TWENTY

 

There were so many people here.

Hands shaking, I scanned the filled bleachers, silently counting each head. It was futile. There were too many. Our team scored a touchdown, and the crowd screamed and clapped. I doubted anyone was here for the halftime show. Probably didn’t even care about it. Well, except my mom, who stood in the center of the stands holding her phone like she was all set to video us. But she was probably the only person here to watch us. Hopefully everyone else would clear out during halftime, grab a hot dog or nachos or something.

I took a deep breath. Butterflies attacked my stomach, clawing, scratching, and eating through it.

“You’re gonna be great.” Ava tugged on my arm. “You sounded amazeballs during rehearsal.”

I laughed at her word choice.

“I’m serious.”

I nodded, breathing in and out slowly. Halftime was fast approaching. I prayed I wouldn’t hurl. The crowd cheered again. Looking up at the field, I spotted Nick. He high-fived one of his teammates. We hadn’t talked since the day of my epic fail.

A million times I’d thought of messaging him and apologizing, but I was too chicken.

He probably hated me, anyway.

When Nick jogged past the cheerleaders, Brooke squealed his name. He turned toward her and pointed. She smiled broadly and giggled. My stomach twisted.

For not dating, they sure flirted a lot.

“It’s almost time, ladies.” Sam sauntered over, wearing his band uniform, holding his hat and saxophone.

The butterflies resumed their vicious attack. Ava wove her arm through mine, offering me an encouraging squeeze.

Everything was a blur as we made our way out onto the field. I was fuzzy-headed and out of it as if I’d been partying it up. I kind of wish I had. Maybe I would’ve been less nervous if I’d been drunk.

The marching band started playing. Our first song was a group number, thank god. My solo was in the next one. As I sung, my nerves dissipated. I could hear Ava next to me, and it calmed me further. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

Now that I was up here, the butterflies had stilled to a quiet flutter of wings. Nothing like the all-out feeding frenzy from earlier. I could still feel them, but barely.

We made it through the first song, and now it was time for mine. The familiar notes rang out, and I took a deep breath, preparing myself. The lyrics appeared in my mind like words on a screen.

I opened my mouth and allowed the words to pour from my throat. Closing my eyes, I tuned out the world around me, hearing only the music and my own voice. My pitch was on, my tone full and rich. Ava was right. I did sound amazeballs.

When I dared to glance up, the first person I saw was Mom. She had her camera up high as she recorded, and her face was beaming. It boosted my confidence. I sang a little louder.

And that’s when I saw them. Brooke and the rest of the cheerleaders. They were laughing at us. At me. And they were whispering to one another. Brooke’s gaze met mine, her narrowed eyes and pursed lips like a sucker punch to the gut. I knew that look. I’d seen it so many times while we hung out. She thought I was lame. A joke. A loser.

My stomach plummeted, and my voice started to waver. Ava glanced over, nodding subtly, but it was too late. I’d lost my confidence. I felt sick.

Nick was nowhere in sight, but I was sure he thought I was a joke too. Hot tears pricked at the back of my eyes, but I blinked hard and kept singing. If I lost it now it would make everything worse. They were looking for a reason to tease me. I wouldn’t give them one.

 I had wanted this solo so badly. Now all I wanted was for it to be over.

When it finally was, I hung my head and breathed deeply. There were a smattering of claps, but nothing like there were when our team scored. Not that I expected there to be. Most people were chatting or eating or taking a bathroom break. Like I said earlier, no one came for this.

Well, except my mom.

I could hear her clapping and cheering. And as sweet as it was, it only made me feel worse. My mom was my biggest fan.

Awesome.

But then to my right, a loud booming clap rang out. Then a cheer and a whistle. I looked in the direction of it.

Nick stood a few feet in front of us, clapping and cheering. His gaze crashed into mine, and he flashed a thumbs-up. My body flushed, my cheeks heating up. Ava gave me a sidelong glance and smiled. I bit my lip. From over Nick’s shoulder, Brooke frowned and glared hard at me. But I didn’t care anymore.

What she thought wasn’t important.

Nick liked it, and he wasn’t afraid to let everyone know.

Maybe he was the same Nick I’d fallen for in 1993. Maybe there was hope for us yet.

 

***

 

Late that night I got a message.

Nick: Your solo was lit.

I laughed.

Me: Thanks. So was your quarterbacking.

It took a couple minutes for his response.

Nick: Quarterbacking?

Me: Is that not a word?

Nick: Not that I know of.

Me: Okay. Then your playing was lit.

Nick: Thanks.

I was about to send a happy face emoji, but then deleted it.

Me: Hey, I’m sorry about what I said the other day.

Nick: No worries.

Having no idea what else to say, I figured now was a good time to send the happy face emoji.

He sent back a music note emoji followed by a fire emoji.

I sent back the word “Quarterbacking” with a fire emoji after it.

He sent back the laughing face emoji.

It made me smile. In real life. Not in emoji speak.