Chapter 12: Nuns Who Commit Armed Robbery Are the Best Kind of Nuns

 

 

—LANDED IN a pile of limbs and dirt outside the gates of Camp HaveHeart.

“Motherfucker,” I groaned. “Someone has their foot pressed way too far up my anus, and I am not that kind of man.”

“That’s a total lie,” someone mumbled. I thought it was Justin, and I would have been offended had there not been a little truth to it. Long story.

Shouts started going up inside Camp HaveHeart, but I ignored them in favor of trying to disentangle myself from the wannabe orgy. I started to push myself up but was pulled back down by a rather obstinate knight who didn’t seem willing to let me go.

“I’m okay,” I told him, even though I didn’t know if that was true.

“You’re an idiot,” he whispered, lips pressed against my forehead. “You don’t get to scare me like that. What the hell were you thinking?”

“Honestly? I don’t know if I was.”

“Fool.”

“Probably. But what can you do?”

“You can get off of me,” a voice said from beneath him.

Ryan looked suddenly fearful. “I think I’m lying on top of Randall.”

“You are,” Randall said. “And while this is not the first time that I’ve been on the bottom, my hips don’t move like they used to, and I’d appreciate it if you would get the hell off of me. I haven’t had this much flesh atop me since my days spent with the Luftian quadruplets. They were of a rather garrulous sort, feeling the need to narrate every single little thing they were doing to me—”

“Whyyyyy,” I moaned, even as Ryan shoved me off him with a choked-off scream that I was sure he’d later deny making. “Why must you say these things?”

There was a flap of great wings before the ground rumbled beneath us. A gigantic head peered down at us, dark eyes glittering. “Well now, what do we have here?” Kevin asked, a lecherous grin on his face. “And why was I not invited? Also, as a sidenote, Randall doesn’t appear to be wearing underpants.”

“Ack!” I cried, trying to roll as far away from him as I could. “Why! Why would you do that!”

“I’m old,” Randall muttered. “I’m allowed to do whatever I wish, even if that means not wearing underpants. They are restricting.”

“I’m not a size queen, but hello Randall.”

“Kevin! Not the time!”

“It’s never the time.”

“Yes, but now is so not the time.”

“Oh, well. When you put it that way. Oh look! The King! Hullo, King.”

“Kevin,” the King said, accepting the dragon’s assistance in rising to his feet. “How lovely it is to see your face again.”

“It’s a good face, if I do say so myself.”

“One of the best,” the King agreed. “Now, if we could—”

But whatever else he planned to say was drowned out by cries of joy that poured through the gates as they opened. The people of Camp HaveHeart had seen their King standing before them in one piece, and their emotions overflowed. Almost immediately we were surrounded, people shouting and crying and laughing, reaching in and trying to touch the King’s hands and arms and chest. He took it all with a smile, greeting as many of them as possible, shaking hands and kissing cheeks. Lady Tina, Ryan, and Justin stood at his side, the former two with their weapons drawn and the latter seemingly unwilling to leave his father’s side. I didn’t blame him. I was having a hard time not rushing over to him myself.

But before I could even think of pushing through the crowd, there was a loud, unearthly shriek from behind me, and I was gathered up in large arms and held against a considerable chest as a unicorn wailed against my neck, telling me in no uncertain terms that I was not allowed to leave them again, that if I even attempted it, my intestines would be pulled from my body, wrapped around a tree, and I would be forced to walk away from said tree at a slow pace while my guts were pulled from my body.

“So graphic,” I managed to say as Tiggy squeezed me even tighter.

“You’re damn right it’s graphic,” Gary cried. “Do you know how much stress you cause me? I swear to the gods, Sam, that if I get a gray hair because of you, I am going to castrate you and feed your testicles to homeless children. Do you understand me?”

“Whoa,” I said. “That was… okay. That might have been a little much.”

Gary’s eyes dried instantly. “You know, as soon as I said it, I wondered if I’d gone too far. I suppose there are ways to get my point across without threatening to feed your cut-off penis to poor little orphans. I mean, the castrating thing still holds, but maybe next time I can say I’ll feed it to adult homeless orphans.”

I patted his nose. “I missed you too.”

Tiggy kissed the top of my head. “All right?”

“Yeah,” I sighed. “Except for the whole having to whore myself out to a group of ruffians, coming face-to-face with the traitor who stabbed my boo, and then getting sucked through Randall’s magic hole after a supervillain was about to monologue.”

“So, a normal Tuesday, then,” Gary said.

“It’s only Tuesday? Ugh. Worst. Week. Ever.”

“What are you talking about?” Kevin asked as he made his way over. “Is it me? If so, you may continue. Especially if it’s nice. I do like it when people say nice things about me.”

But before we could assure him that we were most certainly not talking about him, I was jerked down from Tiggy’s arms and into my parents’, and it felt almost as good as it had when I’d stumbled out of the Dark Woods and found my way home.

 

 

THE KING was whisked away almost immediately after I’d changed the rescue party back to normal (even Lady Tina), taken to Justin’s tent so that he could be fed and cleaned up while Justin filled him in on what he’d missed. Ryan looked conflicted, glancing between the two of us, but I waved him off, knowing that for the moment, his oath to the King came first. He kissed me on the cheek, then promised to bathe and find me later so we could try to get some sleep.

