even though the pants were casual, they still looked pretty nice. To bring the outfit up a notch, I selected a dark blue button up shirt. A few long necklaces, each one sporting a crystal or a golden clover, completed the look.
I was ready way before eight o’clock. I filled the time with doing some light cleaning, vacuuming the rugs and sweeping the kitchen floor though they didn’t really need it. When the possibility of breaking a sweat became real, I stopped and sat down on the couch, fanning myself with my hand so my makeup didn’t get slick and run.
But I couldn’t sit still. My shoes tapped against the floor, and my knee bobbed.
Am I doing the right thing?
I clenched my jaw. There it was. The thought I’d been trying to keep at bay all day long.
I was starting to get over the guilt of going out on a date so soon after breaking up with Derek. After all, I really did have feelings for him, and I’d broken up with Derek before actively pursuing anything else.
But there was the other issue that came with dating Cristiano. Was it professional?
No. Probably not.
More precisely, definitely not.
Things could get tricky, and fast.
I shook my head. But they just as easily couldn’t. And really, I would never be able to live with myself if I gave up this opportunity. Men like Cristiano Leventis came around once in a decade if you were lucky. If I shut him out fifty years from then, I’d be sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch of the local nursing home swapping stories with the other old timers about the one that got away.
My door’s buzzer went off, and I shot up from the seat as if catapulted from a spring. No way in hell would I be lamenting about chances missed over a group knitting session.
“Hello?” I asked into the intercom.
“It’s Cristiano.”
Just the sound of his voice made me smile.
“Be right down,” I said, trying to make myself sound as elegant as possible.
Cristiano, Cristiano! His name played over and over in my head, the syllables twisting along with a beautiful melody as I grabbed my purse and light green army jacket. The evening air was likely still close to perfect, but there was still the chance of the temperature dropping as the night progressed.
Cristiano stood on the front stoop wearing tight dark jeans and a blue button-up that eerily matched my own.
“Wow,” I said as I pushed the building’s door open. “So you do dress down. I was really starting to think you worked out in dress shirts.”
I tried not to grin at my clever remark. Boo-yah, I was flirting!
He grinned. “And I match apparently.”
I looked down at my own top, which was a couple shades darker than his. “We must be on the same wavelength.”
I regretted the words instantly. They weren’t simply flirtatious. They seemed too personal, so eager.
Cristiano didn’t appear to feel the same way. “Ready to go?” He extended his arm to me, like we were about to walk into a ballroom rather than across the sidewalk.
Unsure exactly what I was supposed to do, I settled with wrapping my hand loosely around his forearm. “Thanks.”
“I’m right over here.”
He pulled his keys from his pocket and unlocked a sleek black car waiting a few spots down. Instead of going to the driver’s side right away, he opened my door and waited for me to get in. Once I was settled, he closed the door and got in on his side.
My mind raced for things to talk about. Small talk. Small talk. Small talk.
I didn’t want small talk. I wanted to know why he was allowed to be so hot. I wanted to ask him what he thought of me going out on a date with him when only days before I had a boyfriend.
Cristiano settled into his own seat and started the engine. The left side of my body buzzed with him in such close proximity. In an effort to ignore it, I directed my energy back to coming up with things to talk about.
“Do you watch meteor showers a lot?” I asked.
Stupid question. How often did meteor showers even occur?
“When they’re happening.” He pulled out into traffic, his driving smooth and fast. “You have to be in the right spot, unfortunately, and I’m not always. But this place we’re going — it’s at a farm, by the way — is just great. I discovered it last year. There’s this giant field with hardly any trees, and there’s so much open sky. The place is owned by a couple of my friends. It’s a dairy farm, and they don’t mind people coming out there.”
“Oh. Wow. It sounds nice.” I sighed lightly. “I need to get out of the city. Six months here and I feel way too cooped up.”
He glanced at me. “Seriously?”
“Yeah, and I mean not just to the suburbs. Those don’t really count. I was just out in one today.” I bit my lip, deciding to not say anymore.
“So you mean out into nature?”
“Totally. I keep meaning to go camping, but I just haven’t gotten around to it. It’s been kind of hard to find anyone to go with me. I kept asking my boyfriend — um, ex-boyfriend — but he wasn’t really into the idea.”
I flushed, embarrassed beyond belief to have let the word ‘boyfriend’ slip.
