Chapter 1: Badass Mothercracker

 

 

BUT.

There was hope, wasn’t there?

Because even when the world seems at its darkest, there is always a light in the distance, a beacon in the night, a quiet strength that would be called upon to—

“Okay, Sam. You know I love you, right?”

I blinked up at Kevin, who towered above me as we made our way through the Dark Woods. “Yeah. Sure. I know that. It’s very nice, and I appreciate it quite a bit.”

“So don’t take this the wrong way.”

“Wow. Nothing good ever follows someone saying something like that. ‘Don’t take this the wrong way, but here are reasons you suck and nobody likes you and you should die a horrible death.’”

“If you want to talk about something to suck, might I suggest my penis?”

“No. No, you may not. In fact, that might be the worst suggestion I’ve ever heard.”

“Well, then. I don’t feel bad about what I’m going to say next.”

“Remember, I’m fragile, even though I don’t look like it.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way.”

“Shoring myself up emotionally.”

“But you’ve been narrating yourself in the third person for the last hour, and you have yet to come up with an excuse to not get our asses handed to us when we get back home after ditching everyone for a year. I thought that was the entire point of this. That’s what you told me. So don’t take this the wrong way—”

“Here it comes,” I whispered fervently.

“—but you are not a beacon in the dark. And you are going to get so much shit once we get back to the others, given that Verania probably wouldn’t have fallen had we stayed. And I’m going to blame you. For everything.”

I winced. “Yep, there it is. The pain. It hurts.”

“Do you know what Gary’s going to do to us?” Kevin asked with a huff.

“He’s never going to stop murdering us, that’s for damn sure. Did you know that unicorns can hold grudges for their entire lives? It’s a species trait. If you slight a unicorn, it can sit on it for decades before one day, fifty-seven years into the future, you suddenly find yourself trampled to death in what will officially be described as a workplace accident but will be outright murder. It would be marvelous if it wasn’t so terrifying. If I die under mysterious circumstances, you should look at him first.”

“Yeah,” Kevin sighed. “Isn’t he wonderful? It’s a good thing I’m planning on telling them that you forced me to come with you.”

“Hey! I did not! You came after me!”

His eyes went wide as his bottom lip trembled. “I don’t even know what happened, Gary. One moment I was asleep by your side where I belong, and then the next I’d been bewitched by the terrible wizard who made me do things to him that were not entirely consented to but I rather enjoyed anyway.”

I snorted. “Oh please. If I ever chose to do anything to you, you’d give so much consent. Like, all the consent.”

“Enthusiastically so,” Kevin agreed. “But you’ve seen what happens when Gary gets mad. He’s going to Unicorn Rage all over your face. You’re going to look like the aftermath of a gangbang at an arts and crafts store. So much rainbow and glitter.”

“If you had finished letting me tell my awesome story, you would have heard the way I was going to get us out of being in trouble.”

“You may continue.”

“Maybe I don’t want to now.”

“Yeah. You had no plan, did you.”

“Not even remotely. But I’m sure something would have come to me. But since you interrupted my narrative, we’re screwed, and neither of us will get laid.” I paused, considering. “Or rescue our loved ones and save the kingdom from the clutches of villains. Because I should have said that one first.”

“Priorities. You have them. Do you think it’s as bad as Dimitri said?”

I sighed. “I don’t know. I guess we’ll see soon enough. He tends to be all doom and gloom. That’s what happens when you’re six inches tall.”

“But….”

“But we’ve been gone for eleven months. That’s a long time.”

“Yeah,” Kevin sighed. “It probably doesn’t help that we’re—”

A shout in the woods ahead.

We both froze.

“Is it—”

“Let me,” I said.

I closed my eyes.

And pushed.

There was green. And gold. And it poured from me, much stronger than it’d ever been before. A pulse rolled through the forest as the Dark Woods responded to it, pulling it outward, rippling through the trees. It was pure and simple and came without even the barest of thoughts.

And there they were.

Seven blips that echoed back from me. Five were dark and fetid, boiling with corrupted magic. The other two were… muted, somehow. I could tell they were there, but it was like an absence of any light. A dark space in the swirling colors of the forest.

