Chapter Five

Denise

I read Jack’s file, flipping over the doctor’s notes and making my own notes as well. There are a whole bunch of things he didn’t do or even try because they were probably scared of the risk. I shake my head.

I have a whole sheet of notes that I need to ask the doctor when he calls me tomorrow afternoon. I set my alarm for eight, so I’m up and out the door by eight thirty. When I walk into the hospital at a five to nine, the nurses all look at me. “I thought you were off till tomorrow?” Mallory, the head nurse, asks me.

“I’m not here.” I smile at her. “I’m a figment of your imagination.” I sip my Starbucks latte. “I have a patient coming in. He’s new; his name is Ja—” I don’t have time to finish when I hear my name being called.

“Dr. Denise.” I turn and see Jack holding the hand of his nurse. His jacket carefully zipped up and his hat on his head. “That’s her, Sarah, that’s Denise.” I look over at the nurse who is perfectly put together, her curly blond hair hanging to her shoulders, wearing tight jeans and a beige jacket. I walk to them, smiling at her and then Jack. “She’s going to make me all better.” He looks at Sarah, telling her with the biggest smile, and for the first time in my whole career, I want to do it more than I want anything else.

“Did you sleep good?” I ask him, and Sarah answers.

“He did. He slept from seven thirty to seven this morning. I checked on him during the night, and everything was okay.” I nod at her.

“Mallory, come and meet Jumping Jack.” I look over, and Mallory comes over. She has four kids of her own. Her two eldest kids are in the military, so she takes no nonsense from anyone.

“I smell trouble.” She smiles at him, leaning down to smell him. “Yup, big-time trouble.”

“Not me,” he says and scratches his head.

“Do you want to take off your hat?” I ask him, smiling, and he looks down at the floor and then up again.

“Mommy doesn’t like it when I take it off. She says it makes me look too sick,” he says quietly, and my heart fills with two different emotions at the same time. One to protect him and the other of hatred for a woman I’ve never met but who has given birth to this amazing kid. I look over at Mallory, who looks like she is going to “cut a bitch” as she puts it.

I squat down in front of him. “It’s okay, buddy,” I tell him. “You’re going to have to take it off anyway when you have your tests.”

He moves his little hand to the hat and slowly peels it off. “I think you look better without the hat, Jumping Jack,” Mallory says, smiling at him, and she gently rubs his head. “Don’t you guys think so?”

“I do,” Sarah answers right away. I look up and see tears in her eyes. “He looks handsome.”

“I do?” He looks at us as if we just told him that he’s having chocolate for dinner.

“You do.” I nod at him. “Now, how about you follow Mallory? She’ll put you in a bed, and we can start getting you better?” I say.

“Are you coming with me?” he asks me, and I nod.

“I’m just going to put my coat away, and then I’ll meet you there, Jumping Jack.”

“Okay,” he says, and Mallory holds out her hand to him. He takes it, and I watch him walk down the hallway.

“What a bitch,” Sarah says from next to me. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that, but I just can’t.”

“Yeah,” I agree with her. “I haven’t met her, nor do I want to.”

“He tried to wear it to bed last night,” she tells me. “The kid was sweaty, but he said in case Mommy came home.”

I shake my head. “I’ll meet you there,” I tell her and walk to the locker room. Taking off my stuff, I grab my white lab coat and put it on with my stethoscope around my neck. The door opens, and Steve walks in.

“What are you doing here?” he asks me, putting down files on the table.

“I got a new patient who I came to greet.”

“New patient?” he asks. “I thought you were at your max.”

“I’m never at my max.” I wink at him. “And what are you doing here?”

“I switched with Debbie so I can have tomorrow off,” he says.

He’s dating Olivier, who works with my brother. They aren’t an official item, but they’ve been together for the past six months. Ever since they met at one of the functions, they have only had eyes for each other. But neither of them wants to put a title on it, so they call each other “casual.” The last time I was at his apartment, though, half of Olivier’s suits were hanging in the closet.

