Twenty-Three

Allison

“I’m here!” I yell out as I open the door to my parents’ house in Long Island carrying in my bag, dumping it at the door. They really should think about moving here permanently soon. “Hello.” I kick off my new UGGs and hang up my new jacket as I smile at the bangels and the bracelt and watch that I put on and refuse to take off. I walk through the doors and see the winding staircase all decorated. Lights flash, so I walk around to the back of the house, which holds the family room. “Hey,” I say as I see everyone is there. Matthew sits in the recliner with Karrie in his lap as they watch their kids run around the tree.

I go to the couch and sit next to Cooper, who pulls me in and kisses my cheek.

“Merry Christmas.” He smiles as my mother comes with a tray of snacks for everyone.

“Oh, good, you’re here.” She puts down the tray and the kids run to it, grabbing chips as Matthew and Karrie tell them not too much. “I was just going to start cooking. Want to come help?” she says, knowing I’m just going to sit there and watch as she cooks. I nod.

I sit at the island as my mother chops, cuts, sautés, cooks, stirs, and everything else. Karrie comes in not long after sitting down next to me.

“You need help?” she asks Mom, who just shakes her head.

“So,” Karrie says. “What’s new?” She looks down at my wrist, “Whoa.”

“Yeah, it’s my Christmas present.” I say as I look down at the watch, the watch that he wrote he loved me on. “He engraved it.” I take it off and hand it to her. Her eyes go wide as she reads it.

“He loves you,” Karrie whispers as she looks up and I nod. “Do you love him?”

I look up at my mother, who stands there with her knife in midair as I admit to the world I love him. “Yes, very much so.” I wipe the tears from my eyes and smile. “I love him.”

My mother puts her head to the side and is about to say something when my phone beeps and I see it’s a picture from Denise with the sweater I bought her as she poses in front of my Christmas tree. Wait, it’s not my tree; it’s Max’s tree. I close off the phone and look back up as they both look at me.

“When are you going to tell them?” Karrie asks, meaning my brother and father.

“We just started.” I try and convince more myself than her.

“I get it,” Karrie says as she remembers the secret at the beginning.

“Okay, enough about this. Karrie, get the plates. Aly, set the table with the tablecloth. We are going to be sixteen,” she says and I walk to the dining room and start getting the table ready.

I take out the red tablecloth and gold napkins. The placemats are also gold. Karrie comes in with the plates and we go about setting the table. More people start to arrive, like Doug and Vivienne along with her parents. The twins finally come downstairs, kissing everyone hello. I look over at Karrie and Matthew hugging by the tree as he picks Vivi up to kiss her finger. Justin is sitting in the game room watching some movie. Cooper is hugging Mom as she cooks. My phone pings and I open it to see Denise, Steve, and Max hold up their wine glasses. I study the picture, the hurt coming at me. I look around and go to my mom first.

“I need to go,” I tell her as she looks at me with a knowing look.

“Where are you going?” Cooper asks. “Is everything okay?”

“I need to go, um. It’s our first Christmas together and I need to be with him.”

“Who is him?” Cooper asks.

My mother takes off her apron. “I’ll drive you.”

“No. I’m going to get an Uber,” I say, grabbing my phone, and ordering one.

“This is going to be your first Christmas away from home,” Cooper says with a sad face, his eyes blinking tears away.

I walk to him and wrap my arms around his waist. “I love him, Dad.” I cry in his chest. “I love him and I just left him to be with you guys, but…”

He kisses my head as he rubs my shoulders as I cry into his chest. “He should know how lucky he is.”

I nod, wiping away the tears as I try to get an Uber in Long Island to drive me all the way back to Soho.

“Why is she crying?” Matthew asks as he comes into the kitchen, picking up a piece of bread.

“I have to get an Uber,” I say, looking down, sending request after request. At this rate, I may have to steal my father’s car and drive back to the city.

“Why?” he says as he sits down at the table and I look up at him.

I love my brother and would lay my life down for his in a heartbeat, but I love Max wholeheartedly.

“Because I need to go back. I just have to.”

“I’ll drive you,” he says, not asking questions, not asking why, just doing what I knew he was going to do, make me happy. I’m about to accept when my phone pings.

“Yes?” I say as I see the driver is ten minutes away. “I got one.” I throw my hands in the air. “I need to say goodbye.” I go to my sisters first, hugging them, and then Justin.

Karrie whispers good luck to me as I go to hug Matthew.

“I love you,” I tell him as I hug him.

“He better fucking cherish you or I’m going to skate over his dick with my skates.” He kisses my head. “After I ram my stick up his ass.”

I laugh, thinking about that picture.

“He does,” I say, going to hug my mother next. “Thank you,” I tell her and then whisper in her ear, “for everything.”

She grabs my face after letting go of me and looks me in the eyes. “He better do good.” Then she nods to Matthew. “Or I’ll sic that one on him.” She nods to the side. “And that one.”

I swallow the lump in my throat, nodding as I walk to the door where Cooper is waiting with me with my jacket. “You call me when you get there. You hear?” he says as I put my arms through the sleeves, turning around, the scene bringing me back to when I was six and he was getting me ready for school when Mom was in bed.

“If at any time you want to leave, or come back, you call me and I’ll come and get you.”

“Okay, Dad,” I say, grabbing his hands. “You know how I know that I love him?” I look at his surprised face. “He looks at me like you look at Mom. Like she hangs the moons and stars.”

“Honey, she does,” he says. “I swear if he treats you bad or breaks your heart, I will rain down the house on him.” He kisses my head. “While I have him buried under it. Your mom and I have been watching The Sopranos. I know lots of things now.”

I laugh at him as my phone shows me that my ride is outside. “I love you, Dad,” I say, hugging him, and then running out to the waiting car.

I don’t text him the whole time I ride to his house. The road’s almost deserted. I look down at the picture that Denise sent me almost an hour ago. The three of them sitting at a table, Max’s smile, not lighting up his eyes. My legs start bouncing up and down as I watch the road and get closer and closer to him. My phone pings again with a picture of Denise leaving with four bags of food. I guess he ordered too much. I laugh and look up, knowing I’m finally here. I thank the driver and run up the stairs, trying to get there faster and faster. I dump my bag and grab the key out of my purse, opening it, and swinging it open to see the room dark, almost black, but the shades are open so the lights from outside are coming in, but the lights from the tree light up everything.

“Max,” I say, throwing my key on the counter as he comes around the corner from his bedroom, wearing nothing but his shorts.

“Allison,” he says almost in a whisper.

“I love you,” I say to him from my side of the room, tears now streaming down my face as he stands there looking at me, making sure I’m real. “I love you. I didn’t say it before because I was”—I throw my hands in the air—“I don’t even know why. But sitting there at my parents’ house, with all my family, something was missing. A piece of me was missing.” I wipe the tears that are coming down. “It was missing because it was here with you.”

“Angel, get your ass over—” He doesn’t finish because I’m running to him and jumping into his arms. He goes back a bit, but catches me as I look into his eyes, my hands going to his face. “You came back?” he asks as I nod, smiling, while tears still fall.

“I came back to you, for you.” I kiss him gently on the lips. “Besides, you didn’t open your last gift.” I kiss him again. “Me.”