Chapter 11: The King and I

 

 

I DIDN’T hesitate. Not when it came to him. I never had. And I never would.

The moment he disappeared from sight, I followed him through the door.

And immediately fell down a flight of stairs on the other side and landed on my back, blinking up at the ceiling.

“I meant to do that,” I groaned as I pushed myself up onto my elbows. “That was totally planned. Yay me.”

Empty cells stretched out on either side of me, torches lit on the walls, water dripping from the ceiling. The dungeons were cool and dank, and it felt so good to be back home. But I had little time to appreciate it, because I had a hand to lop off for daring to touch Ryan Foxheart.

The hand, as it turned out, was attached to an arm, which in turn was attached to a hooded figure that held Ryan Foxheart against one of the jail cells. Ryan’s back was shoved into the metal bars, and he was kicking his legs to no avail, the hand tightening around his throat.

I stood up slowly, trying to keep the gold and green at bay. The moment I let it out, the moment I called my magic to me, Myrin would know I was here, and we’d be screwed.

I pulled myself to my full height, sure I looked extraordinarily badass and intimidating. “You would do well unhand him,” I said grandly. “Before I unhand you.”

The hooded figure snorted.

Ryan stopped struggling. “That… didn’t make sense.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Uh, yes it did. I’m going to unhand him, meaning I’m going to relieve him of his hand.”

“That’s not what unhand means.”

“It made sense in context.”

“Are we really doing this now?” Justin asked, sounding incredulous as he came through the doorway. “Seriously.”

“He’s just jealous because I have awesome catchphrases,” I told Justin.

“That’s not a catchphrase,” Justin said.

I squinted at him. “Are you sure?”

“Do you even know what a catchphrase is?”

“Uh, yeah, dude. It’s the thing you say when your robes are billowing and you’re looking all daunting and shit. Trust me, I would know. I often find myself with billowing robes and looking daunting and shit.”

“It’s good to know that even when your appearance has changed,” the hooded figure said, “nothing else about you has. Even after all this time. I assume this is the Knight Commander I have bested?”

“Bested?” Ryan growled. “Set me down, you mothercracker, and I’ll show you bested.”

“Since I would know Sam’s inane prattling anywhere,” the stranger continued, “that leaves the rather portly fellow as the Prince. I expect him to have you beheaded for such a thing when this is all said and done.”

“I’m considering it,” Justin agreed. “But since you know us, it’s only fair that we would know you. Reveal yourself before I have my wizard end your life.”

“Best friends 5eva!” I whispered fervently.

“Your wizard,” the man said slowly. “Truly?”

“Damn right,” I said, standing next to Justin where I belonged. “I’m his wizard, and you’ve got my boyfriend by the throat. I’m going to straight-up murder your sorry ass if you don’t let him go right this second.”

“Ah,” he said. “Is that right? I’d like to see you try.”

I frowned. “Really? Because I wasn’t being serious. I mean, I will if I have to, but killing people is bad, you know? I would rather you just let him go, and then he can hit you upside the head or something.”

“Or something,” the man echoed.

“Who are you?” Justin asked.

“A master of disguise, apparently,” he said dryly. “Either that or you’re all still a bunch of idiots. Which, both are most likely true.”

And I knew.

Because no one insulted me like he did.

I remembered the last thing he’d ever said to me, and I—

I will do what I can, but he will be stronger than me. You must do what is right, Sam of Wilds. You must do what is necessary, even if your heart is breaking.

“Is it you?” I croaked out, taking a step forward. “Are you real?”

He chuckled as he took a step back from Ryan, dropping his hand. He turned toward me, reaching up to pull the hood back and—

Randall stood before me. His eyebrows were as wild as ever, looking like furry monstrosities hell-bent on consuming his forehead. His bulbous nose held memories of once being turned into a dick by a horny teenager with penis on the brain. The wrinkles on his face were more pronounced, and he looked like he was on the verge of complete exhaustion, but I didn’t think I’d ever been so happy to see him as I was right then.

Which explained why I took three steps forward and wrapped my arms around him without thinking much about it. He grunted in surprise as I held him as tightly as I could, my hands clasped behind his back, my forehead on his shoulder. I was breathing heavily, trying to keep myself together, but I was shaking and couldn’t stop.

