Chapter Three
“I thought you couldn’t break free?” Jordan’s voice drowned the hum of the tires on asphalt.
My brother’s handsome face formed a grimace. “Had a fight about dirty dishes and it turned into listening to how, by knocking her up, I’d ruined her life. I got tired of it, so I left.”
“It’s time to get out of that, bro. Cut your losses and move on.”
After the way he’d silenced Vic and Devin, Jordan’s speaking that way surprised me. Just because he’d said it to Aiden didn’t mean he’d say it to the other guys. This was the Jordan Slater brand of loyalty. If he had something to say he said it one on one.
Aiden was silent for a long time. The passing streetlights illuminated his features. No matter how hard I searched, it was impossible to tell what he was thinking. I’d been gone a little more than two years, apparently, long enough to lose the ability to read my brother’s face.
My focus was directed intently on Aiden, so I could ignore how close Jordan was. I was all too aware of his presence. I could smell the hint of cologne he wore just beneath the faint trace of exhaust. He was warm despite the cool air that blew from the vents. It should make me uncomfortable, uneasy to be this close to a man.
After what had passed between us before I left home, it shouldn’t feel this good to be tucked against his side. Those were feelings I’d sort out later when I could think without his scent and heat wreaking havoc on my system.
“It’s no good, bro.” Jordan cracked through the troubling silence that was building.
“I know.” Aiden’s brow furrowed and his face darkened even in the flickers of orange light. “It’s the kids. She’s their mother, I can’t just walk away from that, from her. What if she tried to take them away from me?”
Something passed between them in that moment, something that had nothing at all to do with me. “A mother can do more damage than good. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent.” It wasn’t a secret that Jordan had a rocky relationship with his mother. When I met him, he’d moved in with his grandfather. I still hadn’t expected the vehemence in his words.
“Look at this!” Aiden ribbed me with his elbow and eagerly changed the subject. “Back at it all day like the old days? You go and get all smart, then come back home and start grease monkey living all over again?”
I smiled in the dark and laid my head on my brother’s shoulder. “How could I stay away from this?”
Jordan shifted his weight around in the driver’s seat. I distinctly noticed the loss of his touch when I shifted toward Aiden. Something in my chest fluttered as I suspected Jordan noticed that loss too.
He threw the truck into park. “Since you missed it so much, let’s get to work.”
We unstrapped both cars. With three of us unhooking the ratchet straps on each car it only took a few minutes.
I stood on the side of the dark concrete road as my brother used a flashlight to guide Jordan and the Malibu off the trailer. A little way down the street, Vic mirrored Aiden’s motions for Devin.
All of them were so different, bound together by their love for fast cars and adrenaline rushes. Vic was from a family bigger than mine, Catholic and Puerto Rican. They were loud, loving, and awesome. Devin had grown up in a swank house on the other side of town, the only child of two working, wealthy parents. Jordan had come from the same neighborhood as us, our neighbor, upper middle class. His family connections didn’t run as strong as ours. A love of racing, of cars and making them faster, had made them a family. Made all of us a family.
The connection had suffocated me as a teenager. Now, it was an unexpected security blanket.
“So, he was not happy.” Breanna chewed on another piece of candy, this time I was treated to the scent of sweetened lemon. “Really not happy.”
“Who?” My eyes drifted to the large figure in black, illuminated by my brother’s flashlight, who unfolded from the race car.
“Devin.”
“Oh.” My stomach twisted.
She opened her mouth to tease me further but shut it when she must have made out my moonlit expression.
I didn’t pick up the jug of sticky brown liquid until Jordan climbed back in his car. I made quick work of pouring it in front of each tire and getting out of the way. I’m barely a few inches above five feet tall, I was incredibly proficient at getting out of the way. It had come in handy at college, dodging exuberant coeds between classes.
The engine roared, silencing the buzz of the nocturnal insects, as Jordan launched the car into a smoke inducing burnout. None of those exuberant coeds could have stood in the noxious fog that enveloped me and found it gratifying.
I did.
Breanna’s eyes were wide and excited. For us, this was a religious experience. Rubber covered concrete and burn out smoke was our church.