“I was wondering about that.”
Camping? I thought about asking, though I knew pitching tents wasn’t what he was referring to.
“We broke up,” I explained as if the ‘ex’ part wasn’t explanation enough. And then, “It had been coming for a while.”
I don’t want you to think I ended it just for you, was what I was trying to say. That would make me appear way too desperate. Though, of course, it was partly true. Derek and me ending had been inevitable, but I couldn’t deny that it had been sped up by Cristiano’s arrival... though I tried desperately to deny it at first.
“I’m... sorry to hear that.”
Of course he wasn’t. And though he said the words, his tone was anything but true to the statement.
“It’s fine,” I said, trying to keep my voice bland. “I feel really good about it.”
“Good. You don’t seem upset at all. How long were you two together?”
I waved my hand. “Just a few months... like four months. He’s a cool guy, we just don’t have a lot in common. My friend Evie kept telling me I needed to end it. So, anyway, it was already kind of happening.”
I gulped. Yep, there I went. Over explaining it all.
“It’s been a while since I was in a serious relationship,” Cristiano offered.
“I definitely wouldn’t have called Derek and me serious.” I looked at Cristiano with new curiosity. “When... can I ask when that was? I mean, when was the last time you had a girlfriend?”
He inclined his head slightly. “About a year ago.”
I wished that answer could tell me something more about his views on women and romance in general, but it really didn’t. He could be a serial dater for all I knew, seeing lots of women until he fell for one in particular. Or he could hardly be involved in the dating world at all.
We were quiet for a few more moments, during which I inconspicuously studied his hands on the steering wheel. They were broad, the right one bearing a silver watch around the wrist. I couldn’t look at them without imagining their touch through the fabric of my jeans.
“When did you leave the Army?” Cristiano asked, jarring me from my dirty little fantasy.
“About six months ago. I was in the reserves then.”
“You lived here in Chicago?”
“No, I lived with my mom outside of the city.” I hesitated to tell the next part. “I moved back with her after my discharge, when I went into the reserves.”
I waited for his reaction to that one.
“That’s nice,” Cristiano replied. “I bet your mom really liked that.”
“Yeah, she loved it.” I sighed lightly. “Actually, one of the reasons I moved into the city was that I thought she needed some, uh, space. She kind of depended on me a lot. You know, what with me being her only immediate family.”
“So how’s it been the last six months?”
I tucked some hair behind my ear and looked out the window. We were driving past a row of restaurants, some with outdoor patios. People in wicker and metal chairs drank glasses of wine and chatted gaily, their happiness and relaxed attitudes so apparent I could nearly hear their laughter.
“It’s been better, I think. I visit her when I can, and she comes to see me maybe once a month. She also joined this class at the YMCA, so I think she’s making some more friends there. And she’s got the neighbors. It’s a pretty good community there.”
I felt a little guilty talking about my own relationship with my mother when Cristiano’s wasn’t even existent. I wanted to know if he’d thought any more about his mom since our conversation in the coffee shop, specifically if he was feeling more forgiving.
If you knew the exact circumstances of why she left you then you might feel better, I wanted to suggest.
It was too soon, though. Cristiano and I didn’t know each other near enough to delve deeper into that topic. One day. Hopefully.
“The YMCA.” Cristiano tapped his thumb on the steering wheel. “I haven’t been to one of those in a long time.”
“Where do you work out?”
The question of whether or not he even worked out didn’t need to be presented. The man was deliciously lean and buff. No way did that body come from sitting around and enjoying a plate of nachos in front of the weekend game.
“In my home gym,” he answered.
“Ah.” But of course. Oddly enough, I’d almost forgotten about those billions amassed in the stock market.
“You like bell bottoms,” he commented.
I squirmed, but then noticed the smile on his face. The passing street lights lit it up, alternating dark and light.
“Yeah, I do. They’re hard to find. Real ones anyway, and not just boyfriend jeans that are trying too hard.”
“They look great on you.”
I worked to swallow. “Thanks.”
He took a right, navigating northwards out of the city.
“How long of a drive is this?” I asked.
“I think we’re about twenty more minutes away.”
“Cool. That’s really close.
“Yeah. So what do you still think of the orphanage? Are you going to stick around?”
