Chapter Nine

 

The days fly by. We’ve gotten into a routine together. He always meets me in the morning with a cup of coffee, because I can never ever get here before him, and if I’m honest I don’t even fucking try.

He earns his first peck on the lips of the day.

We train for three hours, and I’m always waiting for him when he gets out of the shower. I have to admit I think about him under the water, sometimes tempted to go with him, but I’m not doing that.

It’s now Thursday. I have two days before the kids are back. A topic that has yet to come up with Cooper. I’ve put it in my mind that he doesn’t need to know since this thing is a fling. Our nights are spent pretty much with our hands and mouths attached to each other.

We have yet to have sex, and I’m not sure what the holdup is.

I mean, I know I want him to stick it in me, but we haven’t even been on a date.

“Babe, do you think you can get me someone to do drills with on the ice? Not that you aren’t good, but another guy to shoot to and pass.”

“Umm, yes, I was going to suggest that next week. But I think we can get someone here on Saturday. Would it matter if he’s a student?”

“Is he good, can he keep up?”

“Yeah, he is good, he’s fast, and he was top scorer of his team last year.”

“Then set it up.” He gets ready to hit up the gym.

“Oh, I spoke to Tom. We are going over there tomorrow night, so don’t make plans.”

“Okay.”

I have to text Meghan and bring her up to speed with our status. I don’t even know what to call it, so I’m sticking with fling.

 

Hey, so apparently I’m having supper at your house tomorrow. What do you want me to bring?

 

Oh, look who crawls out of her orgasms and texts me. Hello, ho-bag. How’s the vagina going?

 

Really, really relaxed if I say so myself. Cooper has been getting very well acquainted with it. I’m hoping that his cock wants to come over for a play date, but sadly nothing yet.

 

So massive foreplay, no home run yet?

 

Who are you? Did you just shoot out a baseball term?

 

I’m sorry. Did that stump your vocabulary? How is this then, did he score in your net?

 

Ugh, I don’t know what is worse, baseball or hockey terms from you.

 

HAHAHA okay, bring dessert if you must. It’s going to be only us, so not too much. I’m dieting to lose the last five pounds of the twins.

 

Shut up, you look amazing. I’ll try to get the most disgusting dessert I can, and I’ll ask if they can make it stale. That should help.

You read my mind! See you tomorrow.

 

One text conversation over, my next one is to Matthew. When Cooper asked for someone to share, he is the only one good enough to go toe to toe with him.

 

Hey, baby, you in the mood to share the ice Saturday morning?

 

UMM, ARE YOU ASKING ME TO SHARE THE ICE WITH COOPER STONE?

 

You are so smart sometimes. The answer is yes. Are you up to it? It’s at 3 a.m., so you should ask your dad to drop you off Friday night so we can hit the rink together.

 

Actually, I’m spending the night at Dan’s. Can you swing by on the way to the rink?

 

Sure. Be ready at 2:45. Don’t stay up too late.

 

I won’t, Mom. Love you.

 

Love you, too, buddy, kiss my girl for me.

 

Two days later, I finally get to the rink before Cooper.

I do this just so I won’t have to do the introductions before the ice. I’m so nervous I might throw up.

Last night after we left Meghan’s we made our way back to his house, where we got tangled in the sheets. I fell asleep next to him, dragging my ass out of bed at two-fifteen.

This is going to be a rough day, especially with Allison coming back home tonight.

“Hey, baby, this must be a cold day in hell if you are here before me.”

“HA HA HA, I had to pick up Matthew for you to practice with. He is in there getting ready. Or he might be on the ice already. I’ll meet you there.”

As I get on the ice, I notice they are both on the ice, each skating at the opposite end.

“Okay, boys, we are going to do four drills.” I take my marker, drawing the drills on the glass so they know where to go and what to do.

When I’ve explained all the drills, I blow my whistle and watch them take off.

Matthew is a little nervous at first, skating with Cooper is a thrill for him, but after the first round of drills, he is on his game.

Not because he’s my kid, but he’s good, he’s always been on the ice. I think he was on skates before he could walk.

Cooper skates up to me. “Who is this kid? He is really, really good. Reminds me of me at his age.”

“His name is Matthew. He’s been skating since he was a tiny little thing.” I look over at Matthew, smiling. He skates over, looking at Cooper.

“Was that okay? I started off shaky, but I’m ready for the next drill.” He looks up at Cooper, waiting for him to throw him off the ice.

“You’re good, kid. You skate fast, you handle the stick well, you can shoot, and you have a good head for the plays.”

He smiles a huge ass smile. It’s like he just won himself the Stanley Cup.

“Thanks. It means a lot coming from the best person on the ice. I had a good teacher.” He looks over at me. “My mom can kick my ass on this ice.”