But whoever they were, there was trouble.

I opened my eyes.

Kevin’s eyes glittered darkly. He’d felt what I had. He was a conduit, after all, able to help me channel my magic, to expand it. It was a gift that had awoken in him in our time away. He magnified everything about me.

“To the sky,” I told him quietly. “Tell the others. Wait until I give the command.”

“On it.” He spread his wings and, with a muscular thrust, lifted off above the trees and into the dark clouds above.

I reached up and pulled the hood of my cloak over my head. “I bet I look so badass right now,” I muttered. “All billowing and shit. Fuck yeah. Let’s show these mothercrackers how to get their asses kicked.”

 

 

THEY WERE moving quickly through the trees, five in pursuit of the other two. Kevin’s words echoed in my head. If we saved those being pursued, chances were they’d tell others about their rescuers, and word would get out of my return before I wanted it to. I didn’t know what we were going to say when we were finally face-to-face with those we’d left behind.

I didn’t want to be covered in rage glitter and rainbows. That was going to suck balls.

I moved through the Dark Woods, surefooted and quick. The two in the lead were beginning to lag, and I didn’t have much time before the others caught up with them. I needed to make one hell of an entrance.

I found them near a cliff’s edge. The two being chased were in makeshift armor. They didn’t have helmets but instead wore fabric over their heads and faces, leaving only their eyes visible. One was larger than the other, and he had forced the smaller figure behind him in a protective gesture. He held a sword in one hand, flourishing it defiantly. It was familiar, that practiced flip, and I thought of my knight, but this couldn’t be him. There was a slight clumsiness to him that Ryan never had.

Soon, though. I’d find him soon enough. And hope that he wouldn’t be too angry with me.

But there was one I recognized.

He stood in front of the other Dark wizards, looking as calm as if he were taking an afternoon stroll. He’d been slight when I’d first seen him, hunched over and stuttering about his sickly sister who loved HaveHeart and wanted nothing more than to meet us. But as soon as we’d reached the house, the stutter had fallen away, and he began to monologue about his mother and truth corn and blah, blah, blah, only putting himself on my shit list with everything that had come after.

This was who he was now: a slithering snake. He wore a long coat, the collar flipped up around his neck like a douchebag. His dark hair was longer, pulled back into a tight ponytail, and he had a smile on his face, teeth flashing.

And what made things stranger was the Dark magic that coursed around him. He hadn’t been a wizard when I’d seen him last. Not that I’d known. It hadn’t even seemed like he’d had a propensity for magic. It looked as if Myrin had been busy.

“Well, what do we have here?” Caleb asked, cocking his head at the two at the edge of the cliff. He sounded like an asshole, and I wanted to punch his nose off his face. “And with nowhere else to run.”

I rolled my eyes at the clichéd grossness that Caleb had devolved into. I was so going to murder his entire body for being complicit in the death of Morgan of Shadows and the injuries to Ryan Foxheart.

“Revenge,” I hissed.

Caleb jerked his head in my direction.

“Fuck,” I whispered, lying low to the ground.

He couldn’t see me, but he watched the tree line for a long minute before turning back toward the people at the cliff’s edge. “Tell me. What did you hope to achieve? I’m told you infiltrated my ranks a week ago. What exactly were you looking for?”

“Kiss my ass!” the one to the rear cried. A woman. Younger, from the sound of it. “We’re not telling you anything.”

“Katya,” the other one growled. A man. “Shut your mouth and let me handle this.”

“Yes, Katya,” Caleb said, slightly mocking. “Let him handle this.”

“Let me at him!” Katya snapped, trying to get around the man. “Let’s see how smug he can be when I get my fingernails in his eyes.”

“Ooh,” I whispered. “I like her.”

Caleb laughed. “Amusing, little girl. To think you could ever touch me. You know who I am. Which means you know what I’m capable of.” He shook his head. “It’s a pity, really. You have such balls. I could have used someone like you.”

“I would never join you,” she snarled.

“No? You seem rather… firm in that decision.”

