Chapter Twenty-Six
It wasn’t until our homes came into view that I stopped walking. I didn’t want to go home, I wanted what I’d always wanted—Jordan.
He pulled up short beside me and brought my knuckles to his lips. There was a question in his eyes. I could answer willingly, it was an answer I needed more than anything, maybe even more than he did.
“I don’t want to go home, Jordan.” The breeze rustled in the trees and blew my hair back from my face. It took with it the uncertainty in my voice.
“Then don’t.” He kissed my knuckles once more and started across the ditch that led to his house.
There was an ease to the way he moved that was unusual for a guy with his bulk. But Jordan had always been that way, as if he were constantly aware that he was bigger than most, stronger than most. He didn’t need to pretend to be because he was. The way he moved was one of the sexiest things in the world. There was nothing awkward about it, the way some guys were. Every step was full of purpose and efficiently taken. Yet, he walked without a care in the world.
“Stop.” I breathed the word, so quietly I didn’t think he would hear it.
He did and looked down at me. My stomach was in knots and my heart in my throat. Weeks of fear, anger, and grief all pushed at my chest in a desperate battle to be free. I needed to feel again, even if it meant freeing all those emotions at once. I needed the sun to shine only for me, even if it meant embracing the storm that was my love for Jordan.
Jordan was the man who could give me all those things.
I needed him to understand that I wasn’t something he could toss away on a whim. “I love you, Jordan Slater. Since the first time I saw you, it has been and will always be you.”
“You were, what, six?” He laughed with no animosity.
“Yup, but it was you. Preteen girls have posters of boy bands and actors, I had a poster of a Malibu and a picture of my brother’s best friend hidden in my nightstand.” I kicked at a brown leaf that had already fallen to the ground. “I loved you before I even knew what it meant.”
When he opened his mouth to speak, I stopped him with a shaking outstretched hand. “I need you to listen to me for a minute before we go inside.” I fought back tears that made me feel like a little girl. “I am not weak, I don’t need a lot of things from this life. The one thing I need is for you to love me as much as I love you. If you don’t, if you can’t, none of it really matters.” And if he didn’t, I wasn’t sure how I could go on. I couldn’t live here anymore. I couldn’t watch him go on with someone else.
Jordan slid down to his knees in the grass at my feet. He pressed his face against my stomach so tenderly I didn’t know what to do. I struggled for breath somewhere between embarrassment and adoration. His eyes were softer, different than I’d ever seen them before.
“I’ve never been on my knees for anyone, Raelynn. And I won’t, not for anyone else. I love you. I’m a simple man, I don’t have a lot of words or descriptions. I can’t sugarcoat anything to make it sound better. I love you. Probably more than you realize, but less than I know you deserve. But I will spend every day of the rest of my life trying to prove it to you. Losing Devin cost me a lot, but losing you?” He swallowed hard. “It would cost me everything I am.”
“Get up.” I laughed and cried at the same time. “This is so dumb, I’m so dumb, get up.”
“Give me a minute.” He pressed his face against my stomach and wrapped his arms around my thighs. “Say it again.”
“What?” I swiped the tears with the back of my hand.
“That you love me.”
“I love you, Jordan. Jesus, everyone knows that.”
He moved quickly, standing up and sweeping me into his arms. He carried me back to the house, it was silly, but it made my heart flutter.
We were both flushed and laughing by the time he sat me down on the back deck and pushed open the door behind me. The look in his eyes mirrored the overwhelming sense of adoration that filled me body and soul.
Yet, there was something beneath the surface. Something hotter, that spoke more to my body. An edge, a dangerous promise of what he could give me.
“Love me.” I gasped when his hands slipped beneath my shirt and up the soft skin of my belly.
Jordan responded with a searing kiss that rocked me to the core. I clung to him, a whimpering mess, while he kissed me senseless. Vaguely, in the back of my mind, I knew when he kicked the door shut. Before I so much as blinked, he was pulling his hoodie and my shirt up over my head and tossing them to the floor in his bedroom.
I had no idea how we got there, nor did I care.
“Touch me.” I shivered as I said it, as he parted from me just long enough to pull his shirt over his head. His clothes, too, were left on the floor.
I stroked my fingertips over the long-healed wounds that littered his chest. Those scars made a man who wasn’t as sure of himself as he wanted everyone to believe but would fight tooth and nail for what he loved. He’d fight for me, had fought for me. We’d both make mistakes. From here on out, we’d make them together.