Lady Tina met with the Foxy Lady Brigade, barking orders that the defenses around the camp needed to be triple-checked in case of a retaliation from the Dark wizards. I didn’t have the strength to tell them that I believed Myrin wouldn’t do a thing, at least not for the moment. He wasn’t one to lash out in anger, not when there were so many unknown variables.

Gary and Tiggy demanded I immediately recount the tale of our adventure, seeing as they’d been left behind. Kevin had known bits and pieces, as he was connected to me in ways the others were not, but I filled in the blanks as best I could. By the time I got to the part about Ruv, a large crowd had gathered around us, all hushed and wan, but it was an outlier who’d caught my eye, someone standing at the edge of the crowd.

I met Vadoma’s gaze as I spoke of Ruv, and for once, she was the first to look away.

I didn’t know how I felt about that.

Terry stood awkwardly off to the side, pretending not to listen, even though I knew he was. I was about to beg off and let Gary, Tiggy, and Kevin lead me home when a gnarled hand fell on my shoulder, the grip strong and unyielding.

“I need to have a word with Sam,” Randall said ominously.

“Hi, Randall,” Gary said. “Nice to see you, Randall. Thanks for the postcard you sent, Randall.” He sniffed loudly, nostrils flaring. He looked disappointed, but covered it quickly. I didn’t know what Randall had planned, but I wasn’t going to let him keep Gary’s horn a secret for long.

“He sent postcard?” Tiggy asked.

“No, kitten. He didn’t. That was me being facetious, seeing as how he disappeared without a trace, much like our bitch here.”

Tiggy grinned at me. “You my bitch.”

“I know,” I said tiredly, hoping against hope that Randall would suddenly forget who and where he was so that I could slip away and avoid whatever conversation was coming my way. I didn’t expect it to be anything good.

“Are you going to murder him?” Gary asked Randall.

“Not today,” Randall said.

“Good.” And then, “It’s really good to see you again.”

And wonder of all wonders, Randall smiled. Or he might have had gas. I couldn’t be sure. “Thank you, Gary. Tiggy. I am glad to see you both well. And Gary, we’ll talk later. I promise.”

“About—”

“Yes. About.”

“Hmm. I’ll allow it. And now that that’s out of the way, Tiggy, Kevin. Let’s go see if we can get the King to promise a reward from the treasury once it’s returned to him for our unparalleled valor. I expect to be rewarded handsomely, given that I am the bravest unicorn in all the land. Did you hear that, Terry? The bravest unicorn in all the land.”

They left us, Terry bringing up the rear, muttering what I assumed were threats upon Gary’s person under his breath.

“Any chance we can postpone this?” I asked hopefully. “Like say maybe sometime next year? Or possibly never?”

“Sure.”

“Really?”

“No.”

“Godsdammit. I’ll have you know that we are wasting valuable time when I could be macking on my man, seeing as how we haven’t really gotten any alone time since I came back.”

“My heart weeps for you.”

I highly doubted that. For starters, he’d have to have a heart.

 

 

HE SAID, “The Grimoires. You have them?”

I hesitated, but that in itself was all the answer he needed.

“Bring them, if you please.”

I didn’t argue. There wouldn’t have been a point.

They were in the pack where I’d left them, sitting on the floor of the room Ryan had occupied in my absence. The bed was unmade, the blankets tossed about, and I wanted nothing more than to crawl onto it and sleep away the hours. I was exhausted, but Randall was waiting, and I knew I couldn’t avoid whatever was coming. I had a pretty good idea what the conversation was going to be about, and I wasn’t looking forward to it.

I changed out of the robes and washed up before throwing on a pair of trousers that hung loose at the waist. They were Ryan’s, but they made me feel better. I slung the pack over my shoulder and walked barefoot down the hall to where Randall sat in front of the fireplace, the flames crackling. A chair obviously meant for me sat opposite him. I felt like I was a kid again, and I was in trouble with my parents.

“Have a seat,” he said without looking away from the fire.

I glanced longingly at the door but did as he asked. I set the pack at my feet and kept my mouth shut, refusing to speak first, even though I had so many questions.

He didn’t wait long. “I’m surprised.”

“About?”

“That you didn’t tell Gary I had his horn.”

Oh shit. “I forgot.”

“Did you.”

“A lot happened. But….”

“But?”

“Shouldn’t he have been able to sense it? I would have thought he’d know immediately. I felt it at Castle Lockes.” I frowned. “And apparently so did Myrin. That’s what he meant, right? Pure. Bright.”

Randall nodded. “An unfortunate mistake. And yes, Gary would know. Except the magic is… muffled at the moment.”

“What? Muffled. How is it… that wiry mesh you had on it.” I remembered how he’d covered the horn in his pack. “What is it?”

He sighed. “Just one of many, many things that can contain magic. It’s old. A shroud made by a long-extinct race of creatures that walked the earth before man. It was how Gary’s horn could have stayed hidden for so long.”

“Who had it? And where?”

“Does it matter?”

I was annoyed at that. It felt like he was playing a game. “Of course it does. It didn’t belong to them.”

“And what would you have done had you found it instead of me?”

“I would have taken it back.”