The man was struggling to hold her back and keep his sword up at the same time. “Let us go.”

“Or what?” Caleb asked, sounding curious.

“Or you’ll regret it,” the girl growled.

“And how do you figure that?”

“Katya,” the man said again. “Don’t—”

“He’ll come for us,” Katya said, defiant and angry. “I know it. Maybe not today, and maybe not tomorrow, but he will. And you’ll be sorry.”

Caleb blinked. “Him? Who are you—surely you don’t mean—” He threw his head back and laughed uproariously. The Darks at his side looked bemused, shifting on their feet like they didn’t understand what was going on.

Katya wasn’t having any of it. “Let me go, Brant! I’m going to stab him in the asshole.”

It was weird to have a straight crush on a lady. But I powered through it.

“So you’re the Resistance,” Caleb chuckled, wiping his eyes. “Oh my. Today… today is a good day.”

Resistance, I mouthed to myself. What were they resisting? The Darks? Dimitri hadn’t said anything about—

“Let me tell you something about him,” Caleb said, taking a step forward. Brant forced Katya to take an answering step back, her feet almost to the cliff’s edge. “You have placed him upon a pedestal that he does not deserve. I would know. He murdered my mother for doing nothing but wanting the truth to be shown to the world. He has abandoned you. He has left you to this life. The man you all think of as your savior is a ghost. Verania called out for help, and he turned his back on you. Not that I blame him.” Caleb shrugged. “You people shunned him. And then he left you all behind to suffer. Trust me. He’s not coming for you. No one is.”

“Sam of Wilds will come back,” Katya said defiantly. “And when he does, you’ll be sorry.”

“Holy shit,” I whispered into the grass. “She’s talking about me. I need to hug her so bad right now for at least fourteen minutes. Sweet molasses.”

When one stumbles upon people in peril accosted by repugnant villains and then hears one’s name said in reverence, one tends to get a pretty hard-core power boner. I knew that when I made my entrance, it was going to need to be epic, and I would have to have the best catchphrase the world had ever known. I wanted to make my superfans swoon.

“Sam of Wilds is no more,” Caleb said. “I tire of you both now. Whatever you’ve taken, we’ll just pick off your corpses. I’m thinking your sword will do just nicely. Jerome, would you please?”

One of the Dark wizards next to Caleb took a step forward. He raised his hands, fingers twitching, mouth moving with words I couldn’t hear. His brow furrowed a little as he muttered under his breath. I could feel the sharp ping of his magic gathering, and it was weak and sickly, but Brant’s sword still jerked from his hand, causing him to grunt in surprise. The sword flipped toward the Darks until Caleb caught it by the hilt.

“That was a gift,” Brant growled.

“Crudely made,” Caleb said, hefting its weight a little. “But strong. You have materials. Interesting. And unexpected. Your armor shows ingenuity. It certainly fooled the Darks for a little while.” He glared at Jerome.

“Um,” Jerome said, shifting from foot to foot. “Okay. I can explain.”

“Please do.”

Jerome swallowed thickly. “They… told us. That. They were Darks. Right? And that they were blacksmiths hawking their wares? And had designed the armor themselves. And that it was the latest thing in Dark fashion.”

“And you fell for it.”

“I didn’t fall for it,” Jerome said, wiping sweat from his brow.

“You put in an order for four sets,” another Dark said. “Not that you would know anything about Dark fashion, seeing as how you dress like a homeless hooker addicted to mushrooms.”

“I did not order four sets!”

“I was literally standing right there when you said it.”

Another Dark groaned. “Oh, here we go again. I thought we’d gotten over you using that word! Why do you insist upon saying it all the time.”

Godsdammit. Not these fucking assholes again. I wanted make their nipples explode.

“I literally don’t do that. In fact, I resent the implication that—”

“Maybe if you had eaten breakfast today, you could have—”

“You know how I feel about breakfast! Why do you keep trying to change me—”

“Enough,” Caleb snapped.

“Eep,” all the other Darks said.

