Chapter 6: A Meeting of the Minds

 

 

RYAN LOOKED rather smug seeing me dressed in his clothes as we left the house, like some primal part of him now saw me as marked. Given the fact that I’d just come all over his face in a house he lived in with Justin, I didn’t give him too much shit, even though I wanted to. We were still on uneven ground, but I thought it’d be something we could overcome.

But I wasn’t under any illusion that things were back to the way they were. We’d both become different people in the last year, both by choices we’d made and things beyond our control. I placed blame directly on Myrin for most of it, though I knew some of it fell on me. Because no matter what I wanted to believe, there was some truth to what Ryan had said. I’d run. Morgan had lain on a slab of stone, Ryan had been hovering between this life and the next, and Randall had disappeared. The King had turned to me to be his wizard, and I’d felt all of that on top of me, and I’d run. Sure, I’d told myself it was the right thing to do, that it was what the gods wanted, and maybe that was partially correct.

Ryan didn’t take my hand as we left the house, but he kept close to me as we walked through Camp HaveHeart, shoulders brushing. The people brightened at the sight of him, nodding at him or calling out in greeting. He responded to each and every one of them with a small smile.

They were warier of me. I didn’t blame them. While they acknowledged Ryan, the smiles on their faces fell a little when they saw me at his side, and they nervously averted their gazes as if they were intimidated. A year ago, I would have been weirdly thrilled.

I didn’t feel like that now.

Mostly.

It was after a small child ran screaming in the opposite direction as we neared, hands flailing above her head, that I said, “Okay, legit, what is going on? It’s like they think I’m going to make their nipples explode or something.”

Ryan frowned after the little girl, her wails fading into the distance. “That’s probably correct.”

“What? I’m not going to make their nipples explode. I would never do such a thing. Well, not to someone who didn’t deserve it.”

“No, not that you would—wait. You can do that now?”

I shrugged. “Maybe. I think I can pretty much do a lot of things with—and now you’ve got that Sam Is So Fine Because Magic look on your face again. I can’t believe that talking about me magically exploding nipples makes you horny.”

He scowled at me. “I’m not horny at the idea of you making nipples explode.”

“Yeah. Okay. Tell that to your penis.”

“I’m not going to tell anything to my penis.”

“Come on. Just tell it. Just tell your penis that—”

“Sam.”

“Right. So, why the weirdness?”

“They feel guilty.”

“About?”

“How they treated you before you left.”

I stopped in the middle of the busy street, people scurrying around me. “Come again?”

“I already did once. You need to give me a little more time before we try.”

I gaped at him. “Did you just—”

He was flushing brightly. “I didn’t mean to say that. Ignore it.”

“I don’t know if I can now. You just said a sex pun.”

“Do you—do you understand what a pun actually is? Because I don’t think you—”

“Ryan. Stop focusing on your dirty, sexy thoughts you’re having about me, regardless of how flattering it is. We’re trying to be serious now. The fate of our country is hanging in the balance, and you’re being perverted.”

He sighed as if I was the most ridiculous thing in the world. “There was a lot of anger toward you. Before. The We-Hate-Sam-A-Lots tapped into that. And maybe people would have let it go, but then it was given a name and a focus, and they decided it was easier to be angry than to not.”

“Still didn’t stop you from putting their leader in your back pocket,” I muttered.

“Lady Tina is—”

“If you’re going to say she’s sorry, I don’t want to hear it. You’ve forgiven her. Great. I haven’t, and I doubt I ever will.”

“She’s—”

“And don’t tell me she’s changed either. Because evil will always be evil, especially when it’s a teenage girl.”

“I trust her.”

I stared at him.

He shrugged.

I stared some more.

He fidgeted. It was adorable. I was so angry.

“You do remember she was there in that house with Myrin and Ruv, don’t you?” I asked slowly. “Because if you’ve forgotten, I can remind you.”

“I know. But she says she didn’t know about Ruv’s ties to Myrin.”