The wind whipped through Aiden’s hair as he backed Jordan into the rubber he’d laid down on the concrete. Though he was our rising star, Aiden was much more in his element here. At the track, with its sponsors and stipulations, the love for racing seemed to drain out of him.
“Why’s he at the track full time now?” I asked Breanna. “It doesn’t seem right.”
“It’s not, but Dad always track raced for points and trophies. When Aiden bought the trailer for him and Wendy, he sold his car for the down payment. Racing Dad’s ’Vette just seemed like the thing to do.”
“And Dad doesn’t have to worry about bailing him out of jail.”
“There’s that.” Her body went rigid as the hum of the turbos in Jordan’s car began to spool up, building boost for the engine and gaining RPMs.
On a desolate country road, under the cover of night, Jordan’s Malibu roared to life. The front tires lifted from the road for the briefest second, the power the engine put down almost too much to hold to the ground. When another driver would have lifted from the gas, Jordan held it and tore off down the concrete hell bent for leather.
It was a fast pass, fast enough to have my brother jumping up and punching the air with a hoot. I didn’t have time to celebrate, instead, I jogged out to perform the same function for Devin’s rear tires.
Devin’s car stuck and didn’t lift. His pass might have even been quicker than Jordan’s since he didn’t pop a wheelie.
Riding high from the rush of it, I made quick work of stowing the ramps on the trailer so we could pick Jordan up. At the end of the road, his idling taillights were a beacon. Behind us, Breanna and Vic mirrored our actions with the other rig.
There was no safety net out here, no cops or security paid off to turn a blind eye like on race nights. Odds were someone had heard us, someone who could have called the cops. We had to get out as quickly as we could. If we were here when the cops showed up, the race cars could be impounded and we could end up in jail.
“She hit hard, son!” Aiden’s shout carried across the fields around us as Jordan pulled onto the trailer.
“Too hard, maybe?” I mused as he climbed out of the car.
“Nah, I had it.”
I couldn’t argue that point. Jordan had it, he was always in control.
With a surprising amount of grace, Jordan hopped off the trailer. I moved into his outstretched arms like I had a hundred times before.
For a split-second as he caught me, I was pressed against his chest. The magnetic appeal I couldn’t get away from pulled me back in time. It was a place I didn’t want to remember. I’d barreled headlong into disaster as a direct result of what happened that night. I couldn’t afford to go back.
My body’s response, the quickening of my pulse and the warming at my core, were enough to send me over the edge all on their own. The extra push I hadn’t needed was the flash of barely controlled desire in Jordan’s eyes. He had a good game face, but I could see past it.
His body trembled against mine as he let me slide down the length of him to the concrete. If I held on a little too long to his chest and wished for more, if I wished we were alone with no one else was watching, I was going to keep it to myself.
Every intention was to walk away. Yet as I started to slide from his grasp, his head tilted and his lips parted and threatened to kiss me.
I wished he would, with all my being I wished he would. I inched up onto my tip-toes. I was so close I could feel his breath against my lips. And still, he watched me. I could read the want in his eyes, feel it in the rapid beat of his heart where I pressed myself against his chest.
The roar of an engine reminded me of where we were and what had passed between us. I was startled as I pulled away. The warm summer air fortified me against the urge to wrap my arms around myself.
He hadn’t kissed me and still I was exposed, naked even. Betrayal and fear jockeyed for position in the race to the surface of my being. Betrayal to myself, to the boundaries and walls I’d built to protect myself from guys.
Bolstered by a sharp intake of breath, I sought refuge where the guys were strapping up Devin’s Camaro.
“But if you’re not going straight with all four tires on the ground, you’re losing speed.” Though it was stating the obvious I had to say something. I was a coward because I’d needed to put distance between myself and Jordan.
The air was thick, heavy, and Devin ran nitrous. Between the weight of the car and heat in the air, he should have run a faster time than Jordan had.
My brother, apparently, didn’t seem to care about Devin’s advantages as he leaned against Devin’s truck and whistled low. “I’ve got a hundred bucks that says Jordan’s pass is still faster when we plug it into the computers.”
“I’ll take that bet.” It would be hard to miss the blatant challenge in my voice. I just hoped my bravado was enough to fool everyone. Inside I was still reeling from the mere thought of kissing Jordan.
