Will had homed in on Adam who was chatting to his family on the promenade a few yards away. Jess was surprised to see Keri and Emmy but guessed they must be visiting for the holiday weekend, but her main concern now was that Will clearly intended to persuade Adam to make up their crew.
‘No … You wouldn’t …’
‘I’ll be back in five.’ Will patted her arm and headed off in Adam’s direction.
‘I have to go after him!’ Jess told Luca and darted off before he could even reply. However, Will was already halfway up the steps to the prom about to be met by Adam at the top. Jess threw her hands in the air. ‘Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.’
A few rowers glanced at her but immediately went back to the business of preparing their boats. Jess was surrounded by more people than she’d ever seen on Scilly, yet felt completely alone. She should go back to Luca: could see his head at the centre of a knot of Petroc rowers. She’d left him abruptly and rudely and he didn’t deserve that.
But having Adam in their crew? It was too much.
She’d seen him around St Saviour’s several times since their conversation on the beach. It was impossible not to have come across him, but they hadn’t spoken again beyond a nod or a muttered hello and he hadn’t said anything about Keri and Emmy coming back. Not that it was any of her business now. Over the past couple of weeks, she’d carried on seeing Luca, and stayed over on Petroc several times. Luca was as charming as ever and had listened thoughtfully when she’d told him who Keri and Emmy really were. It was tough on Adam, he’d said, but if he’d wondered if the situation might affect their fledging relationship, he hadn’t shared his fears with Jess.
Knowing Adam was on the island had made it harder to ‘carry on as normal’ with Luca, but Jess kept reminding herself that her relationship with Adam had effectively been over since the previous autumn. Life had to go on: for everyone’s sake, Adam had been clear enough about that when he’d spoken to her. Adam joining the crew for one race shouldn’t have meant anything but it did and it felt way too close for comfort.
In despair, she turned away and trudged back to the boat. Luca was still there.
‘I didn’t mean to snap. It’s a fraught time with Will so hellbent on us doing this race and Lawrence’s accident and …’
‘And seeing Adam again.’ He slipped his arm around her. ‘It must be strange to see him back here.’
‘Everything changes. I have to accept that.’ She smiled. ‘I’m a grown-up.’
‘Not everything has to change … I plan on staying the rest of the summer until my contract runs out and then … I was going to tell you this after the race, but Hugo’s been hinting at a permanent position as marketing director for the resort. I could take it.’
Jess was taken aback that Luca might want to stay on. She’d been enjoying their fling but never expected it to go on any longer. ‘But your home’s in London. Even working at Petroc can’t be as prestigious or lucrative as your freelance business.’
‘It gives me more security and it’s further away from Rachel. Not that I need to run away, but perhaps the balance in favour of a fresh start has shifted recently.’ He trailed his hand down Jess’s back.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Will and Adam engaged in heated conversation.
‘You wouldn’t be happy in this small place, Luca. You belong to a big sophisticated world.’ She didn’t really know him, she thought, despite their nights at the resort.
He laughed. ‘Sophisticated? The truth is, I don’t know where I belong since Rachel and I split up. My whole world and future were turned on their heads and I’m guessing yours were too, but we should both focus on the here and now.’
He was right, thought Jess, but it was the wrong time for this kind of conversation.
‘If we’re focusing on the now, I’m supposed to find another crew member and I’d rather it wasn’t Adam. You can’t help, can you?’
‘If I wasn’t committed to our boat already, I swear I would, but it’s not possible. My own crew are all taken too and keen to win the race. And I can’t think of anyone else. I don’t know the other crews like you do.’
Jess scanned the crowds. Some were pushing their boats towards the water ready to row to the start line.
‘Damn. Will wanted to do this so much, even though …’ She was about to say, we’ll be thrashed … ‘Oh, God, no.’
Adam was kissing Emmy on the cheek. She looked excited but Keri looked confused. Will slapped Adam on the back.
‘What?’ asked Luca.
‘I think Adam’s actually agreed.’
‘You’re joking.’
‘I wish I was. I really do. Bloody bloody men.’
‘All of them?’ Luca pulled her to him. ‘Don’t answer that.’ Before she could stop him, he kissed her. A wonderful passionate kiss but one she’d have preferred to happen in private and not under the eyes of scores of rowers and half the island. Not under the eyes of Adam, who couldn’t possibly have failed to see it.
Jess broke away. ‘We both have to get to our boats,’ she muttered, confused and angry, with Will, with Luca and with Adam – and herself for still giving a toss what Adam thought.
‘Good luck!’ he called. ‘See you after the race.’
Jess didn’t reply, but ran to the boat as the water seethed and splashed with gigs and rowers rushing to the start.
*
Adam had disappeared temporarily – presumably to borrow some rowing kit – as Will jogged back to the boat.
Jess grabbed him. ‘What have you done?’
‘It’s either that or we quit,’ he said brusquely.
She dug her fingers in deeper. ‘Then we’ll have to quit.’
‘We can’t do that. You don’t have to even look at him, let alone speak to him.’