“And you believe her? Ryan, she could be lying—”

“Of course I didn’t,” he said. “But she has proven herself time and time again over the past year, and she—”

“She could be a spy. For all we know, she’s reporting back to Myrin as we speak! No, it’s probably best that we banish her for all time. I’ll go take care of that right now—”

“Do you trust me?”

That stopped me. “What?”

“It’s a simple question, Sam. Do you trust me?”

I squinted at him. “This seems like a trick. Like, I’ll say yes, and you’ll be all then you need to trust her. Or if I say no, then you’ll say well, now we need to get a divorce.”

“We’re not married.”

“Well, not yet. Once you get over being mad at me, and after we vanquish all the villains, we’ll talk. Seriously, Ryan, proposing right now is really bad timing—”

“I didn’t propose. And besides, didn’t you already propose to me back in the Dark Woods when we were going after the Great White? I distinctly remember you—”

“Wow,” I breathed. “You want to get married to me so bad. You’re arguing with me about it even though I’m trying to talk to you about your betrayal. This is epic.”

He glared at me. “I’m not arguing with you—”

“Do you trust me?”

And he didn’t hesitate when he said, “Yes.”

“Then I need you to believe me about—”

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

“And I trust her. I’m not asking you to. But I am telling you to trust me about her.”

“That was… devious. Well played, Knight Delicious Face. But what the hell does this have to do with everyone staring at me weird?”

“They think you’re angry with them,” he said. He waved his hand at the camp. “These are the people who thought you left them because of what they did to you. They turned their backs on you, and they thought you’d done the same to them. They’re scared, Sam. They have been for a long time. And then you come back and it’s….” He shook his head tiredly. “They want to have hope. The whole… destiny thing is well-known now. It’s grown. They speak of it like a legend.”

“Katya and Brant.”

“What about them?”

“When they were trapped on the cliff’s edge by Caleb and the Darks, Katya said… she said that she believed in me, that I would come and save them. That I’d return one day.”

“And then you happened to pop out and do just that.”

“Right? So badass.”

“Yeah, I’m sure it did wonders for your fragile ego.”

“Sarcasm. Nice. I approve. I couldn’t disappoint my fans.”

Ryan rolled his eyes, and I wanted to watch his face for the rest of my days, taking in everything I’d missed. “They’re in awe of you, Sam. They know of the dragons. What the gods have put upon your shoulders. What you’re tasked with. They need you. And they worry you won’t care.”

“How do you know all this?”

He shrugged. “I’ve been living with it for months now. Look, Sam. When we’re children, we hear stories of heroes and villains, of knights and wizards fighting against rogues and scoundrels. Good always triumphs over evil. Then we grow up and we pass them on to the next generation, even if we don’t quite believe in them anymore. But that’s changed now. Because they want to believe. They need you, Sam. They need you to be their hero. And they’re scared you won’t want to be.”

I looked at the people around us, the way they hunched their shoulders as they passed us by, looking at the ground as they shuffled their feet in the grass and dirt. A few of them would look up at me, eyes widening when they saw me looking back, and then move quickly away. Children openly gawked as their parents struggled to pull them down the dirt road. Only the knights standing at their posts throughout the camp seemed to meet my gaze for any length of time, but they’d always had my back.

“I’m not some kind of savior,” I said quietly, beginning to feel the weight of expectation pressing down upon my shoulders.

“Aren’t you?” Ryan asked, arching an eyebrow. “Because that’s what they need you to do. Save them. That’s what they’ve been waiting for.”

“They scoffed at me. They turned their backs on me. They hated me. They did everything in their power to have me removed as Morgan’s apprentice.”

“They did.”

“And now that they don’t have any other choice, they need me.”

“They do.”

“You think it’s that simple.”

He shrugged. “Probably.”

“Huh. I’ll be honest. I’m probably going to lord this over them so much that even Kevin will be impressed. I’m going to be so insufferable, you are going to regret this whole guilt trip pep talk whatever. Okay. I’ll do it.”

Ryan blinked. “That’s it?”

I squinted at him. “Should I have said no?”

“You….” He shook his head. “Just when I think you can’t surprise me anymore, you do it anyway.”

