Chapter Five
Nathan
“Anyway, I need a shower. So…”
If that wasn’t my cue to leave, I wasn’t sure what was. Humiliation burned into my stomach as I watched Rich walk away into the bathroom without even a single glance backwards. I knew I was never going to be the love of his life, I wasn’t an idiot, but to see that I was so easily discarded didn’t feel good. I certainly didn’t feel special and worthwhile today!
I moved myself into a sitting position, and rubbed the leftover sleep from my eyes. I didn’t want the disappointment to crush me. I wasn’t prepared for the best night I had in a very long time to just be another thing to add on to the long, ever-growing list of awful things in my life, but it threatened to do so all the same. It was hard to see it with the same magic anymore.
As I put my clothing back on in a hurry, I took a quick second to finally glance around the room which contained all my secrets. The faded magnolia wallpaper wasn’t quite as nice as the stuff I noticed in the grand reception area, and the carpet had areas that were a little threadbare. The bed sheets had a strange floral pattern running across it. All in all, it wasn’t totally as glamorous as it probably should’ve been.
Not that it was my concern anymore.
Just as my hand reached out to grab onto the doorknob, to take me away from the thick, tense air, something stopped me. Last night had been fun, and I didn’t want to diminish that just because today was awkward. Maybe it was crazy, but I wanted Rich to have a way to contact me… just in case. It seemed that I wasn’t totally ready to give up on the fantasy just yet.
I grabbed a pen and a bit of paper, and I scrawled my number down before I could think better of it. Then I raced out into the hallway, where I could finally breathe freely again.
I took the elevator back down to the bottom floor because it was the only way I knew how to get out, and as I did I kept my eyes focused on the bright red flooring the entire time. I didn’t want the two businessmen tapping furiously away on their cell phones to know what was going on inside my head. The flickering images of Rich grabbing onto my face, kissing me, controlling me with his mouth were there. I couldn’t shake them, however hard I tried. It felt so good to have him with me in that way, to enjoy him in a purely physical manner, to fully immerse myself in the moment.
This bit sucked a little, but I would get past it.
I was strong enough to survive.
My brisk steps took me to where the ice-cold air hit me hard in the face. It blew away the cobwebs in my mind and helped my eyes to open much wider, so I kept on going.
Once I was near enough away to be certain that there was no chance of being overheard, I yanked my cell phone from my pocket and dialed the number of the only person I wanted to discuss this with.
Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…
Michelle was never an early bird, expecting her to answer her phone at the ridiculous hour of eight AM was a big ask, but I had to keep on trying before I forced myself into work. I hoped she’d sense I’d need her.
“Hello?”
Her groggy voice made me grin, I could just picture her lying in her oversized bed with her blonde hair matted and stuck to the sides of her head. Gone would be the effortless looking beauty that she’d spent so long to achieve the night before. I always thought that she looked better when she wasn’t all made up, but that was just my opinion.
“Hey, Michelle, how are you feeling today?”
“Urgh, I don’t know. A little bit fuzzy headed, but it was totally worth it. Morton were incredible.”
“Yeah, they were great.” I smirked to myself, probably looking a little bit crazed to all the people wandering past. “Well, what I saw of the set anyway. It was a good night. I’m glad you forced me out the house.”
“I knew you’d get past your… oh, wait!” She sounded more alert now, like something had hit her hard. “You met someone, didn’t you?”
“Uhm, yeah I did.”
“So? Don’t leave me hanging. Tell me all about your mystery man. Where did you even meet him? At the bar? Ooh, was it the hot brunette?” She burst off quick questions to me, like rapid machine gun fire, without giving me a chance to answer any of them.
I glanced left and right while she spoke, waiting for a break in the never-ending traffic on the large road outside my apartment block, and as soon as I got my chance I ran and spoke all at once. “You’re not going to believe this.” I bit down on my lip, the realization of what I was about to say hitting me all over again. “But it was Rich Gold.”
“What?” She screamed so loud I had to pull the phone away from my ear for a second. I stopped outside the front door to my building, just waiting for her to finish. “You. Are. Lying. There is no way you hooked up with the hottest man on the planet.”
“I thought that you were more into the bass player.”
“Oh, Nick, swoon.” I chuckled at her overdramatic display of affection. “Now that you’re in with the band you can get me an introduction. They’re doing another gig tonight, and there might even be some tickets left over. Should we go? Oh my God, please say yes.”
