Sara
“THIS IS GOING to be the longest semester ever,” Valerie, one of the other internship students at the restaurant, lamented as she took a long pull of her beer. She somehow convinced me to have a drink at the bar next door after our shift was over. I thought it would be just us, but she invited our boss, Aaron, on the way out. He sat beside us, quietly sipping from his beer mug. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up when I felt his focus turn to me for most of the night, but I did my best to ignore it.
“It’s going to be harder, that’s for sure.” I nodded while playing with the label on my own bottle of beer. “I like that we’re finally getting to the good stuff. All the dishes we made tonight, we’re finally doing more than just observing. It’s exciting.” My mouth split into a wide grin before taking a quick swig. I meant every word. I was still assisting but getting a real feel of what it would be like to be a chef. The fast pace, the intensity, I loved it all.
My intention was to nurse one beer for a little while and head out. Instead of making excuses when one of my friends or classmates asked me to come out anywhere, I tried to oblige, within reason. I was exhausted and only wanted to hang out with my bed tonight, but thought making a quick appearance wouldn’t hurt. I never felt socially obligated before, but I liked having friends, or at least people I was friendly with.
“I like the excitement, Sara.” Aaron smiled at me, and again, something about the way his eyes lingered made me uncomfortable. His father officially owned the restaurant, but Aaron managed the employees. He was a sweet guy, slightly shorter than me and on the stocky side. I’d noticed as of late he was overly attentive to me. He’d taken to lingering in the back when I was working, attempting uncomfortable small talk. I could have killed Valerie for asking him to join us. I’d lost count of the managers who’d hit on me during all the waitressing jobs I’d had, and I always set them straight right away. Sometimes they backed off, but many times they made my life hell to the point I had to look for something else. Something else wasn’t an option for me. I needed this internship and job for the next few months, and I hoped ignoring Aaron’s staring and the skin crawl it caused would work for the time being.
I offered a stiff smile back and diverted my attention toward the back of the bar. It was different than Night Owls, more sport than student-oriented with giant TV screens covering most of the walls. My eyes scanned the room and widened when they landed on something familiar. Or someone. Drew sat at one of the tables in the back with what looked like Carlos and Brian next to him, and a blonde girl on his lap. She threw her head back in laughter at something he said and nudged his chest. I reached for my beer and downed almost half as I glared at the awful scene unfolding in front of me. The air stilled in my lungs, but I couldn’t look away. She was gorgeous and cozy as she snuggled against him, her arm draped over his neck, as if they’d done this a million times before. How could he do this?
“Sara, something wrong?” Aaron dropped his hand to my forearm and squeezed. I mumbled a no before my eyes darted back to the bar counter in front of me.
Drew never laughed like that with me. Stiff, older, single parent me. The thought made me want to curl up in a ball and cry. But, how could he? After . . . everything? After all these months of close friendship and the last few weeks of more than friendship? After all the “this is for you . . . I want to make you feel good . . . you’re all mine” bullshit. He couldn’t have been playing me all along, could he? I didn’t know what to think. I should’ve shot off my stool, marched over to where he sat and punched the cheating asshole in the stomach. But I was frozen and refused to let him hurt me even more. If he wanted to date around, fine, he could have at it. No skin off my nose. Maybe a broken and devastated heart, but hell if I was going to try to stop him.
“So, Sara. I’d like to make Valentine’s Day a big deal this year. My dad never put much thought into it, but maybe you could help me think of some his and hers dishes or something. He doesn’t get that people eat that shit up and guys look to score extra points to . . . you know.”
“Score?” I huffed before motioning to the bartender for a second beer. I wouldn’t go past two drinks, but I needed something to dull the pain and humiliation. Not that two beers would do it, but maybe it would calm me down enough to quell the shaking in my hands. Even my breaths were uneven and jumpy. Maybe Drew would score tonight. So much for him being honorable and patient. He was getting it from somewhere else already. No wonder he wasn’t in a rush to have sex with me. My nose burned as I took my first sip of the second bottle, but I sucked in a sharp breath to ward it off. No. I wouldn’t cry. Whatever I’d thought we had was all an illusion.
