FIVE

 

This time I was ready when Nick picked me up. I even wore one of those floral dresses with a pair of Mary Janes and a black choker around my neck, so I’d fit in with everyone else. It still felt like I was playing a part in a play or heading to a costume party, but at least I wasn’t freaked out like yesterday. I wish I could say that I was cool with Mom’s aerobics outfit, but that still threw me a little. I wasn’t sure I’d ever get used to that.

“Someone’s feeling better.” Nick smiled, his gaze traveling up and down my body after I opened the door.

My insides went all gooey. “Yeah, I am.” I really, really am.

“Here’s the paper again.” He held it out.

“Thanks.” When I folded my hands around it, our fingers brushed. I conjured up the feel of his arms around me, wishing desperately for that to happen again.

My legs were still sore from yesterday’s practice. I could barely get out of bed this morning. So, I suppose I could end up falling again. I had to fight against the urge to do it right now. It would be so easy.

I’d land right in his arms….

“Remy?” He was staring at me funny.

Oh, man, I was doing it again. Getting lost in my thoughts. Acting crazy.

I cleared my throat. “Sorry. I was thinking.”

“About?” His eyes met mine.

My knees softened. About you holding me; touching me. “Um…I um…” My body warmed. “…thought I forgot my math book, but I’m pretty sure I have it.”

After tossing the paper inside, I closed the front door and trailed after Nick. It was weird getting used to all the changes. But the one thing that hadn’t changed was Nick’s car. For years, I’d seen him outside tinkering with this vintage mustang.

I’d never been in it before. Not until yesterday.

As I slid into the car, he closed the passenger door firmly behind me. While he made his way around the car, it gave me a minute to catch my breath and calm my nerves. I still wasn’t used to being this close to him or riding in his car. It was surreal.

When he plunked down onto the driver’s side, I caught a whiff of his scent – a mixture of soap and leather – and it made my head spin. Gripping the door handle, I fought to keep myself upright and steady as he pulled away from the curb.

A song started playing on the radio, and my pulse kickstarted. “I know this song.” Mom and Aunt Kelly were playing it that day in the living room. The day that Ian cheated on me. The day before I ended up here.

Glancing over at me, Nick’s lips curl upward into an amused smile. “Really? I hadn’t noticed,” he said in a sarcastic tone. Reaching out, he turned the volume up. “You’re the only person in the world who could get me to listen to Wilson Phillips.” He winked, and my belly quivered. “But I know better than to play my Guns n Roses when you’re in the car.”

I giggled. One more thing that hadn’t changed about me. Rock music had never really been my jam. I was a pop and R & B girl. If only I could remember all the other times we’d been in this car together. Then a thought struck, fast and shocking, like a lightning strike.

What if something romantic had happened between us?

What if we had already kissed, and I literally had no memory of it?

“You okay?” Nick’s eyebrows knit together.

Geez, I must have been making a weird face as I was having an internal panic attack. Smiling, I nodded.

“Guess you did end up having sweet dreams, huh?”

I froze. How did he know that I dreamt about him? “What?”

“You seem all right today. Must’ve gotten enough sleep.”

“Oh. Yeah.” I blew out a breath and stared out the window. Pull it together, Rem.

“And your ankle looks fine, so I guess you really didn’t sprain it this time.”

“Thank god.” I couldn’t even imagine how humiliating it would’ve been to sprain my ankle at my first cheer practice. At least the first one I remembered anyway.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “Wasn’t so bad last time, was it?”

My mouth dried out. I seriously needed a cheat sheet. A list of dates with their correlating memories. Like cliff notes, but for my life.

“I guess not,” I answered coyly, fluttering my lashes.

His lips shifted slightly downward.

Wrong answer? Too flirty? Bad use of my eyelashes? I sucked at this.

“You guess not?” He said. “If it weren’t for your sprained ankle, you and I might not have started hanging out.”

“Oh, c’mon. You really think we wouldn’t have hung out?” I fished for answers. “We’ve lived next door to each other for years.”

He grinned in a way that made my entire body hum. “I guess you’re right. Eventually, I would’ve found a different excuse.”

He’d been looking for an excuse? I always thought it was the other way around.

After parking in the school lot and getting out of the car, I spotted Ian and a bunch of guys walking toward us. The image of him all over Melissa filled my mind. Anger surfaced.