For a moment he didn’t move, remaining stiff and unyielding. But then he sighed and did the most remarkable thing.

He hugged me back.

Out of all the hugs I’d received in my life, it was probably one of the worst. He was thin and bony, and he smelled like mothballs and cherry-flavored hard candies. I could tell he was uncomfortable and was probably humoring me, at least as much as someone like Randall could.

But it didn’t matter.

Because while it was one of the worst, it was also one of the best.

He was here.

He was alive.

Maybe a little worse for wear, but that didn’t matter. We were together again, and maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay.

“You’re embarrassing yourself,” Randall said gruffly near my ear.

“Maybe,” I said with a sniffle. “But I notice you’re still not letting me go.”

“Someone once told me that everyone knows hugs should last at least a minute. It’s only been thirty seconds.”

“Smart, that.”

“I always thought it was ridiculous.”

“Uh-huh. And now?”

“Now? It’s not so bad.”

I hugged him just a little bit harder.

Eventually I pulled away but kept my hands clasped on his elbows.

His eyes were bright as he looked me up and down, then over my shoulder at Justin standing behind me. “Shaping magic?” he asked.

I shrugged. “Ain’t no thing.”

He scowled at me. “Frivolous. You know how I feel about it. It’s nothing more than street magic, a trick to appease the masses.”

Moment over. “It’s our disguise,” I retorted as I dropped his arms. “It was part of our rescue mission.”

“Really? Your rescue mission. To rescue whom, might I ask?”

“The King.”

Randall rolled his eyes. “So you bring the Prince into the castle that’s crawling with Darks? You truly are an idiot.”

“Hey! I tried to leave him behind, but he was all like, ‘Sam, it’s my father we’re rescuing, and I’m going, and if you say no, I’m going to make you poop in a bucket for the rest of your life, even though we’re best friends 5eva.’”

“I didn’t say it like that,” Justin retorted.

“Kind of,” Ryan said.

“Thanks, babe. You’re my favorite person here, because everyone else sucks balls.” Then I frowned at Randall. “What are you doing here?”

“Rescuing the King, obviously.”

I gaped at him. “What do you mean obviously? And you can’t rescue the King. We’re rescuing the King.”

“Maybe we could all rescue the King,” Ryan said.

“Godsdammit, Ryan.”

He shrugged.

I clapped my hands. “I’ve just had a really great idea. I think we should work together, seeing as how we’re all here.”

“Isn’t that what I just—”

“Ryan, now is not the time for whatever you were about to say. We need to save the King.”

He sighed.

I ignored him. “The plan is that we need to take out whatever Darks are guarding the King. I was thinking that I should be the one to do it since I’m super cool and technically the hero of the story—”

“Already done.”

I gaped at Randall. “What.”

“The Darks,” Randall said slowly. “I’ve already taken care of them.”

“You did? But… I was going to do it.”

“Is he here?” Justin asked.

Randall glanced over my shoulder. “He is. I was in the process of trying to get the door open when I heard you bumbling fools moving like a pack of fire geckos in the passageway. You do understand the meaning of stealth, do you not?”

“I’m the stealthiest person in the world,” I said.

Ryan patted me on the arm. “That’s literally not true.”

Then, from farther down into the dungeons, came a tremulous voice. “Dad?”

“Who are—Justin? Is it really you?”

I turned to see Justin standing in front of a cell farther down the hallway. At his feet, two Darks lay crumpled on the floor. Justin took a step toward the cell in front of him, and a sturdy hand reached out and cupped the back of his neck, pulling him closer.

“Hello,” a voice said, strong and kind. “Hello, my son. Hello.”

“I’m probably going to cry,” I told Ryan. “Reunions and stuff.”

“That’s because you’re a sap.”

“Your eyes are wet.”

“Allergies. All the dust.”

“Uh-huh.”

Justin was whispering something, but it wasn’t meant for me, so I didn’t focus on his words. The hand around the back of his head squeezed, and I was filled with this great, warm relief that I could be here to see this.

But then the King said, “He’s here?”

Justin nodded and turned to look at me. He waved, beckoning me over.

I swallowed thickly but did what he’d asked. He was my Prince, after all.

