A pretty young woman with dark hair and blue eyes sobbed and screamed, “No!” as a faceless someone in black behind her restrained her by the arms. She was flailing but her efforts were futile. Her petite frame was no match for the hulk holding her captive. Someone else struck me over and over with rock-hard fists. Jabbing jagged knuckles into every available patch of skin. I couldn’t see their faces. Only hers. It broke my heart to see her in so much distress. How could they let her see this? Why would they do this to her? She didn’t deserve this. She shouldn’t even be involved. Nausea crept over me in a wave as pain racked my body. Blow after unforgiving blow jarred me and rendered me speechless. I wanted to shout at them to let her go. To get her out of there. But the air had left my lungs and the words wouldn’t come…

And so began another day in my new version of hell. It followed another night of disturbing dreams. It was becoming the norm to wake and find a concerned middle-aged woman standing over me. Patty had replaced Annie as my nurse in the psych ward and I was rapidly growing fond of her. She was a sweet woman. Kind of motherly. I liked that about her. It was as if I hadn’t experienced anything like that in a very long time.

“That was some nightmare you were having, hon. I was on the verge of getting the doctor to come and sedate you again.”

I closed my eyes briefly but as soon as I did, I saw the young, dark-haired woman’s tearstained face so I immediately opened them again. “That bad, huh?”

Patty nodded. “Yes, that bad, love. Can you remember anything of the nightmare?”

I shook my head. She wasn’t the person I needed to share it with. Doctor Darrow was no doubt conversant in the subconscious meanings of dreams. I’d wait and tell her when I saw her.

“Do you think you might be up to a little walk today?” Patty asked. “You really need to start getting up and about.”

I scrunched my brow. “Where would we be going?”

“You need to have your meeting with Doctor Darrow.”

Bingo. Doctor McSexy. My day was set to improve. “Okay. Yeah, I guess I could manage that. Will you be with me?”

“Of course, love. Wouldn’t leave you in case you fell. I’ll collect you afterwards too.”

“Great. Thank you.”

“Your clothes have been laundered and I’ve placed them on the chair for you. Your catheter was removed as you slept. No man likes to experience that event when conscious. Are you up to washing yourself?”

My cheeks heated at the thought of a sponge bath by the nurse who was old enough to be my mom. “Yeah, I think I’ll manage, thanks.” The images were suddenly replaced by those of a certain sexy Scottish doctor leaning over me, half naked, cleavage glistening with droplets of water as she soaped up my chest and abs with a soaking-wet cloth. She dragged her nails over my nipples, and my dick hardened as I was filled with a need to lick the drips from her skin.

I was brought back to earth with a severe thud as the nurse’s voice broke through my erotic fantasy—one I would save for later use—as she said, “Great. I’ll bring you something to eat whilst you wash and get dressed, and then I’ll take you to see her once you’ve eaten. Take it steady though, okay? Push the red emergency button if you get into any difficulty. I’ll be just out here when I come back.”

Patty left the room, and I stood on weak limbs to go and wash myself in the adjacent bathroom. I looked for the door lock but strangely there wasn’t one. Dizziness came over me and as I waited for it to pass, I stood clutching the sink, looking in the mirror at my vaguely familiar reflection. I examined my tattoos closely. They were a mixture of text and pictures. Some of the symbols looked like some kind of foreign language and I had no clue what they said. The intricacy of some of the detail told me that I must have been in the artist’s chair for hours. Some were brightly coloured and depicted people. The word Cosmic with a woman draped over it in a sultry pose had me running my fingers over the lettering. Who was she? Someone significant? Or just some random busty woman put there for my titillation?

The hollowed eyes of a skull stared out at me from my shoulder, and its menacing, skinless grin held my attention for a few moments as I searched around my mind for something… anything—but none brought to mind anything that cleared up who I was. I concentrated on my features. Shaggy hair, almost collar length, that clearly hadn’t been cut in a while… thick stubble around my jaw… blue eyes that looked a little sunken and were surrounded by dark circles. My shoulders were broad and there wasn’t much flesh on my muscular torso that wasn’t covered in ink. I stared into the eyes of my reflection, desperately trying to bring my name to mind. But the only name that came to me was… Rosa. And that sure as hell wasn’t my name, so who the fuck was Rosa and why was that the only name I could recall? Was she the girl in my dream? Who the hell knew? Not me.

Once I was freshened up, I dressed in the clothes that were on the chair. They smelled of fresh laundry detergent and fit me, but I didn’t recognise them. Dark jeans with no goddamn belt and a plain black T-shirt.

Very understated.

When I stepped out of the bathroom, I noticed a breakfast tray by the bed and Patty sitting in the corner smiling. I devoured the omelette like it was my last meal. The coffee wasn’t great, bitter and poor quality; but the fruit juice tasted good.

Patty walked over and gestured to the tray as if to ask if I was done. I grabbed the napkin and nodded. She removed the tray and placed it on the chair by the door. “You’re looking a little brighter. I would’ve brought you a razor but… well… it’s against policy. The risk and everything.” She cringed.

I scrunched my face for what felt like the millionth time. “Risk? What risk?”

Patty’s face turned carefully blank, but then she smiled warmly in what I guessed was reassurance. “Let me take you to Doctor Darrow. From tomorrow you’ll be okay to eat with the others. That’ll be better for you.” I got the feeling she was purposefully avoiding answering any of my questions.

I stood and shuffled toward the door, wiping my mouth on the paper napkin that came with my food, and then dropped it onto the tray before I gripped Patty’s offered arm of support. We slowly walked down the hospital corridor and she gestured for me to sit on a chair outside a blue office door. It was closed, with a silver plaque that read Dr K. M. Darrow.

Patty knocked on the door and stepped inside. I heard her mumble something to Doctor Darrow before she came out and gestured for me to enter. Walking into the room, I looked out the window and got my first glimpse of the world beyond the hospital walls. The view of a vast bridge and the town and scenery beyond was impressive but not at all familiar.

“Hello there. Please… have a seat,” The sexy auburn-haired woman said from a couch at the far side of the large, multipurpose room. I slowly and shakily walked over. I must’ve looked as if I was approaching a deadly creature, but the truth was, my legs felt as if they may give way at any minute. I slumped onto the couch opposite her.

“Hi… Doctor Darrow, isn’t it?” I smiled, hoping that she’d acquired amnesia over my behaviour the last time we met.

“That’s correct.” She exuded professionalism; gone was the friendly bedside manner from before. Perhaps she was building a wall so that I couldn’t intimidate her again. I couldn’t blame her really. She reached for a notepad and pen and placed them on her lap. Today it was grey slacks and a fitted cream blouse that hugged her shapely tits. Her hair was pinned up on her head and her glasses were perched on her nose. Every bit the stereotypical sultry shrink. My mind began to torture me with erotic, fabricated mental images of her and me together. I swallowed hard.