“As I have done. What else?”

I scowled at him. “What are you asking?”

He looked relaxed, fingers steepled in front of him as if he had all the time in the world. “Simply what I asked. If you came upon the person who had in their possession Gary’s horn, what would you have done?”

“I would have asked for it back.”

“And if they refused?”

“I would have taken it.”

“By force.”

“If necessary.”

“And if they fought you for it, what then?”

“I would have stopped them.”

“How?”

“By any means necessary.”

“Why?”

“Because they had something that didn’t belong to them. Look. I get what you’re doing.”

“Do you?”

“Yes. You knew me as Sam of Wilds. Who I was. You’re trying to see who I am now as Sam of Dragons. What kind of wizard I’ve become. What I’m willing to do for those I love.”

“And what are you willing to do for those you love?”

I looked him in the eye. “Everything.”

He nodded slowly as if he’d been expecting that answer. “Sam of Dragons.”

I rolled my eyes. “Trust me, it wasn’t my choice. GW kind of forced it upon me.”

“GW? Who—ah. I see. It’s fitting, I think.”

“You only like it because it used to be yours.”

He smiled a little at that. “Why, I would never.”

“Lie.”

“Maybe a little. It’s like you were named after me.”

“Ugh,” I groaned. “I wanted to be Sam the Awesomely Amazing or Sam the Best Wizard Ever, but GW said they were stupid and that I would be Sam of Dragons, or he would eat me.”

“Did he now.”

“Yes. He’s an asshole. He kind of reminds me of you. No wonder he was your mentor.”

“Also yours.”

“Godsdammit.”

“It was in a country to the north,” he said. “Outside of the borders of Verania. Beyond the mountains and into the land of the giants.”

Despite the gravity of the situation, despite my tiredness, I felt that old prickle of excitement course through me. “You went to the giants? Oh my gods, tell me everything. How big are they? Do they eat human flesh? Are they brutish or civilized?”

“Maybe one day you’ll find out.”

I glared at him. “Dude, not cool. You can’t just say you went to the giants and then not tell me anything about them. That’s rude.”

“Does it matter in the long run?”

“Well… no. But still. Wait. They had Gary’s horn?”

He shook his head. “No. But they pointed the way.”

“Gods,” I whispered. “What matter of villain was able to abscond from Verania with Gary’s horn? I mean, to think of how evil they must have been, how dastardly and nefarious—”

“They were nuns.”

“—and capable of ripping the flesh from the bones of puppies and stuffing it down their gullets to—what.”

“Nuns,” he repeated.

I waited for the punch line.

There didn’t seem to be one.

“Nuns.”

He nodded.

“Are you… being serious?”

“Very. A group of traveling nuns had somehow stumbled upon Gary’s horn and thought it to be a tool from the gods. They kept it covered in the shroud except for moments when it was uncovered and worshipped.”

“Oh no,” I moaned, putting my face in my hands. “We can’t tell him that. I already have one magical creature with a god complex. I don’t need another. No. Absolutely not. In fact, you tell him you found it in a cave and that it was unguarded and that it was super easy to get, and that will be that.”

“What about the part where, aside from worship, the nuns used it as a weapon while they toured the countryside, robbing everyone in sight?”

I peeked through my fingers. “Say what.”

“Apparently these nuns weren’t exactly the pious sort, and funded their travels by committing armed robbery.”

I sighed. “Because of course. You can never tell him. My gods, do you know what that’d do to his ego?”

“He’d become insufferable, I’m sure. Even more so than he already is.”

“Yeah, he’s wonderful like that.” I dropped my hands back into my lap and slumped into the chair. “How’d you get the horn back?”

He shrugged. “I dressed as a nun, infiltrated their ranks, gained their trust over a period of four months, and then, once I was appointed as one of the Guardians of the Horn, I stole it from them.” He frowned. “That didn’t go quite as I had planned. As it turns out, a nun named Marsha, who I had developed a close friendship with, discovered my betrayal and attempted to stab me with a pitchfork while alerting the other sisters. I learned rather quickly that hell hath no fury like a thieving nun scorned. They pursued me for quite some time, though I was eventually able to give them the slip when I entered the land of the giants again. As it turns out, the giants consider nuns to be their most dangerous of enemies, and an all-out brawl ensued, which provided me with an opportunity to slip back into Verania.”

I gaped at him.

He smiled at me, his liver lips stretched thin.

“Sweet molasses,” I said faintly. “I don’t know what to do with any of that.”

“Nor would I expect you to.”

“Why didn’t you just get sucked through your magic hole?”

He shrugged. “Now, where would the fun in that be? Just because I can do certain types of magic doesn’t always mean I will. Magic can’t be the answer to everything, Sam.”

“You’re telling me that you’ve been gone all this time because you were undercover? With nuns?”

“Not the whole time,” he said. “Just most of the time.”

“You can never call me out for my shit again. Ever. What the hell, Randall.”

“I highly doubt that’s going to happen. You do stupid things that need to be pointed out.”

“Pot. Kettle.”

“Well, I suppose that makes sense. You are named after me now, after all.”