Good King Anthony of Verania stood tall and proud inside his jail cell in the dungeons of Castle Lockes. He wore tattered trousers and a coarse, stained shirt that hung loosely on his thin frame. He’d always been a bear of a man, thick and strong. He was now a shadow of his former self, shoulders bony and knees knobby, but his eyes sparkled with that fire he’d always had burning inside him, and his mustache was still a thing of beauty, massive and luxuriant.

I loved my King very much.

He grinned at me. “Well, now. Look who’s returned. Welcome, Sam. You’ve been greatly missed.”

I burst into tears.

“Oh boy,” Justin muttered.

“It’s been a very long day,” Ryan said, coming to stand beside me. “And an even longer year.” He brought his hand up in a fist across his chest and bowed low. “My King.”

“And that would be the Knight Commander,” the King said, smile widening. “Formal even in the middle of a rescue. I respect that.”

“You can recognize us?” Ryan asked, sounding astonished.

“Of course I can. I’m your King. I would know you anywhere.”

“Either that or he heard me saying your names when you arrived,” Randall said. “Sam of Wilds, you stop your sniveling right this second. We don’t have time for tears now. Be a man.”

“I’m n-not Sam of W-W-Wilds,” I sobbed. “I’m a w-w-wizard now.”

Randall and the King stared at me.

I wiped snot from my nose as my breath hitched in my chest. It was not my proudest moment.

“What was that?” Randall asked faintly.

“He’s a full-fledged wizard,” Ryan said proudly. “Sam of Dragons.”

Randall couldn’t have looked more shocked.

“Fascinating,” the King said. “This is a cause for celebration. But perhaps it can wait until we’ve escaped? Randall struck both Darks upside the head. I don’t know how much longer they’ll be out.”

I was still crying when I kicked both of the unconscious Darks in the face.

Justin stared at me. “That was… I don’t know what that was. Ryan, the key?”

“You have the master key?” Randall asked. “That’ll certainly make things easier. Neither of these two had it on them, and I couldn’t risk Myrin being alerted to my presence.”

Ryan nodded, stepped forward, and unlocked the door to the cell. Because I was magnanimous, I let Justin hug his father first. I wiped my face and waited my turn.

It was as glorious as I expected it to be.

Ryan seemed surprised when the King pulled him in too, but eagerly wrapped his arms around him.

Even Randall got in on that action, though he grumbled about it.

“All these cells are empty?” Justin asked, sounding confused. “I expected there to be more down here.”

“There were,” the King said, stepping away from Randall. “But they were taken and put to work in the City. They thought if my people were down here with me, they’d try to work in collusion with me to plan a coup.”

“And did you?” I asked, wiping my face.

The King nodded. “Almost got away with it too. But someone overheard us, and that was that. So I bided my time, kept my wits about me, and waited.”

“For?”

The King blinked at me. “You, of course.”

“But how could you—”

“I always knew you’d come back,” the King said, clasping a hand on my shoulder. “And even if it wasn’t with you, I knew Justin would come for me. Because if the roles were reversed, there would be nothing to stop me from getting to him. So I waited.”

Justin looked surprised at his father’s declaration. “Dad,” he said.

The King smiled quietly at his son. “So imagine my surprise when Randall of all people showed up. Not who I was expecting, but still. And then all of you came, and I figured the gods must be smiling down upon me this night.”

“Yes, yes,” Randall said crossly. “As touching as this is, it would be prudent if you all shut your mouths and moved your keisters.”

Keisters, I mouthed through my tears.

“Now, Sam, dry your eyes. If you’re a wizard now as you claim to be, you don’t have time for feelings.”

“I’m so happy we’re all together again,” the King said. “Once I vanquish all of our enemies and restore Verania to its shining glory, I think I shall throw a gala to honor you all. Besides, I do love parties so.”

“So kingly,” I breathed.

Randall picked up a pack I hadn’t noticed before resting near the cell door. He opened the top and started rooting through it, muttering under his breath about the incompetence of those around him, but there was a rough fondness to it, so I let it go.

I was about to turn back toward the King to gaze upon his glory when I saw something rising from the pack out of the corner of my eye.

The others were distracted, so they didn’t see what I did.

A little rainbow crackling with brightly colored sparks.

It disappeared as Randall covered it with a thin metal mesh.

No. Fucking. Way. “That’s—”

Randall’s gaze snapped up to me. His voice was low when he spoke. “Not another word, Sam.”

