CHAPTER TWELVE
I was shivering in the cold room. They must be trying to piss me off because I hadn’t done anything wrong. They wanted me to give up the familia. I’m no rat. I’d never talk. Rats die in the most horrible of ways. I’d heard the stories. I’ve even seen a few at night when Papa would handle business with me sleeping in the back of the limo. One night in particular, when no one thought I was awake after a boring dinner, I’d woken up in the car all alone searching for Papa out of the window. I saw what happens in the dark when no one thinks you’re looking. From that day on, I knew, I’d never be a rat. Ever. It scared the shit out of me. A five-year-old little girl didn’t need to see things like that.
The lights flickered uncontrollably and it was just starting to get to me when the door opened by the bitchy Fed. Tall, thin, and dressed in men’s clothing. Black, gray, and white. No color, no make-up, her hair was flat and tasteless, too. She didn’t carry herself like a woman I’d ever seen before.
“I demand to speak with my attorney!” I slammed my cuffed fists on the brown table. Ouch, that hurt.
“Isabella Moretti?” An older man with a balding head, glasses on the brim of his nose, and black suite kissed with a pink tie right out of a GQ magazine walked into the room holding a briefcase. The suit didn’t fit him at all, but he seemed confident with his walk. I squinted my now blurred eyes at the man, wondering who he was. “Are you Isabella Moretti?” The man adjusted his glasses after he’d slammed his briefcase on the table looking between the Fed and me.
“Yes,” I answered meekly.
“I’m Randolph.” He extended his hand.
I raised my cuffed hands to his.
“Take the cuffs off, Miranda,” he said dryly.
Her chest rose in an unpleasant way as she sauntered over to me, knocking a chair out of her way. She removed the cuffs taking her sweet time about it.
I rubbed my aching wrists feeling relieved.
“Get the hell out, Miranda.” He sat in the chair directly in front of mine. “Now!” he demanded.
Miranda didn’t respond as she turned and slammed the door behind her.
“Mrs. Moretti, I’ve been hired to provide you with counsel. Do you have any initial questions before we get started?”
“Who hired you?” I needed to know who he was working for. Most importantly, I needed to know if he could be trusted.
Randolph lifted his head from the pile of papers he’d just removed from his case, peering over his round glasses. “Mr. Moretti. Is that a problem?”
A deep breath released from my lungs. “Why?” What’s in it for him? I’d never need Jax’s help.
Randolph shrugged in his high-dollar suit, resting his hands on the table. “Because he wants you to be protected.”
I huffed “Protected? He wants to make sure I’m not gonna rat on the familia. Let’s be honest here. As you can see, I’ve been locked away for something I know nothing about.” I didn’t. I barely spoke to Jax, and my father’s business wasn’t ever going to be spilled from these lips. They could lock me up, I didn’t care.
He chuckled to himself. “You’ve got fire in your eyes, Mrs. Moretti. I like that,” He muttered the last part looking back to his papers. “I’ll assure you, Mrs. Moretti, I work for only you.”
“But you’re taking his money.” I rebutted.
“Would you prefer that I take your money?” he asked matter-of-factly.
“Yes, I would.” My head lifted.
“Alright then, I’ll send you my bill.” He winked. “Any further questions?”
“When can I leave?” I needed a shower, something to eat. A blanket and a pillow. I was so tired.
“I’m hoping I can get you out within a few hours at most. Okay, so they have nothing on you personally that’ll stick. Being in the presence of the… people you associate with alone won’t make a case.”
“I can’t avoid that.” My eyes grew wide, wondering if he understood who I was.
He chuckled again. “Yes, I suppose not, being the Sagatori heir and all. But that’s why you’re here. It’s a ploy of tactics to scare you. Make you talk.”
“Well, they’re wasting their time because I don’t know anything. I’m a woman, we aren’t told anything to know anything about.” I huffed.
