Gage

Living with the kind of guilt Clover and I have been living with does something to a person. It sits in the recesses of your mind festering like an infection affecting every aspect of your life. It causes you to doubt yourself. You don’t like yourself, and you’re constantly worried the world will find out what you did and say, ‘Ah ha! I knew there was something wrong with that guy!’”

Guilt is like a straightjacket holding you hostage from enjoying life. I should know, it’s been holding me hostage for years on a mountain away from a world full of people who used to love me.

After dinner, we watch a movie, and Adley passes out on the couch. When the credits start to roll, I glance down at Clover. She is lying between my legs on her side with her cheek pressed against my chest. Her eyes are droopy, but she’s still awake. “Hey, come upstairs with me,” I whisper in her ear.

“Hmm?” she murmurs forcing her eyes open all the way.

“Adley’s out, come with me.” I nudge her, and she sits up. I stand and take her hand pulling her gently along with me.

“Don’t you want to put her to bed?” she asks as we climb the stairs.

“No, she’s comfortable where she is, and I don’t want her to hear us.”

“Hear us what?” she asks still sleepy.

“Making love.” She stumbles, and I glance back at her over my shoulder.

“You okay?”

“Um, yeah I just didn’t, I mean I wasn’t planning…”

“I told you I wanted to sleep with you, Clover. I thought we were in agreement about that.”

“We were. I mean, we are.”

“Good.” I lead her into my bedroom and close and lock the door. The room is dark, and I use it to my advantage pressing her up against the back of the door before she can think of a reason to change her mind.

Those who suffer intense guilt don’t believe they deserve pleasure. They deny themselves the best things in life as punishment for their sins. Clover and I are more alike than I first knew. We are victims of our guilt living our lives looking over our shoulders waiting for a greater power to strike us down to get justice for those we wronged.

Tonight, I’m going to take those two wrongs and try to make a right.

“Clover,” I moan against her neck. “I’m falling for you.” I slide my hands under her sweatshirt and find her braless. She gasps when I cup her breasts in my hands and push my erection against her belly. I’ve been hard for hours lying on the couch waiting for Adley to fall asleep. What am I saying? I’ve been hard for her for weeks. Every time we are in the same room, which is often, my cock recognizes her and stands at attention.

“I’m going to worship your body until you beg me to stop, and then I’m going to worship it more. I’m going to bury my cock deep inside you and make you come more times than you ever had with any other man. I want your legs weak and your pussy bruised tomorrow. I want you to think of me, and this night, every time you sit down for a week.”

“Oh…” she breathes against my cheek.

“Are you ready?” I ask, and she nods. “Put your arms up.” She raises her arms in the dark, and I lift her sweatshirt over her head and toss it aside. I tug on the drawstring of her sweatpants, and they fall pooling at her feet leaving her bare.

I touch her slick mound, and she flinches. “Relax, beautiful, you’re safe with me. I’m going to make you feel so fucking good. I slide my finger down her hot seam savoring the feel of her soft skin before I slip two fingers inside her. I cover her mouth with mine matching the thrusts of my tongue with my fingers until she’s writhing against the door.

“Gage…” she whimpers, and I leave her mouth. She makes a sound of protest until I begin a trail of kisses that end with me on my knees in front of her. I raise her leg up and drape it over my shoulder. “Hold onto something.” She takes hold of the doorknob in one hand and my shoulder with the other.

I rest my cheek against her inner thigh and breathe in the scent of lemon body wash and pure woman. Something in me connects with this scent, it is so entirely her and so entirely irresistible. I kiss her bare mound and lower my focus to her crease where I slide my tongue in and lick her clit, circling it until her legs buckle, and she comes long and hard crying my name.

When her breath evens, I lower her leg from my shoulder. I stand and carry her limp body to the bed. “Birth control?” I say simply, wanting to be responsible but not wanting to ruin the mood with too many words.

“Yes, the pill for five years.”

“I’m clean.” She nods, and I reach back and pull my sweatshirt off by the collar breaking eye contact only when the material passes over my head. She looks like the definition of desire with her arms on either side of her head bent and relaxed, her hair splayed out around her, and her legs spread open waiting for me to settle between them.

I unzip my jeans and push them down with my feet freeing my heavy cock for her to see. Pressing my knee into the mattress next to her thigh, I hover over her, my hair hanging down shielding us from seeing anything but each other.

She reaches up and touches my hair watching as her fingers slide through the loose waves. “It’s not fair, you know.”

“What’s not fair, beautiful?”

“That your hair is more beautiful than mine.”