“But—”

“Sam.”

I nodded, as much as it hurt to do so. He was right. We had to get the hell out of the castle. Even if he appeared to have a most wondrous treasure hidden away in his pack.

He pulled another hooded cloak from his pack and handed it to the King. “Put this on. It’ll do until we can escape.”

“Can’t you just suck us through your magic hole?” I asked. Then, “Gods, you would think my phrasing would get better as I get older. How disappointing.”

He shouldered his pack as the King wrapped the cloak around his shoulders. “I often find myself disappointed with you, so it’s nothing new. You had to have noticed the dampening wards placed throughout the castle. Myrin appears to have absolute control of the Darks. I don’t have the time to break his wards, and I don’t have the strength to burst through them. Not without needing time to recover. And time is something we don’t have.”

I frowned. “I didn’t feel anything like that.”

Randall stared at me before he sighed. “Of course you didn’t. Yet another thing Sam of Wilds inexplicably can do.”

“Sam of Dragons.”

He grunted, looking slightly pained. “Right. That’s something we’re going to discuss, mark my words. But now we need to move. Once outside the castle, I’ll be able to suck us through my magic—godsdammit.”

I grinned at him. “You missed me. Admit it.”

“I shall admit no such thing.”

“We can’t forget Lady Tina,” Justin said. “She’s waiting for us near the entrance to the secret garden.”

“We absolutely can forget her,” I said. “Like, it’s actually really easy to do.”

“Lady Tina?” Randall asked, sounding confused. “What in the name of the gods is she doing here?”

I rolled my eyes. “She’s apparently Ryan and Justin’s new BFF and does assassin stuff or whatever. Apparently when you and I disappeared, they decided to fill the void with evil.”

“She’s not that bad,” Ryan said.

“She assisted in the plot that led to the death of Morgan of Shadows,” Randall growled. “And you stand there and tell me she’s not that bad?”

“Eep,” Ryan squeaked.

“She’s reformed,” Justin said. “I vouch for her.”

Randall eyed Justin for a long moment before he nodded. “So be it.”

“Pushover,” I muttered under my breath.

“What are you all standing around for?” Randall barked. “Move.”

We moved.

 

 

IT HAD been easy, really.

Our luck had to run out sometime.

There were voices outside the passageway that led back to the garden.

I couldn’t quite make out what they were saying. Ryan stood stiffly in front of me after dousing the torch he carried. The others were gathered behind us with Randall bringing up the rear.

“Why have you stopped?” he hissed up at us.

“There’s someone out there,” I whispered back. “We don’t know who it is.”

Randall groaned. “The King’s escape will not go unnoticed for long. We don’t have time for this. Find out what is going on and deal with it.”

“You deal with it!”

“I’m old and I just climbed the world’s longest staircase. Do you think I’m in any position to handle ruffians?”

“This is why elderly people are put into homes,” I muttered to Ryan.

“I heard that!”

“Look,” Ryan whispered, “I’ll go up. You stay here and protect the others—”

“With what? Magic? Myrin will know we’re here. It’s better if you stay. I’ll go, just to see who it is. If it comes down to it, you know I can talk my way out of anything.”

“That’s not—”

“Trust me. I’m Sam of Dragons. I got this.”

He scowled at me but let me pass.

Before I was out of reach, he took my hand. I looked back at him. “Don’t die,” he said seriously. “I just got you back, and I’ll be pissed if something happens to you.”

I squeezed his hand, and he let me go.

I stuck to the shadows on the last few steps. The thick vines that covered the hidden entrance still hung as they had before, and I wondered if that was enough to keep it from sight. Either that, or someone had discovered the passageway, and we were totally screwed.

I really hoped that wasn’t the case. I didn’t want to die wearing Dark wizard robes. They were terrible.

I reached the top of the staircase, and I didn’t see anyone. The voices were a little louder, and it seemed as if they were coming from beyond the small clearing. I pushed through the vines, quietly and carefully, out into the cool night air. I looked back, and the vines obstructed most of the entrance. The shadows did the rest. No one would see the passageway unless they inspected the vines closely.

There was something familiar about one of the voices, even if I couldn’t make out the words. I recognized the cadence to the speech, though I couldn’t quite place it. It was just out of reach, an itch I couldn’t scratch.

