Chapter Ten

Zack

Jack’s laughter filled the room, and it was almost contagious as Michael, who laughed just as loud. The whole table ended up laughing, but then I saw movement from my side as Denise leaned over and buried her face into his neck, kissing him after she kissed his cheek and making him giggle even more. “I should get going,” Denise says from the side when she finally stops giving Jack kisses.

She pulls out her phone and starts typing on it when Max looks at her. “Why don’t you get a ride with Zack?” Then he looks over at me. “Would you mind?”

“No,” I say, shaking my head. Grabbing my phone, I call Marco. “Hey, Marco, we are done.”

“Perfect,” he says, “I will be there in twenty minutes. I’m already on my way.” I hang up the phone and look at Denise.

“He’ll be here in twenty.” I look over at Denise.

“Hey, remember when you gave my sister all those rides,” Matthew starts talking to Max, “and the whole time you were dating her.”

“We aren’t dating,” Denise says, and Matthew puts up his hands.

“I’m just saying it would be funny as shit if the tables were turned.” He slaps the table, laughing while Max glares at him and then turns to me.

“I’ll order her a car myself,” he says and looks at Allison. “Where is my phone?”

“Why don’t you ask your daughter? You gave it to her to watch Peppa Pig.” At the name of the show, Alex looks up at her father, grabbing his face with her hands to make him look at her while she drools all over him.

“Peppa,” she says, and his eyes go soft as he picks her up and she stands on his legs. “Dada, Peppa.”

“Where is my phone, angel?” he asks her, and then she turns around and looks around at all of us.

“Phone?” she says and looks around the table at us like we know where his phone is.

“I do not need you to call me a driver because, unlike you two,” Denise says, pointing at me and then her, “we are not anything but patient and doctor.”

“He’s not your patient,” Vivienne starts. “He’s the father of your patient.” She winks at her and then looks at me. “I’m okay with bending the rules, you know,” she says, now winking at me.

“All right,” Denise says, leaning forward and getting up. “This has been a great, great night.”

I hide my smile while kissing Jack’s head because seeing her flustered a little is funny. “Now I’m going to get a ride with Zack and Jack, and this week, you two”—she points at Allison and Karrie—“will come over to my place, and we will organize all of this.”

“I want to come,” Vivienne says. “I mean, I can help.”

The three women roll their eyes at her. “She can pour the wine,” Karrie says under her breath.

“That sounds like a plan,” Denise says, and then I get up with her.

“Let’s get our things together,” I tell Jack, “and get ready for Marco.”

We walk to the front entrance, and I grab Jack’s jacket and help him put it on and then my own. Denise grabs her own jacket, and Max comes to the front door with Alex in his arms. “You sure you don’t want to come back to our house and”—he looks at me and then at his sister—“I can drop you off tomorrow morning.”

“I have to be at work at eight, so that is a big no,” she says, smiling as she takes Alex from his arms. “Give your aunt a kiss, and I’ll give you back to Dada,” she says, and Alex puckers her lips, kissing her, and then turns back to Max.

“You,” he says, pointing at me, “don’t even think about it.” I just shake my head and laugh at him. Even if I wanted to, which I do, I couldn’t do that to her. Looking down and then up again at her, I can’t help but smile. Literally smile just looking at her.

“I promise nothing will happen,” I tell him, then look at Denise. “Scout’s honor.”

“You’re not a scout!” Matthew yells from somewhere in the house, and Denise looks down at her shoes and then up again laughing.

“The car is here,” she says, looking out the window and seeing the headlights coming up the driveway. “Jack, honey, put on your hat.”

She hands him his hat that was on the floor by his feet.

“Okay,” he says and bends to put it on. “Let’s go, guys,” he says, grabbing Denise’s hand, then mine. “Daddy, let’s go.”

We say goodbye and walk outside where Marco greets us. “Mr. Morrow.” He opens the door so I can get in with Jack.

Jack steps into the car first, and I follow him, but Denise is already buckling him in, and he gives her a big smile with a yawn. “Rest those beautiful blue eyes, baby boy.”

I don’t say anything to her as he leans his head back and closes his eyes, and by the time we roll out of the driveway, his soft snores fill the car.

“This was fun,” I tell her, and she just nods her head.

“By the way,” I start, and my hands suddenly get clammy. “You won’t find my name on that puck bunny website.”

She turns her head toward me, her hair flying. “What are you talking about?” she asks, and I shake my head and look at her. In the dark, you can’t see her green eyes that well, but lucky for me, I’ve spent a good deal of time memorizing them.

“I came to hang my jacket up,” I start telling her, “and I heard Vivienne asking how to spell my name.”

“Um.” She hesitates, and I can see she’s nervous, so I lean over Jack’s car seat to touch her closed hand. But it was the wrong move, totally wrong, because her hand is soft, warm, and so small. The shock of her touch runs through me. My hand covers her fist.

“Trust me, I’ve heard about the website. My wife, or my soon-to-be ex-wife, used to troll it regularly.”

“What?” she whispers, and I realize that her fist is now open, facing up, and my hand is in hers.

“Chantal had trust issues, I guess you could say,” I say with a laugh. “Which is amazing, considering she was the one who cheated on me.”

“She cheated on you?” she asks me, and this time, her hand squeezes mine. Almost as if she is giving me strength.

“Yeah, I walked in on her and my best friend,” I tell her. “The week before I moved here, I got home earlier than planned, not a day or so, but just four hours earlier.”

“You don’t have to do this,” she tells me, and I smile at her.

“I know that I don’t.” I look at her, thinking how I would like to touch her cheek while I say this. “But I want to.”

“Okay,” she says softly.

“I mean, I guess I should have known she was cheating; it’d been over a year since she’d touched me.”

“What?” she says, shocked. “She didn’t touch you in over a year?”

“Yup, the day before we found out that Jack had cancer was the last time we were together,” I tell her. “Every time I would try, she would tell me that her head wasn’t in it.” I wait for her to say something, anything, but she doesn’t. She just holds my hand while I pour out the big secret I’ve been keeping. “Then she started to change the way she would do things with Jack. She wouldn’t hold him or come to the doctor visits with us. And at that point, I didn’t want to touch her or be with her either, but”—I shrug—“he was going through so much. He didn’t need to go through his parents getting divorced on top of that.”

“So who helped you?” she asks almost silently. “Who held you when you cried over your son?”

“No one,” I answer honestly. “My parents came down as much as they could, but Chantal wasn’t the warmest or most welcoming person at that point.”

“I would have,” she says so quietly, it’s like she didn’t say anything.

“What?” I ask her again to make sure I heard what I did. When the car comes to a stop, I see we are in front of her loft.

“I would have,” she says louder. “I would have held you while you cried over your son. I would have held your hand through every single test, through every single letdown or good day.” She blinks her eyes, and I feel a tear drop on our hands. “Good night, Zack,” she says, and the door opens for her with Marco standing there.

I don’t have a chance to say anything. I don’t have a chance to process anything; all I have is the sight of her walking into her building and the door shutting behind her. Marco gets back into the car and heads toward our house. I look out the window, my hand still wet from her tear, her touch still on me.

I watch the night zoom by until we get home, and then I undress Jack and tuck him in. I slide under the cold sheets, my eyes landing on the one star I can see through the open curtain. I watch the star blink, my mind racing all over the place. What a difference it would have made to have a woman hold my hand through this whole thing. A loving woman who would put the need of her child first. It’s the last thought I have before my eyes finally close for the night.

Denise comes to me in my dreams—her smile, the light in her eyes, the loving way she looks at Jack—and the whole time, she holds my hand never once letting it go.