“Nope. Nope, nope, nope. That’s it. From this day forward, I am now Sam the Awesomely Amazing, and no one can say otherwise. You are appalling, and I absolutely refuse to be named after you, oh my gods. And if you ever call me your child again, I’m going to turn your fucking tongue into a dick, and you will choke on it.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time I’ve choked—”

“No. You stop. Why are you like this? Who hurt you? Oh. Right. Myrin. Oops. Okay, I’ll allow it. For the next five minutes. After that, it’s over, and you are not allowed to be gross for the rest of your life. And if you are, we are in agreement that I can punch you in the throat to make you stop. It’s only fair.”

“Yes,” he said. “Myrin. Thank you for the segue.”

“That wasn’t a segue—”

And then he said, “Morgan knew something was off that day. He couldn’t put his finger on it, but he was agitated. Antsy in way I hadn’t seen in a very long time. Somehow, he knew.”

I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to know any of this.

“When he was younger, he was like you in that regard. Always moving. His mind. His body. Everything was at a pace that was hard for others to fathom. He had ideas that he’d focus on one minute, and then throw them out the next for something entirely different. Spells. Constructs. Incantations. Outlines for magic far beyond his abilities. His parents didn’t know what to do with him. He didn’t fit the mold for what a wizard should be. Not like I did. I took my studies seriously, to the point where I could go for decades on a singular idea that I would allow to consume me.”

“And Myrin?” I asked quietly.

Randall laughed quietly. “Myrin didn’t care much for magic.”

“What?”

“He was the bane of his parents’ existence. Really, the both of them were, but at least when Morgan came along, he was making the required attempts, even if he was all over the place. Myrin didn’t—he thought that magic was too easy. That for those it came naturally to, it made them superior. He didn’t like the thought of being better than anyone else. Their parents were… well. They had disdain for non-magic-users. And even though they publicly spoke out against the Darks, they had a certain amount of respect for them. Because they still had magic when most others didn’t. Myrin was their great disappointment. And he knew it.”

“What changed?”

Randall looked down at his hands. “He met me.”

The fire snapped and popped.

And even though we were talking about the darkest wizard of all, my inner romantic couldn’t help but ask, “Was it love at first sight?”

Randall laughed. “Oh gods, no. I despised the very sight of him. He thought the same of me.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I know. And maybe you won’t ever. I hated him until I didn’t. I don’t know if I could ever pinpoint the one moment when I realized my feelings toward him had changed, but I do remember looking at him one day and thinking how handsome he was. How wonderful his smile could be. How mischievous. And as it turned out, he’d been trying to impress me for far longer than I knew.”

“The Great White didn’t like that very much, did he. Being your mentor and all.”

“No, I don’t suppose he did. Things were different then, Sam. Wizards were more commonplace. Not just the Darks, though they’ve never had a problem thriving. After everything changed, after Myrin fell into shadow, the Darks splintered into the forest, and those that walked the path of light chose instead to just… walk away, beyond the borders of Verania. In the end, there were only a few of us left.

“But before that, it was good. I had the man I was convinced would be my cornerstone, though I had already passed the Trials on my own. And I had Morgan. The Great White was gone, but I was convinced I’d made the right choice.”

He looked back up at me, a somber expression on his face. “Morgan had such potential. Even though I thought him brash and foolish, I could see the strength in him. Myrin could too, and though I thought there was some jealousy there, it wasn’t enough to come between them. Morgan loved his brother more than anything else in this world. He worshipped the ground Myrin walked on. It almost destroyed him when—” He sighed wearily. “It almost destroyed the both of us.”

“You went Dark.”

He nodded. “After we banished Myrin to the realm of shadows and after I brought the King of Sorrows back from madness, I felt it. In my head. And in my heart. It started out small and quiet and went on for years. It was a seduction, always there and whispering to me. All I had to do was give in to it and all my wounds would be healed. All my grief would just… fade away. And I would like to tell you I fought it valiantly. That I resisted and was almost able to escape it, and that in the end, it proved to be too strong. But that would be a lie. It was shocking, Sam, just how easy it was to give in, to bend to its whims. I locked myself in Castle Freesias and just… let it consume me.”

A twisted thrill raced along my skin, and I fidgeted in my seat.

“It was without order,” Randall said, voice flat. “Without reason. It was chaos, but there was such a beauty in it that I wondered why I hadn’t considered it before. Why I had looked down on the Darks as I had, given how free I felt. I was without a cornerstone, though I had never needed one. Cornerstones die, Sam. One day they die, and you are left alone. I knew this. And I still wasn’t prepared for it. Maybe my circumstances were different, maybe fighting Myrin as I had compounded my situation, but I don’t know if I can use that as an excuse. I was angry. And in mourning. And raging against everyone and everything. And it was easy. To give in.”

“How did you come back?”

“Just because I’d given up on myself doesn’t mean that others had given up on me,” Randall said. “You’ve seen them before, yes? The addicts. In the hospitals. In the streets of Meridian City.”

I nodded.

“It was like that, I think. An addiction. And I needed to be detoxified.”

“Morgan.”

“Morgan,” Randall agreed. “And at great cost to his life. I could have killed him. I almost did. He never gave up on me, even when I’d given up on myself.”