He shook his head. “Understood. I’m going to file some paperwork and speed things up, but anytime you’re brought in, call me. If they refuse, you tell them it’s your right to have your attorney present while questioned.”
“I knew that before… from my father. I even told them that this time, but they said I was lawyering up, so I must know something.” I rolled my eyes. I wanted to knock the shit out of that bitch.
“Another scare tactic. They’re dirtier than the people they put in this place.”
I laughed.
So true.
Randolph and I spent the next thirty minutes reviewing my statement. After we’d finished, he stood, collected his papers, and placed them into his leather briefcase. “I’ll have you out in a few. My advice. Stay home for a while. Kick back with Netflix and let this blow over.” We both stared at each other, each knowing this wasn’t going to blow over anytime soon. They were out for blood and would do anything to get it. He gave an understanding nod and walked out of the room.
***
“Well, well, well. Looks like you get to go home, kitten.” Miranda sneered in my face while she grabbed my arm yanking my tired body off of the chair I’d been sitting in for the last four hours. She leaned into my hair taking a long whiff.
“Are you finished?” I snapped. “I believe you said I could go home.”
“Oh, by all means run as fast as you can right into the arms of your gangster daddy and gangster husband.”
Oh hell no!
Before I knew what I was doing, I'd turned, pulled away from her, and opened my mouth. Bad idea. But she had pushed my last button. I had enough.
“I don’t know who you think you’re talking to bitch, but I won’t be running to anyone. You know nothing about me or my family. You’re just some sick fuckers who have nothing better to do than chase your imaginations.” I probably should have stopped there, but that’s what happened when I got worked up. I fight back and ask questions later. I leaned in close smelling the stale cigarettes on her man outfit. “You are a stupid fucking bitch,” I said slowly drawing out the words.
“Oh, I’m coming back for you, Isabella. You’re gonna wish you were never born into the Sagatori crime family. As a matter of fact, you’re gonna wish you were never born at all.” She winked.
Oh shit. Sometimes I should know when to keep my mouth shut.
Randolph entered the room just as her last words left her nicotine stained teeth. He was snarling. “Don’t say another word to my client without a warrant. We clear?” He grabbed my arm and pulled me from the room. I sighed a breath of relief that I was getting out of there. Four hours was too long to be held in a cage, even if that cage was only a room. I didn’t know how people survived in prison. I’d go crazy if I was locked up like that.
Randolph ushered me by the arm through the littered police station to the front doors. “How will I get home?” I asked as I looked around for Jax, not seeing him. All I wanted to do was go home. My body was beginning to give out on me.
Randolph’s eyes targeted something behind me. Or someone. I knew right then and there who it was. Jax.
I turned lazily expecting to see his smug face, but all I saw was… Nothing. No expression, no smug look, just absolutely nothing. His limo was sitting on the street with Dominic and Mickie waiting. With the shake of my head, I smiled at Randolph and headed for the car. I just wanted a hot sanitizing shower and my comfortable bed.
***
Seven days had passed since Jax brought me back to Detroit right after I’d been arrested. Papa had taken a turn for the worse, and I refused to be anywhere but at his side. He seemed to understand. I hadn’t heard from Jax since he personally dropped me off at the doorstep; he didn’t even walk me in. But he did leave Dominic and Tommy to watch over me.
Papa was getting sicker by the day. He was supposed to have another year at least, but the cancer was more advanced than he'd let on. The doctors weren’t giving him the best prognosis. I just wanted to fucking kill someone. Rage was becoming a part of who I was. A rage that only the men of my family held. My momma had been taken and now Papa. Not fair at all.
Most days I sat at Papa’s bedside doing what I could for him. Mostly holding his hand or offering him sips of water. The doctors had come in and said it was time for hospice. I cried. So hard. It was the end. The cancer had taken him and turned him into someone I didn’t recognize. I’d always seen Papa as a strong man who had always been good to me. Always. He loved me within an inch of his life, and I loved him. We were two peas in a pod, Momma used to say.