Caleb took a step toward Brant and Katya. “I am done with this. Your time has come. I thank you for your service. Because in the end, you will be an example for the rest of the Resistance. Morgan of Shadows is gone. Randall is gone. Sam of Wilds is gone. They are nothing but memories of a Veranian past. And soon, even that will fade. I promise you.”

“He’ll stop you,” Katya said, still rebellious. “Maybe not with us, not now, but he’ll stop you. Myrin will fail. I know this. I know this because I believe in Sam of Wilds.”

My magic sang.

I gathered it around me. The greens. The golds.

It felt like coming home.

Caleb grinned. “Let him come. We’ll be waiting.”

He raised the sword.

Brant turned and pulled Katya against him, shielding her. “Close your eyes,” I heard him murmur as my blood began to hum just underneath my skin. “We’ll cross the veil together. It’ll be okay. Just close your eyes.”

She trembled.

It was about that time that I’d had enough.

Because fuck Caleb right in his fat fucking mouth.

I stood up.

And said, “Looks like we’ve got ourselves a real pretty pickle of a situation here, don’t we?”

Everyone turned to me.

“Godsdammit,” I groaned, knowing the hood hid my face. “Okay, look. Can I try that again? I don’t know why I said pickle out of all things. Like, I’ve been sitting here almost this whole time, and I could have come up with something different. Because pickles are disgusting—which is strange, because I like cucumbers. Like, why is that a thing? Regardless, I don’t know why I used it like that. Pretty pickle, even. I’m a little rusty at the whole talking to other people thing, so you’ll have to forgive me.”

Everyone stared at me.

“All right,” I said. “Let’s try that again. Okay, so, you fucktard villains were all like, argh, I’m gonna monologue and say stupid things about stuff, and then Katya and Brant were all like, Sam of Wilds will come save us because he’s so cool and handsome and everyone thinks so and I like his hair and his face and the way he waltzes.”

“I didn’t say that,” Katya said. “Any of that, really.”

“Um, pretty sure that’s what you were implying. And I mean, it’s true, obviously. Sam of Wilds is cool and handsome and has a great face and hair and does a mean waltz. Also, he is a very generous lover.”

“I wouldn’t know anything about that,” Katya said. “I don’t know that I’d want to know that. He’s a little… I don’t know. Skinny? For my tastes. I like them thicker.”

“You like them what?” Brant asked, sounding outraged. “You are sixteen years old. You are not allowed to like anyone.”

Katya rolled her eyes. “Oh gee, you’re right. I don’t know why I thought otherwise. I’m so glad I have my big brother here to point out that I am incapable of having my own thoughts. Whatever would I do without you.”

“Holy fucking sass master,” I breathed.

“What?” Caleb said, frowning.

I coughed. “Uh. Nothing. Nothing. Okay. So, we’re doing this again. Villains, blah, blah, blah, Katya and Brant, Sam of Wilds is amazing and wonderful and has super cool knuckles—”

“Literally none of that happened,” one of the Darks said.

“It’s like you’re doing it on purpose,” another Dark muttered.

“—and here we are now, with Caleb holding his sword up, getting ready to hack innocent people to death and—Caleb? Can you… can you hold the sword up again? You’re not doing it right, and it’s really annoying.”

“Who are you?” Caleb asked, eyes narrowed.

“Your worst nightmare,” I said. “Which! Is not the line I want to use, so hold up the godsdamn sword.”

He raised the sword above Brant and Katya.

“Epic!” I said, popping my neck and wiggling the stress from my shoulders. “Now we’re talking. Okay, Katya, I need you to say what you said again. About the whole believing in Sam of Wilds thing.”

She frowned at me. “Um. Okay? I believe in Sam of Wilds.”

“Wow. You didn’t sound like you meant that at all.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“You need to sell it. Pretend your life is in mortal peril here!”

“It is,” Caleb said. “I’m about to stab them.”

“Right. Katya, come on! You’re about to get stabbed.”

“What the hell is this?” Brant asked.

“Oh no!” Katya said, sounding like the world’s most terrible actress. “My life is in mortal peril because of the stabbing. I believe in Sam of Wilds!”

