Xander

Every nurse who works in the clinic greets us when we enter. I can’t tell if they are genuinely interested in my daughter, or if they are all vying for the ninety dollars an hour they could make taking care of her today. Either way, Tori is getting plenty of attention, and that’s a good thing.

Tori has only visited the clinic a handful of times and never when I’ve been working. The nurses know her through photographs on my desk and one-sided conversations when I’m going to be late, and I need to tell her goodnight. I don’t believe in mixing business with my personal life. I keep to myself, and they do the same—it’s an unspoken rule.

“Tori, I have to go see my first patient before surgery. Kiss me.”

She wiggles free from Megan, my front desk manager, and jumps into my arms. “You gonna make somebody pretty, Daddy?”

“Yep, that’s my job, and your job today is to be very good for… Who’s in charge of Tori today?”

“That’s me,” Sophia says stepping forward. Sophia is a young, beautiful brunette from Miami who moved out here when she graduated from college. She’s organized, doesn’t curse, is single, and always talking about having kids someday. Perfect.

“Okay, she had breakfast about an hour ago, and she brought some things to do in the pink princess backpack.”

Tori cups her hand around my ear and whispers. “Daddy, is she safe?” Something about those four words guts me. This poor kid shouldn’t be worrying about her safety in her father’s clinic, but then again, she doesn’t even feel safe in her own home thanks to her fucking mother.

“Yes, baby, don’t worry. Sophia will be with you all the time, and everyone else works here with Daddy every day. I assure you they’re all safe friends.”

“Okay. I love you.”

“Love you, too. Off you go and listen to Sophia.”

“I will,” she says taking hold of Sophia’s hand and walking away toward the break room.

I take a deep breath and blow it out before changing into scrubs. I feel off today not having had my morning run or coffee. I’m also worried about Zion’s health and wondering what the hell I’m going to do for the rest of the week without her. I’m the only one in the office this week. I can’t take any time off, but I also can’t keep bringing her with me.

By the time I walk into the pre-op room where my first patient on the surgery schedule today is waiting for me, I have forgotten who I’m seeing. It takes my brain a few seconds to catch up with my eyes, and then I remember. The sexy Ms. Rivers is sitting on the exam table wearing a hospital gown and looking mildly dopey.

“Good morning, Sasha, how are you feeling today? Ready to get beautiful?” She narrows her eyes at me like I’ve insulted her even though I haven’t.

“I’m ready to be able to breathe through my nose again if that’s what you mean.”

God, this woman is so grouchy and defensive. I’ve always felt I have a good bedside manner so it can’t be that. Whatever it is, I’m stuck with fixing her nose, so we are going to have to make the best of this. I go about checking over her chart and see that she’s been given a mild sedative already to prepare her for surgery. She should be in and out, but she looks like she’s ready for a fight, not an operation. I sit down, so she’s looking down at me.

“Sasha, I’m sensing that we may have gotten off on the wrong foot somewhere along the way. I’d like to start over if you don’t mind.”

She makes a little noise that would have been a tiny puff of air coming from her nose if it weren’t blocked by broken bone and warped cartilage. “Can we just get this over with? I just want to go home and get back to my life.”

“Sure, what is it that you do?” She tilts her head to the side and looks at me like I have two heads.

“Why do you care?”

Usually, I don’t care, but Sasha interests me. She’s my challenge in a world where there are none anymore. “I thought we could get to know each other a little, that’s all.”

“I sell shoes at Macy’s. It’s nothing glamorous.”

“I love Macy’s. How long have you worked there?” Small talk bores me but not small talk with Sasha.

“Seven years.”

“Do you like it?”

“Stuffing feet into shoes for eight hours a day? Yeah sure, it’s a blast.”

“Why do you do it if you don’t like it?”

“Because I have bills to pay.”

“Isn’t there something else you would like to try?” She doesn’t answer, and when I look up, I can tell the drugs are starting to hit her. I stand and help her put her feet on the gurney. “That medication is starting to kick in, so you should lie down.”

“Okay.”

That’s the most agreeable she’s ever been with me. I take it as a sign of progress. “How are you feeling?”

“Relaxed.”

“Good, that’s exactly how you should feel. So, you didn’t answer my question. Is there something else you’d like to do instead of selling shoes?”

She surprises me by reaching up and cupping my cheek with her hand. I know it’s the drugs, but the simple act of affection feels like so much more. Her hand is soft and warm, and I find myself wishing she would never take it away.

“I want somebody to love me,” she says in a slurry voice.

“Now wouldn’t that be the greatest occupation? Being loved?” I have no idea where that came from. I’m hardly poetic and usually straightforward when speaking to my patients before surgery.

“Yeah. Oh, you could be the love doctor.” She giggles, and her hand drops from my face. I miss it immediately, and I’d pay money to hear her laugh again, but she’s on her way to la-la land, and we need to get her to surgery.

There’s a knock at the door right before it opens a crack. “Dr. Sullivan, we’re ready in the OR,” Carly says, and suddenly I feel warm little arms circling my legs.

“Daddy, are you gonna make this lady pretty?” Fuck, how the hell did Tori slip in here? Carly opens the door with wide eyes, and her mouth hanging open.

“Oh my God, Xander, I’m so sorry. I don’t know where Sophia is, but I will have a word…”

Sophia pushes her way into the small room and picks up Tori. “Honey, you can’t run away from me like that, okay? We have to stay in the break room.” She turns her attention to me. “I am so sorry, she’s quick. I couldn’t catch her.”

“You have a baby?” Sasha says from behind me.

“I apologize, Sasha. Yes, my daughter came to work with me today. She’s just leaving.” My eyes dart from Sophia to the door and back indicating she needs to get her ass out of the pre-op room stat.

“No, no, no, I love kids,” Sasha says dragging out the word love. “Please, can she stay?”

Tori’s head pops up, and she cranes her neck trying to see Sasha as Sophia carries her out of the room. My God, this is a fucking circus, I can’t believe how unprofessional the last few minutes have become. “I’m Tori, that’s short for Victoria cuz I don’t like bein’ called Vicky. My daddy’s gonna make you pretty, Sasha,” she yells as Sophia carries her down the hall.

“She’s so beautiful. I wish she could stay. Make me pretty, Daddy,” Sasha slurs, and I roll my eyes. This day just keeps getting stranger by the minute.

Sometimes life gives you drugs, and drugs make you stupid.