I took a step closer.

“—and we’re as secure as ever, sir,” the voice I didn’t recognize said. “There’s nothing to worry about. No one can get it into Castle Lockes without us knowing.”

“Is that right” was the response, and a dark chill raced down my spine.

My knees felt weak, and I placed a hand on top of the obelisk that marked the final resting place of my mentor. There was a warm pulse underneath my hand, though it might have been just my imagination. It felt real, but my heart was thundering in my chest and the blood was rushing in my ears, because I was so close.

To Morgan.

And to Ruv.

“Thank you for your report,” Ruv said coolly, his accent thick and melodious. “I hope that your words prove to be fact. For your sake. Myrin wouldn’t be pleased if something were to happen. Especially since Sam has returned from his… sojourn.”

“Sir, if I may.”

“Yes?”

“Is it…? Do you truly believe it? What was said? That he’s Sam of Dragons now? That he’s gathered the dragons of Verania at his side?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Ruv said flatly. “He’s been gone far too long. Verania has fallen to the Darks. To Myrin. It doesn’t matter who he is now or what he’s capable of. The King is in the dungeons, and the gods have abandoned the country. The Resistance will fail. Sam will fall. Myrin’s grace is absolute. He will rule Verania with an iron fist. And soon his reach will extend beyond the borders and the world fall to its knees in veneration.”

“Oh my gods,” I groaned. “Villains monologue even when they talk to each other? They are the absolute worst.”

“Who’s there?”

I slapped my hand over my mouth.

The hedges rustled, and before I could move, Ruv entered the clearing, eyeing me curiously.

He looked exactly as he had before, aside from the fact that he wore a robe similar to my own. His skin was dark, his long hair pulled back and tied off with a piece of rawhide. I could see the tattoos on his chest peeking out over the opened collar at his throat, and he wore earrings in the style of the gypsies, long and dangling, and I felt a rush of anger that he could still claim a culture that he’d helped to destroy and imprison. I tried to keep a neutral expression as I dropped my hand, but there was a moment that I almost took a step forward to choke the fucking life out of him.

But then the obelisk pulsed again, and it was warm and sweet, and I felt it down to my very bones. The rage reduced to a slow simmer, bubbling just underneath the surface. This wasn’t just about me. There were people hidden in the passageway who were counting on me. Now wasn’t the time for revenge.

“Who do we have here?” Ruv asked, cocking his head at me.

“I’m new,” I blurted out. “And I got lost. Don’t you hate it when that happens? I know I do.”

He smiled at me, and if I didn’t know who he was and what he was capable of, I would have thought it kind. “How about that.”

I nodded furiously. “Yes. Totally lost. Like, I was in the castle, and then I didn’t know where I was and got all turned around, and suddenly here I am. Just… standing here. With you.”

“Here you are,” he said, taking a step toward me. “I don’t believe I’ve seen you before.”

“Well, yeah. Just said I was new, so.”

He chuckled. “Right. You did. Forgive me. Your name?”

My throat clicked as I swallowed. I didn’t think Purity of the Blushing Virgins was going to fly here. So I said, “Bill,” because it was the only innocuous name I could think of.

“Bill.”

“Yes. That’s me. I’m Bill. Bill the… Dark. Horse. Yes! Bill the Dark Horse. That’s my wizarding name. Because I’m evil. Just like you. Curse you, heroes! I hate you so much!”

His smile was toothy. It reminded me of a dragon. “You’re an odd sort.”

I shrugged awkwardly. “Yep. That’s pretty much me and this entire situation. Ha ha. Awkward.”

“Do you know who I am?” he asked as he took another step toward me.

I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction. I shook my head, keeping my expression bland.

“Really. That’s… unexpected. Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Ruv.”

He extended a hand toward me.

I had a split second to decide whether I should shake the hand of a traitor or break his fingers and then kick him in the nuts.

I shook his hand.

It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. His hand was cool, his grip firm, and his thumb brushed against my knuckles. I had to remind myself that I had to let him go, that it probably wasn’t smart to attempt to dismember him here and now.

He held my hand for a beat longer than he should have and said, “You seem familiar to me. I wonder why that is?”

I shrugged as I pulled my hand away. “I get that a lot. I have one of those faces, I guess.”

“We’ve never met?”

