TWENTY-ONE

 

It was the week of homecoming proposals. They were all over campus and all over social media. Some were cool and original and others were stupid and cheesy. But they all made me crazy jealous.

I’d never been asked to homecoming.

Well, not in 2018, anyway.

Before Ian cheated on me, I figured I’d go with him this year. I even imagined how he’d ask me. Maybe play a portion of my favorite song or coordinate a flash mob at lunch. He did neither of those things.

Instead, he stood in the parking space next to the one Ava parked at this morning holding a sign that read: Remy, I like you a latte. Go to homecoming with me. In his other hand he held a white paper cup with what I assumed had a latte inside.

Was he for real right now?

“Oh, no he didn’t,” Ava muttered under her breath as she killed the engine.

I slumped down in my seat, hoping to avoid the entire thing.

One thing I’ll say about Ian – he didn’t know how to take a hint.

“Remy?” He rapped on the window.

When I looked up through my hair that had fallen over my forehead, he held the sign up and smiled. Did he really think I would like this? I mean, yeah, a few months ago I probably would’ve thought it was the cutest thing ever. But a lot had happened in the past few months. And now I found it sickening.

Ava shook her head. “What an idiot.”

“Totes,” I joked back. Then I shoved open the door almost causing Ian to spill the coffee. But thankfully he didn’t, because I needed it. Snatching it out of his hand, I smiled and said, “Thanks so much.” After sidestepping him, I stopped and peered over my shoulder. “Oh, and the answer’s no.”

“You better mean that.” Ian’s face dropped, a scowl forming. “This is your last chance. I’m not asking again.”

“Fine.” I shrugged.

“I mean it. I’m done, Rem.”

“Thank god.” I blew out a breath.

Shaking his head, he muttered a curse word under his breath and turned away. I felt nothing but relief when he walked off. Let’s hope he really meant it this time.

When I caught up to Ava, she laughed. “Savage, Rem.”

I was about to answer when we were stopped by a second homecoming proposal. But this time it wasn’t for me.

It was for Ava.

Sam stood on the school steps holding a sign that said:

With you and a song, I can’t go wrong.

Say yes to homecoming with me!

On his phone he played the song that Ava and I wrote with his help.

It was the sweetest proposal ever, and this time I didn’t feel any jealousy. Well, not a lot anyway.

Wearing a smile, Ava walked up to meet Sam at the top of the steps. Then she flung her arms around his neck and planted a kiss right on his mouth.

So, I guess that was a yes.

We all screamed and cheered, until the kiss went a little long and also the bell rang. Then I tugged on Ava’s arm and pried her off of Sam’s lips.

“Did you see that?” She gushed as we hurried toward the choir room.

“Yep. We all saw.”

“It was epic, right?”

“The proposal or the kiss?” I teased.

“The kiss, obvs.” She winked.

Laughing, I put my arm around her. “You really like him, huh?” She nodded. “I’m happy for you, Aves.” And I truly was.

At least I was in that moment.

It got harder to be happy as the day progressed. I seriously could not go anywhere without hearing about or seeing homecoming proposals. It was getting old fast.

When I came up on one before lunch, I spun around to walk the other direction and walked straight into Nick’s chest.

“Whoa.” He threw his hands up instinctually. A few of his buddies laughed.

Embarrassment burned through me. Whenever I forgot my place, this group had a way of reminding me. “Sorry,” I muttered, brushing hair out of my face.

Nick’s brows furrowed, his eyes doing that crinkly thing that always made me melt. “Hey? You okay?”

“Yeah. Fine.” My gaze flickered to his friends who were watching the exchange with their faces screwed up in confusion.

“Hey, guys, you go ahead. I’ll catch up.” Nick waved his friends on.

They nodded and walked off.

“You sure? You don’t look fine.”

“Wow. Thanks,” I said sarcastically.

He smiled. “You look upset. That’s what I meant.”

God, why was his smile so sexy? Why was he so sexy? And why was it so hot in this hallway?

Blowing out a breath, I ran a hand through my hair. “It’s been a really long day.” I glanced around. “I guess I’m not a fan of homecoming season.”

His lips twitched at the corners. “Dances aren’t your jam, either?”

I laughed lightly. “No, dances are all right.”

“What then?” He put his bent arm up against the wall and leaned toward me.

