Nate
I’m back in my nightmare.
The city of sin.
The place where I committed my worst and most dire crimes.
I’d like to wash the blood off my hands, but it will never happen.
I have a past.
There’s no denying that, not ever.
Doing this one thing for Sienna though, makes me feel like a better fucking man. She’s the light to my darkness.
“Where are we going? Please tell me,” she asks.
She hasn’t stopped asking since we left.
I have a surprise for her—but it’s not necessarily a happy surprise.
We sit in the back of the limousine, and I watch her closely.
She seems excited to be back in her hometown. Maybe she thinks I’m taking her home.
But that will never happen.
She will never be without me now.
She’s mine.
But I can give her this one day.
“You’ll see where we’re going soon enough, Sienna,” I comment.
In the meantime, I offer her a drink. I know I certainly need one.
I pour myself a scotch and give her a glass of champagne.
She looks out the windows with an air of excitement.
I know she thinks I must be taking her home. And it damn near kills me to know that nothing could be farther from the truth.
Hopefully, what I’m doing will be enough to satisfy her for now.
The limousine winds its way through LA traffic.
And finally, we get to our destination.
It’s the fucking cemetery.
Her eyes widen as she recognizes where we are.
“You’re letting me go to my father’s funeral?” she asks, tears forming in her eyes.
“We’ll have to stay out of sight, Sienna. But I didn’t want you to miss it. Not for anything in the world.”
Tears stream down her cheeks as she grabs my neck and hugs me tightly.
The feel of her body pressed against my own is enough to set me over the edge.
I always have to be with her.
She’s my new fucking obsession.
I’m elated by the fact that she’s happy to be here. As bittersweet as this moment is, any reprieve I can give her is enough to set my heart at ease.
She’s genuinely surprised.
I know this will be a tough thing for her to see, but I would never forgive myself if she missed her dad’s funeral.
“Thank you, Nate. Thank you so much. All I wanted in the whole world was to say goodbye to him.”
I grab her by the waist, feeling her slender body beneath my strong hands.
“You want to go out?” I ask her.
“You mean we can get out of the car?” she asks hopefully.
I take her hand and lead her outside.
It’s a clear day and the sun is shining in LA. But storm clouds loom in the distance. There’s a group of mourners surrounding her dad’s grave.
I pull her back by a tree, far out of sight, but close enough that we can hear everything.
Tears fall as she leans into me, trying to absorb my strength. I can tell she needs somebody to lean on. I wish it didn’t have to be like this. If it had been up to me, none of this would’ve happened.
I grieve in my own way for Hudson Rose, the man who was such a class act as to treat everybody in the same way. It didn’t matter that my father was a groundskeeper to him. He treated him with respect, and he treated me with respect.
Hudson Rose was a good man. And it’s a sad day to see him go, to give our final goodbyes.
Sienna presses against me and I wrap a strong arm around her, wishing I could take this weight from her shoulders.
We listen as the priest talks and we listen to people say things to commemorate Hudson. He was a beloved man, beloved by all. This is evident by the fact that there are so many people at his funeral.
I see Sienna’s mom. I know Sienna sees her, too.
I tighten my grasp around her, reminding her that we’re here for one thing: to say goodbye to her dad. She may not go home. She may not run from me to her mother’s arms as she likely wants to do.
This thing with Edison Shaw’s not over yet.
“Oh, Nate, I’m gonna miss him so much,” she says, crying into my shoulder.
I hold her close, because there’s nothing else I can do. No words will help in this moment.
Sienna has lost somebody important to her, and there was nothing I can do to erase the past. I can only help create a better future for her.
I silently curse Edison. He’s the one that did this to my baby. He’s responsible for the hole in her heart and the magnitude of grief that she’s feeling right now. That in itself makes me want to fucking kill the bastard.
I silently renew my vow to end this thing with him.
I hold Sienna close as we listen and watch the funeral.
We stay there for a long time by the tree. We watch people mingle and talk around his grave.
Eventually, they start leaving.
And then, as if by some fucking magic, it starts to rain.
It’s like Hudson himself brought down the rain from heaven to mark this moment for his daughter.
What could be more fucking perfect in that ironic kind of way? Rain at the funeral.
We stay for a long time and eventually everybody filters out of the cemetery.
Her mother is the last to leave, the last to say goodbye. She hovers over his casket and dwells for a moment there.
Sienna’s crying harder now, but there’s nothing I can do except be the one who bears witness to her pain.
Hudson’s casket is left above ground.
Her mom leaves.
And then it’s just Sienna and me, standing in the rain beside a tree, watching her father’s casket.
It’s the saddest fucking thing in the entire world.