‘You won’t find the answers in that tea, you know.’
Jess glanced up from the breakfast table the next morning as Will pushed a rack of toast towards her.
‘Eat up. We’ve a busy day ahead.’
‘Yeah.’ She sipped her tea and scraped butter onto the piece of toast, and nibbled the corner.
Will lavished butter on another triangle and crunched a corner. He washed it down with a glug of tea and then speared a rasher of bacon from the dish to add to the fried egg and tomatoes on his plate. She’d noticed he’d cooked it how she liked: crispy, but she couldn’t face any of it and the excess of Prosecco from the previous evening wasn’t wholly to blame.
Will started to cut up the bacon. ‘How was your date?’ he asked.
‘OK.’
‘Only OK?’
Jess smiled. ‘It was good. Luca’s a lot nicer than you give him credit for. You should get to know him better.’
‘Yeah. Maybe. So, is he going to be my brother-in-law?’
Jess rolled her eyes. ‘Don’t start that. I’m waiting for Mum to start planning the floral arrangements. Have you told her I saw Luca last night yet?’
He grinned. ‘No. I thought I’d leave that pleasure to you.’
‘Thanks, dear brother. I love you too.’
Jess nibbled her toast while Will tackled his full English, debating whether to tell him she’d seen Adam. She’d lain awake for ages after she’d got back to the farm with Adam’s words ringing in her ears. ‘I saw you with him.’ The irony and injustice of it had seared into her. How dare he judge her for seeing another man after he’d left with no explanation and turned up with an unknown woman and child? What kind of arrogance made him think he was entitled to do that? How could he care who she saw or what she did after such a betrayal of trust?
Will was pouring out the remains of the tea from the pot. It was rusty orange and strong, but he didn’t seem to mind.
‘I think you ought to know that I saw Adam yesterday,’ he said. ‘I bumped into him walking from the quay to Thrift Cottage. I – um – was on my way for a pint in the hotel bar; I didn’t want to cramp your style by hanging round the Gannet.’
Jess opened her mouth to speak but Will got in first.
‘Before you ask, he was on his own and, no, I didn’t ask him about this Keri and Emmy.’
‘Did you speak to him at all?’ Jess asked.
‘He muttered “hello”, I grunted something back and then I went on my way before things got any more complicated. Put yourself in my shoes. He was my mate once and then he dumped my sister and has apparently turned up with a wife and child in tow. Some people say that men have short memories when it comes to friends, but there’s no coming back from what he’s done. Family always comes first, Jess. No matter what you think.’
‘I do know that. Thanks.’
‘By the way, you looked very er … smart last night. Even though Luca doesn’t deserve you, either.’
‘Why don’t you like him?’ said Jess, amused and quite touched by Will’s attempts to be nice.
‘Because he likes himself too much. If that bloke was an ice cream, he’d lick himself to death.’
Jess had to smile. ‘You’re only jealous that he beat us in the gig race.’
‘Yes I am. I’m completely pissed off. However, it gives me even more motivation to work you all extra hard. Don’t forget there’s a practice session for the Mixed tonight.’
Jess groaned. ‘You really are cracking the whip. We’re all shattered.’
‘No excuses,’ said Will with a grin, then hesitated before adding, ‘For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re seeing someone else, even if it is the Tool.’
‘Hey, thanks,’ said Jess, a little peeved at his comments about Luca but knowing that his heart was in the right place. ‘Now you can stop worrying that he’s seeing Gaby,’ she added.
He snorted. ‘What gave you that idea?’
‘The delight on your face when you realised he’d come to take me out.’
‘Don’t be silly,’ he said but Jess knew he was squirming.
‘You can’t fool me. I’m your twin sister, remember.’ Jess took an inner breath before she spoke again, worried about Will’s reaction. ‘By the way, you’re not the only one who saw Adam last night.’
Will’s mug paused halfway to his mouth. ‘Where?’
‘Outside the Gannet after Luca had gone. He was in the bushes and stepped out in front of me.’