I grinned rakishly. “Damn right I do. I’m Sam of Dragons.”

“Ungh.”

“Ryan, please. Not in front of my adoring public.”

He took my hand and squeezed it tightly. “We’re gonna be okay.”

“We as in everyone? Or we as in you and me?”

“Both.”

“You’re gonna be mad, though, huh?”

“You better believe it. You fucked up, Sam. And you’re gonna owe me for the rest of our lives.”

I kissed him. I figured we both deserved it.

 

 

THEY WERE waiting for us in a large tent near the entrance to the docks. The smell of salt on the air and the sound of seagulls calling out overhead reminded me of the way the Port used to be before Verania fell, and I promised myself it would be that way again.

Two knights stood outside the tent, snapping to attention and saluting Ryan and me as we approached. One of them winked at me as we passed by and commented how nice the mark on my neck looked. Ryan glared at him, but the knights just laughed.

“He doesn’t know how to control himself around me,” I told them. “He gets one look at this hot bod and can’t help but do things to it.”

“Would you stop undermining my authority,” Ryan muttered, his cheeks red as he pulled me into the tent.

“I’ll let you undermine my authority if you get under my—and those are my parents standing there with their judgmental faces. Mom. Dad. Ignore what I just said. My virtue is intact.”

“I thought Knight Delicious Face eat your flower,” Tiggy said, face scrunched up. “Sam go in woods and become virgin again?”

“I’ve missed these cringeworthy moments,” Dad told Mom. “It feels like things are finally getting back to normal. Well, as normal as things can be in a makeshift camp after being forced from our homes by hordes of Darks.”

“It’s good to know that even as a wizard now, he can still make an entire room feel uncomfortable with just a few words,” Mom said. “Do you remember when he was little and would get scared of the dust monster he thought lived under his bed? He would come crying in our room and demand to sleep with us. It was easier to say no when he turned fifteen.”

“Ha ha,” I laughed awkwardly. “She’s joking, everyone. I never did that. Ha ha ha. So funny, she is.”

“Glad you both could join us,” Justin said coolly, standing in front of a large table littered with parchments and scrolls, including what looked to be a detailed schematic of Castle Lockes. “Maybe next time, take the hour that I gave you and use it wisely without wasting my time. Do we understand each other?”

“So kingly,” I whispered to Ryan. “Gives me chills.”

Ryan nudged my shoulder and shook his head.

“Are we good?” Justin asked, glancing at Ryan.

I waited, fearing what answer he would give, or that it would be a lie.

“Getting there,” Ryan said, and I believed him. His hand was still in mine, and he didn’t seem as if he wanted to let go.

The interior of the tent was spacious but cluttered. There were boards set up on wooden stands that looked to be covered in strategies meant for battle, lines showing movement and direction against an opposing force. Several of them showed various methods of attack, and while I thought they seemed well planned, I couldn’t help but wonder what they expected to happen, sending their brawn and swords against waves of Dark magic. I didn’t see it ending well, even if I was impressed that they seemed to be preparing to fight back.

Standing near the Prince was Lady Tina, her sword in its scabbard at her side, her hair pulled back in a ponytail. If I didn’t know that in her chest beat a cold thing of malice, I would have thought she looked like she belonged next to him. I didn’t like it one bit. If she thought she could come in and steal my best friend 5eva, then she was going to have a fight on her hands. She stared at me unnervingly, as if daring me to say something about her presence. I would have, too, and probably said something so witty and demoralizing that she’d run crying from Camp HaveHeart, never to be seen again, but I was distracted by another person standing in the room next to my parents.

Vadoma. Why she would need to be here with the others was beyond me. She could leave with Lady Tina.

And next to her was Terry, a sight I didn’t know if I was ever going to get used to. He had an expression of disdain on his face, looking so much like his brother that I did a double take, especially when I saw it was directed at me. He sneered a little before looking at the knight at my side. “Ryan, are you all right? That miserable little thing seems to be clutching on to you as if it were some kind of malevolent barnacle. If you’d like, I can remove it for you and you can stand by me and feel comforted by the fact that I have saved you.”