“I think that could be cool. We could all talk about it tomorrow night, maybe brainstorm a little.” My voice was dry and dull as I forced all the emotion I was feeling deep inside. My gut twisted, and bile threatened to rise in my throat, but I wouldn’t let it show. Pissed off, bitchy Sara could cover this up. She always did.
But she wasn’t in love before.
You can’t be in love with someone you don’t know. And I didn’t know Drew. Not like I thought. My breathing accelerated for a moment as I pretended to be interested in what Aaron was saying.
“So, what do you think?” When my eyes met his, he sat closer to me than when we first sat down. I inched to the other side of the stool in an attempt to put some distance between us.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Well, what if you stayed later tomorrow and just you and I could work on the menu. You have the restaurant experience they don’t.”
“I was a waitress,” I scoffed. “I’m sure most of them have been waiters or waitresses at some point. Is that a dig at me being older than they all are?”
“No, no.” He waved his hand back and forth before rubbing his forehead. “I’m not doing a great job of this. I’d like to spend time with you. Alone. I think we could be good together.” He leaned closer, brushing my hair off my shoulder. Now, I was nauseous for a whole other reason. My shoulder stiffened, hoping he’d get the hint, but it was no use. So much for ignoring this until it went away on its own. Fuck, this was all I needed tonight.
I searched the bar for Valerie, but she vacated her seat at some point around the time my love life imploded and was fluttering around the bar making small talk. We were all alone. Great.
“You’re stunning. I noticed you from the moment you walked in back in August. What do you say, Sara? Want to give me a shot?”
“Yeah, Sara. What do you say?” A gruff, but familiar voice behind me answered Aaron before I could.
My head swiveled to Drew’s furious glare. What fucking nerve. After what I’d just witnessed, the anger radiating off him didn’t make any sense, and I didn’t understand the sneer curling his lips. I returned his angry glower for a moment before turning my attention to my other problem.
“I say no, Aaron. I don’t date people I work with, especially not my manager. And . . . I don’t think of you that way. I’m sorry.” It was already out in the open so if I was fucked at work, there was nothing I could do about it. I needed to extinguish any hope he had of him being more than the man who signed my check and forms for school. “I need this job and don’t want it to be awkward. But no. A hard, non-negotiable no.” Aaron’s face fell, but he nodded, looking between Drew and me with narrowed eyes. He probably assumed I had something going on with the leering man behind me—hell, so did I—but I didn’t correct him otherwise. He seemed like an overall nice guy, and I prayed that wouldn’t change when I went back to work tomorrow.
Drew’s eyes seared into the back of my neck, but I forced myself not to turn around. I reached into my purse and threw a twenty dollar bill I really couldn’t afford to waste on the counter, but my frazzled state of mind prevented me from caring. “I’m going to call it a night. See you tomorrow.” I waved at Valerie at the other end of the bar, chatting up the bartender and having a blast. I’d never felt older or more beaten.
I rose from my seat and made my way over to the door, still not acknowledging Drew standing there. I bolted right past him and out of the bar, rushing to my car through the slush covered parking lot, not bothering to acknowledge that he was trailing me.
“You can’t work there anymore.”
I froze, turning to gape at Drew and seeing red. His jaw ticked as he stalked over to me. “I don’t want you within ten feet of that douchebag.”
“I can’t . . .” My eyes grew saucer wide, incredulous at this guy attempting to order me around like some caveman after what I’d seen him doing tonight. I massaged my throbbing temples before I continued. “First of all, that’s my job and my internship. I can’t quit in the middle of my last semester. He isn’t the first manager to hit on me, so I know how to deal with it. And second, it’s none of your goddamn business!”
“None of my goddamn business?” he yelled before he grabbed my wrist as I again attempted to get into the car. “My girl working for a guy who thinks they’d be good together isn’t my business? Not that you mentioned me when you blew him off,” Drew spat before he let go of my arm.
“Why should I? You were having such a nice night with some blonde bitch draped over your lap. I saw you, laughing and having a grand ol’ fucking time. What an idiot I’ve been.” I muttered, more to myself than him.
Drew exhaled slowly as his shoulders relaxed. “That’s what this is about? Sara, nothing is going on. Sam is an old friend of ours. I’ve mentioned her to you before.”
