Chapter Thirteen

Denise

Best date I ever had.

I press send, and I want to take it back right away. What if I give him an idea that I’m after him? What if he thinks I’m coming on to him? Am I coming on to him?

Tonight, standing in his hallway when he asked me if he was enough, I walked to him without a second thought and touched him as if I have always touched him. I touched him with my hand, and his heat filled my whole body. I pick up my phone and call the one person I know will tell me what to do.

“Mon amour,” My love, Vivienne says when she answers after one ring.

“I think I came on to Zack,” I blurt out and then close my eyes.

“You think?” she asks. “You either sat on it or you didn’t?”

“Why do you always assume sex?” I ask her, and she just laughs.

“Because, bottom line, it all leads to sex,” she says, “n’est-ce-pas.” Isn’t that right.

“I can’t have sex with him.”

“And why not?” she asks. “Last I checked, and believe me, I checked, he’s all there.”

“Vivienne,” I say loudly, sitting up.

“You said I couldn’t go after him; you never said I couldn’t look,” she points out.

“I never said you couldn’t go after him,” I point out, getting up off the couch and going to my bedroom.

“I believe ripping the phone from my hand was your way of saying back up bitch.” She laughs. “Besides, I think he’s already interested in someone.”

“Really?” I say, and I don’t know why my heart has suddenly crushed as fall into bed.

“Oh, you poor, poor girl,” she says, and I’m not even listening to her. Me touching him was so not okay now. Not that it was before, but now knowing he is with someone. I would never ever touch him knowing he’s dating someone. And then I wonder, why didn’t he tell me he’s dating? Why wasn’t she at dinner? Maybe he doesn’t want to introduce Jack to her just yet. “Are you okay, ma poule?” my girl asks.

“Yeah,” I say quietly, “just thinking about something.”

“Something or someone?” she asks the big question.

“He’s my patient,” I say again. “There is a code and a line I refuse to cross.”

“Then walk away,” she says, and it hurts, it fucking guts me, and I have no idea why. I’ve known him for two weeks, and the mere thought of him not there hurts me physically.

“What if I can’t?” It’s a question that she can’t even answer. Not even all her wit and humor can answer this loaded question.

“Only you can answer that, Ma chere,” my dear, “but answer this. Why is he so different?”

“What do you mean?” I roll over in bed, thinking to myself.

“What makes you want to break the rules for him?” she asks me quietly. “Besides a killer face, perfect cheekbones, and crystal clear blue eyes that you can stare at for days and days getting lost in them. His great arms, tight ass, and massive package. What is it about him that makes you want to cross that line?”

I roll my eyes. “He isn’t that good looking,” I say, and even I know that’s a fucking lie. “I don’t know if I want to cross the line or not.”

“Just the fact that you are thinking about it speaks volumes,” she points out. “You’ve made a lot of people happy doing what you do and being the type of person you are.”

“Aww,” I say out loud, “look at you, loving up on me.”

“What I’m saying is when are you going to decide to make yourself happy instead of just everyone around you?” she says, and I don’t have an answer. I have nothing to say, nothing that will answer her question because I’ve never put my happiness before anything else before. I’ve never had to. “I will leave you with that,” she says. “Bonne nuit.” Good night, she says, and she hangs up. I look at my phone, not sure what to say or what to do, so I do the worst thing possible.

I go online and google Zack Morrow and click images. Lots of pictures of him on the ice, in his gear, some of him celebrating. I scroll down and finally find him with a blond woman. I click the image, and my insides fall because she is the opposite of me. Perfect body, or at least that’s what it looks like in her black skintight dress. He has his hand around her as they both look at the camera. Clicking on the picture, the caption comes up.

Zack Morrow and wife of three years, Chantal Morrow.

“Oh my god,” I say to myself, “that is her after she gave birth. Jesus.” I’m a glutton for punishment because then I google just Chantal Morrow, and bikini shots come up, none of them with Zack. It seems she loves the camera, the duck face, and Botox.

I snap a picture of her and send it to Vivienne, Karrie, and Allison in our group chat.

This is Zack’s ex-wife. Or soon to be.

And then attach the picture. Allison is the first to answer.

Jesus, you can bounce a quarter off that ass.

I laugh, and I don’t have time to reply before Karrie’s answer comes.

She probably never eats carbs, which means she’s hangry.

I knew this is what I needed, so I answer.

But at least she can flaunt it.

I’d rather have a plate of pasta and hold my man close than have what she has. She has so much Botox, one of her eyebrows is higher than the other.

Karrie says, and I go back to the picture and check, and she does.

That means she had Botox five days prior, Vivienne says, and then adds Don’t ask.

I laugh, and then Allison answers

Someone is googling a certain somebody. Why is no one pointing that out?

Hussy, Karrie answers while Vivienne says, Salope

GOOD NIGHT GIRLS, I tell them in caps. And they all answer me back with LOL

I put my phone down and look outside. I wonder if he got in touch with his mother. I wonder if he’s going to be okay. I wonder if ... “Stop wondering, Denise,” I tell myself and close my eyes, forcing myself to fall asleep, but it’s for nothing because he’s there in my dreams with his sly smile, his bright eyes, and most of all, his hand that’s always reaching out for me. My sleep isn’t restful; I toss and turn most of the night, waking so often it’s like I didn’t even sleep.

When the doorbell rings the next day while I’m drinking my coffee, I get up, going over to it. Opening the door, I am surprised when I see Karrie, Allison, and Vivienne.

“We brought gifts,” Karrie says, holding up a bag of doughnuts while Allison holds up three cups of coffee in a square tray. Vivienne in the back reaches into her big purse and pulls out a bottle of Prosecco.

