It was a toss-up as to whether Maisie got the lowdown on the Italian first or Jess heard it on the Scilly grapevine as the rumour mill went into overdrive. Maisie won and the very next day was on the phone with everything she’d gleaned from one of the Petroc staff who’d dropped into the Driftwood Inn. As Jess had suspected, Patrick didn’t have a clue about the newcomer and was more interested in how Will was getting on with the Athene and preparing the Gull Island gig ready for the island championships over the Bank Holiday weekend in May.
‘He is Italian by birth. No surprise there, then,’ said Maisie gleefully down the phone. ‘His name is Luca Parisi but he’s been living in London for ages, hence the accent. Most importantly, he appears to be single, although I haven’t had that confirmed yet. The bad news, I’m afraid, is that he’s only here for a few days, according to my source, because he’s involved in some kind of marketing initiative with Hugo. Sorry I don’t have more positive news.’
‘You can’t win them all,’ joked Jess, enjoying Maisie’s attempts to play Sherlock and Cupid at the same time. She hadn’t really expected ‘Luca’ to stay or even to ever speak to him again, but he had been on her mind in the last twenty-four hours more often than she had expected. That was probably down to curiosity more than anything else. Adam was on her mind about fifty times more.
*
However, even Adam took a back seat over the weekend when a fog rolled in during the early hours of Saturday morning. The forecasters said it could last for days and on Saturday, all the planes to and from Scilly were grounded. There were never any flights on Sunday, so the farm was obviously used to that, but if none went out on Monday, a nightmare scenario could develop. Prolonged fog wasn’t a great scenario at the best of times, but couldn’t have come at a worse time with Mother’s Day just around the corner. Orders were meant to be on their way to wholesalers and customers the length and breadth of Britain throughout the following week. Each bloom had been specifically nurtured to be at its best for the day itself, so Will activated the contingency plan. The picked blooms were carefully packed and stored into every corner of the fridge to prevent them from opening too soon, ready for dispatch the moment flying resumed. Fingers crossed that it did …
Jess said a silent prayer when strong winds blew in on Monday morning and cleared the mists sooner than forecast. Over the next few days, everyone busted a gut to make sure the backlog of orders was sent on its way, with endless trips to and from the quay and St Mary’s.
By the end of the week, all of the orders for Mother’s Day had left the farm and the exhausted crew were able to breathe. Jess took herself off for a long hot bubble bath and a large glass of wine and her thoughts turned to the handsome Luca again.
She allowed herself a few moments to wonder ‘what if?’ It was pure fantasy, but she felt she had to make herself think about relationships after Adam. It wasn’t healthy to imagine she’d never meet anyone else. Maisie and her mother had urged her to get out and meet new people, even if they were only passing through, and Luca Parisi was easy on the eye. She shook her head. He was far too easy on the eye, and if he flew back and forth between London and Petroc Resort on business, he probably led the sort of glamorous life that meant he wouldn’t be interested in a flower farmer. Besides, he was probably long gone by now and back in the metropolis.
*
Everyone heaved a huge sigh of relief when Saturday came and the staff took a well-earned weekend off. Jess and Will took their mother out for lunch on St Mary’s on Sunday. She thought of Gaby who had flown home on Friday morning to spend Mother’s Day with her family, and also to mark the first anniversary of Stevie’s death. Jess felt desperately sorry for them all and wondered how they were coping, but she said nothing to anyone else, to respect Gaby’s privacy.
On Monday morning, Jess needed to sort out the quarterly VAT return so she took advantage of the lull to make a start, even though it was her least favourite task. She might treat herself to an afternoon at the St Saviour’s hotel spa once she’d cracked this bloody VAT. She deserved it after their manic week. There was only Easter to get through in a few weeks’ time and then the main narcissi season would be over.
‘Arghh!’ She threw up her hands in frustration when the figures she’d entered into the spreadsheet vanished inexplicably. Oh God, that was all she needed after all her hard work. After trying to recover the figures to no avail, panic had set in. She’d have to get the office manager, Lawrence, to help sort it when he came back from his trip to the flower farm co-operative on St Mary’s.
‘All things bright and bee-oo-tiful …’
Jess glanced up from the desktop. There was only one person who sang hymns on their way to work and it wasn’t the vicar. Seconds later, the new post lady, Carmel, laughed and stepped inside, breathing heavily after carting the mail bag from the van to the office. Carmel brought the regular post from the airport to the smaller ‘off islands’ like St Saviour’s. It still felt strange to greet a new face every morning instead of Adam.
‘Morning, Jess. How’s it going? Busy time? Those fields are glorious.’
‘They are. With Mother’s Day just finished and Easter coming around, it’s pretty hectic. How about you? Enjoying your new round?’
‘It’s a contrast from Walthamstow, that’s for sure.’
‘You’re not finding it too quiet?’