“That’s how they are,” Lady Tina told him. “It’s a sort of affliction for which I have yet to find a cure.”

“How terrible,” Terry said. He eyed Lady Tina up and down. “I have decided I like you. You should feel blessed, as I don’t like most people.” He glanced back at Ryan. “I also like Ryan. A lot.”

Lady Tina preened.

Ryan blushed.

I decided I hated Terry.

“Hi, Terry,” Ryan said, a dopey smile on his face. “I hope you’re settling in well at Camp HaveHeart.

Little rays of light began to shoot from Terry’s horn as he batted his eyes at Ryan.

I decided I really hated Terry.

“So,” I said. “This is just a gathering of all my favorite people in the entire world. Neat. I’m just thrilled that some of you are with some others. Thrilled.”

“I had a vision you would say that,” Vadoma said, the bangles on her wrists knocking together. “I have many visions about everything you say. None of them are good.”

“Well that’s not surprising,” Terry said.

“It really isn’t,” Lady Tina agreed.

Yeah, this wasn’t going to fly. “I think we should take a vote about certain people being kicked out of the Cool Club, because certain people are not being cool—”

“Sorry, sorry,” Gary said, bursting into the tent, panting wildly. “I was unavoidably detained doing… charity work.”

“Charity work,” I repeated. “Your mane and tail look like they’ve been wind-raped.”

He gasped. “How dare you tell a unicorn such a thing? Why, I am offended that those words could possibly even come out of your—”

“What charity?”

“What?”

“You said you were busy doing charity. What charity?”

His eyes shifted side to side. “You know. The one with. The albino… children.”

“And what do you do for the albino children?”

“Protect them? From… the sun. The sun’s rays. Yes, I shield them from the sun with my mane and tail, which explains why I look as disheveled as I do.”

“What’s the name of the charity?”

“Gary’s House for the Pigmentally Challenged Youth Where I Pretend To Be Chivalrous, But Do It So I Feel Better About Myself.”

“What the fu—”

The ground shook as the tent flaps parted and Kevin stuck his head inside. He grinned when he saw me. “Look at that,” he said. “Right on time as always. You know what they say, a dragon is never late, and that’s what makes them so great.”

“Literally no one says—Kevin.”

“Yes, Sam.”

“You have rainbows dripping from your mouth.”

“Oh. Do I? How about that. How positively droll.” His tongue snaked out from his mouth and flicked along his lips. His eyes fluttered shut at the taste. “Must have been that… rainbow… I flew through. On my way to the meeting.”

“And obviously it has nothing to do with me,” Gary said quickly. “Because of the albino children. Who I love.”

“All together again,” Tiggy said, smiling broadly. “So happy.”

“Are we finished?” Justin asked. “Because I didn’t just travel for days bringing Gary’s brother here to listen to this. We had a point, which seems to have been put into disarray because of someone’s return.”

I looked around the room, frowning in agreement. “The Prince is right. You are all distracting him from—oh. Right. You were talking about me. I get that now. My bad.”

“I agree,” Terry said, looking at Gary disdainfully. “The Prince has spoken and has asked for your attention. Brother, your perversions are not necessary. Ryan, you should come stand next to me so you can hear better and contribute with my input. Leave Sam where he is. I don’t want fleas.”

“I don’t have fleas,” I growled as I itched my scalp. “I had to bathe in a creek. For months. I’m sorry if I look like a homeless addict. You would too if you’d been through what I have.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Terry said. “I’m an accountant. Which, as everyone knows, is a stable job with health benefits that would extend to any partner I might have.” He stared at Ryan.

“Oh, here we go,” Gary said, rolling his eyes dramatically. “Listen to my brother, everyone! He’s got a job and insurance and a house and responsibilities. He’s so perfect with his mortgage and his imported tile and his horn.”

“I’ve seen the inside of the place you call home,” Terry retorted. “It looks like a hovel belonging to an elderly blind woman who once had impeccable decorating skills but then decided to just slaughter everyone inside a yarn store and leave their parts on the walls and floors.”