‘Then I’m not rowing. You’ll have to find another woman for the boat.’
He gasped. ‘At twenty minutes’ notice? Don’t be daft.’
‘I’m not being “daft”. It’s you that’s being silly, putting me and Adam in the same boat.’
‘If I had any other choice, I wouldn’t, but please, can you put up with him for this race and then I promise that will be it. There’s no chance of us winning anyway so you won’t have to step up and get a trophy with him and I doubt very much if he’ll join us at the pub, do you?’ Will said in a gentler tone.
Jess knew she was overreacting. She also knew that Adam being in their boat might give rise to speculation. She glanced over to the quayside where Keri was handing an ice cream to Emmy. The little girl took it carefully, a huge smile on her face. Jess saw that Luca was deep in conversation with his team. No one was taking any notice of her or Adam.
‘OK, but only because it means so much to you and everyone else. I’m sorry for lashing out at you.’
‘It’s fine and I am sorry it had to be him. Now, I have to go and see how the team are. Adam’s borrowing some stuff from a mate. He’ll be here any second.’
Jess said nothing. ‘Gaby’s wetting herself with nerves. You should have a word with her.’
‘She’ll be OK.’
‘She’s only doing it for you.’
‘If I believed that then I’d pull us out of the race myself. But she’s done well to get this far.’
‘Better than you expected?’
‘No. I always expected her to make it through. After the way she’s fitted in here, I’ve learned not to underestimate her.’
It was the frankest admission Jess had heard about Gaby. ‘Will. Be careful …’ she said.
‘I’m not sure what you mean and anyway being careful never got anyone anywhere, did it? We’d never have stuck with the farm. You’d never have taken a chance on Luca. Forget it now, we have to push off.’
There was mayhem as crews climbed into their gigs and pushed off from the shore. The loudspeakers blared out announcements and, on the quay, Emmy danced excitedly. Will herded everyone to their seats and scrambled aboard himself, but Jess lingered on shore as the boat bobbed at the edge of the water. Gaby’s face was white with terror as she gripped her oar. Robbie and Natalia were glancing around them nervously. Len was muttering to Will. Everyone was now ready for the off except her and Adam, who was shin deep, holding the boat steady, and waiting for her to move. They had to leave this instant.
‘Jess. For God’s sake, can you get in so Adam can push us off?’ Will bellowed from the boat.
Snapping out of her trance, Jess splashed into the water, the surf lapping her ankles. She tried not to even glance at Adam in his rowing kit, lean and long-limbed but she couldn’t help but note that even though he’d lost weight, he still had a powerful effect on her. Will roared instructions to the other rowers, warning them about the conditions. Len piled in with helpful comments about how they’d need to row for their lives to be in with a fighting chance. Will tried to calm things down while Jess struggled to scramble on board.
‘Careful,’ Adam warned as he held the boat to stop it from bucking in the waves created by the wash of a marshal’s jet boat.
‘I don’t need a hand.’
‘I know that.’ He lowered his voice, and spoke close to her ear while Will and Len had a heated debate about the course. ‘I didn’t ask for this. I told Will it was a shit idea, but he wouldn’t listen. I should probably have backed out, but he put me in an impossible position.’
‘I could have pulled out too when I found out, so we’re quits on that. We’re both doing this because Will’s desperate and we don’t want to let anyone down.’
Adam hesitated, struggle etched on his features. ‘Look. You told me not to hassle you and I didn’t want to start something I dreaded finishing. I’ve wrestled with this, but there’s something else that I should have told you on the beach. I wanted to tell you …’
The loudspeakers blared.
‘Something else? What do you mean?’ Her heart thudded like mad.
‘For fuck’s sake, we have to go now!’ barked Will, switching his attention to them. ‘Get in or we won’t make the start line!’
Jess finally scrambled in and grabbed her oar. Adam gave the boat a push and jumped into the seat in front of Jess. She hadn’t even rowed to the start yet she felt drained of energy.
‘Good luck!’ Luca shouted from the next boat. He blew her a kiss.
Jess threw him a quick smile that vanished the moment they were off. She started rowing.
‘Pull!’ shouted Len. ‘Can we please have everyone actually bloody rowing at the same time!’
‘What’s the matter? What don’t I know?’ Jess called down Adam’s ear. She knew she should focus on the race but Adam’s words echoed through her mind.
‘Slow!’ Len ordered as they made their way carefully between other crews.
Adam twisted round for a second. ‘I wanted to tell you before but I didn’t have the courage, but now, seeing you around, I can’t leave you in the dark. When Will asked me to join the crew, I realised it was fate that we’re together in this boat.’
Jess thought back to her taunt and felt sick. Adam was – used to be – the kindest, bravest man she’d ever known. ‘What do you mean, fate?’
‘Right. Let’s at least make the start,’ Len barked, shooting Jess and Adam an evil glare. ‘And can you all please save your breath for the bloody race.’
They rowed away from the shore. Soon Jess couldn’t speak, as they made their way towards the buoy that marked the start line. But she could think, and only one thought swirled through her mind: what other bombshells did Adam have in store?