My breath caught in my throat. “Um…” I couldn’t think with him staring at me like that. “It’s not the dance. It’s the proposals.”

“Oh.” He frowned. “You haven’t been asked?”

It might have been offensive coming from someone else, but his tone was so concerned, so caring. Instead of making me mad, it broke me a little. I bit my lip. “No. I mean, unless you count Ian’s proposal, which I don’t.”

His eyebrows leapt up. “Ian asked you?”

“Yeah. And he gave me a latte, which was actually pretty good.”

“You turned down his proposal, but took the latte?” He shook his head. “Brutal.”

“Whatever. He deserved it.” I sighed. “But I guess the day wasn’t all bad. Sam asked Ava to homecoming, and it was really sweet. He used one of the songs we wrote with him.”

“You write songs?”

“Yeah. Usually with Ava. Sometimes Sam.”

“Nice.” He nodded with appreciation. “Maybe one day I could hear one?”

I blushed. “Maybe.”

The bell rang. Crap. I could not be late for class again. That would be twice today. “I gotta go,” I mumbled, and stepped forward, almost bumping into Nick again. But this time he didn’t throw his arms up like a shield. Instead, they came up around me, his fingers grazing my arms. I shivered.

“Yeah, me too,” he said, stepping backward to let me pass.

I hurried around him, my heart racing and my skin on fire.

“You know he feels sorry for you, right?” Brooke stepped in front of me, blocking my path. “Nick,” she added, as if I didn’t know who she was talking about.

“I’m late for class,” I said, refusing to take the bait. I knew her better than she thought I did.

“He knows you’re going through a tough time, and he knows you have a crush on him.” My cheeks burned. She laughed. “I mean, everyone does.”

Did they really? Was I that obvious?

No, I wouldn’t let her get to me.

“I really have to go.” I sidestepped around her. The hallway was empty. My stomach knotted. I was super late.

“He’s sweet. And he does this, you know? Reaches out to girls he feels sorry for. Why do you think he asked Lacy Thomas to homecoming last year? It wasn’t because he was into her. Trust me.”

That’s right. He had gone to homecoming with Lacy last year. I’d forgotten that. And I’d never even seen them talk afterward. I’m pretty sure he started dating Tawny right after that. She was a senior. They went out for most of last year.

My insides twisted. Was it a pity invite? 

Was he being nice to me for the same reason? Did he feel sorry for me?

I shook my head, moving away from her.

She was messing with me. It was what she did.

Right?

I remembered the night he took me to his old house and told me the story of how he used to be bullied.

Could it be…?

No, I wasn’t getting sucked into this.

Blowing out a breath, I walked faster, wishing that I could somehow outrun Brooke’s words.

 

***

 

Ava had been acting super weird for the past two days. Totally un-Ava-like. Everything was all about Sam and homecoming. I’d never seen her like this. All giddy and lovesick.

That’s why I wasn’t super suspicious when she popped up a few minutes into our lunch period announcing that she and Sam wanted to sing me a song. I thought it was all part of their new love-connection.

Sam reached for his guitar, his ear length hair falling into his face. When he stood up, he nodded toward Ava, offering her a shy smile.

“Ready?” he asked in his low voice.

Her head bobbed up and down in response.

I shifted on the ground until I found a comfortable position, and then listened intently.

The sound of Sam’s guitar filled the quad. No one at our school played like him. It was like he’d been playing his entire life. And I guess he kind of had. Ava said his dad first started teaching him when he was a toddler. I wish my parents had done that for me, but neither of them are musically inclined. Apparently, I’d gotten my musical gene from a great-grandma I’d never met.

A crowd began to gather by the time Ava joined him.

“We live yard-by-yard, side-by-side, and yet it’s been so easy to hide. We’ve gone our separate ways for all our days, but lately we’ve been talkin’, talkin’.”

Ava and Sam separated, and that’s when I saw him.

Nick.

He walked between them, a smile on his face, his eyes twinkling. He wore tight jeans and a grey t-shirt that melded to his muscles in a way that made my knees quiver.

Ava continued to sing, “And now I want to start dancin’, dancin’.”

Nick knelt in front of me, holding a sign that read.

We can dance to all the girlie-pop you want,

If you say yes to homecoming with me.

A buzz like an electrical current ran through my body. Every limb hummed like it was part of the song. My head spun. I was glad I was sitting, I was pretty sure I’d faint. This was the single most romantic thing that had ever happened to me.