I laughed. “There’s very little reason not to. It’s crazy there, but I love it. I mean, how could you not?”
“The kids all like you.”
I chuckled. “I bet no one likes me as much as Jenny likes you. You should have heard her when I got there the other day. She was talking about you, and she got all breathless. She couldn’t even spit your name out all the way.”
Cristiano grinned wide. “She’s the best.”
We chatted about the orphanage for a while, comparing stories about the kids. Cristiano, of course, had many more than I — his best one being the time Elliot got stuck in the old dog door. Teresa was two seconds away from calling the fire department when Cristiano came up with the idea of greasing the kid out.
“You used butter?” I asked through laughter.
“It worked. We just put a couple sticks in the microwave for a few seconds and voila! I read about it in a news article once, about this kid getting stuck in a bike rack in front of a restaurant. The chef came to the rescue with some melted butter.”
I laughed out loud. “And then he still served that butter with the lobster, right?”
“I hope not!” he exclaimed, joining in my laughter.
Once out of the city, Cristiano’s car picked up the pace, revving as we took I-90. The stars sparkled delightfully above us, the light pollution of the city at our backs.
Cristiano took an exit, and then more turns than I could count, making me marvel at his ability to find his way through the countryside. The place we were headed for had to be special to him, since he’d obviously visited it enough times to commit the route to memory, which is saying something, since most people depend on GPS these days.
I cracked my window then rolled it down halfway, taking in the deliciousness of semi-fresh air. To a city and suburb bound dweller, it tasted like heaven. The fact that we’d managed to get ourselves into a pocket of countryside so close to the city was amazing.
Though some people probably wouldn’t refer to it as countryside. Houses still passed, close enough that you could see one from the front porch of the other, but in contrast to Chicago, it definitely was the country. When the open spaces began to really widen up, Cristiano turned onto a dirt road. The car bumped along until he pulled it off to the side into the grass. I squinted into the darkness, peering through the windshield to try and make out our surroundings.
Next to the car was a cluster of bushes, but beyond them, I couldn’t make out much other than some lights from a house not too far away.
“Wow,” I breathed. “It’s really dark out here. We’re not about to get murdered are we?”
“Don’t worry, I’d do my gentlemanly duty and take the ax for you.”
“Aw, chivalry isn’t dead! I’m kidding, though, this looks awesome.”
“It’s amazing,” Cristiano said, the pleasure evident in his voice. “Don’t worry. I brought a flashlight.”
“Really. I’m not worried.”
Not with you here, the giddy fangirl in me cooed.
“I know,” he said, his voice serious again. “You’ve probably seen things I know nothing about.”
I cocked my head but didn’t say anything, glad that he couldn’t see my face in the darkness.
“Yeah,” I finally admitted, forcing all those images away. “Maybe I have.”
The dark was the last thing I had to be afraid of. The dark could hide you, keep you safe. It took your secrets and tucked them away for you, putting them in deep places no one else dared to go.
Cristiano reached into the back seat and pulled out a woven picnic basket. I bit back a smile. The whole thing was starting to be a little cliché, but damn, I loved it. If he pulled a rose out of that basket, or a lyre, I would probably laugh out loud... but then fall right into his arms.
I followed his lead, clambering out of the car and into the grass. The ground softly gave under my feet but wasn’t damp enough to be a real threat. Cristiano turned on his flashlight, and the beam shone ahead, leading us through a gap in the bushes and then up a hill. Putting my arms out for balance, I followed the soft glow of light. I kept a few feet behind him, listening to the sounds of our breathing and the far away night noises. An owl. Crickets. Something that sounded like a coyote or a dog, far away but just loud enough to pick up. The sounds of the insects and animals grounded me, brought me back to the moment. I’d missed nature so much and hadn’t really realized the full extent of my longing until then.
We trekked a short distance and then stopped halfway towards the sparkling lights that now revealed themselves as a farmhouse. It was easier to see once out of the brush and away from the saplings, thanks to the moonlight glowing down. We were on the side of what seemed to be a fairly large hill, mostly surrounded by wide open spaces. Far off in the distance were lights from a few more houses, but their luminescence was nothing compared to that of the stars. Those glittered gloriously above us, taking my breath away in a manner they hadn’t done in years.