“Better,” I said. “I’ll have some notes on your performance, but we can talk about that later. But as a teaser, you came off wooden and unbelievable, and I wouldn’t cast you in any play I’d put on for a summer theater. Caleb, your final threat?”

“I am going to… kill? Them?”

I squared my shoulders as a gust of wind blew over me, causing my cloak to billow around me. “Oh my fucking gods,” I whispered. “I look so cool. C’mon, Sam. Dazzle them with an awesome catchphrase.” I cleared my throat and raised my voice. “Well now, what do we have here? It seems as if we’re in a pretty pickle of a—godsdammit!”

“Enough,” Caleb snarled. And he heaved the sword down toward Brant and Katya.

One moment I was standing near the tree line, and the next I was crouched in front of Brant and Katya, forearm raised, the sword smashing into it with a loud thock! I gritted my teeth against the vibrations down my arm.

The Darks took a step back in unison.

Caleb stared down at me with wide eyes.

I grinned at him, even though he couldn’t see it. “Hey. Hi. How are you? Gauntlet, wouldn’t you know. Made of dragon scales. A gift.”

“How did you—”

“Get here in front of you in the blink of an eye? Here’s a hint: magic.”

He nodded, drawing the sword away, squaring his shoulders. “You’re going to regret the intrusion. Whoever you are.”

I stood up slowly. “I haven’t decided yet.”

He squinted at me. “Decided what?”

“If you’re gonna walk away from this. Oooh. Holy shit. I just gave myself chills.” I glanced back at Brant and Katya. “Did you guys get chills? Because I did.”

They both shook their heads, then seem to change their minds before nodding.

I frowned. “Well, this is awkward.”

“Get him,” Caleb snarled.

The Darks raised their hands, and their magic began to gather, wild and untamed. Lightning crackled from the Darks I’d met long ago on the road, crawling along their fingertips, and I almost laughed at them.

Instead I said, “Flora Bora Slam, mothercrackers.” I barely had to push.

There was a sharp crack before a hush fell over the cliffside.

“Huh,” I said. “That was easier than I thought it would be. I’m so good at this.”

Caleb turned slowly to look behind him.

Four stone statues stood there, hands raised, fingers spread wide.

“Can’t argue with the classics,” I told him. “So, wanna surrender, or should we do this the fun way?”

The sword fell from his hand, sticking upright in the soft earth. “You’re good,” he said quietly. “But unfortunately for you, I’m better. I will deal with you myself.”

“The fun way, then. I’m down with—”

He moved then, almost quicker than I could follow, hands coming up, twitching dangerously. There was a rush of a magic, a sick and infected yellow, knocking into my chest and trying to wrap around my heart. I was lifted off my feet and flew up and over Caleb and the stone Darks, then landed on my back on the other side of them. Katya cried out near the cliff, but I didn’t have time to focus on them. Caleb was stronger than I expected him to be. I underestimated him.

I wouldn’t make that mistake again.

I tilted my head back in time to see the statues of the Darks begin to break apart under Caleb’s magic. It shouldn’t have surprised me as much as it did that he was sacrificing his own men. I’d heard the stories, of course, from Dimitri, about how the Darks had descended upon Verania, but nothing they had done so far had matched this level of brutality. I had never been turned to stone before, so I didn’t know what it felt like. I almost hoped the stone Darks weren’t aware of being broken apart.

I pushed myself up off the ground as the last bits of the statues broke apart and spun lazily around Caleb.

“Okay, I can admit, that looks pretty cool,” I said. “It’s kinda hard-core for my tastes, though. I mean, those are chunks of people, dude. I could have totally turned them back.”

Caleb’s eyes narrowed. “Do I know you from somewhere? You sound familiar.”

“We’ll get to that in just a moment. First, I need to—oh, that was a distraction.”

Caleb was moving even before I finished speaking. I didn’t have time to think, much less come up with a counterspell. The stones slammed into me, starting with my feet and legs, wrapping themselves around me, fusing in place. They rose up my legs, past my knees to my thighs and hips. They hit my hands and arms, my stomach and chest, and my heart beat thunderously as the stones rose to my shoulders and neck.