“I don’t straddle old friends of mine in a bar. Drew, just leave me alone.” Our eyes locked, and the heartbreak I’d been stifling for the past fifteen minutes bubbled to the surface. “How could you do this? Why did you make me believe . . . ?”
“She called us tonight to come out and celebrate her getting engaged. There was never anything going on with us—ever. Trust me when I say I’m not her type.”
His mouth curved in a little smile, and I lost it. I hit his chest once, then again until I reneged what little control I had left and pounded his torso until he caught my hands.
“What the hell does that even mean? You expect me to believe that? Let me go!”
“Sara, stop!” He wrapped his hand around both my wrists like a handcuff, and as much as I twisted and kicked, I couldn’t get out of his hold.
“Sam is getting married next week. To a woman. She prides herself on being a gold star lesbian and never being with a man. Ever. She was on Brian and Carlos’s lap earlier tonight, too. She’s playful but harmless. We aren’t turning her anytime soon.”
I relaxed my wrists and he let them go.
“Sam is the womanizing friend who Carlos said he couldn’t keep up with?” I raked my hand through my hair and fell back against my car door.
Drew exhaled before he answered with a slow nod. All this time I’d assumed Sam was a guy.
“She still shouldn’t be on top of you, lesbian or not.”
Jesus, what was happening to me? I was losing my mind, that’s what. Instead of infuriated and heartbroken, I was humiliated.
“Noted, and I’m sorry, Sara. Instead of assuming the worst, why didn’t you approach me, try to kick Sam’s ass, something?” His face softened into a frown. “Why did you just run?”
I pulled at the roots of my hair before lifting my eyes.
“I hate that you turned me into this. Made me that girl, the insecure idiot that jumps to the wrong conclusion like a bad fucking sitcom. I never needed anyone before I met you. I hate that you made me need you so much.” I shook my head and scoffed, so pissed at myself for being such a damn fool. “This isn’t me. Falling in love made me stupid.”
“What did you say?” Drew stepped closer, but I was too ashamed to look him in the eye. To say I’d made a fool out of myself tonight was an understatement.
“Answer me. What did you say just now?” He clutched my shoulders and squeezed.
“I said that I assumed the worst and made an ass out of myself. I watched you with her and it made me so angry how easy she could make you laugh, that you looked like you were having more fun with her than you ever did with me. I hated it. It hurt. A lot. This is what happens when I let myself have feelings. Can we just drop this? Please?” I begged.
“After that. You’re in love with me?”
“I . . .” I met Drew’s widened eyes and trailed off. “Yes,” I admitted. May as well put it all out there. “And believe it or not, you’re my first. Funny thing to say in your thirties.” I huffed out a laugh. “I have no clue what I’m doing or how to not act like a psycho. Let’s just forget tonight. You go back to your friends and I’ll go home. Pretend you didn’t see me and I’ll do the same. Goodnight, Drew.”
Drew grabbed the back of my head and crashed his lips to mine. I grunted in protest before I melted into his arms. His hands roamed my body, drifting down my thighs and grabbing my ass to pull me closer. I would never win an argument if he kept kissing me stupid and senseless. There was something in this kiss making it different than our others. It was passionate, but desperate. As if he was holding back all the other times, and now he was letting it all go. I fisted the collar of his T-shirt, dizzy from the intensity and lack of oxygen. I broke the kiss, gasping for air and limp against Drew’s chest. This man made me feel so much it was terrifying.
“I love you,” he whispered as he rested his forehead against mine. “I love you so much. I even love how pissed off you got tonight.” I shoved his chest as I bit my lip, willing the tears burning my eyelids to stay put. Loving someone and accepting their love in return was something I never thought I’d be able to do. But as much as I’d fought it the past few months, it was impossible not to love Drew. He made me feel loved, protected, and worth it. It was a heady feeling I was still too frightened to fully embrace, but damn it felt wonderful.
He laughed as his lips found my forehead. “And you know what, you’re my first, too.” The corners of his mouth twitched into a smile. “Now, let’s get out of here. Give me your keys.” He delved his fingers deeper into my hair and pulled so I’d look up. “You’re coming home with me.”