Drew
THE MEMORY OF Sara tortured me everywhere I turned, but in the kitchen lab it hurt most of all. I waited outside for the students to filter out. This was exam week, and I knew Sara would be in there. The thought of her behind that door make my skin prickle with sweat. I loved watching her cook. The peace and joy on her face when she was in a zone enraptured me and made me fall for her all over again every damn time. I rubbed at the ache in my pathetic chest. If she came over to me and said let’s forget everything and be together, I would have gathered her in my arms without hesitation. That wouldn’t happen, but a guy could dream. I’d give her some space for the moment, but I couldn’t stop fighting for her, or loving her. I didn’t know how.
I waited until the very last minute to make my way into the room and start my shift, bracing myself for the awkward confrontation when Sara and I were face-to-face. I’d been inside her more times than I could count, yet I didn’t even know if I should say hello. How fucked up was that? I searched the room upon entering but there were no more students—and no Sara. That made no sense. She’d never miss a test, no matter what sick or battered condition she was in. Yes, she was avoiding me, but not at the expense of her degree. Something was wrong.
“Drew,” Lisa called as she burst into the lab. “Listen, I need to speak to you. It’s about Sara.”
“What happened?” I rushed over, imagining the worst. The worst took on all different forms in my brain, and it seemed to take forever for Lisa to spit it out.
“She had to leave this morning to go back to the city. I made her take the train because she was in no shape to drive all that way.”
“Is it Victoria?” My blood ran cold thinking of that little girl sick or hurt or . . . worse.
“No, no she’s fine. Sara’s sister called her last night. Her parents were killed in a car accident. Sara is headed back to help with their funeral.”
The air drained from my lungs as I fell back on the edge of the desk, stunned and worried as hell. “You’re serious? After all they put her through she has to go back and—”
“Yes.” Her eyes were pained as she dropped a hand on my arm. “She’s only told me bits and pieces, but I know how awful they were. She’s going back to help her sister, but this is going to be horrible. This is not my place or my business, but she needs you. She’d never ask you because she’s stubborn as shit.”
“No kidding,” I scoffed, massaging my temples. “She’s not thinking of herself or what this will do to her. Do you know her mother hung up on her on Christmas Eve? Wouldn’t even say Merry Christmas. Who does that to their own kid?” Sara was so broken that night. At the time I was almost grateful since that was the moment she let down the last wall she built around herself and let me in, but I loathed seeing her that devastated.
“You know,” I huffed and lifted my eyes to the ceiling, trying to figure out what the hell to do. “She acts so tough. Never needs any help, can go it alone, but . . .” I trailed off, sick to my stomach at the thought of her on a train by herself, mourning parents who weren’t worth a second of her time.
“She can’t.” Lisa laughed and shook her head. “Not this time. She’s used to being the caretaker with no support. The only family she has is her daughter. When I first met her, she was almost surprised I wanted to be her friend. As if she couldn’t understand why anyone would waste their time on her.” She frowned and let out an audible sigh. “Broke my heart a little for her.”
“Mine too,” I agreed, staring off into space as I searched for an answer I didn’t have. “She thinks of herself as a burden, so me and my stupid choice of words the other day nailed that point across to her,” I snickered. “She doesn’t want to see me.”
“Do you still love her?”
My head snapped in her direction. “Of course, I do. I miss her so much I can’t even function.”
She reached into her purse and handed me a piece of paper. “Then fight for her. Show her she’s worth it. This is the name of the funeral home and information about the services. I asked her to text me when she found out, so I could send something.” She offered a sad shrug. “She was too out of it to tell I was lying.” She closed my fingers around the paper and squeezed. “She shouldn’t go through this alone. I would go but I’m not who she wants. You’re the only one that can get her through this. Think about it.”
I didn’t turn to Lisa’s footfalls as she sauntered out of the lab. I plopped into the chair behind the desk, my breaths quick and heavy as if something barreled over me. I unfolded the paper and looked it over. The funeral was the day after tomorrow. It was enough time for me to find someone to cover the lab, dig out the only black suit I owned, and head down to Queens. The fight we had and the time apart didn’t matter. She had me whether she liked it or not. I wasn’t budging or going anywhere. My only issue was how to not do ninety down the highway to get to her.
I pulled out my phone and shot a text to my boss telling him I had to have someone cover my shift or close the lab.
My place was with Sara. Always with Sara. I’d finally make her see she was worth it. She could try to push me away as much as she wanted, but I wasn’t going anywhere—ever.