“I want you to read the file,” I tell him, “to see if you think the same thing as me.”

“Send it over and I’ll look at it sometime today.” I nod at him and walk out, making my way to Jack.

“Now, this is going to hurt just a touch,” I hear Mallory say, “but because you’re big and strong, it probably won’t hurt you.”

“I have big muscles,” he says, and I lean against the doorjamb, looking at him show her his muscle. “When I get better, I’m going to be big and strong like Daddy and Grandpa.”

“Is that right?” Mallory says as she pricks him with the needle, and sure enough, he doesn’t even flinch. “Wow, you really do have big muscles,”

she says, taking off the blood collection tube when it’s full and putting another one in its place.

She repeats this for four tubes and then unsnaps the rubber band from his arm. Taking the needle out, she applies some pressure. “All done,” she says, rolling away from him on her chair to grab a Band-Aid from her cart. “So what type of Band-Aid do you want? I have blue, red, orange, and green.”

“Blue,” he says, and I look at him. “It’s my favorite.”

“You did good,” I tell him, and he looks over at me.

“I didn’t even cry,” he says happily. “I’m strong like Daddy.”

“No.” I shake my head, and his smile falls a bit. “You’re stronger than he is.”

He laughs now. “But he’s bigger.”

“Doesn’t matter,” I tell him. “Would you like to walk around and meet some of the other kids?” I ask him. Maybe if he sees kids like him, he won’t be so self-conscious of that fucking hat I want to burn. Sarah helps him off the bed, but he doesn’t move right away.

“I’m dizzy,” he says, and I nod at Mallory, who gets him some juice.

“How about you drink some juice?” she says and hands him the cup after Sarah sits him back on the bed.

He takes the juice and drinks it. “Did he eat this morning?”

“A little bit. I made eggs and toast, but he just picked at it.”

“I have some Jell-O around here,” Mallory says, going out of the room and then coming back with orange Jell-O. “Got the last one.”

Sarah opens it and spoons him some as he takes little bites. “You need to eat to keep the strength up,” I tell him. “To get stronger than Daddy,” I whisper, and Sarah’s phone rings.

“It’s Daddy.” She smiles at him, and then hands Jack the phone so he can press the green button. He holds the phone in front of him while it connects, and I see Zack’s face pop onto the screen

“Hey, buddy,” he says, smiling, and I can see he is panting more or less. “I just got off the ice. How you doing?”

“I’m good. I got dizzy,” he tells him, and I see Zack’s eyebrows shoot together and worry fills his face.

“He just had his blood drawn, and I don’t think he had much to eat for breakfast, but I’m going to monitor him a bit before he goes home,” I tell him and then Jack turns the phone so I can see Zack.

“Daddy, Dr. Denise said I’m stronger than you,” he tells him. “And I didn’t even cry.”

“Did she now?” he says, the worry lifting a bit from his face.

“She did, and I showed her my muscles, and she said they were so big.” He laughs. “And they called me Jumping Jack.”

“It sounds like you’re having a lot of fun.” He just nods his head. “I’ll be back tonight late, but we can have breakfast together tomorrow.”

“Will you make me funny eggs?’ he asks him, and Zack just nods while he drinks his Gatorade.

“I have to go, buddy. I’ll call you later before the game, okay?” he says “I love you,” and disconnects.

“You feeling better?” I ask him, and he nods. “Let’s try getting up again.”

Sarah picks him up and places him on the floor, and this time, he’s okay. He walks over to me and slips his hand in mine. “Are there lots of kids here?” he asks, and I just nod at him as we walk down the hall, peeking into Evie’s room. I introduce him to all the kids, and before long, he is playing Uno with Evelina, another little girl his age with no hair.

“Are you new here?” Evie asks him.

“No,” he says, shaking his head. “I just came to give blood.”

“That’s too bad. They have yummy ice cream here,” she says, and I laugh, walking out.

The results come back faster than expected, and I see that there hasn’t been a change in his T-cell count, which is good. “Hey, you’re still here.” I hear Steve say when he comes to the nurses’ station.