‘Jesus. He hasn’t hurt you, has he?’
‘Of course not!’
Will thumped his mug onto the table. ‘He’d better not come near the farm. Do you want me to warn him off?’
‘No. I can fight my own battles, though thanks for the thought. Adam would never hurt me – not in that way – but he didn’t like seeing me with Luca. He made that plain enough.’
‘It’s none of his fucking business.’
‘That’s what I told him.’ Jess winced as she remembered her exchange with Adam. ‘Sort of. Neither of our love lives are perfect, are they?’
‘Mine’s non-existent.’ Will put a piece of toast on her plate. ‘Eat up. I agree with Mum on one thing. You need feeding up. You deserve to be happy.’
She was touched. ‘Thanks. I mean it but sadly the world doesn’t owe us happiness. We have to go out and find it … not so easy when your world is as small as ours, no matter how idyllic other people may think it is.’
*
Jess was relieved to have no more sightings of Adam before her date with Luca at the Rose & Crab. Despite its name, the place was far more like a posh restaurant than a pub, so she’d decided to go for the short-sleeved wrap dress that she’d bought for her cousin’s wedding. With a leather jacket over the top instead of the cropped cardigan she’d worn to the wedding, it was a good compromise between smart and casual.
She’d accepted Luca’s offer to have the Petroc jet boat meet her at the jetty and as she waited on the quay, alone, butterflies stirred in the pit of her stomach. This wasn’t her first date with Luca so she knew what to expect, but there was also a big difference: her overnight bag sat on the quay beside her, reminding her that she wouldn’t be home that night.
She tried to calm her nerves by walking up and down in the evening sun, enjoying the sight of seals playing just off shore. They popped up their heads and watched her curiously before diving back down under the waves, almost as if they knew where she was going and how she was feeling. The only signs of human life were a fishing boat out in the bay and the chug of a tractor from one of the fields behind the beach.
Jess checked her phone and strained her ears: the jet boat would be here soon. She’d feel better once she was on her way.
She picked up her bag, anticipating the low throb of the high-powered engine barrelling across the sea, but her heart sank when Adam appeared from between the gig sheds. It was inevitable she’d see him again, but why did it have to be now?
‘Jess …’ He waited a few feet away from her and the evening sun highlighted how gaunt he looked in his face.
‘Adam, I don’t want a row.’
‘I’m not looking for one.’ His eyes strayed to her bag and back to her face. ‘Are you going out?’ he said warily.
‘Isn’t it obvious?’ Jess gripped her overnight case. She felt like a criminal trying to get away with the loot. ‘I don’t think that’s any of your business.’
He nodded then took an interest in the cobbles on the quay for a few seconds. ‘I’m sorry for the way I kicked off the other night. It was wrong of me.’
‘I don’t care. What’s past is past.’ Jess tried to keep her tone firm but calm. The jet boat was now in sight and she didn’t have long before she could escape. What a horrible thought that was: yearning to escape from the man she used to long to be with.
‘I can see that.’ He inclined his head to her overnight bag,
She cracked. ‘If you had something to say to me, you should have said it long ago. No matter what your reasons for going, and it’s obvious what they were, it doesn’t matter now. If you’d told me you had a partner and a child, I’d have hated it, but I’d have accepted it. It was the … the silence that did the real damage. There’s no coming back from that. Your place is with Keri and Emmy now. They need you and and I need to move on.’
The jet boat engine quietened as it approached the quay.
‘Sounds as if you’ve already made up your mind about me,’ he said.
He sounded so forlorn that she almost felt sorry for him but her pity passed quickly. ‘Leave me alone, Adam. I’m going for dinner and I don’t want my evening ruined.’
‘I don’t intend to. I’ve caused enough trouble …’ He hesitated. ‘But sometimes things aren’t as simple as they look.’
‘Please, Adam, no excuses, no more lies.’
‘I haven’t told you any lies.’
‘Right now, I feel as if our whole relationship was a lie.’
