After only a couple of nights in the dive of a motel, I moved into the Company of Sinners clubhouse. The top floor was dotted with various rooms, a couple of which were kitted out with beds in case the “mood” took anyone at the many parties and gatherings held in the place. The room I was using was run-down but clean and a massive improvement on the motel. At least here there were people to talk to. Colt had convinced me that this was the safest place for me to stay temporarily in case Loki’s Legion had gotten word that I was back but that I would have to move on and soon. Maybe I should have been afraid, but I wasn’t.

My main concern was getting to Rosa and making sure she was okay. Colt assured me that he was trying to arrange for me to go see her but that it could take time; things had to be put in place to divert the Legion’s attention away from what we were doing. How the fuck did they get so damned powerful?

I was lying in bed staring at the ceiling as images of Kelly rolled through my mind—they always did when I was alone. I reached for the bottle of perfume that smelled like her and took a long inhale of the familiar fragrance. God, I miss her. When the hell will I stop feeling this way? Someone knocked on my door, snatching me back to reality.

Reluctantly I placed the bottle back in the drawer. “Yeah, what do you want?” I shouted. The feeling of being trapped inside this crumbling old building wasn’t encouraging a good mood in me, and I was deliberately making sure everyone knew it. The door opened and someone belched loudly as he poked his head around it.

I lifted my head and met Six’s wide, stupid grin. I shook my head. “God, you’re disgusting.”

He acted all coy. “Aww, shucks, you’re just saying that.” He bounded across the room like a puppy and flopped down on the edge of the bed. “Come on, dude. I got something for you.”

I sighed and rubbed my hands over my face, wondering what the fuck was so exciting. “What is it?”

“Nah. You gotta come see. Not telling.”

“How old are you, six?” Right then he was living up to his name.

He laughed and bounced the mattress up and down. “Come on, come on, come on.”

I rolled my eyes as I climbed up off the bed. “Well, seeing as you won’t let me catch a fucking break, you’d better show me. And it’d better be fucking good.”

He slapped me on the back and dashed out of the door with me following sulkily behind. We walked down the stairs, out the side door, and across the gravel to a garage at the back of the lot.

Six stopped and rubbed his hands together. “Man, you are gonna love me.”

He pulled open the metal door and walked over to a tarp in the middle of the dimly lit space. Yanking off the sheeting with a flourish, he yelled, “Ta daaaa!”

And I came face-to-face with a motorcycle.

My motorcycle.

Shiny black paint work with my name and the Cosmic logo emblazoned across the tank in silver. Memories came flooding back to me all at once like a massive physical impact and I staggered back. Images of speeding along open roads with a grin pulling at my face. Watching rocky mountain ranges whiz past me as I accelerated without fear, adrenaline pumping through my veins. Standing over the bike, cloth in hand, as I polished it lovingly with immense pride. A sense of freedom like nothing I could remember experiencing since all this shit happened. I wanted it all back. I wanted to feel that way again. I wanted to feel normal again.

Fuck me.

I just wanted to feel.

An overwhelming mixture of emotions gripped me and a sob left my throat. I covered my mouth with embarrassment twisting my insides. Sadness, elation, anger, and regret bubbled to the surface all at once as I dropped to my knees before the one thing that represented good things in my life. It was an unexpected reaction to an inanimate object, and as I knelt there and closed my eyes, I was overtaken by the urge to get on the bike and get away. Far away. Since the majority of my memory had returned, I’d discovered that I had far too many ghosts in my past and way too many misdemeanours to answer for; I was sure I’d never find any peace. But if I could just get on my bike…

Six gripped my shoulder. “Hey, Cain. I’m sorry, buddy. I… I thought it’d make you happy. I never imagined it’d damn near kill you to see your bike again. Are you okay?”

I sniffed and wiped my eyes roughly. “Yeah… yeah, I’m fine. Fuck… just a little overwhelmed, I guess. It’s been a long time.” Once I had gathered myself, I stood and straddled the metal body of the bike. It was as if the beast had been built just for me. It was a strange feeling to be so connected to the hunk of black metal, but apart from Kelly, it was the only thing that made me feel human again. I glanced at Six with a grin turning up my lips.

He cringed. “The problem is you can’t really take the bike out. Not yet. But… when Colt takes you to Rosa, you can ride it then.”

I nodded. “That’s okay. I can deal with that.” The Legion was some bad shit. I didn’t have to like it, but I got it. “So long as I get to ride eventually and I get to see Rosa.”

“Colt will make it happen, my friend. Trust him. He just wants to protect you.”

Six left me alone to get reacquainted with my bike and I spent the rest of day working on it. I polished it, changed the oil, stripped the carb, cleaned it up, and put it all back together again. It was somehow cathartic and the afternoon flew by. I hadn’t been hounded by thoughts of Kelly or memories of Melody at all, and I managed to convince myself that it wasn’t denial. It was just me moving on.

Well, I convinced myself for a short while at least.

I was washing up in the kitchen behind the bar and drifting off into a daydream about Kelly. I imagined her sitting in her office looking out the window. Would she be wondering about me too? Every time she entered my mind, I got a sinking feeling in the pit of stomach. I shook my head, determined to set the daydream loose, when Delilah appeared beside me. I turned to find her watching me closely, her head leaning on the door frame and a small smile playing on her lips.

“Hey, Delilah. What’s up?”

She blinked as if coming out of a trance. “Oh… nothing. I was just wondering if you were going to stick around for the party tonight.”

I shrugged. “What party?”

“Colt invited some of the other Cosmic charters here with their old ladies. The men are going to discuss the shit with the Legion and come up with a way forward, and then we’re having a cookout.”

Old ladies. An image of Kelly wearing Daisy Dukes and thigh-high boots entered my head and made me smile. She’d never wear shit like that. I chuckled to myself, forgetting I wasn’t alone. I glanced over at Delilah, whose gaze was still fixed on me. “Sounds good. I’ll be there.”

She chewed on her lip and smiled, her eyes bright and her cheeks pink. “Great. I was hoping you’d say that. I was worried you’d be hanging out in your room.”

I smiled and gave her a wink. “Nah. I’ll be there. Can’t stay cooped up in there forever, huh?”

“Cool.” She paused as if she was going to say more but then skipped out of the room, leaving me to finish up.