“Ooh,” Tiggy and I said.

Glitter started sloughing off Gary. “Bitch, I’ll cut you, bitch. You wanna know what Gary’s gonna do? Gary’s gonna bring the motherfucking pain.”

“I am so conflicted,” Kevin said to me. “On one hand, I feel like I should intervene. On the other hand, I’ve never been more aroused.”

“Is that all you’re going to bring?” Terry asked, sounding bored. “How quaint.”

“Oh, it’s already been brought. In fact, I’ve brought so much, we’re gonna have leftovers.”

“Ooohhh,” Tiggy and I said.

“I’m coming for you,” Gary said, prancing in place. “I’m coming.”

“Me too,” Kevin whispered.

“Gross,” I muttered.

There was a moment when I felt sorry for Terry, even though he obviously wanted to climb on Ryan’s junk. When Gary got a good Unicorn Rage going, the person on the receiving end would most likely be crushed either physically or emotionally. I couldn’t honestly say which was worse.

And while I did feel sorry for Terry, I thought it was probably a good time that he be put in his place. He obviously didn’t understand the pecking order around here, and dominance needed to be established. After Gary crushed him, I would pull Ryan in and mack on his face while Terry watched, just so he knew where he stood. It was harsh but necessary.

So imagine my surprise when Gary screeched his battle cry and charged his brother, only to have Terry’s horn flash brilliantly. The air in the room instantly turned frigid, and a loud crack echoed as a wave of pure magic bowled over me. I had to take a step back at the sheer force of it. But unlike dragon magic or Dark magic, this felt pure and bright, like it was coming from the sun.

The room fell silent as the magic faded.

Then:

“Did you just turn him to ice?” Ryan asked, sounding impressed.

“I can do stuff like that too,” I said with a scowl.

Kevin started growling low and deep in his throat, and Tiggy took a step forward, hands curling into large fists. “Tiggy smash?” he asked in a dangerous voice, staring directly at Terry, who barely flinched.

“How brutish,” he said. “No, you may not smash. I was defending myself. You all saw it. He was coming after me. The gods only know why he’s so quick to anger. I should think there would be some underlying issues that have nothing to do with me that need resolution. I’m sure there are therapists who specialize in his specific form of psychopathy.” He glanced at me. “Or maybe it has to do with those he surrounds himself with.”

Gary was screaming angrily, but it was muffled under the ice.

And that… well.

That didn’t sit right with me.

There was green and gold, and I pushed and the ice cracked right down the middle and then melted instantly.

“And I will destroy everything you live for, mark my words!” Gary was snarling. “You will regret the day you—huh. I appear to be no longer frozen. But you didn’t—why are you staring at Sam like that?”

And Terry was, with an expression of annoyance mixed with begrudging respect. It was an odd look but one I was used to. “How did you do that?” he demanded. “I am a unicorn. My magic is pure. You shouldn’t have been able to disrupt it. You’re human.”

“I told you,” I said. “I’m a wizard now.”

“Ungh,” Ryan said, and we all turned slowly to look at him.

Terry took a step toward him. “Are you okay, Ryan? You look flushed. Are you ill?”

“Gods,” Justin said. “I’ve gone a year without having to see that expression. And now I’m seeing it all the time.”

“Ryan has magic kink,” Tiggy said wisely. “Makes him all stupid and sticky.”

Terry’s eyes widened as he stuck his chest out. “Does he? Well, well, well, as luck would have it, I have magic—”

“It’s only for Sam’s magic,” Justin said. “No one else.”

“Ryan,” I whispered. “You’re drooling a little.”

“Whuzzat?” He looked a little dazed as he tried to wipe his chin. He missed and poked himself in the nose.

“He loves me,” I announced to the room, but mostly to Terry and Lady Tina. “In case anyone here had any doubts about that. Also, Terry? You touch Gary again, and you won’t like what’s going to happen.”

“Really?” he scoffed. “I highly doubt that—”

“Go ahead,” I said, nodding at Gary. “Do it again. Test me.”