It was like all of my fantasies wrapped into one.

Was I dreaming?

I blinked a few times.

Nope.

He was still there.

This was real. Very real. And not nineties real. No, we were in 2018, and Nick Sinclair had asked me to homecoming. And not in some super cheesy “I like you a latte” kind of way.

This was the best, most perfect way.

I looked into Nick’s eyes, my insides going all gooey like melted chocolate chip cookies. The quad was quiet as everyone waited for my response.

I still couldn’t believe this was happening to me. It seemed too good to be true.

If anyone had told me a few months ago that Nick would ask me to homecoming, I wouldn’t have believed them. Then again, it’s not like we ever talked a few months ago. We’d barely said two words to each other in all the years he’d lived next door.

Not until a few weeks ago…

Huh.

Why was that?

Why had Nick suddenly started being nice to me a few weeks ago?

He feels sorry for you.

I froze, icy cold snaking up my spine.

After my conversation with Brooke the other day, I couldn’t stop thinking about Lacey. I even looked her up on Instagram. I scrolled her feed searching for pictures of she and Nick. But there weren’t any. Not even from last homecoming. It’s like she’d erased the entire night.

What had happened that night that was so horrible she didn’t want to remember?

And would it happen to me?

“Remy?” Nick asked, his brows raising in question.

The gentle way he said my name almost made me cave.

Almost.

But not quite.

“What do you say?” He smiled that confident, charming, magnetic smile of his. The one that usually made me swoon.

But I couldn’t let it today. Nick didn’t get it. He didn’t know how much I cared about him. We had this whole history he knew nothing about. And, yeah, maybe he had a weird sense of déjà vu around me, but that was it. He hadn’t experienced all I had. He didn’t know me the way I knew him. And I was certain he was into me the way I was into him.

The way I’d always been into him.

He’d taken pity on me once before, helping me make the cheer squad. Was he doing that again? Was I some weird form of redemption for him? Like some Make-A-Wish gesture, but for nerds who had crushes on popular boys? It was the new thing. Guys making girls wishes come true, and splashing it all over social media for attention.

Although, I hoped Nick’s motives were purer than that. I knew about his past. About being bullied. I knew he had a good heart and that he meant well.

But it wasn’t enough for me.

I was pretty sure I was in love with him.

And I couldn’t go to homecoming with him unless I was sure he really liked me. Right now I wasn’t sure at all. This all felt too convenient. Too staged.

Shaking my head, moisture filled my eyes. “I can’t,” I whispered, scooting away from him.

His smile slipped, his eyes darkening.

My insides twisted until they were so tangled I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to unknot them. It was so painful I struggled to breathe. “I’m so sorry. I can’t go with you.” My eyes blurred. Nick resembled an impressionist painting. I was grateful I no longer had to see the tightness in his face, the hardening of his eyes.

He stared at me a few seconds, disbelief in his eyes. “Are you serious?”

“I’m so sorry,” I said, pretty sure I was about to hurl. “I can’t.”

“But the other day…we talked about homecoming…you said…” His eyebrows drew together.

Ahh, so I was right. He had felt sorry for me.

After staring at me a few more seconds, he stood. Shoulders sagging, he stalked off. I finally released the breath I’d been holding.

“What the hell?” Ava sank down next to me. Sam watched warily from a few feet away. Whispers circled us. I couldn’t make out their words, but I could feel the disbelief in the air. “Did you really say no?”

I nodded, swallowing down the thickness in my throat.

“Why would you do that? I…I… don’t understand.”

“It was a pity invite, Ava.”

“No, it wasn’t,” she insisted. “Nick really likes you.”

My eyes burned. With trembling hands, I scooped up my backpack and stood. “I have to go.”

“Well, hold on.” Ava hoisted herself up.

“I need to be alone,” I said, and then hurried down the hallway. It wasn’t until I was all alone that I allowed the tears to fall.

I knew everyone thought I was crazy. And maybe I was.

But Nick wasn’t just my neighbor or the quarterback or the hottest guy at school to me. Nick was a boy I cared about. Maybe even loved.

And if I was nothing more than a pity invite, it would kill me.

It was one thing to be betrayed by Ian. That I could come back from.

But to be betrayed by Nick was something I wasn’t sure I could survive.