THIRTEEN

 

By the time I got home from Brooke’s on Saturday, Nick’s family was gone. He’d left a message with my mom early Saturday morning saying that his family was leaving to go visit his sister. I was happy that his dad had come around. But I was bummed about not seeing him.

I spent most of Saturday laying around. Brooke had kept us up way too late, talking our ears off about the gross details of her love life. I could’ve gone my entire life without hearing any of it and be completely happy. It was kind of nice though. I hadn’t had a girl’s night since the last time I’d spent the night with Ava. And even though I didn’t fully trust Brooke and the girls yet, they were fun. And nicer than I thought they’d be.

On Sunday, Mom and I went grocery shopping for the week. She was still sticking to her dieting meals, so it looked like it was pasta and frozen lasagna for Pres and me. I never thought I’d miss quinoa and kale, but I did.

Finally, Sunday night I got a call from Nick.

The sound of his voice on the line caused a ripple of excitement to pulse through my body.

“How did it go at Stacey’s?” I asked, lying on my bed, the phone pressed to my ear.

“It was…well, awkward, actually.”

“Oh, really?” My heart lurched. “I’m sorry.”

“It was all right. I mean, I could tell my dad was trying,” he said. “I guess that’s all we can ask for.”

“True.” I thought about my own parents. Were they trying? It seemed like they were letting their marriage fall apart in this lifetime. I sort of envied Nick right now. At least his family was together, attempting to work through their issues.

“How was girl’s night? Are you a huge Buffy fan now?”

I laughed. “She was pretty bad ass.”

“Uh oh. Should I be scared?”

“That depends. Are you a vampire?”

“If I was, I would’ve sucked your blood by now.” He laughed.

I started to join him when I stopped abruptly. Wait. What did he mean by that? Was it a joke or was it something deeper?

It seemed that things were moving forward with us. It seemed like he liked me. But was I only seeing what I wanted to?

He hadn’t asked me to homecoming yet. He hadn’t even really made a move other than a couple kisses. According to Brooke, she’d slept with all the guys in our group and the way she acted about Nick made me think he might be one of them. If he was into me, wouldn’t he have tried something more? Wouldn’t he want to take me to the dance?

“Remy?” Nick’s voice cut into my thoughts.

“Yeah?”

“Thought I lost you.”

“Oh. No.” I forced a laugh, but it came out nervous and stilted. “I’m here.”

“Don’t worry. I’m not really a vampire. Your neck is safe.”

The words were supposed to be funny, but my chest tightened.

“What if I don’t want it to be safe?” I asked.

“Huh?”

Yeah, that was a little weird.

“When I was at Brooke’s, the girls were talking about homecoming…” I let the words linger, hoping he’d pick up on my unspoken question. When he didn’t respond for a few seconds, I took a deep breath. “Brooke is going with Derek, and Katie and Melody have dates too. They’re renting a limo.” I stopped talking, praying he took the hint.

Oh, please don’t make me say anymore.

“Remy, do you want to go to homecoming?” It didn’t sound like a proposal. It sounded like he was trying to gauge why I brought this up.

“Are you asking me?”

“That depends.”

“On what?”

“If you say yes or not.”

I laughed. “Brooke said you don’t like dances.”

“I don’t,” he said, and my heart dipped. “But I like you.”

My face warmed, my mouth drying out. “You do?”

“Is that a real question?”

I bit my lip.

“I like you a lot,” he reiterated. “And if going to homecoming means seeing you in a sexy dress and holding you while we dance, then I’m in.”

My insides trembled. “Me too.”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes.” I smiled.

***

 

“Nick’s going to die when he sees you in this dress!” Brooke squealed, fluffing my hair, which was already fluffier than I liked. Brooke had sprayed so much hairspray in my hair I worried I’d never be able to brush through it again.

Glancing down, I cringed. My 2018 self wouldn’t be caught dead in this shiny pink dress with the puffy sleeves. But apparently it was all the rage in 1993. Brooke, Melody and Katie all had a different variation of it. Basically, we were all wearing the same dress in different colors. If Ava and I saw a group going to homecoming like this, we’d probably snap a pic and caption it #twinning.

Brooke shoved a tube of lip-gloss in my hand. “Put this on. The boys should be here any minute.”

As I obediently slathered some on, Melody and Katie squealed and jumped up and down.

“Tonight’s gonna be hella tight!” Melody said.

“Totally!” Katie agreed.

I assumed “hella tight” was the equivalent of “lit.”

“Guys are here!” Brooke hollered, after peering out the window.