He pressed his lips together but didn’t deny it and fortunately the boat pulled up alongside the quay. She approached the boat, trying to pretend he wasn’t there. She had to put down her bag as the skipper shouted and threw a rope to her. She caught it and looped it around the cleat.
‘Evening, Jess. Your chariot awaits,’ he said. ‘Evening, Adam.’
‘Evening, mate,’ Adam replied, and handed Jess her bag. ‘You’ll be needing this.’
She took it, her fingers brushing his knuckles. ‘Thanks,’ she muttered and immediately gave it to Jem before climbing on board.
Adam untied the rope and threw it to Jess. She muttered a thanks, wanting Jem to see her and Adam on civil terms. He was one of the more discreet people around, but she didn’t want to wash any more dirty laundry in public than she already had.
She sat in the stern with her bag on her lap. It was impossible not to see Adam as the skipper pulled away from the quay. He watched her, his arms folded across his broad chest, like a stone statue that had been there for centuries. It was difficult not to sense he was judging her, yet he was the one in the wrong.
She calmed her breathing as the boat speeded up and Adam grew smaller. She had to forget she’d even seen him tonight, but kept turning his words over and over.
‘Sometimes things aren’t as simple as they look.’ Perhaps she should have listened, but she didn’t have time and she hadn’t wanted her evening ruined. Besides, nothing he could say would change her feelings of anger and hurt. Could it?
She swore under her breath and turned away from him, holding onto the rail as the spray flew over the bow and Petroc came into view. She wouldn’t think about Adam. Luca didn’t deserve that and she didn’t deserve to have the evening ruined. She was more determined than ever that tonight would mark a new phase in her life.
*
‘How’s your fish?’
Jess glanced up from the table to find Luca watching her. ‘Sorry?’
‘I asked how your bream was.’
She pushed her fork into the white meat of the fish and forced a smile. ‘It’s delicious.’
‘Phew. Good because I was wondering if it was off. You’ve hardly touched it.’
She saw the fillet lying in its bright saffron sauce on the white china plate, still almost intact. ‘Sorry. I guess I’m a bit nervous.’
The truth was that she couldn’t shake off her encounter with Adam, no matter how hard she tried.
Luca had acted like the perfect gentleman in the cottage, leaving her bag on the sofa and suggesting they go for a cocktail in the Petroc Bar before their meal. As they’d sipped pre-dinner mojitos on the deck of the bar overlooking the channel between Petroc Island and Gull, she’d tried to relax. She could see the familiar sight of the lights twinkling on the terrace of the Driftwood Inn opposite. Maisie, Patrick and all her friends didn’t seem so far away. She’d spent many nights in there with Adam before it had all gone wrong. Laughing, joking, singing along to bands …
‘I think our table’s ready.’ Luca cut into her thoughts and a waitress approached with two menus.
‘Great. I’m starving,’ said Jess, pushing her memories away with a smile and hoping that her appetite would improve once she sat down to dinner.
‘Are you sure you don’t want to order something else?’ Luca’s voice was tinged with concern as he spoke to her across the table a while later.
‘No. No this is fabulous. I’m sorry. I was miles away.’ She carved off a chunk of fish and shoved it in her mouth. It was a lovely meal but she was still not that hungry despite what she’d told him. ‘Mm. This sea bream is really delicious.’
Looking happier, Luca topped up her glass with the New Zealand Pinot Gris he’d chosen. She’d almost choked when she’d seen the price but didn’t want to seem unsophisticated by protesting. Besides, hadn’t Luca said he was on expenses? And Maisie would love the thought of Jess dining and drinking at Hugo Scorrier’s expense. Not, strictly speaking, that Hugo was the owner of Petroc, but he was certainly responsible for its profits. Jess had to stifle a laugh and started coughing as she found a tiny fish bone.
‘Are you OK?’
‘Y-yes.’ She reached for the water glass but it was almost empty.