‘Being on Scilly still seems like a holiday at the moment. The kids think so too, even though they’re at school. They can’t get over being able to run down to the beach straight from the school gates and they think it’s the coolest thing ever that my round includes a boat and a quad bike. I must admit it’s a bit of a shock that they turn off the street lights at night, but at least the kids can see the stars. I’m not sure they knew there were any in London.’
Jess laughed, remembering the wonder of some of the seasonal workers at the dark and beautiful night skies on St Saviour’s where there were no street lights at all. Carmel and the rest of the Cooke family had moved to Scilly from the East End after Adam had moved away.
‘I’ve a bundle for you today,’ said Carmel, sliding the bag from her shoulder and onto the floor. A couple of the letters spilled out and Jess helped her pick them up. Jess handed the post to Carmel but kept a couple. ‘I think you missed this one. It’s for Gaby Carter.’
‘Oh, thanks,’ said Carmel. ‘I’m still finding my feet here. Here’s the rest of the farm mail.’
She handed a stack of mail secured with an elastic band to Jess. It held a mix of manila and pastel-coloured envelopes, plus junk mail.
‘Do you have time for a cuppa? There’s one in the pot,’ Jess said. She hoped that some miracle with the VAT spreadsheets would happen while she took a breather, or that she’d come up with a way to recover them.
Carmel hesitated then said, ‘If it’s made, I’d love a very quick one. Milk and one sugar, please.’
Jess poured out a mug of tea, added milk and a spoon of sugar and handed it to Carmel who sipped it with a sigh of pleasure. Jess had seen Adam unloading the mail boat many times and dragging the trailer of post up the slipway to his van, so she knew it was hard work and Adam was twice Carmel’s size and fifteen years younger. While Carmel ate a homemade flapjack brought in from the island café, they chatted about how she was settling in to her new life.
‘I hope you’re happy with the deliveries. Adam left big shoes to fill,’ said Carmel.
Jess had heard this more than once from people all over the island. ‘It’s sometimes nice to have different shoes,’ she said, wondering if Carmel had heard that she and Adam used to be an item. It was possible that the new post lady didn’t know yet, which suited Jess.
‘He was very popular,’ Carmel said, a little unsurely.
‘Yes, but you’re doing a great job. I hope you’ll stay. We could do with some new faces around here,’ said Jess, guessing that Carmel must have found it more difficult to adjust to island life than she let on. Adam had found it a challenge at first too, he’d once admitted to Jess. She found herself wondering where he was now, and what he was doing. Was he working up in Cumbria?
‘I plan on giving it my best shot and, anyway, we’ve burnt all our bridges. This has to work.’ Carmel took a bite of flapjack and Jess sipped her tea. When she’d finished the cake, Carmel’s broad smile was back in place. ‘I need to get on with my round, but can I use your loo first?’
‘Course you can.’
Carmel picked up her bag. ‘I’ll collect your mail now and see you tomorrow.’
‘Thanks.’
After Carmel had left, Jess shut the door and separated the staff post from the Godrevys’ family and business mail. At the bottom of the pile, there was a white envelope addressed by hand to Jess Godrevy, Flower Farm, Scilly, with Personal scrawled in the top left-hand corner and underlined so strongly that the ballpoint had almost pierced the paper.
It was Adam’s handwriting.
Her heart almost jumped out of her chest. She pulled out two folded sheets of paper.
Dear Jess,
I’m sorry I’ve left it so long to send this letter. I’ve written and rewritten it so many times. I’ve thought about sending it almost as many times too, but I think I owe you some explanation for why I left. I ought to have said this stuff to you face-to-face, but please believe me when I say things have been difficult for me. I can’t explain any more than that, but I swear, I’ve tried to handle things better but leaving seemed the only solution. There are things I have to sort out at home. Things only I can deal with and that I can’t share for all kinds of reasons. I don’t want you to take them on too.
If the good times we’ve had make you smile, then remember them. I’m so sorry there have been only bad ones over the past few months. It tore me apart to leave and I only hope that it’s not as bloody awful for you and that, somehow, I’m wrong about the way you feel for me.
I never ever set out to hurt you. Knowing that I might be causing you pain makes me feel sick to my stomach. There’s no one else. I can at least reassure you of that.
Unlike me, you’re strong, so I know you’ll get through this and I hope you’ll find someone who deserves you a lot more than I ever have.
Adam x
She read it three more times and felt even more shaken and confused than before. Why had he sent it to her now? Over the past months, she’d longed for some explanation, but now she had the letter, it left far more questions than it explained.
Tears wet her face but Jess hastily wiped them away as she heard Lawrence outside the door, whistling as he crossed the yard. He didn’t come into the office which was a relief but she still needed him to help with the VAT. Shrugging on her fleece as she left, she hurried out to speak to him and take the mail down to the fields. She might feel crap, but she could at least bring a smile to people’s faces by delivering the post in person.