“No,” Katya whispered behind him. Then, “Stop it! Leave him alone!” Brant held her back as she tried to rush Caleb.

“Any last words before you suffocate to death buried in rock?” Caleb asked me, a twisted smile on his face.

“Yeah,” I said, submerging myself in gold and green. “You shouldn’t have betrayed me.”

The skin under Caleb’s eyes twitched.

And then I detonated.

The lightning burst out of my heart, crawling along the treelike scars on my skin until I was completely electrified. The rock around me begin to split and crack until it shattered into so much dust and filtered to the forest floor. I took a step forward.

Caleb came after me. I had to hand it to him—his tenacity was truly impressive, especially in the face of such long odds.

But I’d spent nearly a year in this forest, deep in the wild. I knew its secrets, the way the trees whispered in the wind, their leaves and limbs rattling together like bones. I knew the ground beneath my feet and the canopy above.

I was part of the Dark Woods now.

I felt Caleb’s infection hurtle toward me. It was time for a demonstration.

He got maybe three or four steps before I raised my own hands in response.

He barely faltered.

That was fine.

He would see what I was capable of.

A branch from a large oak tree whipped down and wrapped around his left arm, jerking him to a halt.

His mouth dropped open.

Vines burst through the ground beneath his feet, wrapping around his legs, forcing him to his knees.

Another tree limb—maple, this time—snaked around his other arm, holding him in place.

It was over in seconds.

I barely had to move.

I breathed with the forest.

Caleb struggled against his bindings, glaring up at me. “That level of magic isn’t possible,” he snapped. “We would know if something like this existed. How are you doing this? Where do you come from? Who are you?”

Oh my gods. This was going to be so rad. I had to get it just right.

I took a step toward him. “All interesting questions. I can do this because of what my mentors have taught me, all three of them. I come from the Dark Woods to bring an end to you and yours. And as for who I am, well. That’s the best thing of all.” I reached up and slid the hood from my head. The exact second he recognized me was probably one of the top three moments of my life. I grinned rakishly at him. “I’m Sam of Dragons.”

And, just like we’d practiced, the dragons of Verania arrived.

First, a serpentine red creature burst through the clouds, landed behind Katya and Brant, and coiled his body underneath him, wings flapping furiously at his sides. “Rawr,” Zero Ravyn Moonfire said. “Which is so freaking lame. I didn’t even want to do this. I was in the middle of writing a poem lamenting my black soul, which no one understands.”

Godsdammit.

Two blue-and-white dragons came next, landing on either side of Katya and Brant, the ground shaking beneath us. Their feathers rattled as they stretched their wings, eyes flashing. “Oh dear,” Leslie said. “Zero, you know I told you that I would help you with your poetry.”

“You wanted to write about bunnies.”

“I do love them,” Leslie agreed. “Also, bunny rhymes with funny and sunny and honey, all the things sweet and lovely and—”

“You can’t write about the lamentations of my soul with sweet and lovely!”

“And I told you that poetry was not a sustainable skill,” Pat growled. “You need to do something that actually contributes to society. Like woodworking.”

“You old dyke,” Leslie said, sounding unbearably fond.

Godsdammit.

“Ta-daaaaaaaaaaaaa!” Kevin shouted as he landed behind Caleb. “’Tis I! The Beast from the East. Lord Dragon of the Dark Woods. I have returned to rule over my subjects so that they may cover me in their golden showers.”

“That’s so gross,” Zero moaned. “Why do you say things like that? Adults are the worst.”

“I meant their shinies and pretties, little bro! Not their urine. I am not into piss play. Sam! Sam. Tell my little brother I don’t like being urinated on. Well, not that I’ve actually tried it, so I can’t say for sure. Never mind, Sam. Don’t tell him anything yet. I must further explore my kinks before I can say one way or another.”

Godsdammit.

And then he came, like a moon crashing into the earth. He dwarfed everything else.

“GW,” I said.