Gary frowned. “Well, don’t test on me. That’s just—”

Terry looked affronted. “You’re just a human—”

“Test. Me.”

He balked.

“Ooohhhh,” Tiggy said.

“Ungh,” Ryan and Kevin both said.

“I’ve never heard of a human being able to disrupt a unicorn’s magic,” Terry said, sounding aggrieved. “It’s unnatural. Unicorns are pure and uncorrupted, incapable of sin.”

“Riiight,” I said. “Because obviously you’ve never met your brother at all.”

“I do gross things,” Gary announced.

“Perhaps we should focus on why this meeting was called,” Lady Tina snapped. “Or we could continue wasting the Prince’s time.”

“I like her,” Vadoma said, appraising Lady Tina. “Well-spoken. Make a good wife for my grandson. You want to be cornerstone? Yes. Having a vision. Ooooooh, I see you and Sam falling in love and—”

“Burn her at the stake,” I hissed.

“As I was saying before this travesty occurred,” Justin said, glaring at me like it was all my fault, “as is evident by our guests, the mission was partially successful. We were able to locate Gary’s brother. Unfortunately, we could not find his parents.”

“Swingers tour apparently took them out of the country,” Ryan whispered in my ear.

“Gods,” I whispered back. “How fucking long have they been doing that?”

Justin ignored us, turning and bowing to Terry. “As the Grand Prince of Verania, I extend to you my gratitude at your assistance in this most important of matters. And as I’m sure you can see, circumstances have certainly… changed… from what I told you they were.” He glanced in my direction.

I stared back at him, waiting for him to continue.

He didn’t.

I looked behind me. There was no one there. “Oh, do you mean me? I’m the circumstance that—okay. Because you didn’t expect me to be here. Got it. See? Even after all this time, we’re still on the same wavelength. Best friends 5eva. Do you remember the secret handshake I taught you? We should do it right now to reaffirm our—okay, not the time. You can put your sword away.”

He did but kept his hand on the hilt. “And while circumstances have changed, the end result has not. We have brought you here because we need your assistance. In the end, if we are to emerge victorious over the Darks, we’ll need everyone we can. But before we begin to discuss the next phase, I’d like to invite Sam to speak on his plan to defeat Myrin with the dragons of Verania. It’s possible what I have in mind might not even be necessary, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. Sam, if you please.”

“Oh boy,” I said. “Yeah. Um. About that.”

“Uh-oh,” Tiggy said.

“I can’t wait to hear this,” Gary whispered to him. “It’s probably going to be hysterical. Oh, how I’ve missed his shenanigans.”

I scratched the back of my head. “So, funny story. I might have… spent all my time in the Dark Woods learning how to wizard and not exactly coming up with a plan to defeat Myrin?”

Justin’s face turned red. “You what.”

“Oh, no,” I said quickly. “No, no, no. There is a strong outline of a plan that I really am quite proud of. It’s just, you know, filling it all in from beginning to end.”

“Why don’t you enlighten us as to the outline,” Justin said through gritted teeth.

“Outline might be a bit of an overexaggeration,” Kevin said. “Not that I would know about overexaggerating anything.”

“Okay,” I said. “Look. So. Here’s the plan. Step one: return like a badass. Done and done. Step two: let everyone fawn over me at my return and get funky with my babe. Done and done.”

“We didn’t get funky,” Ryan muttered.

“Step three: defeat Myrin using dragons and smiting all our enemies and regaining all that we have lost… somehow. That’s the one that’s a work in progress, in case you couldn’t tell. And finally, step four: live happily ever after. And also find Justin a boyfriend.” I squinted at him. “Unless you already found a boyfriend? Because if you did, that kind of ruins my whole plan, and so we should just go with whatever you wanted to do. I’m totally okay with that. I’m so happy for you.”

Justin banged his head on the table.

“So no boyfriend, then. Huh. Well, I can get right on that part if we want to reconvene in, say, a week or so—”

“You spent,” Justin said, glaring at me, “all that time in the woods, and you don’t have a plan?”