He filled it swiftly from a jug, his face concerned. He really was ridiculously handsome. She hadn’t been too nervous to miss the envious glances from the other people in the Rose & Crab’s dining room. She stopped coughing and dabbed her mouth with the napkin.
He shook his head, still worried. ‘Man, I’m going to have to stop asking women out for dinner if I put them off their food and almost choke them.’
Jess felt a rush of sympathy for him. ‘I’ve hardly been the best date so far, have I? But this is new for me. It’s the first time since I split up with my ex.’
‘Ah, I see. Would that be the postman?’
She gasped. ‘Oh my God. The gossip round here is terrible!’
‘I’m sorry. Hugo told me …’ Luca lowered his voice. ‘This is very unprofessional and he may be my client, but I do take what he tells me with a large pinch of salt. On the other hand, I’d also heard a whisper about this Adam Pengelly from a member of the gig crew. I’d no idea that you hadn’t been out with anyone since he left though. It must have been tough to go through a break-up in the full glare of the Scilly spotlight.’
‘Tell me about it.’ Her courage rose: she knew almost nothing about Luca’s personal life so now was her chance. ‘What about you?’
‘I split up with my ex a few months ago,’ he said. ‘Actually, we’re getting a divorce.’
‘Oh. I didn’t know you were married.’
‘It was over some time ago and we’ve finally decided to make a clean break after several trial separations. Rachel’s virtually moved in with another guy now in London. You won’t have heard, because I don’t discuss my private life if I can possibly help it …’ He glanced round him and grimaced. ‘So maybe asking you to your local and now mine wasn’t the best idea.’
‘I don’t really know where we could have gone for any privacy, short of jetting off with a takeaway to some windswept corner of one of the uninhabited islands,’ said Jess, slightly taken aback by the news that Luca was still married, even if the relationship was obviously over from what he’d told her.
Luca raised an eyebrow. ‘Sounds like a great idea to me … by the way you look gorgeous. Again.’
Warmth flushed from Jess’s cheeks down her neck to her cleavage. She took a glug of the Pinot Gris and realised the bottle was almost empty. ‘I don’t think my own mother even recognised me out of wellies,’ she said, making a joke of the compliment.
‘I don’t know. I rather like you in wellies too. Shall we get another of these overpriced bottles of white?’ Luca said and lowered his voice. ‘Familiarising myself with all aspects of Petroc’s customer service is all part of my job.’
She laughed, feeling the tension ease. ‘If it’s work, and Hugo’s paying, then why not?’
*
‘Coffee? A nightcap? I’ve got some very good grappa in here … I can even rustle up some decent coffee and amaretti.’
Luca stood behind the counter in the open plan kitchen of the holiday cottage that was his temporary home. Although it was called a cottage, it had actually been recently built to match the local houses dotted around Petroc’s rolling countryside and tiny harbour. It was situated at the end of a row on a headland whose pink granite rocks glowed in the setting sun. Even by Scilly standards, the views were incredible from his patio, with no sign of human life other than a lighthouse on a rocky islet a mile away: just the open sea and islands inhabited only by seabirds.
Jess sank back on the sofa, almost swallowed up by the squidgy leather cushions. ‘I shouldn’t. I’m so full after that wonderful meal.’
He rolled his eyes. ‘“I shouldn’t” almost always means “I want to but I feel burdened by some misplaced sense of Anglo-Saxon guilt.” I’ll put the machine on and get the drinks.’
Half an hour later, the only trace of the grappa was the hint of amber in the bottom of the glasses, glinting in the soft light of the table lamps. ‘I shouldn’t’ had turned into ‘I should have two’ and Jess was sitting with her feet up on the sofa in Luca’s lap. One of his arms dangled over the arm of the sofa, bare below his rolled-up shirt sleeves. His other hand rested on the top of her bare feet. The heels she’d changed into after getting off the boat lay on the rug. She hadn’t noticed how she’d come to be in that position, and watched in surprise as he started to massage her sole gently.