And there it is. The cat is officially out of the bag. I turn to look at Cooper, but it’s too late. He’s skating away.

“Let’s do the next drill, Matthew,” he shouts from the other side of the rink.

I try to get him to notice me, but he avoids me at all costs.

He does his drills with Matthew, singing praise, going over different things to try to make it better.

The buzzer rings, letting us know that time is up. Matthew goes to skate off.

“Mom, you’re going home now or do I stay dressed for the next class?”

“Up to you, babe. Tom is doing his class at seven if you want to jump into that one.”

“Yeah, sounds good. I’ll meet you up for a protein shake.” He walks off into the changing room, leaving me with Cooper.

I feel his anger rolling off of him. My heart is beating so fast because I don’t know what this means, but I’m not ready for this thing to be over.

“You have a fucking kid and didn’t think it was something to tell me?” He leans down, looking into my eyes, talking through his clenched teeth.

“I actually have two children. Matthew who is fifteen and Allison who is five.”

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? You fucking lied straight to my face.”

Okay, now I’m getting pissed. I didn’t technically ever lie to him, I just omitted it from our conversations.

“I never lied, the topic just never came up.”

“Never came up, are you fucking with me? We have been talking about everything for the last week and never ever have you mentioned that you have two kids. Don’t you think it’s something you should have mentioned?”

“Actually, no, I don’t think it is something I should have mentioned seeing as I wasn’t going to let the two worlds collide. So there was no reason to bring it up.”

“TWO. WORLDS. COLLIDE.” And with that, he leaves me here by myself on the ice looking at his ass as he skates away.

Well, I guess that is over. Why do I feel this pain inside my chest, this heaviness? I knew this was coming, but I still can’t help but feel sad. I actually liked him.

The rest of the day drags on with not one more run-in with Cooper. He didn’t even stop for his protein shake after his shower.

Matthew told me he said he was just going to grab something after. So I did what I do best. I continued and left it in my mind where I would think about it later. When I was alone by myself.

I didn’t even have the energy to text Meghan and let her know.

I arrive home at the same time that James is pulling into the driveway.

“Momma, Momma, Momma,” I hear Allison’s little voice and everything I did today is washed away with the sight of my girl. She runs over, launching herself into my arms. I go down and kiss her neck, making her giggle.

“Allison, Daddy is leaving. I’ll see you next week, okay? Matthew, call me later.” James tries to get her attention, but I haven’t seen her in five days. At her age she has a thousand stories to tell me.

I take it all in, waving to James as he heads out. We are together for five minutes before a blackRange Rover enters the driveway. My stomach balls into a fist of pain. It’s tight, and I think I’m going to throw up.

Cooper gets out of the truck and when I look at him I’m blown away. I’ve seen him countless times at this point but each and every time I’m taken aback by his beauty.

He walks toward us. Allison looking over my shoulder at him, I brace myself for the end, because I know in that moment that I won’t ever be in his arms again.

He probably doesn’t want a mom when he can have anyone he wants. Someone without stretch marks, saggy boobs, or commitments. Someone who is free just for him. I will never be that person because I have two people I love more than my life, and my commitment is to them, always.

“Hey there, princess, what’s your name?” he asks, looking at Allison, who has put her head in my neck, something she does when she’s shy and unsure about things.

She looks up at him with her beautiful blue eyes, and I’m afraid that in the end we will both be heartbroken.

“I’m Awlison and I’m five,” she says from my neck, bringing her hand up and showing him her fingers.

He laughs at her. “You are very beautiful, just like your mom, you know that?”

She nods her head, looking at me. “Who are you?” she asks with the innocence only a child can have.

“I’m Cooper, a friend of your mom’s. She is helping me get better at hockey.”

That word friend, I don’t know why, but it guts me. It makes me want to shrink down. Friend. I haven’t hated that word more in my life than at this very minute.

“Baby girl, this is Cooper. He is coming to Mommy’s rink so I can help him. Actually, Matthew was helping me with him today.”

“Matthew is rwally good at hockey. You can’t beat him, he is the best.” She puts up her head, showing him exactly what team she will always be on.

He laughs, full on belly laughs at her.

“Yeah, he really is very, very good. Your mom trained him right. I’m hoping to be just as good as him.”

She struggles to get down.

“Allison, why don’t you bring your bag inside and ask Matthew what he wants for supper while I talk to Cooper?”

“Okay, Momma. I want pizza, so Matthew will want pizza because we love the same things, only I want cheese and no pepperoni. Matthew likes pepperoni, so we have to get some for Matthew. Do you like pepperoni, Mr. Cooper?”

“I love both.”

“Good, if you stay, I can share my side with you, because Matthew is a gwowing boy and needs all his food, so he can’t share.”