“Hey! I told you. I was learning how to wizard.”

“Why can’t you just storm the castle using those things?” Lady Tina asked. “Isn’t that what you got them for? I mean, what else is a dragon for?”

Kevin snarled at her, teeth sharp and glinting as I said, “Those things have names. And we can’t just storm Castle Lockes. Not without knowing what we’re facing. I don’t want to risk them only to find out we’re outmatched. I don’t know what’s happened to Myrin since he….” I sighed. “Since he consumed Morgan’s magic. I don’t know how strong he is. I can’t risk them like that. It’s not fair to them. Because while they may be dragons, they’re still my friends. Most of them. Okay, all except one, but only because he’s an asshole and thinks he’s better than everyone, which, to be fair, he is older than literal dirt, so….” No one looked very reassured. I had to try to make it better. “Look, I always come up with a plan, right. And they’re always—”

Gary coughed.

“Okay, fine. And they’re usually—”

Tiggy sneezed.

“Oh my gods. And they’re sometimes… anyone else? No one? Great. They’re sometimes good and we end up coming out on top. I don’t see why now should be any different.”

“That may be true,” Justin said, “but the stakes are so much higher than we’ve ever faced before. This isn’t about one of us getting captured and the others riding in to the rescue. This is about the freedom of the people of Verania. The City of Lockes has been turned into the country’s largest prison. Our people are trapped.”

“I know, but—”

“No,” he said, narrowing his eyes. “You don’t know. You haven’t been here. You haven’t seen the things we have. The treatment of the citizens I am supposed to have protected. You think it’s a little rough here? He has enslaved our people. This is bigger than anything you’ve seen.”

A chill ran down my spine. “I’m sorry.”

Ryan took my hand as Justin shook his head. “I don’t want you to apologize. I want you to figure it out. Okay?”

I nodded and silently promised my best friend 5eva that I would do just that.

“Good.” He looked at the others in the room. “Now, we have two things to focus on which take precedence over anything else: rescuing the King and finding Gary’s horn.”

“Why is the horn a focus?” Vadoma asked, sounding disgruntled. “Shouldn’t our priorities be directed elsewhere?”

“Sam.”

“Yes, Gary.”

“I have a strong dislike for your grandma.”

“Noted. I support your right to have such feelings and agree with them completely.”

“Tiggy too,” Tiggy said, glaring at Vadoma.

“A unicorn is a being of pure magic,” Mom said. “They’re incapable of corruption. Right?”

Terry snorted. “Well, we used to be.”

“Terry,” Dad scolded. “Don’t be mean. And Gary, stop getting glitter everywhere. Aren’t you two in your seventies now? You’re no longer children. It’s time you started acting like it.”

“But he started it—”

“Gary.”

“Ridiculous,” Terry muttered. “Ryan should come stand by me and comfort me.”

“The horn is the focus,” Justin growled, “because from what I understand, it’s a conduit for a unicorn’s magic.”

“It is,” Terry agreed stiffly. “Humans are capable of stepping into the light or succumbing to the dark. Or even staying firmly in the shadows. Unicorns know only purity. We are incapable of evil because of the clarity of our souls.”

“And we need all the help we can get,” Justin said. “Terry has agreed—”

“Maybe I’ll change my mind. You don’t own me.”

“—has agreed to join our cause. Not just because it’s the right thing to do, because this is his home too. Myrin and the Darks affect all of us, humans and magical creatures alike. And while having him here is a boost to our cause, having him assist us in finding Gary’s horn is why I’ve asked him here.” He looked at Gary, and his face softened a little. It was startling to see him directing such an expression toward Gary. “I know it’s a… tough subject, and obviously traumatic, but any insight you can give would certainly help.”

“You’re probably going to regret saying that,” I warned Justin, even as Gary’s eyes widened.

Justin frowned. “Why would I regret—”

“Sam! Tiggy! Did you hear that?”

I sighed. “Yes, Gary. I heard.”

“Do we have to?” Tiggy asked mournfully.