“Ian. Ugh,” I muttered under my breath. When he glanced up at me, I involuntarily moved toward Nick. Our arms connected. Ian didn’t seem to notice. He walked by as if I was invisible. Did we not even know each other?

“What?” Nick’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Nothing.” I relaxed, feeling silly. In 1993, Ian hadn’t cheated on me. We hadn’t even been together.

“Wait.” Nick’s eyes narrowed. “Is something going on with you and that guy? Ian?”

Ian and Nick had never been friends. I was relieved they weren’t in this lifetime either.

“No.” I shook my head vehemently.

“Then what was that about?”

“Um…I don’t know. He just creeps me out, I guess.”

His expression changed from curiosity to concern. “Has he done something?”

For a brief moment, I contemplated saying yes. Nick probably would’ve kicked his ass if I had. But what would have been the point? The 1993 Ian hadn’t done anything to me. As much as I hated to admit it, right now Ian was innocent.

If only my head and my heart could’ve been in sync.

It sucked. The things I did want to remember – like everything that had happened between Nick and me up until this point – I couldn’t. But the memory of Ian slobbering all over a girl who wasn’t me – that played on a loop in my mind over and over again.

Ugh.

“No. It’s the vibe he gives off.” The cheating, lying bastard vibe.

“Really?” Nick cocked an eyebrow and moved a little closer. “What vibe am I giving off?”

A sexy vibe. I swallowed hard. My head spun.

He laughed abruptly and stepped back. “I’m messin’ with you.”

Thank god I didn’t answer.

His gaze bounced over my shoulder. “Oh. There are the guys.” He glanced back at me. “See ya at lunch?”

“Of course.” As if he even had to ask? Would there ever be a universe where I wouldn’t want to eat lunch with Nick? I didn’t think so. “See ya then.” I stared at his backside as he swaggered off.

“Hey, Remy.” Brooke walked toward me, wearing a friendly smile. My stomach churned a little. I still didn’t fully trust her.

“Hey.” I attempted to seem nonchalant and prayed she didn’t notice me checking out Nick’s butt.

She nodded toward him. “How were things this morning with you two?”

I shrugged. “Fine.”

“Seriously? When’s he going to make his move already? He usually doesn’t wait this long.” She tossed a strand of hair over her shoulder.

Was she speaking from personal experience?

I opened my mouth to ask her when Melody and Katie ran over.

“There you guys are,” Melody said, breathless.

“We’ve been looking everywhere,” Katie added.

I glanced over at Brooke. She wore that same friendly smile, but there was something in her eyes that made my insides twist. A flash of the girl I’d known for years. Maybe 1993 Brooke wasn’t that different after all.

 

***

 

I went to the wrong place at lunch. It was like my body had its own GPS. I ended up in the quad at the spot where I’d been eating lunch for the past three years. Ava was there with her group of friends. She wore ripped jeans and a black t-shirt again. Her makeup was dark and severe to match her expression.

My heart ached. Was the Ava I knew even in there? My gaze landed on the spot where last week Ava and I had sat and written a song together. She was better at lyrics than I was, but I was the best at coming up with harmonies. We’d hunched over a notebook, our friend Sam plucking out the notes on his guitar. Once we were done, we recorded a rough version on my phone. If only I had my phone now. I longed to pull it out. To listen to it. To have proof that it really happened.

“You lost?” Ava asked me. Her tone was rude. It was like she hated my guts.

I frowned. “Um…no. Sorry.” Ducking my head, I spun around and scurried away from them. But it wasn’t far enough. Their laughter trailed me.

Ava had never been mean. She’d been bullied early on in elementary school. Since then, she’d made it her mission to be kind. My Ava never would’ve ran me out of the quad like that. Sure, she disliked the popular crowd as much as I did. But rarely did she lower herself to their level. That only happened on the rarest of occasions, and only as a way of exacting revenge.

I froze.

Was that what she was doing?

Had I been mean to her? Had I hurt her in some way?

Clutching my middle, I felt sick.

“Hey, girl.” Brooke rushed up the minute I entered the cafeteria, bumping me in the side with her hip. “Where ya been?” Linking arms with me, she walked forward. 

“Oh.” I glanced around. Nick’s gaze met mine, and he smiled. Thoughts of Ava left my mind. I walked alongside Brooke, my eyes never leaving Nick’s. “I had to talk to my teacher after class.”

