Clover

How did I go so long without this? The way he eats me alive with his sharp green eyes and turns me to jelly with the sexy, rough voice. I can’t live without him. I thought I could, but it’s impossible. He makes me feel things no man has made me feel, and there’s a sense of belonging I lost when my parents died that comes back when I’m with Gage and Adley.

“Wanna skip dinner out and have a picnic in the backyard with everybody? I think we ended up talking about what you came to talk about already. Not to mention going out now that you’ve talked to the press is going to be a circus.”

“Sure, we’ll talk later. Can I help with dinner?”

“You know how to grill, right?”

“I do, pretty good at it if I do say so myself.”

“Perfect, I’ll tell Heather you’re handling the grill, and we can do the rest.”

I love the idea of having them here with us, cooking, eating and sleeping under the same roof. I turn to head into the kitchen.

“Clover?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for asking us to stay. I know things have been rough for you since… well, you know. Your nose looks beautiful by the way, they did a great job to keep it the way it was.”

I touch my nose remembering how miserable I was while it healed. “Yeah, it was a mess, got infected, and I had to stay in the hospital longer than expected.”

“I heard, I’m sorry.”

“It’s over, no need to dwell on it now, or at least that’s what my therapist says anyway.”

“He’s right, forgetting is easier said than done. That reminds me, Adley has had a really hard time, too. Up until we got here today, she couldn’t even go to the bathroom without me. I think being away from the house is helping her a lot.”

This news breaks my heart. She’s a smart kid and so independent, and that she’s afraid to be alone is a tragedy. “I’m glad being here helps. Anything I can do, just say the word, Gage. I love that little girl like she’s mine.”

“I know you do, it’s one of the reasons I love you.”

Hold up, did he just say… love? “You do?”

“Love you? Hell, yes. I should have told you before now. I don’t know why I didn’t. Didn’t want to scare you off, I guess.”

“Saying I love you would have done the opposite.”

“Yeah? So, does that mean you want to try again?”

I don’t bother with words. I step into his space and stand on my tiptoes to kiss him. The kiss says I’ve missed you, I want you here with me now and forever, and most importantly, it says I love you.

His hands roam my body reacquainting himself with the curve of my ass and my breasts quickly before anyone catches us. I am doing the same except one of mine is in his hair, which, thank God, is still as long and luxurious as always. There’s no love lost between the beard and me, but his hair is another story. My other hand is on his chest skimming over his abs and pecs through his t-shirt. I wish we were alone, at his hotel, or hell, in the rental car. I don’t care. I need to feel him against me, his skin on mine, hot and potent with his scent. I want to bury my face in his hair when I come and bite his neck to claim his as my own.

“Ahem.” Heather clears her throat, and I pull away like a teenager caught kissing her boyfriend on the porch after a date.

“Sorry to break this up, but the kids are getting hungry, and I thought maybe we could eat a little earlier than we’d planned,” she says with a wry smile.

I push my hair away from my face and smooth the front of my shirt. “Of course, that sounds great. I’ll go start the potato salad, why don’t you show Gage the grill.”

“I’d be glad to, this way,” she says waving Gage toward the back door and smiling over her shoulder at me as she goes. She’s going to do some grilling of her own when she gets him out there alone, I’ll bet. Poor guy.

I set about boiling water for potatoes while they’re gone. I crane my neck to listen to Adley and Mandy on the patio. Mandy helped Adley take the Barbies out there so she could play while we barbeque. She’s a senior in high school this year, way past the age of playing with dolls. I’ll have to remember to thank her later for being so kind to Adley.

Dinner is perfection. The food was delicious. Gage wasn’t lying about his grilling skills, I ate twice as much as usual. The conversation flowed from Gage’s days as a singer to Wes’s new girlfriend to Mandy’s college choices and ended on my dream of opening a summer camp. Heather asked Gage a million questions about his life, and he graciously answered without so much as an eye roll.

Heather insisted on cleaning up so Gage and I could put Adley to bed, and now we are in my childhood bedroom looking at photo albums of me when I was little. “That’s my mom, it was Christmas morning, and she had just gotten home from working the night shift. She looks tired.”

“She’s gorgeous, I see where you got your looks, beautiful.”

“I look like my dad, too, here…” I flip through the pages until I find a picture of him close up. “See?”

“Yeah, I see it a little.”