My stomach fluttered as we all filed out of Brooke’s room and headed down the hallway. Smoothing down my dress, I prayed Brooke was right about Nick liking it. When I fantasized about going to prom with him, it was always in some cute, flirty cocktail dress with my hair sleek and my makeup on point. Not in a bright pink, loud dress with over-hair sprayed hair and bright shimmery lips and eyes.

We rounded the corner, and my stomach rolled. Was it too late to back out? My hands filled with sweat, and I wiped them on my dress.

Nick came into view, standing with his buddies. He wore a black tux and held a pink corsage in his hand. I guess the guy’s style hadn’t changed much over the years.

Brooke, Melody and Katie raced to their dates, and I stepped up to Nick, my heart hammering loudly in my ears. He looked me up and down, his eyes widening.

“You look amazing,” he murmured, taking me in his arms.

My pulse quickened. I melted into him.

Drawing back, he held out the corsage. After wrapping it around my wrist, Brooke’s Mom called us over for pictures. We took so many my cheeks hurt from smiling. And the worst part was that I had no idea if they were any good since I had to wait for her to have them developed. So bizarre.

Finally, the limo arrived and we headed toward the school.

It was surreal pulling into the school parking lot in a limo with Brooke and Nick, and the entire popular crowd. Last year I hadn’t even gone to homecoming. Ava and I had hung out at my house watching movies and gorging out on popcorn and candy. At the memory I felt a twinge of something – regret, longing, sadness.

Nick reached over, his fingers threading through mine, and all thoughts of Ava flew out the window.  When I glanced over at him, he winked, and my insides turned to jelly.

I agreed with Melody. Tonight’s gonna be hella tight.

The gymnasium was decorated with neon crepe paper, balloons and sparkly signs. Nineties music blasted from the large speakers at the front of the room. A disco ball emitted twinkling lights all over the room.

Nick’s fingers were still woven around mine, and I held tightly to them. All eyes were on our group as we walked in. I stepped closer to Nick, wishing I could disappear behind him. Our sides meshed together. He must’ve sensed my uneasiness, because his arm looped around my middle. We stopped walking, and I stared around the room. Behind me, I could hear Brooke and the others talking, but couldn’t make out what they said. Across the room I spotted Ava, and my chest tightened the way it always did when I saw her. She was standing near the wall with a group of girls from the choir. I was surprised she was here at all. Dances weren’t really her thing.

“What should we do first?” Nick asked, drawing my attention back to him. “Pictures? Dancing?”

I opened my mouth to answer when Brooke appeared next to Nick. Her hand landed on his shoulder. I had a funny feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I wasn’t sure why. “Hey, guys, let’s go grab some punch.” She winked. “Derek added a little something to it.”

My body heated up. I’d never been much of a partier. Plus, I’d been looking forward to this night with Nick for so long, I didn’t want to spend it drunk.

Nick’s gaze met mine. I tried to force my lips into a smile, but I could feel them trembling like they do when I’m nervous. Great.

“C’mon.” She tugged on Nick’s arm in a playful, almost flirty, definitely intimate way. “If we don’t get some now, we won’t get any.”

“It’s okay.” Nick waved her away, smiling at me. “I think we’re just gonna go dance.”

I sighed with relief.

But it didn’t stop Brooke. She drew even closer to Nick, her arm completely slung around him. What was happening?

“Seriously, Nick? You never turn down booze.” Her gaze flickered to me, her lips curling downward. “Oh, I see. Well, don’t worry. If little Miss-Goodie-Two-Shoes doesn’t want any, that’s okay. I’ll get you a cup, Nick, and bring it you.” She swiftly touched his face and stepped back. “Have fun, you two.” After blowing us a kiss, she sauntered toward the punch bowl.

“What was that about?” My stomach soured. It was like Brooke had flipped a switch. She’d gone from being so nice and encouraging about my relationship with Nick to acting like I was stealing her boyfriend.

Was I?

I still wasn’t entirely clear on their history.

Nick shook his head. “Just Brooke being Brooke.” Grabbing my hand, he pulled me toward the dance floor. “Forget about it.”

After weaving our way through several dancing couples, we reached the center of the dance floor. The song switched to a slower one. Nick’s arms slipped around me. I hooked mine around his neck.

He smelled different tonight – like spicy cologne – and it made my head spin.

His fingertips played with my spine. Tingles shot up my back and neck. We swayed back and forth to the music, our chest pressed and heartbeats mingling. For a few seconds I lost myself. But then I spotted Brooke watching us as she stood near the punch bowl, holding a plastic cup. Her eyes were narrowed, her lips pursed. I swallowed hard.