Devin’s eyes brightened even in the dark. He didn’t have the natural confidence of the other three. When he smiled, I was genuinely happy I’d made him smile. I was proud of him. The infectious twist of his lips had spread to me. I looked over my shoulder, still smiling, and stopped.
The expression on Jordan’s face stole my breath.
“You can gimme that bill now, Raelynn. There’s no way D made a faster pass than Jordan.” Aiden snorted. I only half listened to him as he mussed my hair.
“On a cooler night, I might agree with you. Devin kept it on the ground, straighter line from point A to B. Did you use the third kit?” Breanna to the rescue. It wasn’t often my sister was on my side with this sort of thing.
“Maybe.” Devin winked as he held the driver’s door open for me. “Let’s get out of here before we have company.”
I cast one last look at Jordan. From where he stood, alone in the dark, I could clearly sense the danger he posed to my sanity. Earlier the very idea of being cooped up in the cab of the truck with Devin had freaked me out. Now, riding with him was my saving grace. I could deal with Devin’s misplaced feelings. I couldn’t deal with how Jordan made me feel.
“It was a damn fast pass.” I wasn’t lying when I said it. Devin’s pass on the street had been faster than I’d expected it to be. That he was racing now, rather than just lining Jordan up, would take some getting used to. Just like being around Jordan again.
Devin’s voice cut through my thoughts. “He’s pissed you bet against him.”
I wasn’t going to argue with him, tell him what had really bothered his friend.
“You were faster, straight up.” Vic vehemently agreed with my bet. All I could do was smile.
The pride in Devin’s handsome face was mesmerizing. I couldn’t fathom how he’d ever stayed single, why he hadn’t been married off already. Unlike some guys, he’d never been one for racking up notches on his belt. He could have, easily, but didn’t. The day’s growth of scruff on his face made him even sexier.
No matter how sexy Devin was, I didn’t experience the same heat I’d felt when I’d sat pressed against Jordan. The hyper awareness of my body and all its girly bits was gone. For the first time since I’d climbed into Jordan’s truck that night, I allowed myself to relax.
“I’m glad to have you back, Raelynn.” I turned away to Vic when Devin squeezed my knee. All too soon I started to regret my decision not to ride back with Jordan. I’d never feel the same thing for Devin that he thought he felt for me.
****
“Beefcake.” Bree pointed another lollipop at Jordan as the guys unloaded the cars. “First time I ever heard someone say that I immediately thought of Slater.”
I coughed out a choking laugh but didn’t give voice to my agreement. He had the look of a modern-day Cherokee warrior. Easily the tallest and the broadest of the four guys unloading the cars. There wasn’t an inch of fat to be found on him. He worked out. It was like he’d spent his entire life preparing for a fight we knew nothing about. Maybe he was.
“What happened? You suddenly decide you wanted a piece of Devin?” It was becoming apparent Breanna wasn’t going to let the Devin thing go.
Sometimes I wanted to dropkick her. The more mature idea would be to warn her with a glare and ignore the dig. I went with the mature thing. My dad would be proud. “If Jordan’s a beefcake, what’s mini me over there?” I gestured toward Vic.
“That little piece of Latin flava?” She wiggled her hips in a mock samba very similar to the one he’d done earlier that day.
This time my laugh wasn’t choked. “He’d agree with you.”
“Vic’s hot in a feisty, unpredictable way.”
“Aiden?” It was curious to me Breanna’s answer about Vic lacked the edge she had when she spoke of Devin.
“Mom’s apple pie. I guess. He’s our brother so I can’t really see past that.”
“Me either.” I scrunched up my nose.
“That one is just dreamy if you’re into the knight in shining armor look. I prefer mine with a little less polish.” She tilted her head and studied Devin. There was something there, something she wasn’t saying. I knew not to push Breanna. If you pushed, she shut down. But her edge was definitely sharper, her back suddenly straighter. “And so do you.”
“What?” The accuracy of her statement caught me off guard. No one could say any of the guys I’d ever liked were polished. Well, except for one. I rubbed my throat, once, then shoved my hands in my pockets.
