FIFTEEN

 

The muffled sound of my alarm beeping woke me up. After tearing off my headphones and discarding them beside me, I rolled over and batted my arm in the vicinity of my alarm clock. Only my hand couldn’t find it. Instead, it connected with something sleek and narrow. Something familiar. My pulse spiked, my eyelids flipping open.

My cell!

After silencing it, I sat straight up in bed, staring around. My computer desk sat in the corner, my laptop bag on the ground nearby. My closet door was open, and I saw the edge of my favorite sweater and a couple pairs of my converse sitting on the ground. Sliding off my bed, I walked toward my dresser. Reaching up, I touched my hair, taking in the pink-tipped strands.

Everything was back to normal.

I blew out a breath.

It worked. The Discman sent me back home.

Home.

I heard Preston and Mom talking down the hall. Then there was a knock on my door.

“Remy,” Mom’s voice floated into the room.

Taking two large steps, I made it to the door and flung it open. Mom stood in front of me wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt that said #momlife. Her hair was cut in its usual angled lob, and it hung sleekly around her face. In her hand she held some kind of green juice.

“Here.” She thrust the cup toward me. “You’ve gotta try this kale smoothie I made. It’s delish and super good for you. I made one for Kelly before our run this morning, and she was raving about it.”

“Kelly’s here?” I glanced down the hall.

“No. She had to leave.” Mom waved away the questions. “Meetings all day, you know?”

“Mom, where are my shoes?” Preston yelled from his room.

Mom pushed the drink into my hand. “Take this. I gotta go deal with your brother.”

Before she could leave, I pulled her into a hug. “Oh, I missed you,” I muttered into her shoulder.

Mom drew back, eyebrows knitting together. “You okay?”

“Great.” Never better. Everything was right in my world again.

I took the green drink and headed back into my room. After taking a sip (mom’s right, it wasn’t that bad), I set it on my dresser. Then I snatched up my phone and unlocked it.

Holy text messages.

I had like hundreds, mostly from Ava. I didn’t have time to go through them all, but I read the last one.

Ava: I’ve come up with 10 ways to get revenge on Ian. We’ll discuss when I pick u up from school.

I laughed, and texted back. That’s right. This week it was her turn to drive us.

Me: C U soon.

Funny I didn’t even care about Ian anymore. What he did to me felt like a lifetime ago. And it’s not like I was in love with him or anything. I might be in love though….just with someone else. I hurried to the window and peered down at Nick’s house. His car sat in the driveway, but the house was quiet. My heart pinched.

Ian could kiss a million girls now, and I wouldn’t care. But it would legit kill me if I had to see Nick making out with anyone else.

As I stood at the window, Nick walked out the front door. I stiffened. He wore a pair of jeans and a tight t-shirt. I imagined the way his muscles felt underneath my palms. When he lifted his arm to run a hand through his tousled hair, I conjured up the memory of his hands on my face, my skin. My entire body went hot. He got into his car without even looking in my direction.

But why would he?

He barely knew me.

We were practically strangers in this lifetime.

Stepping away from the window, I ached with longing. My entire being missed him.

Did I make a mistake?

I blew out a breath. No, it wasn’t a mistake. I did the right thing. 2018 was where I belonged. I quickly got ready. It felt so good to wear my favorite t-shirt and ripped jeans. And I couldn’t tell you how awesome it was to not put any hairspray on my hair. I couldn’t stop running my fingers through the silky strands, as I headed downstairs.

There was a knock on the door, and my heart arrested.

Nick.

From the front window, I spotted Ava’s car parked along the curb. I shook my head. Nope. Not Nick. Ava.

“Oh, don’t forget, Dad’s facetiming around six tonight!” Mom called out.

Yes, I did the right thing by coming back.

I lost Nick, but I gained everything else.

When I opened the door, Ava stood on the front porch glaring at me. Had I accidentally brought back the nineties Ava?

“Don’t ever go that long without texting me, girl. I was legit worried about you.”

Lunging forward, I wrapped my arms around her. It felt so good to hug Ava.

My Ava.

“Oh, god, it’s worse than I thought,” she said, peeling me off.

“No, I’m fine,” I assured her as we walked toward her car.

“Sure you are,” Ava said sarcastically. “Obvs, the best revenge would be to kiss another guy. You know, an eye for an eye and all that,” Ava said as she drove down my street. “But I have nine other ones too.” She rattled them off using the fingers on her free hand. “Keying his car, slashing his tires, gluing his locker shut. Ooh, or spreading a rumor that he has herpes. You know, in his mouth. That would totally freak out Melissa.” She laughed in an evil way. “And then everyone will think she has it.”

“I feel like that one wouldn’t be so great for my rep either,” I pointed out.

Ava shook her head. “Oh. Yeah. Right. Well, I have plenty more.”

“It’s okay,” I said dismissively. “I don’t want to get revenge. I’m actually kind of over it.”

Ava threw me a sidelong glance. “You do seem really zen and shit. Are you on something?”

I laughed, thinking how in 1993 Ava had asked me the same thing. “No. I guess this whole thing made me realize I’m not that into Ian.”

“Well, he is a loser.”

“Agreed.” I laughed, so happy to have my friend back.

“And he totally doesn’t deserve you,” Ava said after we parked in the school lot.

“You’re right,” I responded, after stepping out of the car. “I’m done dating losers. I’m raising my standards.”

“That a girl.” She slapped my back playfully as we walked onto campus.

When we entered the hallway, students flew past us, most of them staring down at their phones. I smiled. This was more like it. Not a payphone, neon scrunchie, or babydoll dress in sight.

“Got anyone in mind?” Ava asked.

