Leah
Jacob Renaud bound my wrists in a red silk rope and gave me the darkest, most sensual look that a man or god could make. He was a wicked Adonis. I followed his gaze down my body. He noticed how my nipples looked and he liked it. I noticed his other hand had a toothbrush in it. "Everything is ready for you in the bathroom. Do you need to go now, or can we take care of something else first?" The question was about as loaded as an assault rifle. I knew what he meant, and I couldn't breathe. The room around me seemed to close in. The soft silk on my wrists was intense even though it was so gentle, and the very outline of his chiseled, toned body was like a hot neon sign for the sin he offered. I wanted every second of it, and I wanted to resist.
"I...I want to go the bathroom first," I said, hoping to free myself, if only momentarily.
Jacob smiled. He dropped the toothbrush between my thighs. Everything that was sped up was now in slow motion. Leaning over me, his chest close enough to my face that my lips grazed his bare skin, he untied the ropes he'd so quickly encapsulated my wrists in. "As you wish." He leaned down, and his face is just far enough away that our noses almost touch, but they don't. For only a second. He gets off the bed and waves his arm in that direction.
Picking up the toothbrush, I pull the sheets further down to free my feet and step out of bed, a plush rug contrasting against a hard floor as I pad to the bathroom. I wonder if Jacob will follow me, and part of me is terrified he will. Part of me is numb and heading into the bathroom, with or without him, to do something as simple as brushing my teeth. Thankfully, he doesn't follow me, and I close the door behind me.
I look in the mirror and wonder who is looking back at me in the mirror. The negligee looks more expensive than any of the old cotton sundresses I regularly wore at home. I'm older, somehow. I'm practically glowing if I'm honest, I know because of just how much I detoxed the shitty life before me with the ridiculous number of orgasms I had and moving into this fancy house. I pee, wash my hands, brush my teeth, , and then I decide I'm going to take a shower. I don't know if he's expecting me or if he's gone. I just know that I have a few moments of freedom, and I want to feel hot water against my skin. I'm a shower thinker. I know that when the hot water hits the top of my head and soaks through my hair, I'll start to feel better, no matter what's before me.
The bathroom is gray and white, and the shower is the size of my entire bedroom. There's an enormous tub in the room as well. I'd love to soak in it some time, but for now, I'm happy to figure out how to work the nine showerheads in this massive bathroom.
They're pointing in every direction, and they're not even all shaped the same way. I'm overwhelmed with the knobs and the sheer number of them. I slip out of the nightie, watching it slink down at my feet. I start to fiddle with the shower and figure out how to get some hot water going. I'm alone and there's nothing but the sound of water and my thoughts...and then cello. That's what that is.
There's a speaker system connected in the shower, and I saw a speaker by the sink, and inside the bedroom. A light cello sound filters into the room at a very light volume; I could almost miss it. The cello is my favorite instrument because it sounds like so many things in every bellow. He couldn't know this. It must be a coincidence. But it ruffles me. I'm not sure why everything that I should be pleased with upsets me and everything that should upset me turns me on, but I'm not here in the shower to feel more confused. I run the hot water through my hair, feeling the full length of my hair getting hot. There's a showerhead that's pointing to my stomach. One on my back. Several on my shoulders. I can relax like this and I should.
So why is everywhere the water heating making me imagine what it would feel like if Jacob were touching me instead?
Maybe because he's going to fuck me soon. I know that's what's coming afterward. I might get to eat breakfast first. I might not. I don't know if I can eat right now, though I should be hungry. I normally eat very early. I run my hands over my stomach, and that natural hunger that I would have after waking isn't there. I know it will be soon. I listen to the music and run my hands over my body. I know I'm imagining Jacob touching me, and why not? I should soften myself up for what's coming.
And I have to wash every inch of me. After the way his mouth was all over me yesterday, I'm self-conscious. I have to be perfect for him, not because I want him to enjoy it so much as I would die of shame if I stunk. After all the sweating I did yesterday, I should smell terrible. I see that there's a lot of Lush bath products in here, something I've heard about before. They live up to the name, and I smell almost as rich as Jacob when I'm done.
That thought makes me think about my stocks. How different my life is already. I usually wake up hungry and head right to the ticker to do my research. I keep thorough notes and track everything. Now I'm using an insane amount of hot water with a thousand showerheads before an impossibly dangerous, sexy man takes my virginity and will smugly know I'm looking forward to it. God, yes I am. Soaping every inch of my body had me imagining how, after getting it so clean, I would probably be drenched in sweat all over again.
Fuck, the cello and the heat and everything has my head dizzied. I rinse off and go to towel my hair. I need to eat. I feel the pang in my stomach right away, and I'm not surprised after all the calories I must have burned not just last night but with all the internal heat my thoughts generated.
I realize as I step out of the bathroom and I'm alone...I don't have my phone. That's where I see my whole world start, generally. I'm not in the mood, for the first time in my life, to study the ticker, but I'm feeling very disjointed now. My hunger has done that. I need to eat and have a moment where that's all I'm thinking about, though I don't know if I'll get that.
I bring my towel to the sink and grab a hairbrush, taking the time to brush out every strand and finding a hair tie that I use to put my hair up in a bun. I don't know if I'm supposed to do anything different than I normally would. I'm not even sure I want to leave this room and try to figure out what I should be doing. I'm so nervous I am about to start shaking. It just washed over me, and I looked at myself in the mirror and saw that I was even paler than usual. The music changed from cello to light piano, and for some reason I'm grateful. I just needed something tranquil that wasn't tugging so much at everything tearing apart in my soul.
Because that's my crisis now. I'm torn between the genuine relief of never having to see my father again and the fact that I have no idea what my life is going to be like now. Today, I'm going to have sex, real sex, for the very first time. Jacob's massive cock will be inside me, and even though he's already made me come, that's different. I just feel that's different in my head and I'm nervous all over again. I remember how he broke me out of my nerves before but I feel like my mind will rush and my heart will race, and I won't be able to contain my anxiety. The fact that he will calm me down before he fucks me just makes me angry. If he even does. I remember the kinkiness he alluded to. He's going to tie me up. I know that.
Oh god.