I watched as his skeleton of a body lay there helpless. Oxygen in his nose. He hadn’t opened his eyes for a while. I was beginning to wonder if he’d ever open them again when his hand twitched inside of mine, shaking me from my eye drift.
“Isabella?”
I jumped. His voice was weak, raspy…barely there.
“Papa? Do you need something?” I leaned in close. So close I could hear the gurgling in his breath.
“You, Isabella, are the most beautiful princess in all the land. You have exceeded every hope I’ve ever had for you, such a good Sicilian girl.” His eyes barely opened. His lips barely parted. Tears began to creep up on me, but I swore I wouldn’t cry in front of Papa. Not now, not ever again. I would be strong for him like he’d always been for me.
The hospice nurse arrived, and I took that as my opportunity to leave for a few minutes. I wanted to grieve for my papa in private. Where no one would call me weak because I was a woman. Women are always weak in my world. Well, they’re called weak. Maybe not with words, but with silent comments that are only heard with pity. Screw that. I wasn’t going to be looked at with pity eyes. I was going to be respected. I was going to be feared. I’ve been through a lot, but things could get worse. They would only get worse. I knew that. I felt that.
***
Three more days had passed and still no word from Jax. Papa was getting weaker and weaker, he wasn’t opening his eyes or talking to me anymore. The nurses came and went, trying to keep him comfortable so that he could die with dignity.
Die…
My papa was going to die.
My big, strong Papa had been consumed with cancer. My nose began to tingle, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to hold the tears for much longer. But I would not cry in front of him. That I swore to myself. That I could control. That I knew for sure would go my way.
I ran out of the master suite and into the hallway, slamming against a rock hard chest. Tears were bursting, snot ran from my nose, I was hysterical, and I didn’t care that I was in the arms of someone. I knew in my heart who it was. I knew he was seeing me break down into the weak woman his kind pitied, but I didn’t care. I stopped caring in that moment. Nothing mattered. Cancer was about to take another of my parents, and I just didn’t care about anything any longer. I broke down in the hallway in the warm arms of the only man who made me angrier than I wanted to be. The only man who looked at me with eyes I couldn’t read. I wanted to read those eyes, I wanted to be lost in them. I wanted everything in those eyes. Dark dangerous eyes with no emotion.
I gasped for a breath when I felt the strong arms lift me up into a cradle position, holding me tighter than anyone had ever held me. I was broken. I was lost and scared, and I needed his strength. Lord knew I didn’t want it, but I needed it.
So I succumbed to the pity I knew he’d give. I became its prisoner. I’d welcome it, just once.
My body gently pressed onto the bed while I wept mindlessly, completely oblivious to anything around me. The tears poured from my eyes. My stomach tightened and pain shot through me. Snot ran down my nose. My heart raced in my chest, pounding away at the ribs that protected it. I was sure I’d never recover from the torment this was all causing.
Pure fucking torment.
An arm crossed my body pulling me into a heated chest. I was naked now. So was he. He’d removed my clothes without me even realizing it. I shifted so that I was flush with his chest as I cried. I gripped his arms and chest and hair and cried until I had no more tears left to give. He continued holding me tight against his chest while I grieved for my papa that lay down the hall fighting for his life. A life that would be taken away all too soon.
***
My eyes opened to the sound of voices in the hallway. The staff were talking just outside my bedroom door. Light shone in from a crack left in the doorway. I heard hushed voices and crying.
Papa!
I jumped from the bed I’d obviously fallen asleep in remembering who’d put me there. I was naked. I grabbed my cotton bathrobe sliding into it and swung the door open. Everyone gasped when they saw me.
“What?” I demanded. “What’s happened?”
“Bella?” Rosemarie, our senior housekeeper for twenty years, approached me from the side. I trusted her with my life. She squeezed me into a tight embrace. “What’s the matter?”
