CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

—Bella—

Two weeks later…

 

My neck was stiff and my body felt like it had been twisted with a million tiny knots. I’d been sleeping in the chair next to Jax’s hospital bed. He’d been having difficult nights caused from his gunshot wounds. His lungs weren’t working the way they were supposed to be. The machines were beeping from his low oxygen; the nurse kept calling them alarms or something. Anyway, I hadn’t slept well in a while but that didn’t matter when it came right down to it. I was blessed I had my life and our baby who grew inside my belly. Jax on the other hand—well, I wasn’t sure what was going to happen.

Mrs. Moretti arrived every day at ten sharp. She’d walk in wearing all black carrying her large bag. She’d set it down and stare at me. Ugh… it drove me insane. I wanted to tell her that her son was going to be okay. I did every chance I got, but I knew she didn’t believe me. The look in her eyes was doubtful at best.

“Have you eaten?” she asked.

I shrugged into the chair my body sat numb inside of. I leaned forward sweeping Jax’s hand into mine. “I’ll eat something in a while.”

Mrs. Moretti took tiny steps towards the bed. Short dark hair with curls clung to her ears as she leaned over me. “Bella, the baby needs food. You must take care of yourself.”

My eyes pinned to Jax. I was upset that someone knew my secret and knew before Jax. I think that hurt more than anything. My heart beat fast in my chest waiting to see what else she would say. When she didn’t speak, I turned towards her. She held her hands in front of her stomach as she waited for me to speak.

“Bella, I’ve watched you sit here every day. You never leave this room, and I know you haven’t eaten very much in the last few weeks.”

“Emily and Alessandra bring food every day.” I felt myself fading from exhaustion and hunger. I knew she was right. “Will you call if something happens?”

“Of course,” she smiled.

I nodded then stood. “I’ll be back as quick as I can.”

“Take your time, Bella. I’ll take good care of him.” Her eyes fell to her son. She watched him with such devotion, and for a moment I felt that leaving him with his mother would be alright. She’d been right; I knew it, she knew it. I just didn’t want to leave the only family I had left in this whole world, alone.

I opened the hospital room door seeing Tony sitting in the chair across the hall. His eyes lifted to mine. His facial expression was one of surprise. Maybe it was because I hadn’t left this room the entire time Jax had been here. His hospital room was equipped with everything I needed, a chair for sleeping, a bathroom for showering, and my husband.

Tony stood as I closed the door behind me. “Where are you going? Is something wrong?” He hurried toward me.

I shook my head. “No, I’m being sent away… to eat.” I lifted my brows.

“You can’t go by yourself, Bella. Wait twenty minutes for Sal to get here, and I’ll go with you.”

I nodded again. “No, I’ll be fine. I’ll be there and back quick. Besides, I’m only going downstairs to the cafeteria.” I held my arm to my chest checking the time.

“You sure?”

“Yes, you can’t leave Jax. I’ll be fine.” I waved, looking over my shoulder as I walked away. Honestly, I was safer than anyone had known. Alessandra had gone through Jax and my closet to retrieve the gun I’d requested. A specific gun: my father’s Colt 45. I’d planned to use the very gun that sat safely tucked inside my bag for my revenge.

My eyes wandered along the walls of the long hallway, it was a cool shade of blue. I would surely never like the color blue again. I approached the elevator bank and lifted my finger to the down arrow. The doors opened a few seconds later with a tall man dressed in a T-shirt and jeans finished with a brown leather jacket. He stood against the back wall. I smiled a half smile, entered, and slid to the outer wall of the elevator, pressing the button of the floor that I’d needed.

“Nice day,” his deep, Russian accent didn’t go unnoticed.

A chill ran down my spine. I was scared for a moment. I’d heard this accent before. I lifted my eyes to the tall man. “It’s a shitty rainy day.”

“Indeed.” His large forehead squeezed at the wrinkles above his brow, and his eyes set into a glower.

I wasn’t here for pleasantries. If he was with the Russians I was looking for, he wouldn’t see the meek girl that once resided inside this body. He’d see the fierce woman I’d become. He’d see Bella Moretti, the woman he’d better fear.

The elevator doors opened to reveal the ground floor. I stepped out without another word. My pulse raced and my nerves went crazy with anxiety. I had to admit if only to myself that I’d wanted to kill that man simply because of his accent. What sort of person did that make me? I’d do it… shoot him, watch as his blood pooled around his casually dressed body.

I drew in a deep breath and shook my head attempting to escape the sickening thoughts. I attempted to think of something else, but they consumed me. Would it always be this way?

I gripped my bag tightly against my chest as I drew in a deep breath. I didn’t feel scared, not really. Knowing that I had a gun hidden away made me feel powerful.

Footsteps squished against the white tile floor from behind me, becoming louder as my own footsteps quickened. Paranoia perhaps. I had many great reason to be paranoid… I did.

“Bella,” a breathless voice spoke and hand pressed atop my shoulder. Prickles poked in cold sheets across my flesh. My hair stood on end at the nape of my neck, my long hair hiding any evidence of the chill that I’d gotten. I’d stilled my steps, slipped my hand inside of my bag gripping the cold black metal stock with my fingers with closed eyes. “Bella?”

My body shifted immediately recognizing the voice as Emily’s. My heart took another crashing bang against my chest. “Shit!” I nearly collapsed from the rush of adrenaline, but pulled a smile to my cold, tightened, pale cheeks and drew in a calculated breath. Smooth and deep—air rushed into my lungs filling me with calmness. Calm hadn’t been something I’d felt for a while. Even before the attempted murder of my husband, I hadn’t known calm. Not really. Not since the night Sam had taken me from the bar all those months ago.