“Our entire lives you’ve had a thing for the guys without the polish, Jordan.” She named a few others I’d crushed on in school. “And Hunter.”
Hunter East. I lit up at his name. When I’d decided the best way to make Jordan notice me was to spend entirely too much time with one of his rivals, I made a beeline right for Hunter. He was similar in build to Jordan. Hunter was tall, broad, and muscular. He was lighter skinned with reddish streaked brown hair and sleepy hazel eyes.
There wasn’t any polish to Hunter either. He lived to fight and race, he went fast and hard in everything he did. Thinking of Hunter for a little while made me stop thinking so much about Jordan. Hunter offered me the same distraction now he’d offered me when I was a teenager.
“Eh.” I couldn’t disagree. “We are our mother’s daughters. We are drawn to the bad boys.”
I’d tried for something different in college. I’d tried for the polish and charm. Turns out there were a wide variety of definitions for bad boy. Some were much worse than others.
Devin approached us, jingling his keys. “So, Bree, did you really think that pass was enough to beat Slater?”
The opinions of most girls didn’t usually matter if the driver had been fast enough to get laid. When a driver asked a Casey woman that sort of question, though, he expected a genuine answer.
“Fast enough, for sure. Wicked fast.” She kissed his cheek and left a flush in her wake.
I gave him a good once over. Clean cut and polished to shine, even with the stubble. My sister was right. I went for those with the rough edges, not the shine. He’d get right in there and race with my brother or one of the others. But he wouldn’t be the one to start the fight or walk around with holes in his jeans. The vast majority of Devin’s edges were polished.
“You coming tomorrow night?” His voice was smooth, not like Jordan’s. It didn’t have that deep rumble that seemed to settle inside my chest when he talked.
I contemplated going to the races. The test passes had helped waken something inside me I hadn’t realized had gone dormant while I was away. I hadn’t experienced a rush like that in a long time, not since before I’d left. Race night would be that times a thousand and as far from anything I did at college as I could get.
I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that. Not yet.
“Jordan’s racing Hunter.” Breanna crunched on the remainder of her sucker and winked.
It wasn’t lost on me that Devin stiffened when Breanna mentioned Hunter.
“That was a long time ago, Breanna.” Letting Devin down gently was going to be harder than I’d thought.
“It’ll be one helluva race.” Vic danced over to us. The two passes had given him too much energy to store in his compact form.
“Valid point.” Breanna thumped me on the nose with the stick of her sucker.
“You can watch me run.” Devin recovered from his stick in the mud impression.
It would be my first time watching him race. As well as being the first time I’d seen Hunter again in a long time.
“I’m going.” Aiden put in, as Jordan lagged back to close the shop.
After the initial shock of Aiden promising to show up on race night, they all looked back at me.
Put on the spot, I couldn’t say no. “Fine, geez.”
“Whoop!” Breanna hooted and threw a fist in the air.
Promise made, I hugged my brother and his friends before following my sister. Jordan stood, only a few feet away, between us and home. For Breanna, it was instinctual, her lips casually brushing his cheek as she went past. I fought the urge to run, to seek shelter from the onslaught of sexual tension that was Jordan.
The corner of his mouth curled, daring me to run. He might as well have called me a chicken.
I stood on my tip-toes and wrapped my arms around him. He was wider than most, barrel chested and strong. The heat of his chest was warm against me, even warmer than the summer night around us.
One large, warm hand sent tingles up my spine when he pressed his palm against the small of my back. It was a hug and so much more. My breath caught…I would never be okay where Jordan Slater was concerned.
“I am glad you’re home, Raelynn.” His whisper was almost swallowed up by the heat between us.
Abruptly, I pulled away and jogged to catch up with my long-legged sister. It wasn’t just the physical yearning he stirred up, I had always wanted more than that with Jordan. A younger, more naïve version of myself thought I would be the one to tame him.
From the safety of my back porch, it was easy to see Devin walking in Jordan’s house, his shoulders slumped, my brother and Vic getting in their vehicles, and Jordan watching me. There was a time I would have thought he was just making sure we had made it home and inside safely.
Now there was nothing safe about the way he watched me.
I beat a hasty retreat into my house, but not before a slow heated shiver of want crawled up my spine.