“I told you never to call me that,” the Great White rumbled, trees crashing down as he landed upon them. “It’s demeaning, and I will not stand for it.”

“I will not stand for it,” I mocked under my breath.

Caleb’s eyes bulged.

“You guys all suck,” I told the dragons of Verania. “We practiced this entrance. For weeks. The least you could do is all roar in unison so we can salvage this atrocity.”

“Meow,” Leslie said, lips twitching.

“I hate you guys so fucking much.”

“Hey!” Kevin said. “What about me?”

“Don’t even get me started on—”

“Dragons,” GW growled. “Roar.”

Kevin’s eyes shifted black. Leslie’s and Pat’s turned blue. Zero’s burned red. GW’s went opaque.

And I felt each of them pulsing in my head.

They roared then.

“Yessss,” I hissed. “This. Is. Awesome.”

As the sound echoed through the forest, I crouched down in front of Caleb. “I’ve dreamed of this moment for almost a year,” I told him quietly. “For the part you played. You. Me. Face-to-face. I could use Brant’s sword. Push it through your chest. Make you feel every inch of it. And maybe I will. Someday. But first I need you to deliver a message. Can you do that?”

He nodded slowly.

“Good. Here it is: I have returned. And I will take Verania back for its people. You tell Myrin… you tell him that I will come for him. That I will come for all of you. I have accepted my destiny, much like he has accepted his. These paths we’re on—even if they were set in stone, he would do well to remember that stone crumbles. He has taken from me. And I aim to take everything from him. Now go. Before I change my mind.”

I arched an eyebrow, and the tree limbs and roots unfurled from his body. He scrambled to his feet, taking a step back, bumping into Kevin’s leg. Kevin craned his neck down until he was face-to-face with Caleb, spikes on the back of his neck rattling. “Are you sure I can’t eat him?” Kevin growled. “Like mother, like son.”

Caleb’s face paled.

“Wow,” I breathed. “That was hard-core. I approve. Of what you said, not the eating thing.”

“But someday?”

“Possibly. Maybe I’ll help too.”

“Ooh, cannibalism. I can dig it. You hear that, traitor? My boy is gonna eat your toes.”

Caleb took off running into the woods.

“That went well,” I announced as soon as his footsteps had fallen away. “I do have some notes, as I indicated previously. Dragons, you all suck. It’s like you remembered absolutely nothing about what we practiced. I’m embarrassed by all of you. I’m giving every consideration to firing all of you.”

They all began to protest immediately. Well, all except for GW. He looked like he wished we had all never existed.

“Yeah, yeah,” I said, waving their complaints away. “Maybe if you had learned your lines. And Katya!” I turned toward the people standing behind me. Both had removed their masks, and I could see the resemblance now. They had fiery red hair, Brant’s cut short and Katya’s pulled back into a loose ponytail. Their faces were an explosion of endearing freckles. And both were extraordinarily pale, eyes wide, as if they’d seen a ghost. Which was ridiculous, of course, because ghosts didn’t exist. “Have you ever thought about being an actress?”

She shook her head slowly.

“Good. Because you were terrible. My gods, woman. Your calling isn’t in the theater, let me tell—oomph!”

She launched herself at me, wrapping her arms tightly around my neck, her makeshift armor digging into my chest.

“Oh man,” I breathed. “I love hugging. Lady-dude, you are on my epic list. Aside from the acting thing.”

And so I hugged her back, because that was what one did.

“You’re here,” she whispered, voice trembling. “You’re real, and you’re here.”

“This is true,” I agreed, absurdly touched by this girl I’d never met. It was strange, hugging another person again after so long. Dragons weren’t as cuddly as one might think, no matter how much Kevin tried. “I’m real.”

She pulled back carefully, searching my face. “They’re not going to believe this back at Camp HaveHeart.”

“I’m sure they won’t—wait. Back at where?”

Her smile was wide and beautiful. “The base camp. For the Resistance, led by Knight Commander Ryan Foxheart, Grand Prince Justin of Verania, and their second-in-command, Lady Tina DeSilva of the Foxy Lady Brigade.”

I was pretty sure my brain broke.