CHAPTER NINE
Alisa
I hadn’t meant for the moment to move toward us kissing, but I shifted toward him without a thought.
His fingers slid into my hair, the pressure at the base of my head so deliciously firm as his lips met mine. The kiss wasn’t sweet and endearing, but filled with hunger and need.
A groan escaped me as I tilted my head slightly and opened up to him, needing so badly to taste him. His tongue slid by mine and he pulled me in close, forcing our chests together as his hand brushed down my back and rubbed softly just above my ass.
He was being respectful, but I wish he wouldn’t have.
The brush of his teeth against my bottom lip as I pulled back left my insides melting. It had been far too long since I’d wanted anyone as badly as I wanted him. I leaned in for another kiss and he pulled me into his lap, the tight space affording me only one position without having to break the moment.
Sliding my arms up onto the couch behind his head, I pressed myself against the thick bulge I was sure to find sitting against his lower stomach. Straddling him was a horrible idea and yet had to be the most delicious feeling I could remember entertaining.
“Fuck,” I mumbled against his mouth and rolled my hips, needing to feel him against me. The desire to test whether he would fit tucked deeply inside of me ran by my mind and I moaned deep in my chest.
“What are we doing, Alisa?” His hands moved down to cup my face as he licked at my mouth before moving down my neck. His fingers dug into my hand as he flattened me against him and ran his nose from the base of my throat to my ear. “This is your fault.”
I pressed a kiss to the side of his neck and nuzzled him as lust pumped through me. I didn’t want to snuggle or be sweet in the slightest. I wanted to be stripped naked and held down as he fucked me long into the night, but it wasn’t happening.
“I need you so goddamn bad. Did you know that, naughty girl?” He licked my ear and shifted his hips, grinding against me as I cried out against his neck.
“Me too,” I mumbled and sat up, sliding my hands down his chest. “We can’t do this.”
“I know.” He moved to stand, holding me tightly against him. He was a powerhouse and holding me wasn’t at all an issue for him. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he turned and laid me down on the couch just behind us.
As his weight came down on me, I groaned with pleasure. He glanced up, the desire in his blue eyes searing me in places I’d almost forgotten about.
“You’re so beautiful. So sexy.” He ran his nose along the top of my chest, his tongue snaking out to lick the top of my breasts as I whimpered. “So talented and cocky.”
“I’m confident. You’re cocky.” I undulated my hips, sliding along his arousal. I wanted to reach down and stroke him, to remember how truly naughty I’d been when we were younger together. There had been so many nights of me reaching for him and him pulling my hand from his cock, turning me and trying to calm me as hormones ripped through my body. I needed a good fuck then, and I needed one now.
“Yes, I agree.” He moved down my body, his teeth pressing against my flesh just over my clothes as he went. A sharp cry left me as he gripped my thighs and tugged them open before pressing his mouth to my sex and biting down.
“Oh God.” I closed my eyes and arched my back as a shiver danced down my spine. My nipples ached for his attention, my body wet and pulsing.
“You smell so good. I can almost taste your arousal.” He licked at my center as I opened my eyes and watched him. There would never be a better man for me. The way he made me feel left me needy for another hit of him and we hadn’t even parted ways, though we should.
“I need to go.” I arched my back again, and he flicked his tongue over me. Fucking clothes.
“You need to stay. My cock’s rock hard, and it’s your fault. It’s been a theme over all of my life, but you knew that, didn’t you?” He chuckled darkly as pleasure raced down my nervous system, pressing against each intimate part of me as it did.
He tugged my shirt up and shifted again, pressing his soft lips to my stomach and breathing in deeply as if he wanted to stain his lungs with my scent.
Take my pants off. Rip my panties next. Taste me. Please. I need you so damn bad.
Tears burned my eyes, but I played it off, lifting my hands and moaning as I brushed my palms by my face and collected the evidence.
Strong hands pressed into my side and slid upward, cupping my breasts and massaging firmly. The rhythmic flicking of his thumb over my nipples caused me to jerk up, almost knocking him backward.
“I need to go. My insides are on fire.” I hadn’t realized I was panting, but quickly tried to calm myself once I did. All of our long nights of petting each other danced along my vision, leaving me weak to his assault.
He moved up between my legs and wrapped his strong arms around me. “Whatever you want, but you know I want you here with me in my bed.”
“Do you?” I looked down into his familiar face and pressed myself to his front as my fingers moved along the thick swell of muscles on his back. He was beyond every fantasy I’d ever had, and yet my time to break free and not taint our relationship was running thin.
“Of course I do.” He brushed his lips up my neck to my ear. “And against the wall in my bedroom. Pinned down on this couch. Pressed to the shower wall. In my car. My office. Your office against the window.”
