CHAPTER FIVE
Zek
I could tell by the sound of her voice that something was wrong. After wrapping things up with Celia, I’d spent an hour talking with Jeffery about everything. I was all in, but not for him or Alisa, though they both mattered more than enough to stay for. I was in for me. Celia’s story was no different than mine, nor was Jeffery’s. We’d all done something that we were ashamed of, something that changed the trajectory of our lives, but maybe that’s what it was all about.
Being brave enough to try again.
Alisa’s soft voice pulled me into wanting to try anything until I got it right. Maybe it wasn’t just about her deserving the best, but me simply wanting to be that for her no matter the cost. It was a good feeling.
I left the office and walked down to the bottom floor to wait on her as warmth swept through me.
She walked in through the crowd of people standing in front of the building and gave me a cute smirk. “What? Were you waiting for me?”
“Yep. I’m going to sweep you away and remind you that we’re not city folk. We look like them, talk like them, hell I bet we even smell like them.” I pulled her to me and pressed my lips softly to hers. “You even taste like one. Not that I know—”
“You seem better.” She pressed her fingers to my lips. “I’m glad. I was getting a little worried about you.”
I kissed her fingertips and pulled her hand down. “Yeah, I was starting to unravel. It’s weird trying to reemerge into society. Everyone expects you to be just like you were when you left, but it’s impossible. All the shit I went through, including that madness with you and Melissa... I’m a different man. I’m not sure if it’s for the better or not, but I’ll let you decide that.” I studied her beautiful face, falling more in love with her as she tightened her grip on me.
“I doubt there’s food up at the cabin. Let’s go to the house and get packed up, swing by the grocery store and then get up there in time for a late night swim in the lake.” She lifted her eyebrow. “You up for it?”
“As long as we’re talking no swimsuits.” I wagged my eyebrows playfully.
“And have a fish nibble at my butt? No way. I’m wearing my suit.” She turned and took the hand I offered her.
“Hmm... what can I do to talk you into being more adventurous? The girl I fell in love with would have jumped from a high dive naked if it would get the boys talking.” I glanced over at her and laughed at the shit-eating grin she had on her face. Something was bothering her, but much like I did when she was around, she was relaxing because of me. It felt good.
“I’m still that girl. Fine. No suits.” She pushed the door to walk out onto the city streets and tightened her grip on my hand. The press moved in as if they’d been waiting patiently all damn day for me to reemerge. With all of the stories on the news that morning, I had a hard time believing they didn’t have something or someone better to follow.
I ignored their probing and opened Alisa’s door for her when we reached my car. She got in and turned to me as I got in and buckled up.
“I need you to help me think through something.” She took a quick breath, and I turned to face her.
“You wanna do this now, or on the way up to the lake? It’s a bit of a drive. Let’s talk about whatever you’re considering then. That okay?” I slid my hand down her thigh and squeezed her knee. “Just lean back and rest for now. Relax and know that whatever is bugging you, we’re going to figure it out.”
“Okay. You’re right.” She wrapped her hand over the top of mine and let out a soft sigh. “Can you invite Mark and Lizzy to come up for dinner tonight? I want to cook something good for all of us. We haven’t seen them in forever, and I know they want to celebrate your first day of freedom with you.”
“Yeah, but I’m not inviting them to stay the rest of the week with us. I want time just me and you.” I moved my hand back up her thigh, shaking off her hold on me. “I know I have you every night, but I honestly can’t stop thinking of the next time I’ll get to press my lips to yours or slide my hands over your silky skin.”
“You’re turning me on.” She looked over at me with a dreamy look in her eyes. She could play attorney all day long, but she was still little Alisa Beeler when she looked at me like that.
“Hold that thought, and I promise to exploit it fully later tonight.” I smiled as she swatted at me before closing her eyes.
“I love you. Be mine forever,” she whispered softly before letting out a contented sigh.
“You’re stuck, baby.”
***
We took our time packing, and by the time we’d stopped by the grocery store and were on our way to the lake house, it was getting dark. Lizzy and Mark were going to meet us up there for a late dinner, and some part of me lamented over Alisa wanting to share the evening with them, but I understood it.
My brother and his wife had been far too good to me, and Alisa had grown close to both of them over the last year.
“So here’s the deal,” Alisa started as she pulled me from my thoughts. “I realized today that I’m not happy.”
“With us?” I turned my attention to her as my heart constricted in my chest. There hadn’t been another time in my life that I was so damn scared of losing someone like I was her. The drama with Melissa and Dillon the year before was enough to leave me freaking out at the most simple of situations, but having Alisa fall out of love with me was never a thought I’d entertained.
“No, baby. You’re stuck too.” She turned in her seat and pulled her legs up to her chest as she pressed her cheek to her knees. Her jeans fit her almost too well, and I couldn’t help but reach over and brush my hand down the back of her thigh before swiping my fingers over her mound.
“Zek. Jeez.” She swatted at me. “I’m being serious right now.”
“I’m trying. Put your legs down.” I lifted my eyebrow and gave her a cocky smirk. “You’re the girl of my dreams. Excuse me for wanting to find any excuse to touch you.”
“I’m not happy with my career move. I love working with Jeffery, and I think working with you would be great, but I miss the high emotional experience of being in court.” She sighed and dropped her legs from the seat. “I’m not sure what to do, but after seeing Lizzy this morning when I slipped away for a bit, she wants to talk about opening a private practice for just the two of us. She’s been dealing with some shit at the firm and is ready for a change too.”
“Really? That surprises me. Lizzy has always talked about Dellup like it was the end all be all.” I put both hands on the wheel and tried to stop thinking about how good it would feel to hold Alisa in the dark coolness of my bedroom at the lake.