“But really, I brought the right gift,” she says, pushing them aside. “Please tell me you have just d’orange?” Orange juice, she says, going to the fridge and cheering when she sees my Tropicana.

“What are you guys doing here?” I ask them as the other two walk in.

“We figured after last night, you needed girl time, and we need to talk about the casino night,” Allison says, taking off her jacket and placing it over one of the stools.

“So,” Karrie says when we hear the bottle pop and Vivienne gets the glasses to make mimosas.

“Continue,” Vivienne says while she mixes our drinks.

“So,” Karrie continues, “we decided that we would kill two birds with one stone.”

“Well,” I tell them, closing the door behind them, “it’s a good surprise.”

Karrie takes off her own jacket and places it on the stool next to Allison. “Let’s get down to business,” she says, and we all sit down to go over the plans. It takes two bottles of Prosecco and the coffees turning cold before the doorbell rings again, and this time I open the door and a large bouquet greets me.

“Denise Horton,” the man asks me, and I just nod my head when he hands me the crystal vase filled with yellow flowers—from roses to daisies to orchids.

“What in the world?” I say out loud, grabbing the red card that is sticking out of the middle. I set the flowers down on the big island and open the flap of the envelope to pull it out, and the message makes me smile.

Jack said he wanted to send you a ray of sunshine. I have no idea what that means, but I figured it would be yellow. Thank you for everything.

Zack.

I look back down at the flowers and see that there is even lemon in the water. “Who is it from?” I look up at their eyes as Vivienne just smirks.

“Jack,” I tell them.

“Really?” Vivienne says. “A five-year-old has a credit card and called a florist and bought you flowers?”

I roll my eyes at her as the other two laugh. “Okay, Zack sent them, but they are from Jack,” I say, the envelope still in my hand.

“Aren’t you guys leaving?” I ask them. “Don’t you have to go pick up kids or take my niece out of her father’s arms?” I look at them.

“It’s a day off,” Allison says, “so we can stay as long as we want.”

“Whatever,” I say, grabbing my phone and walking to the back bedroom to dial Zack. He answers on the second ring.

“May I speak to Jack please?” I ask with a smile on my face, just from hearing his voice.

“Sure,” he says, and I can tell he’s smiling. “Jack, phone for you,” he says, and I hear him in the background. “Is it Grandma?”

“Hello?” he says into the phone.

“Well hello, Jack, it’s Dr. Denise,” I tell him, and I hear him turn to Zack.

“Daddy, it’s Dr. Denise,” he tells him and then comes back to the phone. “My grandma is coming over to take care of me,” he tells me.

“Is she?” I say to him. “I can tell you’re excited.”

“I’m going to show her how to play mini sticks,” he says, and I have to laugh a little.

“Well, I’m calling to say thank you for the flowers.” He must turn to Zack again.

“Daddy, she got the flowers,” he says and then comes back. “Are they pretty?”

“They are the prettiest flowers I’ve ever seen,” I tell him, and he tells Zack exactly what I said.

“Are you coming over for dinner? Daddy is cooking, and he ate one of my spaghettis,” he says, and I laugh when I hear Zack ask for the phone. “Okay, bye, Dr. Denise.”

“Hey,” he says, his voice coming in soft. “Don’t feel pressure about coming for dinner. I know it’s your day off.”

“I wasn’t pressured at all. It’s not every day you get flowers from a boy who is smitten with you,” I say, smiling as I sit down.

“He’s smitten, all right,” he says. “I don’t know if my cooking is as good as yours is, but we are having chicken parm.”

“It’s my favorite,” I say, and I’m actually not lying. It really is.

“Well then, we would love to have you,” he says.

“Great. I have the girls over, and we are going over the casino night plans. So as soon as they leave, I’ll come over. Can I bring anything?” I ask him.

“Just you, Denise,” he says, and it’s almost the rarest time that he hasn’t said doctor in front of my name.

“See you soon,” I say and hang up and then sit on the bed, thinking for a second. I get up, going to the kitchen again, and see the girls putting their things away. “Where are you guys going?” I ask them, and they all turn around at look at me.

“Well, you were having phone sex, so we didn’t want to disturb you,” Vivienne says.

“I wasn’t having phone sex. I was thanking Jack for the flowers,” I tell her, and she just shoos me off, putting the glasses in the sink.

“Karrie is waiting for me in the car,” Vivienne says, coming to me and giving me a kiss. “Have fun.” She winks at me. “The walls aren’t that soundproof.” I shake my head, wondering if everyone heard me.

I watch her leave and then turn to look at Allison. “I’ve never seen you like this,” she says, and I just look at her.

“Like how?”

“Happy,” she says. “I’ve seen you smile a lot, seen you celebrate holidays with us, but there was always that little spark missing. It’s there now.”

“You’re being silly,” I tell her, looking down.

“Be happy,” she says. “If there is anyone who deserves to find happiness, it’s you. Don’t fight it, embrace it.”

“What if I can’t save Jack, and then he hates me for it?” I say as tears streak down my face.

“But what if you save him?” She looks at me. “What if you save him, and you allow yourself to have something you’ve never dreamed of before? You get to love a little boy with everything you have while holding his father’s hand?” she says and comes to me, taking me in her arms. “Let it in.”

I don’t say anything else to her. I watch her walk out the door, and then I sit down at the island and look at my flowers. “He has to be okay,” I say out loud to the universe. “There is no other option. Not this time.”

I get up and then walk back to my bedroom and dress. I do it with a smile, knowing soon I’ll be sitting at the table with not only with a man who makes my heart flutter, but with a boy who has also captured it.