So long... it had been so long since I’d just gone outside and gazed at the sky. So long since I’d allowed myself to get lost in the eternalness of the night. In high school, I’d sat outside with my friend Erin almost every weekend, staring up at the stars and talking about anything and everything. We’d probably seen more shooting stars in one summer than most people see in their whole lifetimes.
Why had I ever given star gazing up? Looking back, it was so clear that nothing compared to it. Staring up at the night sky, you could get lost, untether yourself in space, forget you even existed in the expansiveness of it all.
Cristiano got busy next to me, pulling a blanket out of the picnic basket and spreading it on the ground. I stood watching, my eyes adjusting to the night and picking up more details with each moment. When four LED tea lights came out of the basket, I laughed out loud.
“You really plan well,” I commented. “This is awesome. And innovative.”
“Thank you,” he answered, the smile evident in his voice.
He set the candles in a diamond in the middle of the blanket then brought out plastic containers of food, glasses, and a bottle of red wine.
“Madam?” Down on his knees, he gestured at the blanket with a flourish. “Oh, excuse me... I mean miss. I hope I didn’t offend you there.”
I laughed and joined him on the opposite end of the blanket. “You can call me whatever you want.”
Hey, maybe I am good at flirting.
Cristiano poured some, and we clinked our glasses together, enjoying the first sip of the earthy juice before he spread out napkins and silverware and served our dinner. The dark made it hard to see what I was eating, but I bit into some kind of pasta salad and something else that was maybe artichoke based.
“You cook,” I slyly commented, hoping it was true.
“Yes, I love to cook.”
Aaaannnd... the perfect man, ladies and gentlemen! Cristiano Leventis is the perfect man. Now if only I could reproduce and bottle him. I’d make even more moolah than he already has.
I took another drink of wine. A wave of relaxation floated through me, making me feel chill enough to settle down cross-legged. “Do you know when the meteor shower starts?”
He brought his wrist up to his face so that he could peer at his watch. “It’s been going on the last couple nights, but only a few falling every hour. They say the number is increasing, so we should see something anytime now. If we just keep watching, we should see a bit of it. Nasa’s report said it will get into full swing in about an hour or so.”
With a fluid move, he tossed his palm to the blanket and leaned back onto it. I quickly dropped my eyes to my lap. A small amount of food, as good as it was, had filled me up. Plus, being so close to Cristiano had a way of jump starting my nerves. With him there, it was hard to feel much of anything, including hungry, other than goofy.
“It’s so quiet out here,” I whispered. “You said this was a dairy farm?”
“Yes, but don’t worry. The cows aren’t kept over here.”
I chuckled. “That’s good.”
“However, if you wanted to go cow tipping later, I would oblige.”
“Why thank you.”
“It would only be my gentlemanly duty.”
“And your... friends own it?”
“Yes, my friend Daniel and his partner own a few different farms around here.”
I nodded my head in the general direction over my shoulder. “Do they live in that house?”
“They actually rent that out. Nightly, I think. It’s kind of a popular weekend getaway. Daniel and Jack mostly stay in the city.”
A bit of light flashed in the sky above his head, and I gasped. “I think I saw one! A shooting star.”
He turned to look behind him. A few seconds went by and then another meteor traced its white line through the darkness.
“Wow,” I breathed. “I almost forgot how beautiful they are.”
“Yeah. Just wait till it gets going.”
Something about the heaviness in his voice made my body temperature go up a couple degrees. I swallowed hard and focused on the sky, raking my gaze across it in the hunt for more shooting stars. I stared until my eyes began to hurt, but I couldn’t look away. The horizon grew, becoming more and more expansive. With my head tilted back, all I could see was space. Was there still earth beneath me? Had there ever been? I was floating through the cosmos, sailing on a sudden euphoria. It was that sensation I always chased after while star gazing. And I’d finally grabbed hold of it.
Two streaks of light passed, and then three at one time.
“Wow!” I cried out, then laughed. “I’m sorry. I sound like I’m three, I know.”
Cristiano chuckled. “It’s nice. You do seem... so happy.”
I felt my blush and was glad he couldn’t see it. “It’s been so long since I’ve done anything like this. I really miss it. I used to do this with my best friend in high school. And I used to camp a lot with my dad too, and then after that with some friends from the reserves. Or we’d just go hiking for the day, you know... but it was always great.”
“Why haven’t you been doing it lately?”