“I think working at a prestigious firm like Dellup is every lawyer’s dream, but we quickly forget that those guys get their name by looking ethical, but not following very many rules at all.” She turned to look out the window as we drove up the side of a hill. The reflection of the sun setting on the lake was breathtaking, much like the beautiful girl beside me.
“Baby, you know I support you in anything you want to do.” I took a quick breath and reached over to rest my hand on the back of her shoulders. “I honestly wasn’t sure I was going to return to the firm when we headed up there this morning. I love you, and I care a lot about Jeffery, but going back is my decision. Just my decision, you know?”
She glanced over at me and nodded. “You’re right. I need to think it through a little more, but I’m pretty sure I need to be back in court. It just feels right, like I belong there.”
“So what do we need to do if you and Lizzy decide that you want to open a private practice?” I pulled off the main road and turned onto the long dirt road that would lead to my favorite getaway.
“We would need a building or an office. There’s loads of paperwork to file. Partnership agreements would need to be drafted and agreed upon. Then we would start advertising if needed, though I’m pretty sure my old clients would be thrilled to hear that I was going back into practice.” She shrugged and wrapped her arms around herself. “I just want to make the right decision.”
“Yeah, but what if there is truly no right decision? What if it’s really just the best decision you can make at the time?” I pulled into the driveway of the house and turned off the car. “There’s not always a right or wrong decision. Sometimes there is a gray area that you have to travel through. Does that make sense?”
“More than you know. Enough of this deep hypothetical stuff. Let’s go make these new side dishes I’ve been wanting to try, hang out with your brother and Lizzy, and then kick them out so we can reacquaint ourselves with some of my teenage fantasies.”
“Only your teenage fantasies? I was hoping to hear some updated and far dirtier ones than those of a silly teenage girl.” I unlocked the doors and got out of the car, pausing to stretch and take in the darkened forest all around us.
Alisa’s arms wrapped around me from behind and I leaned against her a little, loving the feel of her close to me. Why in the world I fought her for so long was beyond me.
Her hands moved down from my waist and cupped my dick, squeezing softly as she pressed her teeth to the back of my shoulder. “I want you.”
“Good,” I groaned and pressed my hands over hers. “Tell my brother to fuck off and let’s take the boat out. We can take some blankets, and I’ll make you feel things you didn’t think were possible.”
She moaned loudly and moved back, popping my butt hard and then grabbing some of the groceries. “You promised. I’m going to hold you to it.”
“I’m going to hold you to the bottom of the canoe and let the waves rock us into a high we both need.” I chuckled and grabbed the rest of the bags before following her up the stairs to the cabin.
I was glad we decided on the sporadic trip out of town. She needed it, and I was itching to get away from my house. If I didn’t see it for a few weeks, I’d be grateful. It was too much of a comfort for me. It was a safety net, a place where I could hide away and forget that life existed outside of my little space. It was dangerous.
The bright lights of Mark’s old truck lit up the house as he parked behind us.
“They’re early.” Alisa moved back as I worked to unlock the door, grateful for the spotlight for the moment.
“You know Lizzy will be early to her damn funeral.” I laughed and opened the door. “Go on in and turn on the lights. I’ll see if they need help.”
She took the bags from me as I turned and walked back down the stairs. “Hey, guys. Thanks for coming up. Traffic okay?”
“You know it was.” Mark moved from the truck, cane free. “You were right in front of us most of the way.”
“Was that you guys riding my ass the whole time?” I chuckled and moved to hug my brother. We hadn’t seen each other in a few days, which was more than normal. He’d been a staple in my year of house arrest, and a huge part of helping me and Alisa work through everything after her run in with Melissa. It took a while for all of us to get back to some semblance of normalcy, but it was happening... slowly.
“I swear the doctor filled his foot with lead when they fixed him up this last time.” Lizzy moved from her side of the truck and gave me a hug. Her voice left me thinking she was in good spirits, but the dark circles under her eyes told a very different story.
“Hey, Lizzy. How are you?” I hugged her before turning and wrapping my arm over her shoulders as we moved to the house.
“I’m good. Just a long day at the office.” She shrugged and pulled away from me as we reached the stairs. “What are we having for dinner?”
“Grilled pork chops, and Alisa has some side dishes she wants to try out on you guys.” I smirked.
“Good. I’ll go help her. You boys fire up the grill.” Lizzy glanced over her shoulder and lifted her eyebrow at us like we were ten and didn’t know how to light the grill.
“Yes, ma’am.” My brother saluted her before turning to me and lifting the miniature cooler he had in his hand. “I figured we could celebrate old school style. I got your favorite beer from when we were kids.”
“Oh damn. They still make that poison?” I reached out and took the cooler before walking around the back of the house with Mark next to me.
“They do.” He breathed in deeply and moved to stand in front of the grill as I pulled out two beers.
“Lizzy okay? She seems a little off.” I popped the top on one of them and handed it to Mark, only to do it again before taking a long swig of mine.
“She’s going through some shit at work. She’s not being very open about it.” He got the fire on the grill roaring before turning to look back at me. “I’m worried about her, but you know how she is. Independent. Strong. Bossy as fuck.”
“And you love all those things about her.” I chuckled and sat down on one of the chairs I had scattered about the deck. The stars were just starting to come out, and I couldn’t help but feel almost overwhelmed with gratefulness at the life I had. I’d been through hell, but it had forged me into becoming a better man, a more focused man. A man I could be proud to be.
“Oh man, yeah. I’d be nothing without that woman in there.” Mark lifted his beer to me. “To the women who love men like us. God help them.”
“Someone needs to.” I laughed and took a long drink of the beer before closing my eyes. Alisa would be mine forever, and it was almost time to set that promise in stone.
I needed to go shopping — for a ring.