“No. Hence why we just shook hands in introduction.”

“That we did. Interesting. Tell me, Bill the Dark Horse. Why are you here?”

I squinted at him. “Like, in the castle? Or existentially. Because those are two very different things.”

He chuckled. “I like you. You’re different.”

That wasn’t the compliment he thought it was. “Thanks. I try.”

“You’re touching the marker. You have been since I found you.”

I hastily pulled my hand away from the obelisk. I felt cold at the loss of it. “Yeah, it’s….”

He waited.

I shook my head. “It’s nothing.”

“Oh, it’s not nothing,” Ruv said, moving so he stood on the other side of the obelisk. “I don’t think that word could ever be used to describe the man it represents. Morgan of Shadows was certainly more than nothing.”

Hearing my mentor’s name on his lips was almost enough to cause me to forget why I was here and who I was protecting. I wanted nothing more than to tear this man apart, to break him until he was begging for me to stop, and even then, I would say no, and he would—

I took a deep breath.

I let it out slowly.

“Morgan of Shadows,” I said. “I’ve heard of him.”

Ruv grimaced. “Of course you have. Everyone has. He’s a legend.” He looked down at the obelisk. “Well. He was a legend.”

“I suppose.”

Ruv traced a finger along the words carved into the black stone. “I knew him. Maybe not as well as others could claim to. But I stood before him. I looked him in the eye. And he had no idea who I was. Or what I was capable of.” He sighed and smiled ruefully at me. “Funny how that works. One of the most powerful people in all the world, and I was able to fool him. I was… scared. That day. Nervous, though I couldn’t show it. I had a part to play.”

I swallowed thickly, my hands in fists at my sides.

Ruv sighed as he shook his head. “It doesn’t matter now. Morgan is gone. Myrin saw to that, much like he’ll see to the rest of the world. I just… I understand people are scared. They often are of things they don’t understand. I don’t see why they can’t just give him a chance.”

I stared at him. “The man who took over their country and forced people from their homes and into prisons because of the color of their skin and the faith they belonged to and the class they were born into, and you want them to give him a chance?”

Ruv frowned. “You sound… liberal.”

My eyes widened. “Oh no. No, no, no. I mean. Muahahaha. Evil things. I’m so happy with all that has happened. Dropkick defenseless animals! Or whatever villains like us do. Electrocute the gay out of people? I don’t know. I’m new to this whole bad guy thing. I’m not very good at it yet.”

“There’s nothing wrong with being gay.”

I was very sweaty. It didn’t help that Ruv was absolutely correct. “Right! Right. I didn’t mean it like that. In fact, we should electrocute the straight out of people.”

“Interesting,” Ruv said, rubbing his beard thoughtfully. “I don’t know that Myrin has ever thought about that before. Perhaps I should bring that to his attention. You might just be good at the whole villain thing after all.”

I was the worst person alive. “Or! Maybe instead of electrocuting anyone, we could just leave people alone and let them do whatever they wanted and be happy and let things go back to the way they were?”

Ruv waved a hand at me. “That doesn’t sound very villainous.” His eyes narrowed as he looked at me again. “In fact, it sounds treasonous. Where did you say you came from again?”

But before Ruv discovered that I couldn’t lie for shit, another Dark burst through the clearing, panting as he bent over, hands on his knees. “Sir,” he managed to get out. “Your presence is required. There’s been a breach.”

I felt instantly cold.

Ruv looked only mildly interested. “What kind of breach?”

“We’re unclear on that, sir. A sewer grate outside the City is missing, and there are footprints around it.”

“The Resistance is getting brave,” Ruv said, sounding amused. “Fascinating. Sam returns, and now this. He inspires them.”

The Dark’s eyes bulged. “S-S-Sam? Are you sure? Maybe he hasn’t even made it to the Resistance yet.”

“Are you scared of him?”

“Oh yes,” the Dark said. “Extremely. Most of us are.”

Ruv frowned. “And why is that?”

The Dark hesitated. Then, “It is said he can make your nipples explode with just a single thought.”

Ha! Flora Bora Slam, motherfucker!

“Bah,” Ruv scoffed. “I highly doubt he can do any such thing.”

I told myself that Ruv would be the first. And I would relish it.

He glanced back at me, staring for longer than should have been necessary. “You’ll do well here, I think. Just don’t let me catch you out here again. Do you understand me?”