I looked into her eyes with confusion. I scanned her face but nothing seemed wrong. “Everyone was whispering, I thought. Is Papa…?” I couldn’t ask that question. The question that no child wanted to ask let alone wanted the answer to.
“No, Bella, he’s fine. Go see.” She hurried me off towards Papa’s room at the end of the large hallway.
My feet slowly headed into the direction I really didn’t want to go in. I wanted to run away. Far away. Pretend Papa was on business or with his Gumbas. Not this. Never this. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with air that smelled of cinnamon. Always cinnamon, Papa’s favorite.
Another few feet, and I’d be there. But Rosemarie said he was fine and I trusted her. She would never lie to me. I reached for the door handle, twisting the gold knob tightly into my palms. When the door clicked, Papa was there, standing in his favorite black suit, only the best for my Papa. His suits were hand stitched from Italy, only the best.
“Papa? You’re okay? You’re not sick?” I stared into his eyes. The room was so bright around us. He smiled back at me and lifted his hands cupping my cheeks.
“Princess, I love you so much. You were the best daughter I could’ve asked for. Always taking care of your papa.”
“I’m so glad you’re okay.” I gasped feeling the warm sensation of his hands on my face. I breathed him in. His spicy cologne that I loved so much.
“I’m better than okay. Now I’m free.” My eyes rose with question.
“But, why are you out of bed?” I looked around seeing that the nurses were gone. His bed was covered with the silk duvet for the first time since he was said to die there.
“I love you, Isabella. I will always love you.” His voice drew further away.
***
I think it was my heart that woke me. The sudden pounding. My eyes flew open. It was dark and quiet. I was alone and scared. I grabbed my bathrobe just as I had in my dream and draped it over my naked body, but this time, I ran to the door and then ran down the hall to Papa’s room.
Before I got the door open, I knew he was gone. Knowing that he’d said goodbye in my dream. Knowing that I was left alone. I saw his lifeless body before I ran to him. Jax grabbed me into his arms, but I fought him. I wanted to wrap myself in Papa’s arms. I wanted him to open his eyes and hug me, tell me that I was his beautiful princess. But he’d never do that again. He was gone, and I knew it. I knew that he left me. Momma left and now him.
“Bella, it’s okay. It’s all going to be okay.”
Tears exploded once more from my already tired eyes, but my cries were silent now. I could feel the pain on the inside, but everything on the outside was numb and non-existent.
Jax watched me with a careful expression, I had him worried. Big strong Jax, the boss of the Chicago outfit was worried for someone other than himself. He worried for me.
“When?” I asked, knowing it hadn’t been long.
“A few minutes before you came in.” His eyes were careful, his tone was gentle and soothing. “The nurse woke me up when your father opened his eyes.”
My eyes were as wide as they could be. “Why didn’t you wake me?” I asked with a shrill screech.
He shrugged. “I didn’t know what was going on and you were exhausted. I didn’t want to wake you before I knew there was a reason to.” His knuckles ran across my tear-stained face.
“What happened?”
“We spoke for a moment, right before.” He paused.
“And!” I demanded to know what’d happened, what he’d allowed me to miss during my father’s last moments.
“Bella…” He paused again, taking a deep breath. “He asked that I take care of you. He asked me to love and protect his princess. Then he took his last breath and just like that… he was gone.”
My mouth opened. My eyes widened. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. His deathbed request was for Jax to love me. To protect his princess. I was his very last word. Princess. The very last word he would ever speak. The last word anyone would ever hear him say.
The breath left my lungs. My chest felt tight, my heart pounded so quickly against my ribs I thought I was having a heart attack right there in front of Papa and Jax. A full blown heart attack. I couldn’t breathe. I gasped for air. I begged for it. My breaths were short and fast. Jax stood screaming for help. His voice echoed in my ears, but I couldn’t make out the words. Everything became blurred and just like that, darkness took over.
I’d let it win for now.