“And the Great White? Why didn’t he—”

Randall snorted. “He didn’t need words to make his disdain for my relationship with Myrin known. I understood that I had a choice. I could continue my education with him, or I could choose Myrin. I made my choice. I haven’t seen the Great White since. And I can’t say that I wouldn’t make the same decision if I had to do it all over again. For all that I’ve lost, for all that Myrin has done, I did love him once. And he loved me. Maybe I could have done more to save him, but—I don’t know that it matters. Not anymore.” He smiled sadly. “That’s the price to pay for living such a long life, Sam. You have time to dwell on all your mistakes.”

“Can you see why I don’t want it?”

“I can,” he said, not unkindly. “But I don’t know if you have a choice.”

And I hesitated.

“There,” Randall said with a frown. “That. What was that?”

“I….”

He watched me with a thoughtful look on his face. “What happened to you? In the Dark Woods. You’re not who you once were.”

“Are any of us?”

“Deflection.”

I rolled my eyes. “So maybe some things are the same.”

“I can feel it, you know. Your magic. Even when you were young, it was expansive. More so than I’d ever seen before or since with any magical being.”

“And now?”

“Now it seems almost limitless.”

I didn’t like the sound of that, even though I thought it could be true. “I can’t do the things you can.”

“No, I don’t expect you can. But then I am far older than you. Give it time.”

I was annoyed at that. “We don’t have time. Myrin’s—”

“Myrin can wait. For now. Sam. The woods. What—”

“I don’t—”

“You do,” he snapped. “Don’t play coy with me, boy. It’s not a good look on you, and I’m not the fool you seem to take me for. The Grimoires.”

I slumped in the chair. “Man, I thought we were done being serious and morose. Then, once I was feeling sufficiently good about myself, I was going to go have sex with my boyfriend, maybe eat some cheese, and then go to sleep.”

“There are more important things than postsex cheese.”

“That’s certainly not true.”

“You have them? Morgan’s. Myrin’s. Your own.”

I nodded.

“Did you open them?”

“Only mine when GW had me work on it.”

“He hates it, doesn’t he.”

I grinned. “So much.”

Randall looked like he was fighting a smile. Or having a small stroke. “Why?”

“What?”

“Why didn’t you open the other two?”

I decided to be as honest as possible. “It hurt too much.”

“Morgan’s.”

“Yeah.”

“And Myrin’s?”

“Too angry.”

“I don’t blame you for that.”

“You don’t?”

“No.”

“Oh. Well. Thanks. I guess.”

“But you’re going to have to.”

I sat up straight in the chair, my skin clammy. “Why?”

“Because you need to see. The past. The future.”

“That’s… vaguely ominous. No thank you.”

“That wasn’t a request, Sam.”

“We could pretend it was. You used the word ask, after all.”

“Sam.”

I stared at him.

He was infuriatingly calm.

I sighed and picked up the pack from beside my chair. I set it in my lap and just… left it there. There was something I needed to say before we did whatever we were about to do. I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like it either way, so the longer I could put it off, the better.

“The Trials.”

He blinked. “What about them? They’re irrelevant to you now, I would think.”

“I know. But if you think I should still go through them, I will.”

“You don’t need to prove yourself to me.”

I arched an eyebrow at him. “I’ve always had to prove myself to you. That’s kind of our thing.”

“I only ever wanted the best for you.”

“Even when I turned your nose into a dick?”

“Even then.”

I sighed and looked down at the pack in my lap. I had to get this out before I couldn’t. “I don’t remember some of it. About being in the woods. It’s like… a dream. The more I’m removed from it, the hazier it gets.”

Randall said nothing.

“Not all of it, though. Some things are startlingly clear. I remember the rain on my face when I walked through the Dark Woods. I remember the pain I felt. The grief. I remember questioning myself, if I was doing the right thing. If I was just running away again. Or if I was doing what was expected of me. After… after Morgan died, when you came and took Myrin away, you told me that I had to do what was necessary, even if my heart was breaking.”

Randall closed his eyes and breathed.

“And I did. I did, Randall, even though my heart was breaking. Because I was lost. Morgan was gone. You were gone. Ryan was… dying. The King proclaimed I would be his wizard when you returned. And the gods, they… you know what they wanted from me. What they asked. The Great White told me the first time that I had to go with him. That I had to leave all others behind and enter the woods.”

Randall opened his eyes. “I thought that might be the case.”

I smiled weakly. “Which is why you said what you did.”

“I didn’t—”

I shook my head. “After you took him, where did you go?”

“To the ends of the earth. To a place where fire and ice meet along great frozen shelves and the ground splits and lava spills. I left him there, but I knew it to be a temporary fix. That in the end, it would only hobble him until he could return. It was the only thing I could think to do to buy us all time. But he was stronger than I expected, and it didn’t take him long to find his way back to Verania.”

“Because of what he consumed.”

“Yes, Sam. Because of what he consumed.”

“You told me once that you had hope, that you thought one day he could find his way back from the Dark. Like you did.”

“Yes.”

I looked him straight in the eye. “He lost that right. When he took Morgan. Whatever was left of the Myrin you knew is gone now.”

“I know,” he said quietly. “But I believe my cornerstone was lost long before he ever stepped foot back in Verania.”