“I thought you wanted me to touch you?” His hushed voice vibrated through his chest to my fingers. His thumbs brushed over my bra, across the swollen buds that protested against their silk trappings.
“You are.” I gasped and arched, his grin was as maddening as his touch.
Jordan kissed my lips, my cheek, and then lower. Each kiss was more intimate, bringing me closer to the edge of reason. He moved lower with each kiss. I was trembling as he kissed across the rise of my breasts, across the nipples he’d teased, and lower still. He knelt when he reached my stomach and his kisses lingered longer, the heat of his mouth warming me all the way through.
I ran my hands across the short stubble of dark hair that covered his head and still he moved lower, pushing my jeans down to my feet before hooking his thumbs into hem of my panties.
Dark, lust-filled eyes stared up at me for one breathtaking moment.
Then without warning, he jerked the lace and silk down my thighs and gave me a gentle nudge onto the bed.
From his knees on the floor he loved me. His lips taunted my inner thighs and left me gripping the covers of a bed that smelled of him. Molten heat flooded through me from my core to my face, leaving my skin tingling.
I begged wordlessly as I thrashed. Jordan’s tongue and lips moved ever closer to something I could scarcely believe I wanted. Yet, I wanted it so badly I ached for it.
When he claimed me in the most intimate way possible, I came undone. Mine was an instantaneous and complete surrender. He tossed me over the edge with a maddening mix of his tongue and his lips. I writhed on the bed as I screamed his name. I rushed headlong into my own release…but still, he didn’t stop.
His body didn’t move to cover mine until I could do nothing but tremble and gasp for breath. With his finger and thumb, he turned my chin so that I looked straight at him as he hovered above me. I gasped again as he slipped inside me, his eyes never leaving mine. I clung to him as if he was my salvation. In many ways, in that moment, he was.
It was a long time after he collapsed on top of me before either of us moved. Even then, it was Jordan that rolled off me and went to get a towel.
He cleaned us both up before I wrapped myself in the clean sheets that still managed to smell like him. I was wrapped in his warmth and strength, pure happiness engulfed me. Even with all the heartache, all the pain, this life of ours was worth it.
“Make-up sex is the best.” Contented and cat-like, I stretched against him.
“Then feel free to get mad at me every day, so we can do this every night.” He nipped my ear.
The thought of Jordan touching me every night was almost too exciting to comprehend. Speechless, I chewed on my lip.
“Stay,” he said softly. “Stay here with me, every night. If Devin dying taught me anything”—he held me close—“it’s that life is too short to wait around for what you want. I want you here, every morning when I wake up and every night when I close my eyes. We can have a home, not just a house. I want you…us.”
On that, I couldn’t disagree. It was scary, for sure, but it was the life I’d always dreamed of. There would be bumps in the road, but they’d all be worth it. I intertwined my fingers with his as I answered. “Okay.”
We fell asleep, my body spooned against his. I’d had everything I wanted and had it snatched from me. I wasn’t going to let that happen again.
When I woke, the sun had risen high in the sky and Jordan wasn’t in bed. It was only a few days before the second running of SKS. If he wasn’t in bed and the house was quiet, odds were he was in the shop, working on his car.
I ran toothpaste across my teeth with my finger and pulled my hair into a messy bun on the top of my head. It wasn’t my most attractive look, but it would work enough for me to hang out in the shop.
The evening before, I’d been too busy to notice the domestic state of Jordan’s house, my house too, now. Contrary to how it usually appeared, it was in complete disarray. From the mess, I figured he’d been working on at least a two-day drunk, maybe more.
With a crack of my neck, I set about putting things to rights. I picked up the living room and threw out the beer bottles and pizza boxes. I started the laundry since I was picking up more than he’d put away in a while. My mother would be proud to see me mopping and scrubbing.
A small red car at the shop caught my eye when I started to wash the dishes. It took me a minute to place it, but the small sedan belonged to my sister-in-law. My brother bought it for her not long after they were married. It was the car she’d begged for, then complained about the color of the interior.
My brother hated that car. He would borrow Breanna’s truck before he’d drive it.
Wendy was in the shop with Jordan. I had no idea why she was there, but I didn’t like it. It was a quick walk from the back of the house. I was building up an angry head of steam with each step and was bordering on a jealous rage by the time I took the last one.
The side door was open so that I could stand beside it and listen without being seen. I found, too, that I could see them both clearly in the reflection of the wheel that glistened by the door.