I groaned and pushed at him before untangling and standing up. “Shit.”
“Alisa.” He moved to stand and my eyes moved down him, which was a mistake.
The quick rise and fall of his chest combined with the sexy vein at the side of his throat pulsing wildly was almost too much. The outline of his cock against his jeans undid me. My mouth started to water as I imagined hitting my knees and sucking him as his fingers tightened in my hair and he lost himself to the pleasure I would provide in thick, heavy waves.
Reaching down, I gathered the papers and tried to clean up as my movements boarded on frantic. I had to leave, had to save us from a mistake we might not survive. I couldn’t let myself fall for a man who was likely to head to jail for God knew how long.
“Alisa.” He reached down and jerked me up, his hand comforting albeit tight around my shoulders. “Baby, don’t run from me. Please.”
“I’m running. This isn’t happening between us.” I pulled from him as my heart raced. “I’m your attorney, Zek. Once the trials are over, we can see what this thing is between us, but not before. I can’t go into a courtroom and defend you as my client when you’re really my lover.”
He nodded as the light faded a little from his eyes. “I understand that, but don’t go. Stay and let’s finish talking. So we kissed... big deal. We’ve kissed a million times.”
“I know, but it’s all the things I want you to do to me after the kiss. That’s the problem.” I moved back and let out a shaky breath as I finished getting my stuff together. My body screamed in protest as an almost frantic feeling filled me. I didn’t want to go, but I had to.
There was no way to shake the image of us making love on the couch, and some part of me didn’t want to. I wanted to explore every minute of it, needed to. The last few years had left me cold to passion, and the man beside me doused my resolve in gasoline and lit a match I wasn’t sure how to extinguish.
“Promise me something.” He followed me into the kitchen as I started to breathe in short quick breaths.
“What?” I put the signed documents in my bag and walked back into the living room, trying to ignore the way he watched me like a hawk.
He grabbed my arm and tugged me toward him. “When this is over, you’ll let me have one night with you. One night to touch every part of you, to taste every inch, to make love to you the way I’ve wanted to my whole life.”
I swallowed hard as tears filled my eyes again. There was no easy way out of our situation, and even if there was, I wouldn’t take it. I nodded and lifted to my toes, pressing my lips to his. I moved back as he reached for me.
“We can talk later about the office cameras and our next steps. Thank you for dinner.” I moved to the door and stopped as he called out to me, the slight hint of desperation in his voice almost killing me.
“Alisa.”
I turned and wrapped my arms around me as we stood in an oddly comfortable silence for a moment. I had nothing to say that wouldn’t sound like ‘pick me up and take me to your bed now,’ so I waited for whatever he wanted from me.
“I’m sorry if tonight went too far. I didn’t mean for it to.” I brushed my fingers over my lips as he watched me with a sensual hooded glare. “But I’d do it all over again. You know that, right?”
“Yes, and I hope you would push it past the breaking point if ever it happens again. I want so badly to drown in you, but something tells me I might not get the chance to come back up for air. I can’t risk that right now.” I gave him a tight smile and walked out of the house to my car as a soft sob left me.
Agony swirled in my stomach over the loss of a night wrapped around him once again. It was so much more than the sex. It was the righting of a wrong from all those years ago, and the validation that he was as taken by me as much as I’d always been taken by him.
I cried the whole way home, my body weary and heart aching by the time I reached my small unpacked apartment. I’d almost expected him to try and stop me, but he hadn’t. He was too respectful of my wishes, my desires, my demands. I should have shown him my true ones and sat back to watch him indulge in a sensual feast of my flesh.
“Stop it,” I mumbled under my breath as I moved up to the apartment building. We would get through everything and spend a weekend naked together. He could explore every part of me, and then some. He was the only man I could see myself completely opening up to. Anything he wanted... I wanted him to have it.
My phone buzzed as I stopped and flipped it open.
Zek: You make it home safe, pretty girl?
Me: Yes. Thanks again for dinner.
Zek: Thank you for this extreme level of discomfort. I’d almost forgotten how good you were at this. My balls thank you.
Me: Pet them for me?
Zek: Really?
I laughed and dropped my phone back into my bag, knowing good and damn well that I shouldn’t be texting anything but professional messages with him as my client. I would have to tell him the next day that we would have to keep things on the up and up. I wasn’t about to step forward into anything, love or lust with him, until we had full resolution on his legal matters.
He had to understand that, no matter how badly our bodies seemed ignorant to the truth. I could deny it all day long, but I would belong to him one way or the other.
Hell, I already did.
The sound of someone clearing their throat behind me caused me to turn and stiffen. The last person I expected to see darkening my door stood there, her eyes hateful, her stance almost aggressive.
“Melissa. What are you doing here?”