I believed him. “We traveled into the woods. For weeks. I didn’t… I didn’t think they were so large. I was sure that the farther we walked, the greater the chance we’d come out on the other side and that I’d see the Northern Mountains in the distance. But it didn’t happen. The forest went on and on and on, and eventually we weren’t in Verania anymore. We were… beyond it. In between this world and the next. The trees were ancient. The sun was bigger. The stars were different. I asked the Great White where we were, and he told me that it didn’t matter. That I had to clear my mind. That I had to forget. My friends. My family. My cornerstone.” I laughed bitterly. “I was a weapon of the gods, after all. And here I was, far from home, being crammed full of magic, so much so that I thought my soul would break, preparing to face down a man who has taken so much from all of us. And what choice did I have? If the gods wanted Myrin vanquished, then he would be. If they wanted me to stop him, then I would. Instead I was a pawn on a board, a piece being moved from square to square, and it was a game.”

“You were angry.”

“Very,” I admitted. “I raged against the stars and against the dragons. Against you and Morgan and Vadoma for putting me in this position. Against my magic for even existing at all. It was a burden, one that I never asked for.” I sighed. “But then I realized I had asked for it. When I was a kid, I’d made a wish upon the stars. I wished to be someone important. Someone who mattered. And my wish had been granted. Because I was important, though not in the way I expected. I mattered. And not because of what the gods had placed upon me. I mattered because I was loved. My parents. The King. Morgan. Justin. Gary and Tiggy and Kevin. Pete. Ryan, always my cornerstone. You.”

He took in a sharp breath.

“My wish came true,” I continued, brushing my fingers over the pack, feeling the enclosed Grimoires. “I was important, and not because of what I could do. But because of the people who would lay down their life for me. I mattered, and not because of the magic I wield, but because there were people counting on me. And I was going to do everything I could to get back to them. Maybe it’s selfish, but I didn’t stay in the woods for the sake of Verania. I stayed because I’m loved, and I love in return. And that was something the gods could never understand. That the Great White could never understand, for all his anger toward cornerstones. That magic doesn’t matter—none of this matters—if you have to go it alone.”

“What did you do?” Randall whispered.

All that was left was the truth. “I agreed to go with the Great White. I agreed to let him change me. To make me into a wizard. To turn me into someone capable of mastering the dragons of Verania. To accept my destiny and become what the gods were forcing me to be, if and only if, after all was said and done, after Myrin had been vanquished and the Darks banished from Verania, he would take my magic from me and make me mortal.”

The only sounds came from the fire.

“He fought me on it,” I said. “For a long time. In that hazy place. For weeks, I think, we fought.”

“And he agreed?”

I rolled my eyes. “What? Of course not. He’s an asshole. Like hell he would do that. He was offended I even asked him, and eventually he told me either I would shut up, or he would banish me to a realm filled with tiny fish who would gnaw on me for decades.”

“That… sounds like him.”

“And then he pointed out that there would always be villains even beyond Myrin, and that me not having my magic was a really stupid idea. Which, you know, fair point.”

“But then how—”

I grinned rakishly at him. “I’m Sam of Dragons. Do you really think I’d let something like that stop me? You said it yourself. My magic seems limitless. And it’s what would extend my life. What the Great White didn’t realize was that by teaching me control, to harness everything that was bursting from my lightning-struck heart, he gave me the tools to do it myself. You and Morgan always told me that I was the most powerful wizard in an age. I don’t know if that’s true. But I do have enough power in me to stop it from extending my life. I am a wizard, Randall. But I will age, just like my parents. Like the King. And Justin. And Ryan. We’ll grow old together. And should one of us cross the veil before the other, it can be done with the knowledge that we’ll soon be together again.”

He looked stunned. “You made yourself mortal.”

I shrugged. “Yeah. Maybe I’ll have a few years tacked on at the end, but my magic doesn’t control me. I control it. I’m a puppet to no one. It wasn’t easy, and gods, did it hurt, but… it’ll be worth it. I think. In the end.”

Randall shook his head slowly. “You stupid, wonderful boy.”

I laughed. “The Great White wasn’t too happy with me when he found out. But, eh. What can you do.”

“And what of Kevin? And Tiggy? Gary?”

My smile faded a little at that. “They will have each other. And a lifetime of memories. Because a life lived is a life worth remembering, no matter how long or short it may be. Myrin has forgotten that. The Great White has too. But I haven’t. I will live my life as best I can. I’m going to kick some villain ass, I’m going to fuck some shit up, and then I’m going to live, Randall. And no one, not you, not the Great White, not the gods, can say otherwise. I’m in control of my own destiny. My path may have been set in stone, but stone crumbles, and sometimes we have to forge our own way through.”

He watched me for a long time, stock-still, gaze searching. Eventually he sighed and shook his head. “You’re a pain in my ass.”

“Oh, please. Like that’s ever going to change. Dude, you’re stuck with me now. We’re wizard bros.”

“We are not wizard bros.”

“Such wizard bros. Face it, Randall. I’m a wizard, you’re a wizard, and we’re bros. Therefore, wizard bros.”

“I despise everything about you.”

“We both know that’s not true.”

He glared at me. “What you’ve done shouldn’t even be possible.”

I shrugged. “Pretty much describes everything about me, though, right?”

The skin under his eye twitched.

