My nerves jangled as I waited for Cameron… or should I say Cain, to arrive. Dammit, I needed to get used to this change in name. And to be honest, the name Cain seemed to suit him better. Cameron was a Scottish name, and he was very much an American. I repeated his name over and over in my mind in a bid to acquaint myself with it, but all it did was produce images in my mind of my American in a kilt, bare chested and staring at me with that blue-eyed smoulder. My nipples stood to attention just at the thought. I had a major thing for a man in traditional Scottish dress anyway, but Cain, the all-American bad boy in all his tattooed glory, kitted out in this way made my breasts feel heavy with lust and set my needy clit tingling.

There was a knock at the door and it snapped me back from my latest inappropriate fantasy. I inhaled a long, deep breath and shook my hands in front of me like a boxer warming up for a fight. “Come in.”

He walked into the room and I instinctively gravitated toward him by several steps; and as I did so I noticed that he did the same. Warmth flooded my veins and I smiled in a way that I hoped would be reassuring, considering our last encounter and the information I had imparted. His responding smile was curt and I watched as he raised his arms toward me briefly. But he suddenly clenched his fists and then slipped his hands into his jeans pockets. I wasn’t sure what he’d been about to do, but that one small action caused the ache of lust to turn to one of deep longing. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him that everything would be okay. He looked so lost but so very handsome at the same time. Patty, his nurse, had brought him some clothes. They had belonged to her son, who had emigrated to Australia, and they almost fit him. But the lack of a belt around his waist meant the blue jeans hung low on his hips. Belts were not allowed on the ward for reasons of suicide risk.

With his vivid blue gaze fixed on mine, Cain once again walked slowly toward me. He wore a pale blue button-up T-shirt with the first two buttons unfastened. The sleeves were rolled up to the elbows, revealing the tattoos on his muscular forearms.

Needing to release myself from his magnetic draw, I turned and walked over to sit on one of the couches where I usually conducted my therapy sessions. I cleared my throat. “Hi, Cain. Have a seat.” I gestured to the couch opposite, and he sat.

Resting his elbows on his knees, he steepled his fingers. “So… have you found any more skeletons in my closet?” he asked, tilting his head to one side and piercing me with his intense cerulean stare.

The sensuality that emanated from that very simple head movement sent another rush of blood to my sex. I looked away for a moment to gather myself and break the spell that he seemed to cast over me whenever we made eye contact. “No. I was hoping you may have had some more flashbacks.”

He rubbed his hands over his face and fell silent for a moment. “Just dreams. I think I used to pick up Rosa from high school on my motorbike. And…”

“And?” I shifted in my seat as images of Cain straddling a shining hunk of power exacerbated my desire.

“And she mentioned something about a patch coming loose on my cut. In the dream I was wearing a leather vest or… or the police called it a waistcoat when they showed me, and I think that was what she was referring to. I… think the connections to the motorcycle club that you mentioned were significant. I… I think I was a member.”

I dropped my gaze again. Shit. So he was—or is—a member of a club that rains down violence and crime on a poor neighbourhood somewhere in the United States. This can’t be good. So why am I not put off? Why do I not care that he has potentially harmed other human beings? What does that say about me? Why does it not matter to me in the slightest what he’s done in his past? When I lifted my head and met his eyes again, I saw regret; and something that felt like relief rapidly swept through me. If he regrets his past actions, then that means he’s not all bad. “You seem… you seem unhappy about that,” I observed.

“Yeah, well, it was you who told me that I’m connected to violent crime. Fuck! How am I supposed to feel?” He ran his hands through his hair, and I watched as the strands fell back to caress his skin. But his devastation was almost palpable.

I needed to reassure him, and the urge to hold him almost overpowered me again. “Look, we don’t know for sure that you held responsibility for any crime, Cain.”

He stood and began pacing. “Oh, come on, Kelly. Don’t try to fucking sugar-coat shit here. I’m a fucking criminal. I have a record. And now my sister is paying for my mistakes. Someone has her, and I can’t fucking help her if I’m here trying to figure out who the hell I am!” His deep, gravelly voice bellowed out and the veins in his neck protruded. My heart palpitated in my chest and I blinked rapidly at his outburst. Suddenly the door felt too far away.

My eyes flicked from the door to Cain. “Cain, please calm down.” He began to stalk toward me and I stood, ready to bolt. I held up my hands. “Please sit down. We will get to the bottom of this, and we will try and figure out where your sister is—”

He stopped right in front of me and gripped my arms. “And what if we’re too late, huh?” His eyes flashed with anger.

I began to shake as the cold dread of fear washed over me. If he was the criminal it seemed he had turned out to be, I had to be careful. I had no clue what he was capable of.