I looked away from the sky to take in his dark form. He was leaning on the other arm now, his torso angled in my direction.
“Was it because of your ex-boyfriend?” he prompted.
“No... I mean, yes and no. I know I said something earlier that alluded to that being the reason, and I’ve been thinking it was the last few months, but I guess it’s really not. I could have gone out on my own. Or I could have called one of my friends who like this kind of stuff. I just... haven’t.”
A few seconds passed. “Then what is the reason?” he finally asked.
“I don’t know,” I admitted, feeling a bit breathless. “I just... I figured I needed a change. It’s only been six months since I finished in reserves. Then I moved because I thought it would be good for my mom and me. It would help prepare her in case I can’t be there one day. But I guess more changed than I planned on happened. And... I just haven’t been feeling much like myself lately. I haven’t been doing the things I like to do. I guess I don’t really know who I am.”
It was true. I hadn’t given much thought to it, but somewhere in the last six months, I’d started dropping a lot of the things that used to make me happy. The move hadn’t just been for the sake of helping my mom gain independence, it was also for me. I wanted to find out who I was away from the army. I wanted to start fresh, see just who I would become when I offered myself a clean slate. Maybe somewhere along the way, I lost all the good parts of myself as well, the parts I never intended to let go of.
I felt my nose wrinkle. All of the choices I had made hadn’t exactly been great. Like Derek, for one. Honestly, I had been wasting his time and my time, and now I wasn’t even sure why I’d ever gotten into that relationship. At the time, it was kind of like, why not?
Cristiano spoke up. “In case you can’t be there one day?”
“Huh?” I shook my head slightly, not sure what he was talking about.
“Why did you talk about not being there for your mother one day?”
There was an odd tone to his voice, like he was asking me just what the joke was.
I let out a long breath. “Yeah, I know how weird that might have sounded. It’s not like I’m planning on dying before her or anything. But...” I trailed off.
“You want your own life.”
My lips pursed. “Yeah,” I admitted.
“And the more independent she is, the happier she’ll be. And it’s the same with you. I’m guessing while you were in the army, it didn’t exactly feel like you were calling the shots.”
“I don’t regret that,” I quickly said. “In fact, it was really great to give up some of that control, to have someone tell me what to do. To know that tomorrow I would get up at a certain time, eat at a certain time. I know that sounds crazy, but after taking care of my mom for so long, it almost felt like the routine of it all was taking care of me.”
“And now?”
“When I left six months ago, I was ready for something completely new. I didn’t want to be beholden to anyone... ugh. That sounds bad. That’s not what I meant. I love my mom.”
“I’m sure you do. You don’t have to feel guilty about these feelings, Blaire. They’re completely normal.”
His arm lifted in the darkness, and his fingertips gently grazed down my jaw. My whole torso constricted, making me feel giddy and terrified all at once. I focused on Cristiano’s dark face, his features becoming a little clearer the longer I kept my eyes still. Out of my peripheral, a few more meteors zoomed by.
I swallowed hard, relishing the feel of Cristiano’s hand on my cheek. It was a strange and romantic gesture, and I couldn’t ever remember a man touching me in such a way. The touch lingered on, and I wanted to kiss him, but I also didn’t want the moment to end.
Never again would there be a first time Cristiano Leventis would rest his fingers on my cheek underneath a meteor shower in the middle of a field. It was a uniquely constructed moment, and no other one in all of the history of humankind would duplicate it.
If I even breathed, I don’t know. Not a real thought passed through my head. All that existed was his hand against my skin, the hot fires in the sky, and deep space stretching on and on, lifting the two of us up off that blanket and taking us away with it.
Bolder than I’d ever been before, I lifted my own hand and cupped it against the outside of his, then trailed my fingers down the length of his arm. Cristiano shifted forward as my fingers brushed across his lips. He sat up straighter, his free hand coming to wrap around my waist. The new energy flowing through me pulsed, craving to be joined with the life force of the man in front of me.
Me. Cristiano. The stars and meteors above. We were all one and the same, made of the same matter, swirling around and around, moving about in infinite space.
Our mouths met, the collision a predetermined one. For how long we’d been on the course to join together, I didn’t know. But when it finally happened, it was like the universe around us took a collective sigh, letting out the breath it had been holding since the big bang.
Me. Cristiano. We were finally together.