“Nick?”

“Hmm?”

“Did you and Brooke used to date?”

His eyes grew serious. “No. Why?”

I shook my head. “Just curious.” I nestled into him, hoping to move on from my dumb question. I finally got my wish – homecoming with Nick. I was in his arms on the dancefloor at my school, for god sakes. And I was asking him about another girl. I was an idiot.

“Hey.” His thumb tucked under my chin, gently lifting it. Our eyes met. “I’ve never been interested in Brooke. Nothing’s ever happened between us. We’re just friends. I promise.”

“Sorry. She was acting so flirty and stuff.” Oh, man, I was making it worse.

“That’s how she is,” he said. “I don’t even notice it, because I’m too busy noticing you.” My mouth dried out. “You’re the prettiest girl in this room.” He tilted his face lower, our lips lining up. Hot breath skated over my mouth. Warm lips covered mine. I closed my eyes, responding to his kiss. His fingers splayed across my back. My knees buckled, and I held tightly to the back of his neck.

The song ended, and he pulled back.

A fast beat filled the room, and everyone around us started gyrating to the music. When I joined in, I realized that my moves were a little different than the others, but not much. Some people were dancing the way I’d seen in nineties movies, but most students were moving to the beat, the same way we did in 2018.

As we danced, Nick’s words played over and over in my head.

You’re the prettiest girl in this room.

Did he really think that?

Standing taller, I felt more confident than ever before. Nick Sinclair thought I was the prettiest girl in the room. Me, Remy Elliott. Smiling, my cheeks reddened.

“Hey, guys!” Brooke sidled up to Nick, swaying demonstratively to the music. “Here’s your drink.” She went to hand it to Nick, but at the same moment was bumped by Katie who came bounding over. The drink tipped, spilling all over the front of Nick’s shirt. “Oh, my god. I’m so sorry.” Reaching out, she batted at the bright red liquid, as if her hand was a washcloth.

Katie took the cup from Brooke and raced off, muttering something about getting a towel.

“It’s okay.” Nick pushed her hand away. “I got it.”

“I’m just trying to help.” She stuck out her bottom lip in a pout. “C’mon.” She grabbed him by the arm. “Let’s go get you cleaned up.”

“Brooke,” he spoke firmly. “I don’t need any more help from you.” Shaking his arm out of her grasp, he stepped toward me, reaching for my hand.

“What is your problem?” Brooke’s lips trembled slightly.

Derek walked up, his brows furrowed. His gaze traveled between us and Brooke. “What’s going on?”

Brooke peered up at him with big eyes and a shaky bottom lip. “Nothing,” she answered pitifully. “I accidentally spilled on Nick, and now he’s upset with me, I guess. It was an accident.”

Oh, please.

“C’mon, man, it was an accident. Why you trippin’?” Derek asked.

“I’m not.” Nick shook his head.

Derek put his arm around Brooke. She sniffed. “Then why is she in tears, bro?”

“I don’t know, man. She’s been acting weird.” Nick threaded his fingers through mine, and stepped around Derek and Brooke. “Keep her away from me, okay?”

My gaze caught Brooke’s as we passed her, and she let out an incredulous laugh. “Oh, don’t look so smug,” she said. “You know you’re just his charity case. Always have been.”

“Seriously, Brooke.” Nick put out a hand. “Take a chill pill.” He gave his friend a pleading look. “Derek.”

But Derek looked as confused as the rest of us.

Katie scurried back, her date trailing her, and she handed Nick a small towel. He half-heartedly wiped away the excess punch dripping from his shirt. But, really, at this point, it looked pretty much dry.

Melody and her date joined us.

Brooke smirked. Oh, yep. There she was. The Brooke I’d always known. Nice to see you again. Not.

My insides twisted. Things were about to get ugly. I could tell.

“What?” She said in a sickeningly sweet voice. “Are you afraid of Remy finding out the truth?”

“Remy.” Nick tugged on my hand. I wanted to follow him. I really did. But now she’d peeked my curiosity. I stayed put.

“What truth?” I asked.

“You never thought it was odd the way you magically made it on the cheer squad when everyone knows you botched the tryouts?” Brooke’s smile deepened. She was relishing this. Melody and Katie hung on every word. No one stepped up to defend me. I guess I wasn’t surprised.