“You look as if you’ve seen a ghost,” Emily gasped, her smile folding downward with concern.

A shuffled rustling echoed in the hallway, a giggle then footsteps followed. Several children rushed passed us. I froze watching the little children with bouncy hair and rosy strawberry cheeks laugh and chase each other.

“I’m so sorry,” a woman said from behind Emily. Her stomach was visible before she was. It was large and rounded from pregnancy. She wobbled past as she chased her anxious playful children.

“No problem.” Emily nudged me gently along the wall of the narrow hallway. “You okay?” She shook my shoulders lightly.

I nodded when I recognized the worry on her face. My brows furrowed as I camouflaged the undeniable frozen state I’d found myself in. My hand still gripped the stock of the gun. “I’m fine,” I muttered. My fingertips released from the cold metal and slipped from my bag. “You startled me, I’m fine.” Another camouflaged smile painted across my face.

All lies.

I supposed I’d been shaken because of the man in the elevator, or maybe it was the weakness that every woman held onto. Weak was just how the men in the familia saw us. That’s what they told us from the day we were born. The men would take care of us and make us what we were. So they said. I needed to get that backbone I always portrayed to have. Because the bullshit they spit at us, about being weak, was just that, bullshit. I sucked in the apprehension and exuded a shiny golden armor. My gaze roamed the hallway searching for the sign that would lead me to the cafeteria. “Come on.” I nodded in the direction we needed to go.

“I’m starving, but wouldn’t you rather have something else.” Emily’s face curled with disgust.

I shook my head as I lifted my foot into the direction I’d been headed previously. “No, I’m just gonna grab something and head back,” I told her. Without another look, we turned right and followed the hallway.

An open cafeteria presented itself as we entered, and a wraparound walkway showed off the different cuisines they offered.

“You doing okay?” she clung to my arm.

My eyes slid to hers offering a heartfelt smile. It was a lie. A dark, dark lie. “I’m as to be expected, I suppose,” I whispered while my eyes roamed the area. I was the only one to reach for a tray, mindlessly taking a salad wrapped with cellophane and a piece of cake as my meal. A little sugar wouldn’t hurt.

“Yeah, I’m surprised he hasn’t woken up though,” she said under her breath.

My eyes narrowed. I had been very up front and demanded that only positivity would be tolerated. Emily was about to cross that line with me. “Emily.”

“But I’m certain it will be any day,” she countered with a soft smile.

I slipped the attendant my debit card to pay for my food and exited to the walkway. I had intended to pay and get back upstairs in record time. I checked my watch seeing I was already behind.

“Let’s sit, Bella,” Emily insisted with the tug of my arm.

I quickly nodded. “No, no. I promised I’d come right back.”

“Seriously? It’s alright for you to be away. He’s going to be okay without you for a few minutes. It’s you that I’m worried about.” Her brows furrowed. “With everything that’s happened, we’ve barely spoken.”

“We talk every day.” I knew she was right, but I had things on my mind. Things I didn’t want her to know. She didn’t need to know, either. I didn’t want to put her in senseless danger.

“Five minutes,” she pleaded through her round caramel eyes.

My eyes sought the direction of the exit as I held a large red food tray.

“He’s fine. Five minutes with your best friend isn’t gonna hurt anything.” She tugged my arm.

I contemplated leaving, but in the end, I needed a few moments with Emily. She was the one person I trusted more than anything in this world besides Jax, and that was a welcomed reprieve at the moment. “Five minutes,” I challenged, my face serious.

“Deal.” She smiled.

We found a small table in the corner away from those that entered for lunchtime.

“Oh this looks good.” Emily dragged the cake-filled plate from my tray. I’d been looking forward to eating that carrot cake and had been craving it for a few days.

“Not sharing the goodies,” I laughed, shrugging when she seemed surprised. ‘Sorry not sorry.”

“I heard Tony talking to Sal when I got to the room.” She lowered her head as she whispered. I watched her, waiting for the gossip. “Give me a bite and I’ll tell.” her right brow lifted.

“Blackmail doesn’t suit you,” I disputed.

Emily’s face drew into a smile. “It does actually, but fine.”

I pushed the cake forward. She took her sweet time getting to the point before shoving a bite of white frosting between her pink-painted lips. My eyes pinned hers while she relished in the frosting.

“What?”

“Get to it,” I demanded.

“Geez, okay. I heard Tony talking about some guy…I didn’t catch the name but—” her brows raised and head tilted.

“What?” I asked anxiously.

“It sounded like they were planning revenge for something.” She shrugged and slipped another finger full of icing in her mouth.

“Not so loud,” I hushed her. “Do you think it was about Jax?”

“Not sure.” Her eyes wondered the area. “Probably was though, right?”

What else could it have been about? “Did you hear anything else?”

“No, Alessandra came up from behind and scared the shit out of me.” Emily’s hand went for the salad.

“Really?”

“What? I’m starving.”

“Ugh!” I shoved the salad at her.

I’d have a conversation with Tony and Sal when we were alone. I’d ask if there was anything new, and of course they will lie to me. No one took me seriously. I was a woman; why would they?

The standards women had to live up to were ridiculous and even then it wasn’t like someone would take them seriously. I felt like I’d been locked inside a box. I was frustrated and angry.

Emily and I shared the chef’s salad and finished the cake several minutes later. Once we were sated from hunger, we cleaned up our mess and began the journey back to Jax. I was getting more nervous by the minute having been away from him for so long, but it was nice to stretch my legs a while.