“Not true, but if you think so, I’ll cut it off.” Her eyes go wide, and she gives my hair a yank.

“Don’t you dare. This, though…” she says stroking my long beard. “This could use a trim.”

“Done. First thing tomorrow.” She smiles, and I press a kiss to her soft lips. I lower myself down, my cock brushing against her slick sex, and our skin sizzling between us. It’s like a power surge happens when we make contact, and it propels us forward until our bodies are a tangle of arms and legs fighting for attention.

She arches her body into mine, and I push her back down into the mattress and enter her with force. She claws at my back when I fill her, and I pause pulsing inside of her. She feels so good that I’m at risk of seriously embarrassing myself if I don’t slow down.

It’s been weeks of wanting her, and now that she’s in my arms, in my bed, and I am in her, I don’t want to ruin it by being a one-minute man. She stills under me as if she knows I’m on the edge and waits patiently for me to get my shit together.

When I no longer feel like I’m going to explode, I begin a slow pace sliding in and out with a small roll of my hips every other thrust. She meets me every time I enter her tilting her hips upward to take as much as her body will allow. Her lips part, and she starts to pant and grip my sides harder when she’s close. She exhibits dozens of tells that I commit to memory forever. Her eyes gloss over, her mouth opens wider, she tips her head back pressing it into the pillow, and I speed up with only one goal in mind—to make her come again and again.

Every muscle in her body tenses, her eyes roll back in her head, and she makes a strangled sound when she begins to spasm around my cock. I feel her tighten around me, and I can’t stop myself from coming any more than I can stop myself from breathing.

When it happens, I see stars, fucking stars like I saw when Jack Smith hit me in the head playing baseball in the second grade. Her hands come up and snake around my neck pulling me flush with her body. “I’ll crush you,” I murmur against her damp hair.

“I don’t care. I want to feel every inch of you on me while you’re still inside me.”

She unwraps her legs from around my back and slides them under me while we are still connected covering herself with my two hundred plus pound body. I lean to the side to take the pressure off, but she pulls me back. “No,” she says, and I give in to her wish.

We lay this way for a few minutes catching our breath and recovering until I can’t stand the thought of her small body under the weight of mine anymore. I lift up on my elbows and look into her hooded eyes. “I’m not done with you yet, beautiful,” I say running the tip of my finger along the curve of her collarbone feeling myself swell again inside of her.

“No?” she asks raising her eyebrows.

“No,” I say sliding out and flipping her over in one swift motion. She squeals when she hits the mattress with a swoosh. “Shush or you’ll wake Adley,” I say although I know for a fact that she can sleep through just about anything.

Grabbing her hips, I hoist her perfect ass up in the air and enter her again. She’s soaking wet from our first go around, and I plan on making her even wetter. I push in and out of her body watching her swallow up my cock greedily with every thrust. She arches and pushes against me the same way she did on her back, but it feels deeper in this position, and it’s making me crazy.

I brush my thumb across the pucker of her ass, and she moans. I insert my finger and watch her hands fist at the sheets. I slide in deeper, and she pushes back easing my concern that she was moaning in pain and not ecstasy.

I catch a glimpse of our reflection in the window overlooking the mountains. What an incredible picture that would be, me inside of her, her ass in the air clutching the sheets, sweat glistening off of our bodies reflected against the dark mountain silhouette.

I file the memory away for later and focus on the sound of our bodies slapping against each other. “I’m going to come,” I say as a fair warning so she can do the same if she’s ready. I would wait for her, but I’m out of control like I’ve never been before.

I grab her hips abandoning her ass and smash into her with one last deep thrust. I can feel her orgasm clutching my cock as it spasms inside her for the second time in less than an hour.

We collapse onto our sides, and I pull her into the curve of my body. “You…”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. Woman, you make me crazy. I could keep this up all night.”

“I would let you keep this up all night except that we have another human being to take care of bright and early in the morning.”

She shivers, and I reach down and pull my thick, plush blanket over our sweaty bodies. “How about another hour or two?”

“I think that’s reasonable,” she says twisting her head to kiss me on the nose.

“There’s nothing reasonable about this.” The tone of my voice has changed from playful to serious. “I haven’t felt like this for anyone since Constance, and even that was different. I loved my wife. She was everything to me then, but when I look at you… I don’t know how to explain it.”

She turns in my arms, and I see something in her eyes I wasn’t expecting. Something I’d hoped for, but now that I’m faced with it, it scares me. Something I don’t deserve from a woman as pure and beautiful and wonderful as Clover.

Love.