CHAPTER FOUR
Zek
I stifled the need to sigh as she turned and walked away from me. While I was willing to play it safe with her, and keep my desires to myself, I hated her treating me like a common client. I wasn’t one, though I deserved to be after leaving her and never once looking back. Hell, I’d avoided her from time to time during the years too.
“So where do we start, Alisa?” I turned to watch her take her seat. She folded one of her shapely legs under her, which pulled her pencil skirt tight over her thighs.
I walked over, trying to keep my eyes above the table, but losing the battle fast. It might be better just to work on stealing her heart and losing the case than ignoring the raging desire that pumped through me. Too many what-ifs played along my mind, and the soft whisper of the past caused my mouth to raise in a smile.
“What?” She glanced up at me and stiffened.
“Just thinking about the good old days. I know we’re leaving the past in the past, but I can’t help it.” I sat down in the chair nearest her and reached for the file her hands rested on. “The future looks bleak. I know you’re touted as a damn good lawyer, but the past might be a better place for me to focus right now.”
Her hand covered mine, the softness of her fingers driving a stake of desire deep into the pit of my stomach.
“The rape charge will be dropped. I’ll make sure of that. I have no doubt that we’re trapped in the center of foul play.” She pulled her hand from mine as if she realized what she was doing.
“I hope so. I think paying the settlement might be a better bet, but I understand why that might not be a good course of action.” I leaned over and examined the file, looking through the other charges that Melissa had brought against various men in the past.
“Why did you give into her? She’s a pretty girl, but she’s just a girl. You’re an alpha-type guy. Why not just tell her to fuck off?” The question in Alisa’s voice softened it slightly. She wasn’t asking just for documentation in the file.
“I told you that my girlfriend and I just broke up, which was a huge relief, but left me lonely.” I shrugged. “Everyone wants someone to care about them. Sex is usually just a means of expressing that. Even when you’re being greedy in bed, you’re still giving a little too. It’s impossible not to.”
“And this girlfriend—”
“Lindsay.”
“Right. She was with you for a while? Were you guys planning to get married?” She sat back and pressed her fingers to her lips, drawing my attention to her inquisitive stare. Her dark blue eyes moved about my face, as if she was searching for something.
“Why did you get married?” I figured since she wasn’t exactly following the script that I could get a bit of information out of her too.
“I was lonely, and Ben was a great friend to me in college.” She shrugged. “This isn’t about me.”
“But it is.” I leaned forward and pressed my forearms into the table. “It’s about both of us. You have to believe my motives, and I have to understand yours. This isn’t just about me. It would be if we didn’t know each other, but we do. How about instead of pushing against each other, we work together and you get rich and famous, and I get a bit of hope again?”
Her eyes softened. “You should have hope. I’ve worked my way up to being one of the top defense lawyers in the country.” She pulled the files back from me and looked down, ignoring me, and effectively pulling us back to the sterile, uninvolved conversations that she seemed to enjoy.
“You remember that time when we were kids and you almost broke your damn leg sneaking out with me to go to Jerry Miller’s party? Your brother was asleep and I didn’t want to go by myself?” I smirked, not caring how upset she might get about me reminding her of the past. I wanted to catch a small glimpse of that girl again.
She looked up from the paper, her lips in a tight line. I awaited my warning, but it didn’t come.
“Clark never did find out about that night.” A smile tugged at her mouth, but she pulled it back down.
“It was our first kiss, remember? You tried that shitty homemade wine they had, and couldn’t hold your head up ten minutes into the party.” I wanted so fucking bad to reach out and touch her, to verify that she was real and sitting in front of me.
“I was so embarrassed. Remember, I barfed in your old truck on the way back?” She smiled and sat up straight before running her fingers through her hair. “You remember the kiss?”
“Of course I do.” I reached out and brushed my fingers down her arm. “It was the first of many.”
“Yeah. Those were good times.” She turned back to the file.
Until I left without a word.
I was striking out with the woman more than I could remember doing with anyone in my adult life. I needed to change the subject and take my aggression out later that night when I was alone.
“What are we going to do about Jon? He’s waiting to hear back from me on the settlement statement.” I sat back, half grateful that she didn’t chide me for touching her.
“I’m going to make an appointment to go see him later today or tomorrow. I need to dig around a little to see what he’s up to. He’s either completely ignorant to what Melissa is doing, or he’s knee deep in it.” She glanced up at me again. “You slept with a twenty-year-old girl because you were lonely from your shitty girlfriend leaving you?”
Her question shocked me. “I fucked a young woman in my office because she came onto me, and I hadn’t had sex in months. My girlfriend was much more interested in my wallet than anything else I could offer.”
She flinched slightly, but turned from me. “I see. I still want to examine the rooms and get you to retell the story in detail.”
“You don’t like details, remember.” I sat back, not wanting to challenge her for fear of losing her. But something inside of me wanted to dominate her, to force her to remember how much she wanted me. It was the fleeting desire of a child, but after watching her eyes widen and breathing falter at dinner the night before, those same wants lived inside of her. I saw it. I felt it. I desperately wanted to experience it again.