“Is that English?” Brooke’s lips curled downward. I nodded. “I have to talk to Mrs. Sullivan too. Gotta change my essay topic. They’re all out of the books I need at the library.”

“Books? What books?”

“Any books on my topic.” She shook her head. “How am I supposed to get the research done. So annoying.”

“Just go online,” I blurted out before I could stop myself.

“Go where?” She asked.

“Nowhere,” I answered swiftly.

Luckily, we reached the table and Katie and Melody waved us over. Smiling, I slid my arm out of Brooke’s and plunked down on the bench. It creaked beneath me.

For a minute Brooke still eyed me funny, but then Katie started talking to her about her latest shopping spree and they got engrossed in a conversation. I pulled out my lunch bag and spilled the contents on the table. A bag of chips, a diet soda and a sandwich. I almost laughed out loud. My mom had never packed me a lunch like this. She swore soda caused cancer and didn’t buy anything with red dye in it. My lunch normally consisted of raw fruit, a wrap or salad and a bottled water.

 Breaking open the bag of chips, I took a bite out of one, enjoying the salty flavor. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a chip. Most likely, it was at Ava’s.

Across from me, Nick and his friends were razzing each other about football practice. When the conversation died down, he glanced at me and nodded his head. “What’s up?”

“Um…nothing really…you know, school. Classes. Just came from English.” Dude. Remy. Shut. Up. Response not required. I may have been from a different year, but was I from another planet? Contrary to my behavior, I had interacted with humans before. But not these ones. And never at the popular table.

Okay, so this was huge.

At least that was my excuse, and I was sticking to it.

Nick’s lips curled upward in that amused smile I was getting to know pretty well.  “You’re cute when you ramble.”

My mouth dried out. I reached for my soda and took a much-needed gulp. But I drank too swiftly, and it gave me the hiccups. Oh, right. Carbonation = hiccups. Nice to see my body was the same.

“What are you doing after the game Friday night?” Nick propped his elbows up on the table.

“Um…” Hiccup. Great.

Nick laughed. “You okay?”

“Just got the…” hiccup. “…the…” hiccup.

Another laugh from Nick. Another hiccup from me. Oh, god. Embarrassing.

Brooke peered over, her brows furrowing. I shrugged. Another hiccup escaped. The look she gave me could only be described as irritation. Leave it to me to bring out this side of her. I always had.

“Boo!” Hands grabbed my shoulders, scaring the crap out of me.

I screamed, my body jolting. Arms came around my waist. “It’s okay. It’s just me.” Nick whispered in my ear, his chin resting on my shoulder. His words were meant to calm me, but they had the opposite effect. My heart raced. The rest of our table broke out in laughter. “Sorry, but it’s the only way I know to get rid of hiccups.”

Taking a deep breath, I realized it had worked.

“They gone?” He asked.

I turned my head, our faces so close our noses almost touched. It took all the strength inside to force out a breath. “Uh huh.” I wanted to be angry with him for scaring me and for making everyone laugh. But I wasn’t.

Not even a little bit.

His hands. His touch. My skin. On fire. His face. His lips. So close to mine. Oh, god. I couldn’t breathe.

When he drew back, I inhaled sharply, much needed air flooding my lungs.

“Works every time.” He rubbed his palms together as he sat back down across from me. “So, anyway, about the game Friday…”

“Oh. Right.” I blinked. Once. Twice. Took in a deep breath. Forced myself out of my Nick-induced stupor. “I honestly hadn’t even planned on being at the game…but...” I’d never been to one, but then again, I’d never been asked by the star quarterback.

Brooke’s head whipped in my direction. I could feel the heat of her stare. “You’re joking, right? You have to be at the game.”

My stomach plummeted. God, I was an idiot. Of course. I was a cheerleader now. “Yeah.” I made myself laugh. “Obviously, it was a joke.”

Brooke cocked her head to the side, appearing confused. But then laughed along with me. Thank god she didn’t ask if I was sick again.

Facing Nick, I said, “I don’t think I have any plans for after the game.” At least I hoped I didn’t. I honestly had no idea.

“Some of us were gonna get together. Wanna join?”

Um…hell yes. Was that even a real question? There’s nothing I’d rather do.

But I forced myself to remain calm and gently nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Awesome.” A large smile swept his face. My stomach fluttered.

Friday night was going to be epic.