‘How does that feel?’ he asked, circling his thumb around the ball of her foot with just enough pressure to relieve the tension but not hurt. Her legs gleamed in the lamplight, the result of an eye-watering home wax session and a tub of luxury body butter Maisie had given her for Christmas. Her toes were painted in a shell pink. If only he could have seen those feet the previous day, encased in fishermen’s socks and wellies. She giggled. ‘OK?’
‘Mmm. It tickles a bit.’ She shifted in her seat. Luca laughed. Jess laughed too.
‘Try to relax,’ he said, caressing the blade of her foot in languid, deft strokes. Jess had the feeling she was being handled by an expert … even after the wine and grappa, he knew exactly what he was doing. Knew what she was doing too.
Adam hadn’t intruded into her thoughts since she’d left the restaurant: a good hour. That surprised her … and she was disappointed that he’d found his way into her mind now. She lay back on the cushion and closed her eyes as Luca’s fingers circled her ankle and his hand skated over the smooth skin of her shin.
She tried to chill out and just let things happen while his fingers skated higher, resting on her thigh under the hem of her dress. She tensed slightly but she was definitely turned on. He slid his hand down her leg to her shin again.
‘Jess. Do you want to take this upstairs?’
Her eyes opened and she burst out laughing.
Luca stared at her. She felt the pressure of his fingers increase slightly. ‘What have I said?’
Jess flushed deeply, not that she wasn’t already warm. ‘Taking it upstairs … Oh …’
‘What?’
‘I c-can’t say.’ She stifled a giggle.
Luca grabbed her ankle and started tickling her foot.
‘No!’ she shrieked, trying to wriggle away.
His fingers danced over her sole.
‘No! Please!’
‘Sorry. No can do.’ He ran a finger from toe to heel and Jess squirmed and cried out.
‘OK. OK! It’s the innuendo. Like something we used to say at school. Take it upstairs when you were talking about what a boy wanted to do.’
‘Ah …’ Luca kept hold of her foot but stopped tickling. ‘I see.’ He gently pushed her feet off his lap and pulled her to her feet. ‘Well, however you want to look at it, as a euphemism or not, I do want to take this upstairs. I want – very much – to take you to bed and I hope you feel the same way.’
Pulled to her feet so unexpectedly, she felt a little light-headed and swayed. Luca had his arms around her waist. She realised that she felt shaky, and not only from the wine. He leaned close to her face, took it in his hands and kissed her softly and carefully. He smelt as gorgeous as he looked. Just a hint of some sinfully expensive aftershave, of Italian digestif and a freshly laundered shirt.
‘Well?’ he said.
‘I think I want to …’
‘Think isn’t enough. And if you’re still on the rebound from the postman …’
‘Don’t call him that,’ she said, slightly hurt by his tone.
‘From Adam, then. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to belittle him and I’m not going to be the one to tell you to move on. Only you can know when it’s time, but it has been many months, Jessica. And he left you.’
‘I don’t need you to tell me that. I know how long it’s been …’ He was right about it being a long time since Adam had gone and about him leaving her and being back with another woman, Jess was insane to even hesitate about tonight. About all of tonight.
She removed Luca’s hands from her waist and stepped back from him.
His face fell – momentarily, disappointment and surprise filled his eyes – but then he held up his hands as if in surrender and said, ‘Fair enough. I’d never put you under any pressure. I’ll take the sofa. You can have my bed.’
‘No. I don’t want your bed,’ said Jess, a new tide of boldness rising within her. ‘Not unless you’re in it too.’
He raised an eyebrow and his eyes glinted. ‘Wow. I’m not going to object to that.’
She took Luca by the hand and led him to the twisty staircase off the sitting room. He didn’t say a word, but allowed her to lead him into the bedroom. It was lit softly and the curtains were open, giving a view out over the dark sea beyond their own reflections in the glass. There was nothing out there but the moon and the beam of the lighthouse on Round Island winking a mile across the sea. No one to see them or know what might happen over the next few hours, no matter how much anyone speculated or gossiped. This was between her and Luca – and she was in control.