I nodded.

He spun on his heels, robes flaring out like an asshole as he followed the Dark out of the clearing.

I breathed a sigh of relief.

And then screamed a little when he stuck his head back through the bushes. “I look forward to seeing you again,” he said, winking at me.

Then he was gone.

I waited another moment or two before turning back to the entrance to the passageway. “You can come out now,” I called quietly.

Ryan was first, bursting through the vines, a furious expression on his face. “Are you okay?” he demanded, pointing his drawn sword in all directions as though we were surrounded by villains. “Where is he? Let me at him. I swear to the gods, I will separate his head from his body and carve his heart from his chest and chop his mothercracking dick off—”

“So violent,” I whispered in awe.

“I assume the sewer grate in question was how you entered the City?” Randall asked Justin, who nodded. “That certainly explains the smell.”

I stared at him with wide eyes. “We smell?”

“I certainly didn’t want to say anything,” the King said, patting my shoulder. “But yes. You all do. And this is coming from someone who has spent the last six months in a dungeon.”

“You have terrible ideas,” I told Justin.

He rolled his eyes. “We got my father, didn’t we? I consider that a success, even if we do smell like shit.”

“—I’ll cut his traitorous tongue from his mouth, and feed his nose to a pod of angry selkies, and chop his fingers off one by one until he is begging me for mercy—”

“Can’t you just suck us through your hole now?” I asked Randall. “I mean, we can’t go out the way we came.”

“Lady Tina,” Justin reminded me.

“We could leave her. I mean, she’d understand, right? I’d understand if I was her.”

“You know,” Justin said, eyeing me with disdain, “if you weren’t with Ryan, I’d swear to the gods that you and Lady Tina actually liked each other.”

I gaped at him.

He shrugged.

“Hey, Justin?”

“Yes, Sam.”

“Do you remember all those times I called you my best friend 5eva?”

“Unfortunately.”

“I take them back,” I said savagely. “What, may I ask, the fuck.”

“Oh no. I’m so sad. Randall, you are not allowed to suck us through your magic hole until we have Lady Tina.”

“I blame you for everything,” Randall growled at me.

“—and then I’ll pay for a disease-ridden prostitute to rub their herpes on his toothbrush and will watch as he brushes his teeth—”

“Many things change,” the King said, leaning down to kiss the top of the obelisk. “But how they also stay the same. You would be amused and exasperated, old friend. Just as you always were.”

“Ryan,” I snapped. “Stop stabbing the ground! My mom planted that grass!”

“—and then I’ll roast him over an open spit until his skin cracks and his juices drip from his heated flesh—”

“If any of you call it sucking through my magic hole one more time, I’m going to leave you all here to die,” Randall threatened.

“This rescue mission will be stricken from all history books,” Justin said, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Amused and exasperated indeed,” the King said quietly.

 

 

THE TREK through the castle went better than expected. We only encountered a few Darks, and they paid us little attention as they scurried by. As we moved through the throne room, the King scowled, eyeing his throne longingly. Justin held on to his arm, pulling him along. He offered little resistance as we passed through the Great Doors, but didn’t seem to find the new banners hanging from the ceilings and walls very amusing.

“They’re so totalitarian,” he muttered. “Castle Lockes is meant for all. I truly do despise him.”

The stairways were empty as we descended into the castle’s depths, tracing our path back toward Lady Tina. I held out a small hope that she’d run away or been captured, or she’d simply been erased from existence, but that proved false when we rounded the corner and found her waiting where we’d left her.

Her eyes widened when she saw us, and specifically the King. “Where have you been?” she hissed at us. “There’s movement in the castle.”

“How astute your observational skills are,” I retorted.

“Who is this strange-looking man?” the King asked.

“Lady Tina,” Justin said.

The King’s lips twitched.

Randall groaned. “Sam.”

“What? I didn’t do anything! Oh. Wait. I did, but still. I think the punishment fits the crime.”

“Ha!” Lady Tina cried. “I knew you did this to me on purpose.”

“You’re damn right I did,” I said gleefully. “And if we’re lucky, maybe I’ll forget how to change you back, and you’ll forever be stuck as if one of your parents was actually a weasel.”

“At least he didn’t turn your nose into a penis,” Randall told her.