I didn’t even know I’d been waiting for him, but I had.
Was this crazy? How could it all even make sense?
I couldn’t ask those questions. I couldn’t wonder if I was going crazy or feeling something real and legit. If I did, I would lose what I had in that moment. Pushing myself further forward, I got onto my knees to continue kissing him. My hands clutched his shoulders, gripping tight the fabric of his shirt.
Cristiano’s smooth palms went around my waist to press into the small of my back.
Strands of my hair fell down, veiling our locked faces. Cristiano kissed me harder, his tongue taking control. I opened my mouth further, allowing him the full command he apparently wanted. His tongue flicked against mine, and a shiver of pleasure went through me. My head fell to the side, and Cristiano grabbed it, holding it up and kissing me with even more fervor.
It seemed I’d lost all control. I was putty in his hands and enjoying every second of it. Moving both hands to my sides, Cristiano rested me down on the blanket. Something clinked, a wine glass falling over perhaps, but neither one of us looked. He was too busy leaning over me, pressing his lips against mine.
His hands threaded through my hair to lightly grip my head. Swirls of light spun in front of my eyes as we kissed, and I alternated opening them, the stars above blending in with the light behind my eyelids until I couldn’t tell one scene from the other.
I slid my hands down from Cristiano’s shoulders and over his chest, the buttons of his shirt rubbing against my palms like tiny pebbles. Beneath my own shirt, my chest lifted and fell rapidly, my breathing growing more ragged and my nipples tight. Heat pooled between my legs. I knew I could stop anytime I wanted. I knew we could just kiss and call it a night, save the rest of the secrets our bodies held for another time. There would be more nights and days to explore each other’s bodies, to get a taste of the unique ecstasy we could offer each other.
But I didn’t want to wait.
I trailed my hands over the ends of his shirt, letting the fabric lift the slightest bit so my fingers could press against his bare skin. It was a sign that I was open to more, that I craved more.
Cristiano bit down on my bottom lip, tugging it gently between his teeth. I moved my hands back up, undoing a button of his shirt as I went. With just enough room to slip my hand through the shirt’s opening, I pressed my palm against his abs.
He growled into my mouth, then shifted his weight to put some of it down on me. The bulge in his pants pressed against my waist, making the heat in my core double.
Cristiano’s hands found my waist then gripped at the belt loops of my jeans. I pushed up, nudging my pelvis against him. One hand slipped under my ass, holding me up while the other trailed through my hair, down my neck, across my chest, and down my side. A shiver followed his touch, a delicious quivering that made me ache for more.
With his mouth against my neck, he kissed and sucked at the sensitive spot there. I grabbed at his hair, sighing in pleasure. Still, he held me up, pressed in between his legs. His hard length rubbed against my leg, tight and eager, just like me.
I grasped the side of his hips, moving my hands front and back. One palm brushed over his groin, absorbing the heat there. Cristiano nipped at my neck and laid me gently down, letting my hips come back to rest on the blanket. His kisses flowed lower, sweeping the base of my neck and the spot where my blouse opened up. Tenderly, his fingers worked the buttons, the release of each one slow and meaningful.
The fresh air swept across my stomach. Cristiano’s palm followed, swirling up my abs and over my bra cups. My torso jerked, shocked by the electricity of his touch, and my nipples tightened even more. Eagerly, he pushed down the cup on one side of my bra and placed his mouth against the exposed flesh. His tongue swirled around the nipple there, and I let out an unbridled moan. His other hand wrapped around my other breast, tugging it and molding it with checked strength.
Down and down his mouth went, licking a line down the center of my body. When he got to my hips, he nipped at the seam of my jeans right between my legs. I pushed my hips up into his face in response, and he smoothed his palms over my breasts and around, bringing them down to the button of my pants.
My jeans became unbuttoned and unzipped, then tugged all the way down to my ankles. I kicked them the rest of the way off, forcing my shoes to go with them. Cristiano collapsed onto me again, his warm chest pressing into my bare one. My lips parted before his mouth even got to mine.
Our tongues brushed each other, their dance becoming faster and faster. I ran my palm over Cristiano’s hard bulge again, finding it thick and ready. Struggling a bit at the awkward angle, I unzipped his pants and delved beneath the fabric to take hold of his warm cock. The feel of it finally in my hands sent a little thrill through me. It pulsed hot and thick between my palms, and I ran my hands up and down it as we kissed. Cristiano shifted more of his weight onto me, showing how eager he was. Giving him what he wanted, I danced my fingers up the length of his hard flesh to press them against the head.