He pleaded at me with his stare. “Kelly, I know my memory is sketchy, but from the dreams I’ve been having, I know that I love that kid with all my heart. I’m responsible for her, but I wasn’t involved in her disappearance, that much I know. I think I pissed someone off and they took her as revenge. How could I live with myself if they harm her because of something I did?” His voice had softened and wavered as he spoke. “I need to go to her, Kelly.”

The pain in his eyes made my heart ache for him. I raised my hands and gripped his elbows as compassion overtook my fear, pushing aside the knowledge that this depth of caring for him overstepped my professional boundaries by miles. “I want to help you, Cain. I really do. But I don’t know how we could get you out of here and on a plane to the USA when you have no passport. And let’s face the facts as they are. You don’t actually know where she is or where you’re from exactly. You’d be going there blind, and America is a huge place to be lost in.”

He clenched his jaw and closed his eyes. “I feel so fucking useless, Kelly. Why is my memory not coming back quicker? How can I make it happen faster?” He opened his eyes again and locked them on mine. His anguish was almost palpable. My eyes began to sting and my throat tightened. I wanted more than anything to comfort him and ease his worry. I could only imagine what this was like for him, and that was bad enough.

“Cain, I’m so sorry,” I whispered, wishing it could be different between us. “There’s nothing you can do to make things happen quicker. You have to let the healing occur at a natural pace. The brain is such a complex organ to deal with, and to be quite honest you’re lucky to be alive as it is. You can’t force it. We can encourage it, of course. That’s why we have these sessions. But there’s no magic elixir that will make your memory return at the flick of a switch.”

He closed his eyes once again and let his head drop forward. “I’d do anything. Anything to be able to help Rosa. I’d give my life just to know she was safe again.”

Those words were my undoing and I pulled him into my arms as he broke down. His violent sobs vibrated through me and I managed to guide him back to the couch. I sat and he immediately crumpled into me and rested his head in my lap, clinging to my hips and pouring out the anguish he was feeling. He wasn’t alone in feeling useless. I wanted so much to take this pain away and give him what he needed but there was nothing more I could do.

Once he had calmed and the sobs had subsided he raised his body again, rubbed his hands over his face and exhaled a ragged breath. “Fuck, I’m sorry Kelly. I… I don’t know what came over me. You must think I’m a total fucking pussy.”

I handed him a box of tissues. “I think nothing of the sort. You’re going through an incredibly traumatic time. There’s no need to apologise for getting emotional. It’s a wonder it hasn’t happened before.” My God, could there be any more layers to this man? His endearing vulnerability at that precise moment almost had me a quivering mess, melting to a puddle on the floor. He was both dominant and soft-hearted. Such a heady combination sent images racing through my mind of what he would be like making love to me. Arrgh. Focus, Kelly. Focus.

“Look… Is there any chance that I could maybe get out of here for a break? You know, some fresh air that doesn’t involve the hospital grounds? I hear the Black Isle is beautiful. I’d like to maybe go there.”

“Oh… I don’t think—”

“Oh, come on, Kelly. As my doctor you could make it part of my rehab. Couldn’t you?”

Oh God, those eyes… that face. I think it was safe to say I would have done anything for him right then. A voice in the back of my mind was screaming at me, telling me how unprofessional I was being… had been… but the part of my brain that made decisions chose to ignore the voice.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

A grin spread across his handsome features.

Oh, great. “Don’t get excited. You won’t be allowed to go alone.”

His smile disappeared and he leaned toward me. I froze and swallowed as he reached out and engulfed my hand in his. “Maybe you could accompany me? Give me a tour.”

He gently squeezed my fingers and ran his thumb over my knuckles. Not a particularly sexy gesture, but it seemed anything he did was sexy to me and my body reacted accordingly. Shivers graced my skin at the casual yet somehow intimate contact.

He stared at my lips and licked his own. A pulsing throb began at the junction of my thighs, and my nipples stood to attention. I really needed to listen to the voice in the back of my head, but my heart was pounding so hard that it was drowned out.

“One of these days, Kelly, I’m gonna find out how good it feels to be inside you. To fuck you and have you call my name when you come.”

I gasped at his coarse language and I clenched my core muscles, trying in vain to fight the spike of desire and the dampening of my underwear as my body betrayed me. “You… you really need to stop talking to me like that, Cain,” I stuttered. “It’s… I don’t like it. It’s highly inappropriate and—”

He chuckled darkly and interrupted my protestations. “You forget that I know how wet you get for me. The effect I have on you. You affect me too. Do you know how hard you make me? It’d be a shame to waste that. Don’t you think?”