That’s when I spotted Nick. He stood with his friends at the other end of the hallway. “Yeah, I do, actually.”

Ava followed my gaze. “So, you’re back on Nick Sinclair, huh?”

“Uh-huh.” Was I ever off of him? I couldn’t think of a time when I wasn’t crushing on him. “He’s the whole package. And he’s definitely not a jerk like Ian. He’s sweet, kind…” My lips buzzed. An involuntary smile broke out on my face. “Good kisser.” Did I say that out loud?

“Wait. Did something happen between you two?” Ava’s eyes bugged out.

A lot happened between us, but I was the only one how knew it. And there was no way I was telling Ava about traveling back to the nineties. I was sure she’d respond the same way “nineties Nick” did when I told him about here. She’d think I was crazy. So, I snorted. “As if.”

Ava wrinkled her nose. “As if? Did you watch Clueless over the weekend or something?”

I laughed. “Yeah. Something like that.”

The bell rang.

Ava grabbed my arm. “C’mon, let’s get to the choir room.”

Smiling, I stepped forward with her.

 

***

 

My first couple of classes went by quickly, but math dragged on at a snail’s pace. I spent most of it doodling Nick’s name on a piece of paper and daydreaming about our first kiss.

His soft lips.

His strong hands.

The way his tongue did that swirly thing against mine.

When the bell rang I left the classroom in a daze, grateful it was lunchtime. Not only was I seriously hangry (that smoothie did not fill me up for breakfast), but I was dying to see Nick again. With my head spinning, I followed the crowds of students into the cafeteria and made a beeline for my table. Once I reached it, I plunked down right next to Nick.

And that’s when it hit me.

This wasn’t 1993.

And this wasn’t my table.

Holding my breath, I slid away from Nick slowly, hoping no one had detected my error yet. The bench creaked. Nick turned, his eyebrows lifting at the sight of me. Crap.

“What are you doing here?” Brooke walked up, staring down her nose at me.

Great question. What was I doing there? “Um…sorry. I guess I went to the wrong…table,” I muttered.

“Uh…I went to the wrong table,” Brooke repeated me in a dumbed-down voice.

I wanted to punch her in the face. But instead, I took a deep breath and stood up. “Sorry,” I muttered again, my face flaming.

“Remy?” Nick’s voice flooded through me.

I spun. He was walking toward me. My heart galloped under my ribcage. God, he was so hot. So familiar. So unattainable. So hard to look at right now.

“You okay?” he asked, concern in his eyes.

My mouth dried out. I swallowed. “Yeah.”

“You sure?”

I nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

“Babe, there you are,” Ian’s arms snaked around my middle from behind.

“Don’t touch me.” I shoved his hands off. I may not have been upset with him this morning, but now that he was here, putting his hands on me, I was pissed. How dare he act like we were still together. Had he forgotten what he’d done? It may have been weeks ago for me, but it had only been two days for him.

“C’mon, don’t be like that.” He frowned, his eyes all droopy like a wounded puppy dog.

Oh, puhlease.

“You need to leave me alone,” I said firmly.

“Hear me out, babe.”

“There’s nothing to hear. I’ve seen all I need to.”

“Let me explain. It wasn’t what it looked like.”

I laughed bitterly. “Do you guys really think that line’ll work. It was exactly what it looked like.”

“Babe.”

I held up my hand. “Stop calling me that. I’m not your babe. I’m not your anything. We’re done.” When I turned, he grabbed my arm.

“Rem,”

“Let go.” I shook my arm, but he held tighter. “Ian,” I said through gritted teeth.

“Man, I think she’s made it clear you need to leave,” Nick spoke firmly.

“This has nothing to do with you, Nick,” Ian said in an irritated tone.

“Let go of her, man.” Nick stepped toward him.

Ian’s gaze shot between the two of us. Then he released my arm. It tingled as the blood flow returned. Muttering a few curses, he stormed off.

I exhaled. When I looked up at Nick, my heart swelled. I wanted so badly to reach out and touch his face. Or better yet, have him wrap his arms around me. But I knew he wouldn’t do that, and honestly, that hurt worse than what had happened with Ian. “Thank you,” I finally said when I found my voice.

“No problem. Guy’s a loser.” He winked. “You’re better off.”

My insides quivered. “Yeah,” I breathed.

“Nick?” Brooke bounced in our direction, her lips pursed. “What are you doing?” She snaked her arm through the crook in his.

My stomach rolled. No. Please don’t tell me they’re together.

“C’mon.” She tugged on him, throwing me a dirty look.

Nodding, he followed her.

I watched, dread sinking into my gut. There was no way I would survive watching the two of them together the rest of the year. Was it too late to transfer schools?

I was too busy noticing you.

You’re the prettiest girl in the room.

A hollow feeling spread through my chest.

Right before he sat down at the table with Brooke, he craned his neck and offered me a brief smile. It was small. Insignificant, really. But to me it meant something. And I held tightly to it as I made my way out to the quad where Ava and my friends were.

“Where have you been?” Ava asked when I plopped down next to her.

“Oh. I ran into Ian.” I purposefully left out the stuff about Nick. I was still trying to process what happened there. And no way was I telling her about accidentally sitting at the popular table. Talk about social suicide.

“Ugh.” Ava frowned. “How’d that go?”

I shrugged. “He was all like, ‘Oh, babe, it wasn’t what it looked like’.”

Ava cringed. “Do guys really think that’ll work?”

“They must,” I said. “But it so doesn’t.”

Ava laughed. “Fail.”

“Major fail.” I laughed with her.

This felt good. Right. And for a moment, the ache of missing Nick faded. Not completely. But enough that I could at least breathe.