“Okay, Allison, go on inside and ask Matthew, please.”

She walks toward the door, dragging her little suitcase behind her. I hate that suitcase. I hate that I have to share her. I hate that I can’t see her every single day.

I wait for the door to close before looking back at Cooper. If I’m honest I was giving myself the time to build myself up.

“What are you doing here, Cooper?”

“I came to see you. I had to calm down before I said something we both regretted.”

“I think you said everything you had to say. Don’t worry about what this was, I’ll continue to train you.” Turning around to walk away, his voice stops me.

“You walk away from me and I will smack that pretty little ass of yours.” He doesn’t even give me a chance to talk. “You think I’m done, is that it? You think because you have kids I’m going to bolt? I know that is what you are thinking. I can see it in your eyes. I know you, baby, even if you don’t want to admit it.”

“Yes, I don’t think you could have handled me having kids, which is why I didn’t want to tell you. With you, I just wanted to be me. Parker. I didn’t want you to think I was Parker the mom. I love my kids more than myself, but I didn’t want you around them, and before you say anything it was for me. It was because I didn’t want them thrust into this fling. I wanted to keep it separate.”

My voice is shaky because I don’t know how much more I can continue without the tears coming in. I hate that this is getting to me. I hate that this thing is starting to be more than I care to admit it is.

“When are you going to get it into your thick ass head that this isn’t the fling you keep saying it is? I want to know you, all of you, everything about you. What makes you smile, what makes you sad, your fears, your hopes, your dreams. I want it all. I want you to give all that to me. I don’t give a fuck if you have one kid or twelve kids, what I care is that I’m here with you. Now are we clear?”

I’m not sure I’m ready for what Cooper Stone has to offer, but what I do know is that I’m not strong enough to turn him away anymore. I know it’s the smart thing to do for everyone, but for just this once I’m being selfish for me.

“Want to spend a cool Saturday night ordering pizza and probably watching Frozen?”

“What’s Frozen?” he asks, and I feel bad for him for that one second.

“You are going to love it,” I say, knowing he will hate every single second, but he asked for this and who am I to deny him this.

“You there next to me is all I need.” He leans in, laying a kiss on my lips. I intertwine our hands, walking inside my house.

“Let me give you a tour of my home.” I smile up at him, and in that moment I’m happy he is here with me.

In the end, he shared pepperoni pizza with us and snuggled up on the couch with Allison to watch Frozen. Allison loved that he was so into it, she gave him the play by play. She fell fast asleep on his lap right before the sisters shared their love.

“Babe, this was fucking torture. Are they all like that, with the singing and stuff?”

“Yes, they are all like that, and don’t you start. I tried to get you out of it. You were the big man, thinking this is a walk in the park. Ha ha ha, never underestimate the power of Disney!” I giggle at him.

“Babe, where do I put Allison? I don’t want to wake her.”

“I’ll take her, don’t worry about it.” I reach out to grab my baby from him at the same time he goes to stand up, cradling her over his shoulder.

“Lead the way.”

We walk down the hall, placing her in her bed and covering her. I kiss her forehead, turning off her light. Cooper follows me out.

“Want to stay or go?” I ask him, holding my breath. I really want him to stay, but after the shock of today I won’t push it.

“Where is Matthew?” He reaches up to cradle my face as he asks the question.

Matthew had supper with us, but as soon as we mentioned Frozen he bailed and said he had some science to study for.

“I’m going to say he is passed out right now, but we can check to make sure.”

I lead him away from Allison’s room and peek into Matthew’s. I guess I was right. There in his queen bed rests the first man to ever have my heart unconditionally, his science book tossed on the floor beside his bed, soft snoring coming out of him.

“Just like I thought. It was a long day, plus he was at the rink all day.”

His hands go around my waist, walking away from the bedroom toward the front door. Well, that answers my question. Guess he’s leaving. He opens the door, and when I’m thinking he will walk down the steps, he walks around to the hammock.

“Lie with me?” he asks.

“Have you seen yourself? You can’t fit in that hammock. You’re huge.”

He goes to lie down, keeping one foot on the ground, lying in the hammock.

“I guess you can fit like that.”

I lie down next to him, or more like half on top of him.

“Babe, we are not getting hot and heavy with the kids inside. I just want to lie down with my woman, chilling.”

“Define hot and heavy.” I’m not even going to try to deny that I want him anymore. I want him any way I can get him.

He puts his finger under my chin, lifting my lips to his, slowly inching his tongue inside of my mouth. It feels like home. It feels that, no matter what happens during the day, if I come home to this, everything is going to be worth it.

That’s what we do in the hammock, we kiss, we feel, we relax, and in all that relaxing I finally fall asleep with my man in my hammock.