“Now,” I said, clapping my hands, “as fun as this chat has been, I think it’s time for the cheese and butt sex, so I’m just gonna—”

“Open your pack and take out the Grimoires.”

“Godsdammit,” I muttered. But I did as he asked. The tomes were heavy and felt jittery against my hands, like they were radiating energy. My own felt familiar and light, the pages known to me. Myrin’s was dark and heavy, a rotten mystery whispering in my ears.

Morgan’s felt like comfort and home. It was his I’d avoided the most.

“If you want to defeat Myrin,” Randall said, “the answers lie within these pages.”

I frowned at him. “That sounded suspiciously like something Vadoma would say. Be more specific, please.”

He looked like he barely stopped himself from reaching out and slapping me upside the head. “What is a wizard’s Grimoire?”

“Their history,” I said promptly. “The story of their lives. Their triumphs and failures, their magic and their innermost thoughts. Even though you give me shit for putting my innermost thoughts in mine.”

“That’s because yours are done in sparkly pink pens and usually have to do with how firm Ryan Foxheart’s buttocks are.”

“Yeah,” I sighed dreamily. “Like, you can bounce stuff off of it. Trust me, I have.”

“Most other wizards have an emotional maturity that doesn’t allow them to write Mrs. Sam Foxheart in the margins.”

“I pity them immensely.”

“Be that as it may, if you hope to find the way to defeat Myrin, then here is where you must look. You have the magic, Sam. You have the dragons. Now it’s time to formulate a plan.”

“How do you know I don’t already have a plan?”

He stared at me.

“Right, right. It’s me we’re talking about. Sucks, dude.”

“You should start with Morgan’s. He would… I told you he knew. That day.”

I nodded, swallowing past the sudden lump in my throat.

Randall averted his gaze, suddenly looking very tired. “I think, in the end, he knew what was coming. What he was doing. What was going to happen. And I know you blame yourself, Sam. For what happened. But your guilt is unfounded. Or at the very least, misplaced. Morgan of Shadows chose you because he loved you more than anyone or anything else in this world.”

My eyes were stinging and wet. There was nothing I could do to stop it.

Randall’s hands shook. “I know that if called upon, he would do it again. And again. And again, because more than anything, he believed in you. He believed that good would always conquer evil, that the light would always burn away the shadows. He made a choice that day, Sam. He chose you. And I think he always would.”

I hung my head. Tears dripped onto his Grimoire in my lap.

“Turn to page five hundred and twenty-seven in Morgan’s Grimoire, if you please. Read what is written, and then join me outside. It’s time we reunite a unicorn with his horn. Gods only know how that’s going to go.”

He lifted himself from his chair, knees popping as he grumbled about being far too old for this shit. There was a brief moment as he passed me by when he put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed.

And then he was gone.

The house was quiet around me.

The fire was nothing but charred wood and tendrils of smoke.

I—

 

 

“—THINK IT’S time for me to return,” I said as the Great White loomed above me. The others were there but not there at the same time, lost in the haze, the colors of the forest bleeding around me like wet paint. I felt them, their little pinpricks of light, bright and strong. The bonds between us had grown from the first day I’d entered the forest, grief-stricken and blinded by tears. I carried them within me, each of them pulsing and reverberating within me.

“Do you?” GW asked. “Why?”

“Because I’m ready.”

“What is your plan for Myrin?”

I waved a hand dismissively at him. “I’ll figure it out on the way. I’m good at making shit up on the fly. You know how it is.”

“You’re not ready.”

“You said that to me before. And yet here I am, all magically juiced up with five different dragons floating around in my head. I’m pretty sure I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

He rumbled his displeasure. “You know the risks.”

“Yeah. You’ve drilled them into my head a billion times. Death, destruction, the end of the world. It kind of loses its urgency when you’re always doom and gloom. Are you what Zero is going to grow up to be like? Are you a grown-up emo dragon? Do you write sad poems in your diary—”

“You think you have me fooled, child. But you don’t.”

I forced a neutral expression onto my face. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

He lowered his head until we were eye level. Or rather, as eye level as a puny human standing (floating?) in front of a gigantic dragon could be. “You do not take my warning seriously.”

“Uh, yeah. I do. All six thousand of them. But just for the sake of expediting this conversation, which warning specifically?”

“That you are still capable of corruption.”

I winced. “Oh. Right. That one. Look, dude. I know you’re worried that I’m so young and that Myrin will be able to play me like a fiddle and fuck with my head—”

“Sam.”

I looked away, not wanting him to see what I’d struggled to keep hidden from him. It sounded like he was on the fringes of it as it was.

“If you’re not careful, Myrin will use your magic against you and all the people of Verania. Either he will take it from you, or you will join him.”

“Doom and gloom, man.”

He scoffed. “Foolish human. You take nothing seriously.”

“Again, I can point out that I’m here, aren’t I?”

“You still believe in them. In him.”

And I was done with this. With him. “I’ve done a lot. I’ve accepted this thing, this destiny, with minimal complaint.”

He snorted.

“Okay, fine. With a normal amount of complaint, but I told you from the beginning. You won’t take my cornerstone away from me. You’re so worried about Myrin twisting me into something Dark, well, that’s what Ryan is for. I know you don’t believe in the strength of cornerstones. There’s nothing I can do to change that. But I do believe in them, in him. No one, not you, and certainly not the gods, will convince me otherwise. They are my family. My home. I would do anything to protect them.”