I actually didn’t know I’d botched tryouts, but it made sense. I certainly hadn’t done well at any of the games. When I glanced at Nick, the look on his face made me wish I’d never asked the question. His face was drawn, his lips curling downward. It took all my willpower not to run out of the gymnasium and never come back. But it was too late now. I’d pulled on that thread. Now it was unraveling no matter what I did.

“Nick was the reason you made it,” she said simply.

I thought of all the cryptic things he’d said about a sprained ankle and us becoming friends. I looked at him. “Cause of my sprained ankle?”

Brooke cackled. “That damn sprained ankle. If only you would’ve fallen in the backyard and not the front, Nick never would’ve even seen you. It’s like you wanted him to. It’s like you were hoping he’d come rescue you.”

Why would I have fallen in my front yard? What was I doing? It’s not like I played a sport. Oh. Right. “I was practicing for cheer tryouts,” I said slowly, piecing it together.

“Yeah, and Nick felt bad for you. Bad that you’d hurt yourself. Bad that you wanted to make it on the team so bad that you were constantly practicing. Bad that you sprained your stupid ankle because you working so hard.” She kept making air quotes around words. Some made sense, like “working hard”. Okay, I got that one. She didn’t think I’d been working hard. Whatever. But she’d also made them around “sprained ankle” and from what I understood I’d actually sprained my ankle. “He begged me to let you on the team.”

“That’s enough, Brooke,” Nick snapped. “C’mon, Remy.” There was desperation in his tone. “You don’t have to listen to this.”

“It’s okay.” I pulled my hand out of his. There was one thing that didn’t make sense. “What I don’t get is why you did it, Brooke? Why would you let me on the team just because Nick asked you? Clearly, you don’t really like me.”

Now she was the one looking uncomfortable. Her gaze flickered to Nick. Understanding hit me.

“But you like Nick,” I said.

Derek frowned. Melody and Katie gasped.

If I wasn’t so horrified I would’ve laughed. It was freakin’ comical. Except it wasn’t. It was my life.

Brooke crossed her arms over her chest. “Who would’ve thought he actually would fall for you?” Her gaze bounced to him. “You were supposed to fall for me! I’m the one who made the sacrifice. I put her on the team because you asked me to. I befriended her because you asked me to. And what did I get?” She was practically yelling now. “Nothing. That’s right. Nothing.”

Brooke was seriously going postal. I really wished I was with Ava. She would’ve died. When I glanced up, I saw that we’d drawn a crowd. All dancing had ceased. Everyone was watching us. And Ava was here. She was staring on with narrowed eyes. They were directed at me. The way she looked at me was like she thought I was getting what I deserved. Maybe I was.

I realized that as crazy as Brooke was acting, it was me who was getting dissed in front of the entire student body. For a few weeks, I’d been part of the popular crowd. Now it had been announced to the whole school that it was all an act. I was nothing more than a charity case.

Totally tubular. Wasn’t that a nineties phrase? Whatever.

 Enough with the sarcasm. It all sucked.

“I’m outta here.” Derek backed away from Brooke. “I don’t need this shit. That chick is seriously buggin’.”

“Yeah, I’m out too.” I stepped away, my head spinning. I was over it.

All of it.

“Remy.” Nick reached for me.

Pressing my lips together, I pivoted and hurried toward the doors. I needed some air. I needed a minute to think. I needed to get the hell out here.

“Wait.” He followed me, his dress shoes clicking on the slick floor.

Cold air stole my breath when I stepped outside. I breathed it in, welcoming it into my lungs. Hot tears stung my eyes. A few hours ago, I felt like all my dreams were coming true. Now everything was falling apart.

I missed Ava.

I missed my dad.

I missed my life. My real life.

I’d tricked myself into thinking this was real, but it wasn’t. That was painfully clear now.

“Remy.” Nick came up behind me. “Please talk to me.”

I stared at the dark night sky for a minute, gulping in the cool air. Twirling around, I faced Nick. His blue eyes pierced right through me, and my heart pinched. I only needed to know one thing. “Is it true? What Brooke said?”

Wearing a frown, he nodded. “But I was just trying to help. You were working so hard. I saw you every day out in your yard practicing. You wanted to make the team so badly.  And after you sprained your ankle, and I got to know you, I started to really like you…” He stepped closer to me, searching my face. “I didn’t force her to put you on the team. I only told her to go easy on you. I said you were cool, and she should give you a shot.”

Truth is, it was sweet. And I honestly wasn’t mad at him.

But in that moment one thing was crystal clear: It would never work out between us.

Our relationship was built on lies – mine and his.

And it was time to end it.