After a month or so of coming to terms with my returning memory and the loss of Melody and our baby, I had moved into a one-bedroom apartment in the city of Inverness. I no longer needed to be kept at the hospital at North Kessock and was no longer seen as a danger to myself despite my crazy outburst when I had realised all over again that Melody and our baby were gone. There was assessment after assessment. I saw many different doctors, and the cops interviewed me several times.

December in Scotland was fucking freezing. And I didn’t feel particularly festive. Kelly and I had kept a professional distance, and I missed her like crazy. It wasn’t the sex. It was her friendship. The fact that she genuinely cared. The way she looked at me made my heart melt. And okay, I’d only made love to her properly once, but God, I missed that closeness.

Although my memory wasn’t fully restored, I did know that sex had been an important part of my life, and not having that connection with someone made me feel like half a man. Now that I was free of the hospitals constraints, I had considered going out to get laid to try to make myself feel better. But my heart wasn’t in it. My heart, was in fact, pissing me off, pining for a woman I’d lost forever whilst simultaneously racked with guilt for wanting another woman I couldn’t forget.

I hadn’t been cleared to return to the USA because they still thought I may potentially be in some kind of danger there, but I was informed that steps were continuing to be taken to find my sister. For some reason the memories surrounding the incident that led to my being in Scotland and the disappearance of Rosa were the ones that were refusing to fucking show up. Instead I was being plagued with snippets of situations that I couldn’t grasp. There was nothing tangible that I could offer as to where my sister could be.

Cosmic as a whole was denying all knowledge of me and my sister, which told me that they definitely had some fucking involvement in her disappearance. In fact, something in the back of mind was bothering me about Melody’s death too. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but something was bugging me. They were a Company of Sinners after all. They were a fucking bad company. That much I knew. But I couldn’t give descriptions or names or locations. And Utah was a big-ass fucking state. It turned out there were Cosmic crews all over the goddamn place. And I didn’t know anything more than that.

So there I was sitting in my little flat, as they called it, watching some show about teenage wannabes trying to get to be famous rock stars and win a recording contract. Talk about a pile of shit. I’d been advised that alcohol should be avoided on account of the meds I was still taking, but every so often I threw caution to the wind and drank a few beers.

I glanced at the clock on the wall. Eight in the evening on a Saturday. Fucking great. I know how to live. I was just contemplating eating a bag of chips I’d gotten from the local store earlier when there was a knock on the door and I scrunched my brow. Who the fuck would be checking up on me at eight on a Saturday? I’d had my daily visit at five, and so I guessed it must be a neighbour needing to borrow milk or something. The place I was in was filled with those coming out of rehab or mental health care, and most of them kept to themselves, which was fine by me. I felt like a fucking fraud to be taking up an apartment that could have been put to better use. But I had nowhere else to go.

Dragging myself off the brown leather couch I walked to the door and opened it. What I saw… or rather who I saw had my mouth falling open in shock. The best shock I’d had in fucking months.

“Kelly? What the hell are you doing here?” Shit, way to make someone feel welcome, dickweed.

She smiled nervously. “I… I thought you might like a little Christmas tree for your flat.” She held up a huge bag that was overflowing with sparkly shit.

Rubbing the back of my neck and trying not to focus on how amazing she looked and smelled, all the while trying to hide the fact that I was now sporting a huge fucking boner, I smiled. “Oh… right, yeah. That’s great, thanks. C-come on in.”

She cringed and bit her lower lip. “If it’s a bad time… or if you don’t celebrate Christmas or—”

I laughed and held the door open, gesturing for her to come in. “Why the fuck would I not celebrate Christmas, huh?”

Her smile returned, and she stepped into my living room. She glanced around and began removing the scarf from her neck. “Nice place you’ve got here.”

“Oh yeah. Totally amaze balls.” My mock teenage-girl reply was drenched in sarcasm, and she hit my arm playfully. I rubbed my arm and pouted. “Want a drink?”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “What have you got?”

I crossed my arms defensively over my chest. “Well I don’t have any beer, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

She scrunched her face suspiciously and pursed her lips for a moment, and I thought I was busted. But then a sly smile appeared on her luscious lips. “Shame. I would’ve loved a beer.”

“Ah, well… it just so happens I think some appeared in my fridge just now. Only on doctor’s orders obviously.”

“Oh, obviously.” She grinned. I loved that her playful nature was coming out, and the way she cocked her head to the side just about made me throw her down and climb on top of her. God, I’d missed her so fucking much.

Once I had grabbed a couple beers from the little refrigerator in the kitchen area and adjusted my cock in my boxers, I cracked off the caps and returned to hand one to Kelly where she sat on the couch.