Wendy was dolled up in heels and a short skirt. The red top fit snugly to her body, accentuating an ample bosom and leaving little to the imagination. The clothing choice, heavy makeup, and teased hair made her look sad…not sexy as she’d intended.
“How can you say no?”
I bit my lip as she trailed her finger down the chest that I’d dug my nails into not long ago. I’d never been jealous, it was a new emotion for me. There was no other way to describe the heated tension beneath my skin. The new emotion warmed my cheeks.
Mentally I cheered when he swiped her hand away from his chest. “You’re married to my best friend, Wendy.”
She snorted. “My marriage is a sham.”
“Too bad Aiden doesn’t know that.” He turned from her and started slinging tools around in the tool box with such force it was obvious she was pissing him off.
“Poor, pitiful Aiden, he has all this and never did know what to do with it.” She pressed herself up against his back and ran her hands down his front. “But you would, Jordan.”
It took everything I had not to walk through the door and stomp her ass. But, I needed to know how Jordan would handle the situation.
“Get off me, Wendy.” He shrugged her off, his lip curling with disgust. “Desperate doesn’t suit you. You’re pathetic.” He was on a roll, I put my fist in the air in victory celebration as he rounded on her. Jordan Slater, angry, was a sight to behold. He pulled up to his full height, his chest out and his eyes narrowed with rage. “He’s too good for you. He always was. And what do you do? You beat him down and make him feel like shit. He’s given you everything and it’s never good enough. You’re less than nothing, Wendy. You’re a washed-up slut with no sense.” He tossed a grease covered rag at her. “Get the fuck outta my garage.”
“This is because of Raelynn, isn’t it?” Her voice went cold.
“Don’t you even say her name,” he growled dangerously.
When she reached for him again, I couldn’t stand it anymore and interceded. If she was dumb enough to not comprehend what he was telling her, it was time for an education. “You heard him, Wendy.” I stepped through the side door. “Or do I need to call Aiden?”
Wendy snarled at me, “You think you know everything.” The black mascara was clumped on her lashes and did little to hide the desperation in her eyes.
“No.” I took my place at Jordan’s side, interlacing my fingers with his as I’d done in bed the night before. “But, I know enough about you to know that Jordan’s right. You’ve never been good enough for my brother and this time I’ll make sure he knows what you’re up to. All I can hope is my niece grows up more like us than you.” I wanted to hit her. Only Jordan’s strong arm pulling me close stayed my hand.
“You killed him!” She shook with hate as she launched her volley. I flinched and absorbed the shock of it, even though it was meant for Jordan. “You killed him and fucked the woman he loved the most. And suddenly you get self-righteous about Aiden?”
“Get, the—” My words were stolen from my lips from a very familiar voice.
“—fuck out of here, Wendy.” My heart froze in my chest. The sunlight behind him cast golden flecks into the dark hair that fell into his face. There was pain in his eyes, though not surprise. My brother wasn’t stupid. “I won’t have you talking to my family like that.”
If Jordan’s voice had been dangerous, the low sound that slid from my brother’s lips was deadly. On his hip, my nephew’s blue eyes were wide with apprehension.
“Fuck you, Aiden,” she spat and stomped out of the garage. We all stood, shell shocked, as she peeled from the driveway tossing gravel. She hadn’t even looked at her child.
“Molly?” I asked him.
“With Mom.” He nuzzled Luke’s curls.
I turned to Jordan, pressing my face against his chest. “She’s wrong.”
He said nothing and held me tight. Whatever passed between he and my brother, I couldn’t see, but Aiden’s free arm wrapped around both of us. I turned and pulled Luke’s face to mine and kissed his cheeks.
“Can you help Mom with the kids?” Aiden asked me as he handed the little guy to me. “I’m going to get our shit.”
“I’ll come with you and bring the trailer. I’ll call Vic, and we can have you out of there tonight.”
“I’ll send Breanna to help when she gets home,” I added. My sister would be all too happy to get rid of Wendy.
Jordan kissed me once, gently on the lips, and loped after my brother.
“It may not seem like it, but this is the best day ever, kiddo,” I told my nephew as he played with my hair. “Today the rest of our lives begins. And you know what? You and your sister will have the most amazing life. Aunt Rae will make sure of it.”
“Rae!” He squealed and wiggled in my arms.
Everything would be okay, I had to feel that way. I wouldn’t let Wendy poison the happiness I’d found.