“I need the details, Zek.” She looked over at me. “I’m not a prude, and I can remain intensely professional no matter what. You fucking some girl against a window isn’t the worst thing I could come up with. It’s... it’s just not.” Her cheeks colored pink, and she sat back, closing the file. “Alright. I’m taking the rape case, as I said before. I’ll meet with Jon and Melissa. I need you to plan a time that we can go to your office and out to the cabin. Good?”
“Yeah. Are we just going to check out the cabin and come back, or are you wanting to stay out there for a little while? It’s peaceful if we want to go through everything and review out there.” I ran my fingers through my hair before standing up. She was ready for me to go, and though I hated like hell to only get a few minutes of her day, I knew better than to push things just yet.
“I don’t know. I’m not sure staying in a cabin in the woods with you is a smart bet.” She stood up, her tone rather derogatory.
Anger welled up inside of me. She didn’t believe me. I reached out, grabbing her upper arm. “I would never hurt a woman. Ever.”
She pulled from me as her expression tightened. “I didn’t say you would.”
“You implied it. If you don’t believe that good exists in me, then don’t take the damn case. I’ll find another lawyer and save us both the hassle.” I was being childish. I knew I was, but I couldn’t help myself. I needed her to believe in me, and she didn’t. Melissa had a record a mile long of dragging men through the mud after offering up her tight little body for the night, and I was still being looked at as a villain.
“Save you the hassle? What hassle would that be?” She turned on me, her expression telling me that the welcome mat had officially been rolled up.
“The hassle of looking at you and wondering what if, Alisa. I know we were just kids, and I know I was the one who ran, but it’s been a long fucking life since.” I slid my hands into my pockets. “The last thing I needed to do was run into you and be reminded of what could have been.”
She lifted her hands into the air and shook her head. “Get out. I’m not diving into this with you. I don’t believe you’re a villain at all. I believe in you like I did back then. You’re the same boy, but you have a whole new set of circumstances. I’m not here to love you, Zek. I’m here to get you back on track and let you live your life. I have my own shit that I’m dealing with. You deal with yours.”
I stood stone still. “Then why did you question going into the woods with me, like I’m an ax murderer?”
She shook her head. “This meeting is over. I’ll call you tomorrow after I talk to Mr. Mills.”
Walking to the door, I paused, not able to leave without resolution. “I’m sorry I touched you. It won’t happen again.”
“Good. Have a nice day, Mr. Kellington.” She turned back to her files as I stood there, looking stupid.
I closed the door as I left and tried to calm the raging emotions that pumped through me turbulently. Lizzy’s door was open, and the sound of her voice caused me to stop by her office. She glanced up and smiled, dismissing her secretary and motioning for me to come in.
“Come in here and tell me what’s going on.” She leaned forward, pressing her forearms to her desk and looking at me with concern. “Are you upset? You’re flush.”
“No, I’m good. Just tired of this shit already. I spend my life building an empire on good decisions, and for what?” I walked to the window, not able to sit still just yet.
“There’s still a lot of hope left in all of this and you know it. Stop giving up. That’s not the man I know.” She got up and walked to the window, moving to stand beside me. “Mark would shit a brick if he heard you sounding so defeated.”
“Yeah, well, forgive me. I’m just trying to mull through how the fuck this is going to turn out well for me. Every scenario in my head comes back with me in jail and everything destroyed. I didn’t rape the girl, so I’m good there.” I reached up and pressed my hand to my forehead. “I don’t know what I was thinking with the investment deal. I should have said no.”
“Yeah, you should have. Don’t you tell another soul that you did anything wrong. Do you understand me?” Her voice was firm and demanding.
I glanced over at her and nodded. She was like a sister to me, and I knew without a doubt that if she could, she would save me because of how much she loved Mark. Where was my opportunity for a relationship like that? Why did it really matter anymore? I would have nothing to offer anyone soon.
“Alright, but I’m not lying to save my ass. I’ve already bent my ethics for no good reason, and I feel like shit about it.” I rolled my shoulders, turning at the sound of Alisa’s voice.
“So I think I found—” She stopped short as her eyes widened a little as she looked at me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize...”
“It’s alright. I was leaving.” I turned and walked toward the door, passing her before looking back at Lizzy. “Tell Mark I’ll call him later, and don’t let him know that I’m not as much of a superhero as he believes me to be.”
“He could never be disappointed in you, Zek. You’re everything to him.” Lizzy crossed her arms over her chest.
“Oh, I know, I just wanted to make him think that I have all this under control. No need to burst his bubble.” I forced a laugh and focused on Alisa as she turned back to look at me. “Good day, ladies. Thanks for your time.”
There was no point in pleading my case with either of them. They were going to help me without question. Whether Alisa and I would survive it would be a different situation all together. Her words still worked to sting me as I walked from the building, though there had to be an alternate meaning. Her reaction was too strong when I exploded.
If she wasn’t scared to go to the cabin with me, then why would she respond like she was?