His face was perilously close to mine and his breath teased my lips. The more I leaned back, the more he leaned toward me until I was almost on my back. How the hell he had gone from crying about his kid sister to seducing me was a mystery. Although I was very much aware that amnesia patients did sometimes exhibit irrational behaviour, this felt different. And I would have been a fool to give in.

But who was I kidding? I was a fool.

His hand slipped up my inner thigh and I pressed my knees together, trying again to contradict my body’s desires, but it didn’t stop him. His mission continued and I felt my barriers falling as he fixed me with a penetrating gaze that could have melted my panties right off. I relaxed my thighs, and his fingers brushed lightly over my sex.

“I can feel the effect I have on you.” He slipped his body closer to me and gripped my hand. He manoeuvred me so that I could feel the thick, hard ridge of his cock through his jeans. “And now you can feel the effect you have on me, Kelly. You’d better be thankful for my current state of unpreparedness. If I had a condom, I’d take you, right here, right now on this couch.”

A voice in my head was screaming yes, just do it, take me, and my body was a willing associate. Another countering voice in my head was trying desperately to make me see sense, but the first voice chose that precise moment to remind me that I had condoms in my purse from my last encounter with Dermott.

“We… we can’t. Someone could walk in. We can’t keep doing this. This is not me. I’m not a slut.” Although I spoke the words out loud, I was talking to myself. Trying to remind myself that I had only ever trusted Dermott with my body. But the excitement that this illicit exchange with this dangerous man was provoking in me was like nothing I had ever experienced before.

“I don’t think you’re a slut. Far from it,” he growled deeply, and that alone almost had me falling into the abyss. “I think you’re a beautiful, sexy woman who needs to loosen up and go with the flow a little more. You don’t know what pleasures you’re missing out on. I could show you. I could make you feel so good. If I can do this to you with just my fingers, imagine how good it would be with my tongue… my cock.”

He began to tease my sensitive flesh through the cotton fabric of my panties, and against my better judgement, I squeezed at the ridge in his jeans, wishing for a split second that we were somewhere private so that I could give in.

He buried his face in my cleavage and mumbled, “God you smell so good. You always. Smell. So. Fucking. Good.” His fingers slipped past the barrier before them and I gasped as they entered me.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door and I was snatched back to reality with a resounding thud that matched the one made by heart.

Back down to Earth.

To sanity.

“Shit, shit what am I doing?” I spoke in an angry whisper and shoved him off of me before I stood quickly to straighten my clothing. He sighed heavily and adjusted himself. Then stared at me and licked his fingers. Bastard! “Erm… come in!” I called.

Patty appeared around the door. “Hi, Dr Darrow. I’m sorry to interrupt, but… your next appointment is waiting.”

Oh my God, what the hell was wrong with me? Insanity was taking over. That was the only explanation. I turned to face Cain. “That will be all for today, Mr. Somers.”

He nodded with an appearance of defeat. His shoulders slumped. With a sharp raise of his eyebrows he said, “Okay… and what about the thing we talked about?”

Shit! He’s not going to hint at our sexual exchange in front of Patty? “The thing?”

“Yeah… the thing about me going out for some fresh air?”

Phew! Thank goodness. “Oh… oh, yes, that thing. Leave it with me and I’ll see what I can do.” Now get out, get out, get out!

His brow scrunched and he appeared less than convinced at my words. He eyed me closely and suspiciously as he passed me to leave the office. Patty held the door open for him and closed it once he had exited.

“Kelly, is everything okay, dear?”

“Yes, Patty. W-why do you ask?”

“I don’t know… I just get a strange vibe from that young man. He looks at you as though he could devour you, and that worries me.”

Oh, Patty, you have no idea. “Not at all. He’s just struggling to come to terms with his situation. I think maybe he needs to get out of here for a couple of hours. Have a change of scenery.”

“But… he couldn’t go out alone, so who would take him?”

Okay… time to plant the seed. “Well… I’m off tomorrow. I could escort him for a while.”

She frowned. “That’s not really part of your job description, Doctor, babysitting patients. And I’m not sure that being alone with him is such a good idea. I mean, we don’t know—”

“Patty, if I need advice on how to deal with my cases from a registered mental health nurse, I will be sure to come and find you,” I snapped.

She clamped her mouth shut and widened her eyes at me as a blush rose from her neck to her cheeks. “I’m sorry, Doctor. I didn’t mean to interfere.”

“Then don’t,” I hissed in a less-than-civilised manner. She rapidly turned and left the room. When I was sure she had gone, I walked over to my desk, slumped into my chair, and exhaled a long, shaking breath. “I’m going stark raving mad.”