“What’s going on?” Vadoma asked.

“Justin asked Gary about his horn,” Mom told her. “There’s a… performance. About what happened. It’s very theatrical.”

“Sam! Tiggy! Take your places. Don’t make me ask you again!”

“What are you doing?” Ryan asked as I started to walk away from him.

I shrugged. “It’s part of the Sam/Gary/Tiggy Friendship Pact of Love and Respect. Anytime someone has the balls to ask Gary about his horn directly, we have to perform the story.”

Justin’s face was in his hands and his voice was muffled when he said, “I don’t know why I can’t see these things coming.”

“You remember your lines?” Gary whispered to me as I came to stand beside him. Tiggy was fumbling with a lantern, wrapping a stiff piece of parchment paper he’d snagged from the table around it to make a spotlight.

“Do I remember my lines,” I scoffed.

“It’s a fair question. For all I know, your eyebrows negate your acting abilities, what little there is. You’re a child of the forest now. Maybe you don’t remember how to people.”

“You made us practice this for four weeks straight with only three hours of sleep a night in case this very moment ever happened. I won’t be able to forget it no matter how hard I try.”

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“You threatened to murder me if I didn’t wake up during the third week.”

“Well, yeah, you were being lazy.”

“I think there’s a difference between passing out due to exhaustion and—”

“Semantics,” he said, flipping his mane prettily. “All that matters is that my story will finally be told, and this is my moment to shine. If you ruin this for me, I will never forgive you until tomorrow.”

“I’ll do my best,” I promised him.

“Good. Now go fold that piece of paper on the table over there into the shape of a horn and attach it to a string around my neck so it sits atop my head.”

“Where the hell am I supposed to get a piece of—”

He turned slowly to look at me.

I gulped and moved as quickly as possible.

“Everyone,” Gary called out while I found a blank scrap of paper and began to fold it. “Yoo-hoo, everyone! Yes, that’s right. Look at me. Look riiiiight at me. Thank you. Now that I have your attention, I would like to say thank you for coming to the Camp HaveHeart debut performance of the tragic story that is my life. I ask that no one speak during the production unless it is to praise me profusely or to cry at the beauty that is myself. If you decide to throw flowers at me at the end, I will allow it. And please remember that while there are others involved in the story, played ably by Tiggy and somewhat less ably by Sam—”

“Hey!”

“—your focus should be on me. But given the gravitas with which I carry myself, I doubt you’ll have much issue with that!” He chuckled heartily. No one else did. “Anyway, hold your rapturous applause until the end, and I will be signing autographs for four minutes afterward. If you come to me at minute five, Tiggy will kill you.”

Tiggy grinned. “Kill you so hard.”

“Now, as soon as Sam finishes the one simple task I gave him at which he seems to be failing spectacularly, we will begin the story known as Gary’s Requiem: A Story of Heartbreak, Redemption, and Being Fabulous. Music and lyrics by Gary. Playbook by Gary. Costume design by Gary.”

Music and lyrics, Ryan mouthed to no one in particular.

“Got it!” I crowed. “One fake horn attached to a string, just like you asked.”

“Hmm,” Gary said, inspecting my work. “And what string is this?”

“It’s my dad’s hair,” I admitted.

“I support the arts,” Dad said.

Gary blushed but tried to act like he wasn’t affected. “Right. Glad you could do the minimal amount of work required. Congratulations, Sam.”

I rolled my eyes as I slid it on his head and tied the hair underneath his chin.

“How do I look?” he whispered.

“Completely stupid,” I whispered back as I kissed him on the cheek. “Break a leg, you dick.”

“Quiet please,” Kevin said, sounding completely enraptured. “If we could please have quiet! My beloved is ready to begin. If you have a summoning crystal, we ask that you turn it off so as to not disrupt the show. And please, no drawing pictures of the performance. We’ll have signed programs at the end for sale at an exorbitant price that you will purchase to fund Gary’s scarf collection, because his mane is precious and must be protected at all cost.”

And then Gary took center stage.

(Which was just the middle of the tent in the dirt, so.)