I sat on the chair opposite, needing to keep my distance. Being close to her would be too much, and I couldn’t be sure I would be able to keep my hands to myself. “So… how’ve you been?” I asked her, suddenly feeling like an awkward teenage geek.

“Shouldn’t it be me asking you that?”

I chuckled. “Ah, what the hell. Let’s break with convention, huh?”

She laughed but her eyes remained guarded. Secretive. “I’ve been okay… I suppose.”

That didn’t sound good, and deep down I hoped it was down to the fact that she’s missed me too. “You suppose?”

She placed her beer down on the small wooden coffee table and sighed heavily, her gaze locked on her bottle. “I know I maybe shouldn’t say this. And that maybe you don’t want to hear it but… I’ve missed you.”

I widened my eyes. Surprised at her revelation. And so fucking relieved. The air rushed from my lungs and my dick hardened even more, to the point where it was almost painful. I tried to ignore it and concentrate on what she’d just said. “You have?”

She nodded and glanced up at me. Her pink cheeks revealed her embarrassment at admitting her feelings. “I really have.”

I placed my beer down and moved to sit beside her on the couch. “But I haven’t gone very far.”

Her smile was small and fleeting. “No… but I don’t see you every day anymore. I’d sort of got used to that. And soon you’ll be gone for good.”

I reached out and took her hand as my heart began to race. “Well… I’m here with you now.”

She turned her face and gazed into my eyes. “You are,” she whispered, and I could sense her pain.

Needing no other words, I slipped my hand into her hair and crushed my lips into hers. Her hands clutched at my sweater and our tongues melded together, reacquainting and reconnecting. The urgency of her kiss took me off guard, but I reciprocated with just as much desperation. She scrambled onto my lap, and her long skirt bunched up around her thighs as she straddled me. Her core rubbed against my erection and that fuelled my fire. Keeping my mouth on hers, I reached down and pulled off her each of her boots in turn, dropping them to the floor as she bit my lower lip and I moaned my appreciation.

I was so hard for her.

I yanked my sweater from my body and dropped it behind the couch and then tugged at the hem of the cute blue sweater she wore, and she pulled away so that I could strip it from her. My hands roamed over her soft, bare skin and cupped her satin-covered breasts as her fingers slipped into my hair, tugging desperately at the long strands. She removed her hands from my hair and scratched her nails down my chest and over my nipples as she rolled her hips, rubbing herself over my cock.

I inhaled sharply.

“I fucking need you, Kelly. I need to be inside you. Tell me I can make love to you,” I growled against her lips.

She pulled her hands away from my hair and reached around to unclasp her bra, discarding it to one side. I devoured each perfect breast, one and then the other, biting at the stiff peaks that beckoned to me. Her breathy cries told me the answer she hadn’t uttered, and I tugged at the skirt she wore, pulling it up her torso and off over her head.

I wanted no barriers between me and her skin, her tits, her pussy. I needed that intimate connection with her, and right then I would have ripped every item of clothing from her body to get what I needed.

With her mouth on mine, she reached between her legs and stroked my rigid cock through my sweatpants. Desperate to be inside of her, I lifted my ass and yanked the damn things down along with my boxers so that my cock was free for her to touch. Skin to skin. And my God, it felt so good. She gripped me and began to stroke me. It was too much and not enough simultaneously.

“Stop… Kelly, stop… I don’t wanna come until I’m inside you.”

Wordlessly she slipped off my lap, dropped to her knees, and sucked me into her hot, wet mouth. Fuck, I’d wanted her mouth on me for so damn long. I gripped her hair, trying to stop the onslaught of pleasure. “Whoa, baby, slow down… fuuuuck… that’s too good… too fucking good.”

She pulled away and smiled sexily up at me. “You said you wanted to come inside me, but you didn’t say where.”

Oh, she was playing dirty. And I fucking loved it. She sank back down again, taking me all the way in, and I gritted my teeth, desperately trying not to come in her greedy mouth.

I gasped and scrambled around my head for words to express my need, but my brain was in meltdown. “Pussy… now… Kelly, I want to be inside you.”

Freeing my erection again, she stood, hooked her thumbs into to the waistband of her black satin panties, and pouted. “All you have to do is ask, baby.”

Hearing her call me baby in that sexy-as-all-hell Scottish accent nearly un-fucking-manned me right then, and knowing that she had used my own words back at me made me fall harder. Gazing up at her through half-closed eyes, I smiled and shook my head. She stood before me, naked. Her full breasts with their pretty beaded nipples begging for my mouth and her curves on display only for me. I wanted to dive right in.

I needed this.

I needed her.