“They will lead to your ruin. You will be blinded because of him.”

“I’m not Randall,” I said, because wasn’t that the crux of the matter? Wasn’t that what GW was trying to prove? “And Ryan isn’t Myrin. He’s going to be furious with me, and I’ll take it, but I know we’ll be okay. He loves me, and I love him. And if you or the gods don’t like that, you can go fuck yourselves right in your stupid faces.”

He reared back, teeth bared.

I rolled my eyes. “Not scary, dude. I’ve seen you poop. You can’t be intimidating when you poop small mountains.”

“I’ve decided to send you back.”

“Sweet molasses,” I said, eyes wide. “I didn’t think that’d actually work. Yes! I can convince anyone of anything. I am a master of manipula—I mean, great. Wonderful. Glad you came to that decision all on your own which I wholeheartedly approve of.”

“But you would do well to heed my warning. You are not safe, Sam of Dragons. You’re strong, and your heart is wild, but Myrin will know where to strike to hurt you the most. You must not lose your way, or I fear that all will be lost. And that must come from within. You cannot depend on anyone else to bring you back from the Dark. That is something you must do on your own.”

I grinned up at him. “I so got this. So, I can go? Like, legit?”

“Did you hear my—”

“Yes, I heard your warning, for fuck’s sake. Come on. Say it. Say it. Say—”

“You may go.”

I raised my hands above my head and crowed. “Hell yeah, dude! I’m going to fucking rock this shit. Just watch. I so got this. I so—”

 

 

“—GOT THIS,” I whispered to the empty house in Camp HaveHeart. I traced my fingers over Morgan’s Grimoire, my own and Myrin’s set to the side.

I wasn’t going to turn Dark.

I wasn’t.

I wasn’t.

I wondered if Myrin had thought the same.

And if Randall had too.

I opened the Grimoire, flipping the thick pages, seeing the familiar scrawl flashing before my eyes. There was a bittersweet ache in my heart at the sight of it, and I wanted to slow down, to peruse each and every page. But there wasn’t time. Randall was waiting for me, and I needed to finally see my best friend get his horn back. He’d earned it.

So I turned to page five hundred and twenty-seven.

It was toward the back of the book, right before the section of really dark shit that most wizards had listed. The back of the Grimoire was always dedicated to the things no wizard should ever do. Even the good ones—the best—sometimes had dark thoughts, the difference being that they were written down and never acted upon. I didn’t think I was ready to see what Morgan had written in the back of his Grimoire and was thankful that Randall hadn’t directed me to it.

Instead, on page five hundred and twenty-seven was a page addressed to me, looking as if it’d been written in haste, the words slanting so much so that it seemed they’d fall over with the smallest of breaths. I traced my written name with a finger, hearing Morgan in my head, telling me that I had magic in me and that he wanted to take me away to the castle.

“Oh,” I said. “Oh, Morgan.”

Sam—

If you’re reading this, I have passed beyond the veil.

“Drama queen,” I muttered, voice broken.

And no, I’m not being dramatic. The only time an apprentice should read his mentor’s Grimoire is if the mentor has left this world for the next. If you are reading this and I am still alive, know that your punishment will be swift. I’m aware of a curse that will cause impotency and erectile dysfunction, and given that you are in the prime of your life and “getting laid on the reg,” as you insist upon telling me daily, I believe this will be an appropriate punishment. So, beware.

But if I am gone, then… well. Know this: I have lived a good life. A long life. A life made whole because of you. If I must stand before the gods and point to the single thing I’m most proud of, the one thing I believe shows the summation of my worth, it would be you. You are my heart, Sam. And my soul.

I know part of you is still angry with me for keeping from you what I did. And you are justified in your anger. I wish I had done things differently in that regard. All I ever wanted was to keep you safe and happy, to nurture that spark of life within you until it grew into a conflagration. I knew of you, Sam, but I didn’t know who you were until the day we met. The boy you were. The man you would become. I can say with no hesitation that you have exceeded my every expectation. You are warm and kind and impetuous and ridiculous and so bursting with life that I can barely take my eyes from you.

I fear… I think time is running out. As I write these words, a curl of dread is filling my head and heart. I know not of Myrin’s plans for you. I worry about letting you out of my sight. Why, even now, you’ve gone to visit a sickly girl with the Knight Commander, and though I know you can take care of yourself, I can’t shake the feeling that I shouldn’t have let you go. There’s something I can’t quite—

I don’t know. Maybe I’m overthinking things. Maybe I’m concerned for nothing. You are strong and brave and—

No. Something’s wrong. Something’s wr—

Sam. You must listen to me. If you’re reading this, then I have gone. Whatever happens, know that I’ve made my choice. I chose you because I love you.

If I could have you remember one thing, it would be this: a wizard isn’t as strong as the magic he uses. It’s the magic he doesn’t use that’s a measure of true strength.

Hold on.

I’m coming.

Gods, protect him from the Dark.

The world needs him.

I need him.

I—

 

 

AND THERE in the empty house, I bowed my head and cried.