Two strong hands pressed against the sides of my hips, their fingers hooking into the sides of my panties. Fluidly, Cristiano tugged my underwear off, never once breaking our kiss. The fresh air nipped at the exposed flesh between my legs, a contrast to the heat there. Cristiano’s thumb pressed against my clit, eliciting a sigh of pleasure from me. It pressed harder, and a finger slipped into my pussy. His other hand came up to tug at my breasts again. The compounding pleasure shook me, making my back arch and my breath come out ragged.
Cristiano’s hand pushed harder against me, his fingers finding the spot inside me that made my eyes roll back in my head. He added another finger, the heel of his palm grinding in my clit. I cried out, the sound captured by his mouth as I shuddered, an orgasm rippling through me. I kissed him fiercely, the taste of his lips bringing me almost as much pleasure as his fingers against my most sensitive parts.
I was still shaking as he broke his kiss and moved backwards, pushing my knees to the side. His outline stood strong in the darkness, a monolithic presence in the middle of the field. It occurred to me that someone could see us, but I hardly cared. One orgasm hadn’t been enough. I was ravenous for Cristiano’s touch. Getting just a little bit of it made me crazy for more.
Cristiano continued to move backwards, but I grabbed his shirt, stopping him. He froze, then said nothing as I unbuttoned the rest of his shirt and helped pull it off. He took his own pants off, discarding them on the blanket, and I undressed myself the rest of the way, unhooking my bra straps and sliding out of my already open blouse.
The slightest breeze picked up, bringing its warm caress over the blanket and wrapping us up. We were both fully naked, exposed to the elements and exposed to each other.
A guttural noise came from Cristiano, and the next thing I knew, his face was between my legs. His tongue swirled around my still sensitive clit. I yelped, my thighs instinctively jerking away. A second later, though, a sweet sensation peeked through the uncomfortable one. Pleasure filled my core again. I arched my back, pressing myself down harder into his face, and a long moan escaped my lips.
My hand fell into the grass next to the blanket. The pleasure rocketed up. My fingers curled into the ground, dirt working its way under my fingernails, a tuft of grass cutting into my palm. An explosion of pleasure assaulted me, and I cried out, letting my shriek travel unchecked into the night.
Two seconds later, and Cristiano was on top of me again, his jaw scraping against my throat as he sucked at the base of my neck. He fumbled with his pants, and soon, the sound of a condom wrapper being torn hissed into the night. When he sat back and rolled it down his length, it was one of the sexiest things I’d ever witnessed.
Then he was back on top of me, and my shaking hands pushed between our stomachs, searching hungrily for his cock. I wrapped my fingers around it, tugging the slightest bit. It jerked and pulsed in response, growing even thicker, if that was at all possible. Gently, I guided it along my folds, spreading the wetness there before pressing the tip against my opening.
Cristiano took charge, pushing into me with painstaking slowness.
Sitting back on his knees, he hooked his arms under my thighs, spreading me wide as he drove into me. The smell of our sweat and sex already filled the air, mixing with the dirt of the ground and the crispness of spring. Cristiano kept his pace slow, pushing all the way in then pulling back out. I arched my back, silently begging for more, but he kept it steady, making the pleasure come and go in waves.
Slowly the ecstasy built, receding before coming back again and growing even stronger. Cristiano’s breathing became more labored, a sign that he was getting close to release.
His hands on my knees, he pushed my legs forward, folding them against me. The adjustment hit a new angle for me and goodness overflowed. I gasped as he thrust hard, rocking into me, changing the speed and force. Our bodies slapped together, the sound joining that of the nature around us.
“So good,” he murmured, taking my nipple between his teeth as he thrust harder and faster. A hand moved to my shoulder, holding me still when each plunge threatened to scoot me up the blanket.
I cried out, surrendering to yet another orgasm. Cristiano moaned and thrust harder, faster, before shuddering through his own release.
A meteor, brighter than any of the previous ones, whipped over his right shoulder. A couple more followed. I held my breath, and neither one of us moved a muscle. The moment hung there, cheating time, becoming eternal.