I was tempted. So much so that I had to key in the code to let myself in, just to give myself a moment to ponder it. It would be incredible to be back in that crowd, staring up at him, drinking Rich in now that I knew more about him. It would make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Plus, the intense eye contact, I needed so much more of that.
“No, no, I don’t think that’s a good idea. It was more of a one-time thing, you know? I wouldn’t want to ruin it by seeming too into him. Plus, I’m pretty sure the guy is a player. I don’t know if I’d like the idea of witnessing him hooking up with someone else.” I clutched onto my chest as an ache set in. “Urgh, even the thought of it hurts. I’m probably better off staying the hell away.”
“Ooh, Nathan Riggs, you dirty boy. Who would’ve ever thought it? You having a one night stand. Still, it was with Rich Gold so who the hell can blame you. What was he like?”
Incredible, phenomenal, he made my body feel like it was opening up for the very first time…
“Hang on.” My face heated up as I spoke as quietly as I could manage. “Let me just lock myself in my apartment, then I can give you all the gory details there since you’re so nosy.”
“Oh, come off it,” Michelle replied in a giddy, excitable tone of voice. “I bet your neighbor, Old Miss Cranky Knickers, could use a thrill in her life. Just shout it out, you and Rich Gold… are you sure it was Rich Gold you hooked up with? It wasn’t just a pretender?”
I slid the key into the lock and turned it, pushing the door open to reveal the sight of my existence, the opposite end of the scale to Rich Gold’s life. My tiny apartment looked even smaller now, messier too. Nothing had the same sheen that it did when Rich was in the room.
“Look, I know he might be the total opposite to me, I know that he’s used to a fast-paced, fun-loving, rock star lifestyle with cash to flash and parties around every corner whereas I’m depressingly normal…”
“You aren’t that normal, you just work an ordinary job, and have a casual drink on a Friday night like every other office worker.”
“Yes, but it was definitely him. I went to the bathroom as soon as I left you, and a woman followed me in there…”
“A woman?”
“Yes, Jenny I think she said her name was, someone to do with the band. Anyway, she said that Rich had spotted me in the crowd and he wanted me to go backstage.”
“So, did you? Without me?” My friend sounded put out, and now that I was thinking more clearly, I couldn’t really blame her. I probably would’ve felt the same way had the roles been reversed.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know what was going on. I just went along with it in the hope that it’d all become clear and by the time it did… well, as it turned out, I was being swept off my feet.”
“So, what was it like backstage? Was it like a massive orgy? Were there drugs being passed around? Was it wild?”
“Uhm… I don’t know about that. It was actually kind of tame.” Michelle would be disappointed by that, but I wasn’t. The normalness of the situation had helped me to relax just a little bit. “There were drinks, but that was about it. Then… well, Rich took me back to his hotel room.”
“What was he like in bed?” Straight down to business, of course.
“Awesome.” I touched my cheek to feel the beaming smile that had spread across my cheeks. Things were complex now, the morning after, but it had still been incredible. “Like, beyond amazing.”
“Did he have a big dick?”
I couldn’t help but giggle at her blunt terminology. “Yes, and he knew how to use it too. It was an experience like no other.”
“So why don’t you want to repeat it?”
The next words got stuck in my throat for a moment. I didn’t quite know how to respond to that. Of course I wanted to, it just didn’t seem like the best plan. “Because he’s Rich Gold, lead singer in Morton. I’m sure I’m just another notch on his bed post. It definitely didn’t mean as much to him as it did me.”
“All because of me…” Michelle continued in a dreamy tone of voice, clearly ignoring my morose mood. “If I hadn’t forced you out, if I didn’t drag you to the front by the stage, you would never have such an awesome story to tell.”
“Yeah.” I gulped noisily. “Story, sure.”
“Did you see him looking at you? I just can’t quite work out how I managed to miss all of this.”
“I did. He touched my hand too.” My voice was only a whisper now. That moment would be etched into my brain for the rest of my life. It would go down in the history of incredible things to happen to the very boring Nathan Riggs.
“It’s like the most romantic love story ever… or maybe lust story. Either way, you’re one lucky son of a bitch.”
Yeah, and didn’t I know it?