“Now Randall,” the King said. “That sounded dangerously close to fondly reminiscing.”

“I regret ever coming to rescue you,” Randall said.

“Can we move?” Justin snapped. “Now?”

Ryan was already at the door, ear pressed against the wood. “I don’t think the group of men Sam was going to slut around with and caused to run to church have come back yet.”

Randall and the King slowly turned to look at me.

I rolled my eyes. “It’s not like it sounds. Well. Actually. It is like it sounds, but I wasn’t actually going to do it. You know how Ryan gets when people want to put things in me.”

“Literally everything wants to sleep with him,” he muttered, pushing open the door a crack to peek through. “For once, I’d like to meet someone who doesn’t want have sex with my boyfriend.”

“I don’t,” Lady Tina said.

“I don’t,” Justin said.

“I don’t,” Randall said.

“I would,” the King said.

Everyone turned to gape at him.

He just shrugged. “What? He’s adorable. If I was thirty years younger—”

“Dad!”

“Oh my gods,” I whispered. “I knew I was irresistible! Justin, did you hear that? I could be your new stepfather and—nope. That was dangerously close to sounding like Kevin. Thanks, Your Highness, but I’m going to pass. Even if you are every daddy fantasy I’ve ever had.”

The King looked rather pleased at that.

“I’m so conflicted,” Ryan said through gritted teeth. “I mean, I know I have to protect him with my life, but I also want to challenge him to a duel.”

“We don’t have time for that,” I said, smacking him on the ass before I pushed on the door. “Everyone out so Randall can suck us through his—”

“I will leave you here,” Randall threatened.

They dutifully filed through the door out into the cool air, the night sky starting to fade in the east. I followed through and started to shut the door behind me—

“Sam.”

I stopped.

Took a breath.

Glanced back down the hallway.

Myrin stood there, looking coolly amused.

And I exploded.

The green and gold came rushing around me, the air rippling as my magic burst from my chest, crawling along my scars, which felt like they were burning. The rage that simmered boiled over, and all I could think about was destroying everything around me, bringing Castle Lockes down upon him. This was as close to him as I’d been since he took Morgan from me, and he need to pay. For everything.

“Ah,” he said, a smile curling his lips, and for a moment, he looked so much like his brother that my breath hitched. “You are stronger than you were before. I’m impressed. I didn’t expect that.”

There were surges of light in my head, blue and red and black and white, and they said no and Sam and run run run, and the oldest of them, the white, was the loudest of all, and he said, I promised you that I would help you I promised I promised I promised but not now not now Sam it can’t be now you will die and I can’t have that you need to run.

“Sam!”

A strong hand wrapped around my arm, a chest pressed against my back, breath hot and ragged near my ear.

I tried to pull away, because Myrin was right there and—

“No,” Randall whispered fiercely. “Not now. Not like this.”

A flicker of something crossed Myrin’s face at the sight of Randall at my side, and it almost looked like remorse, like pain, but it was gone before I could see it for what it was.

“Randall,” Myrin said. “I thought I’d felt… something. Pure. And bright. It was….” He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. Not anymore.”

“No,” Randall said softly. “I don’t suppose it does. Not even I can save you now.”

The smile slid from Myrin’s face. “I never asked you to save me, dear heart.”

“I know. And I’ve never forgiven you for that. Or myself.”

Myrin flinched.

He flinched.

“Let me go,” I snarled at Randall, even as the dragon lights in my head pulsed as bright as they’d ever been.

“Sam!” a voice cried out behind us, and through the haze of green and gold, through the rage that roared through me, demanding revenge against this Dark wizard who had stolen Morgan away from me, I heard him. My cornerstone. He was calling for me, and he sounded terrified.

“This isn’t over,” I snapped at Myrin.

“No,” he said quietly. “I don’t expect it is.”

Randall jerked me through the door, raising his hand as it closed behind us. A rush of magic that felt achingly familiar shot from him, and the stone around the doorway collapsed, dust billowing up as the ground shook.

Randall threw me forward and I slammed into Ryan’s chest, his arms coming up around me. I looked up at him. His brow was furrowed, and he held me protectively against his chest as the others gathered around us.

The collapsed doorway began to rumble, and Randall bellowed, “Hold on!”

And then we were sucked through Randall’s magic hole and—