“I was waiting for some test results.”

“Good?” he asks me, and I lean back in the chair.

“There hasn’t been a change in his T-cell count, so that’s good. It means he’s stable of sorts.”

“You thinking he’s going to be a good candidate for the new medicine?”

“Yeah,” I say, thinking about everything. “You have a chance to read his file yet?”

“I did, and I have to say I’m not as sure as you on this one,” he says. “They did two rounds, and nothing changed. Not a single thing. In fact, he went from normal to high risk.”

“I want to at least try,” I tell him, and he just nods.

“We can’t save everyone,” he says and looks down, “no matter how much we try.”

“His mother told him that she doesn’t want to see him without a hat on because it makes him look too sick.” I watch his face as he takes in the words. “I’ve seen some doozies of mothers come and go, but that one takes the fucking cake.” I sit up. “Makes me want to fucking try everything.”

He doesn’t say anything; he just nods his head. “I’d hate to be there if she comes for a visit,” he says and walks away.

“No kidding,” I say under my breath and then go to find Jack.

“We need to go, Jack,” Sarah says, and he gets up and walks out of the room, saying bye to everyone.

“Dr. Denise”—he smiles at me as he walks—“Sarah said we can get McDonald’s.”

I smile and look at her. “I told him that yesterday, and he didn’t forget.”

“That sounds like so much fun.”

“You want to come with us?” he asks me, and I’m about to say no when he says, “Please.”

“I’d love to,” I say. “I’m going to go grab my things, and then I’ll meet you at the elevators.”

I walk to my locker, taking out my jacket and purse. “Can you send me the rest of the results when you get them, Mallory?” I ask her before I leave, and she nods at me. “See you guys tomorrow.”

“There she is,” he says. “You took forever,” he says, jumping and pressing the elevator button.

We walk out of the hospital, and he grabs my hand as we walk to the McDonald’s around the corner. We sit down with our meals, and I cut up his cheeseburger in four pieces while Sarah goes to the bathroom.

I pick up a french fry. “We should make a toast,” I tell him. It is something that I do with my nephew when I take him to McDonald’s. “Pick up a french fry,” I tell him, and he does. I hold my french fry out, and he follows my lead. “To getting better,” I say and knock my french fry with his, and then I eat it.

“Let’s do that again,” he says after he finishes his french fry.

“Okay, your turn,” I tell him, and he picks up his french fry.

“What do you want to toast?” I ask him.

“To getting better, silly,” he says, laughing and knocking my fry, then popping it in his mouth. When Sarah comes back, he does toasts with her also till the fries are gone.

When we leave McDonald’s, he yawns and leans into me. “I’m tired,” he says, and I bend down to pick him up in my arms. He wraps his arms around my neck and places his head on shoulder. “You have soft hair,” he says while his hand brushes my hair, and I just nod.

“There is the car,” Sarah says when the car pulls up to the curb. “I’ll take him,” she says, putting her hands out, and he goes to her. “Say thank you to Denise.”

“Thank you, Dr. Denise,” he says sleepily.

I rub his face with my hand. “Today was my favorite day ever,” I tell him, and he smiles slyly, trying his hardest to keep his eyes open. “You have my number?” I ask Sarah, and she nods at me.

“Zack gave it to me last night.”

“Text me if anything comes up,” I say, and she nods. Bending down, she gets in the car and holds his head to protect him. I watch the car drive off, wondering how a mother could not be there for their child, how a mother wouldn’t give their own life for their child. How if it was my child, I would make a deal with the devil just to have him safe. I shake my head, and my phone rings. I look down and see it’s Steve.

“What’s up?” I say, answering right away as I walk into the subway.

“You were right,” he says. “He’s the perfect candidate.”

I smile. “I knew it.”

“Now all you have to do is call the pharmaceutical rep and beg them to include him.”

“I’ll get my knee pads ready,” I tell him as I hang up, and for the first time since I met him, I actually see the light at the end of the tunnel.