“You can take your shoes off, you know, get comfortable, stay awhile.” I nod my head toward his feet that are hanging off my full-size bed. He is stretched out on his side with his head propped in his hand, and I am sitting cross-legged next to him.

I feel like I’m back in high school sneaking my boyfriend in my bedroom at night. I wasn’t allowed to have boys in here unless the door was open like it is now. But we are adults, and even though Heather set up the guest room for Gage downstairs, I know he will be sleeping in here with me. How do I know this? Because Adley is in Mandy’s room right across the hall, and he hasn’t let her out of his sight for more than ten minutes since they arrived.

“I don’t know, do you think your aunt will think I’m an asshole? Sleeping in here when she made a bed downstairs for me?”

“No, I’ll tell her you needed to be close to Adley.”

“It wouldn’t be a lie. I have other reasons, too.”

“Like?”

“I want to fall asleep and wake up with you in my arms again. But, what I really want to do will have to wait.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmm hmm. I don’t think your aunt would appreciate me stripping you bare and fucking you blind tied to your cute canopy bed.”

I slap his abs, and he laughs. “Stop it, you’re naughty.”

“Damn straight I am.”

“I like naughty,” I purr and look down at him with my best seductive, bedroom eyes.

“I know you do.” He slides his hand over my bare thigh and teases me through my shorts.

“I like naughty when we aren’t going to get caught by my aunt, one of two teenagers, and a six-year-old little girl.” I remove his hand and place it back on my pink and seafoam green comforter.

He chuckles. “Okay, got it. So, what have you been up to for the past month?”

“Besides fighting infection, going to therapy three times a week, and fighting nightmares?”

He lowers his gaze to the mattress. “I’m sorry, of course, you’ve been busy recovering. Adley has been going to therapy, too.”

“It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean to be insensitive. It’s just that’s all I’ve been doing, and it’s starting to make me bonkers. I need to get on with life, ya know?”

“I do. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Going on with life?”

“Going on with life with me, with us. Adley’s therapist says it’s not healthy for her to be living in the mountain house after what happened there. I thought I would give her some time to see if things got better, but they haven’t. She’s terrified there. All the time, everywhere she goes in that house or anywhere on our property, she’s in a heightened sense of awareness. She’s always looking over her shoulder and under the bed and behind doors. I’m going to sell the house.”

“Oh, Gage, really? You don’t think it will get any better?”

“I don’t know. Even if it does, I’ll always see Lenny’s dead body lying in my living room whenever I’m in there. That’s not going to go away.”

I’m quiet as I begin to fall back into my old ways of thinking, blaming myself for killing a man in their living room and forcing them to sell. But, if I hadn’t done what I did, they wouldn’t be here at all to sell the house and live somewhere else. Again, it’s my fault but not.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make it sound like it’s your fault. We owe you everything, I owe you everything. If anything would have happened to Adley, I would have died. You saved all our lives that day.”

I accept his thanks and hold the feelings of guilt at bay like Dr. McGillicutty taught me. “So, what will you do then? After you sell, I mean.”

“Do you like living here in California?” he asks sitting up.

“I do, it’s not Colorado, but I think I’ll be able to find a nice place for the camp.”

“I want to move wherever you’re going to be. I want to buy a house, and I want you to live in it with us.”

My eyes water. “You do?”

“Yes, and I also want to give you this.” He slides off the bed and kneels on one knee taking my hand and placing a small silver box in it. “Clover, will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

He opens the tiny box and inside is a not-so-tiny diamond engagement ring. The ring is a four-leaf clover with a large diamond in the center and smaller ones embedded on each leaf. The band has a feminine, scrolled design all the way around. It’s by far the most beautiful piece of jewelry I’ve ever laid eyes on. So much thought went into this ring to make it exactly right for me.

I blink and nod my head because words won’t come.

“You’re my lucky charm, my personal four-leaf clover, I love you.”

I sniff loudly, and he hands me a tissue from the box on my night table. After I’ve wiped my tears, I find my voice. “I love you, too. Yes, I’ll marry you. I’ll marry you a million times over.” I hurl myself into his arms, and we fall onto the floor in a heap, the ring box closing and tumbling to the side.

“I want to buy you a summer camp. I want to start singing again. I want to start writing and recording. I’m going to make you the happiest woman alive, Clover Washington.”

“Too late, you already have.”