CHAPTER SIXTEEN

—Bella—

 

My eyes traced the dark circles that shadowed under my eyes. I’d not been sleeping well. Jax had been gone so much and even if I told myself that I didn’t want him around, it still seemed to unsettle me. My eyes fell distant in thought. What had been going on lately?

The mirror in my bathroom steamed, leaving it impossible to see the sad reflection that glowered back at me. I tapped the button on my phone for Spotify and stepped into the large porcelain tub. I tucked the earbuds into my ears and lay back listening to the sounds of Depraved by Mammals echo back at me. The water was hot and perfect. My toes roamed the edge in front of me as I let my mind to wander harmlessly with thoughts I’d usually stuffed into my secret drawer.

The water began to chill and the bubbles had all but gone away. I slid forward into a sitting position with my knees tucked against my chest sloshing water back and forth as I reached for the white loofah. I lathered my body then washed my hair and repeated with conditioner. I emptied the tub, rinsed with the shower wand, and reached my hand to the cold steel polished wall for the towel that clung folded into thirds on the shelf.

I dipped my wet foot out of the tub as I dripped onto the plush rug and then followed the other. My dark saturated hair clung to my shoulders and back while I extended my left leg onto the countertop and ran the towel crossing the dampness of my flesh. Goosebumps covered my damp skin from the coolness. I should have closed the door, that would’ve trapped the heat inside.

I continued to dry my body and when I finished I tossed the towel over the basket that sat along the wall’s edge. I reached my hands up pulling my hair from my shoulders and turned.

My mouth suspended widely. “What are you doing in here?” I hissed as I attempted to cover my body with my arms.

Jax leaned on the door I’d left open. He watched me with darkness shadowing his features. “We need to talk.” Only his lips moved before his tongue jutted out coating them.

“Okay? Can it wait until I’m dressed?” I shot, annoyed at the lack of respect for my privacy. I didn’t walk in his bedroom unannounced for fuck sake. “Don’t you knock?” I moved my feet backward and reached for the towel I’d tossed atop the basket.

“I did, you were in here and didn’t hear.” Yeah exactly.

I quickly wrapped the towel around my naked body leaving me exposed for a few seconds while unintentionally giving Jax a glimpse of my naked curves. “What do you need?”

“There have been a few threats from the Bratva,” he said while he roamed his eyes over my neckline.

I smacked my hands onto the granite counter top. “And?”

“And… You’ll be staying in until the risks have been eliminated.” He drawled out while still watching me, his eyes continued scanning my neckline as I wrapped my hair atop my head. He then followed the contours of my body taking notice of my arms and then my legs. The towel barely covered my bottom, so, of course, his eyes followed there as well. So typical. I shook my head.

“Jax, today is Tuesday.” The lunch meeting I had committed to was today. While trivial to him, it was important to me. It was a cancer fundraiser. I’d been asked to be one of the organizers. Megan Busto was a charity fundraising acquaintance of Margarete’s, she’d recommended I call her when I moved to Chicago. I hadn’t met anyone yet and thought it would be good for me to have someone to chat with I suppose. Megan was very receptive when I reached out and joined me for coffee several times. When the opportunity to assist her with organizing Chicago’s Cure for Cancer Gala I suddenly felt as though I had purpose.

“Tuesday? Yes, Tuesday comes after Monday and before Wednesday. I believe that’s how it’s been set up on the calendar.” He joked, but I wasn’t joking.

“Unbelievable, do you really not listen to anything I say? Do you honestly not care about anyone other than yourself, Jax Moretti?” His stance straightened and his eyes narrowed.

I began to back away from him as he stepped into the bathroom with me. His chest heaved, his jaw clenched, eyes dark, lines feathering around them. My body sank against the wall as his cologne overlapped my senses, his hot breath covered me, and his hands fenced me on either side.

Admitting that I wanted him to take me right there wasn’t an option. I would not be the first to give in, he would be and I’d see to it. I’d stand tall. However, I drew in a breath of nothing but his mind-blowing scent. Ahh. He was tormenting me, but did he know? Did he know what he did to me? What did I want from him? Did he know? How could he know? I was usually such a headstrong woman, so how was he able to affect me this way?

“Bella, you think that I don’t care? You think that the threats I receive every day don’t have me a mad man wondering if you’re dead or alive? I made a promise to your father that I would protect you.”

I hadn’t been expecting that response. He usually demanded I watch my mouth or ignored me, altogether. But today, here and now, he was showing if only a small piece of himself, how much he did care. And I believed him. My body sank along the wall, but I wouldn’t give in so easily to my own needs. I’d fight them like an idiot. His eyes scrutinized me, watched me as if every detail was etching into his brain, a brain I’d begun to know as brilliant. He was savvy and smart, always acted the way he was supposed to and never faltered from that. He was a great leader, just a lousy husband. I sighed at the thought. When he leaned away I wondered if he’d mistaken my sigh for boredom on his behalf.

His stance straightened bringing him to his full height as he stood perched above me. His arms drifted to his suit-clad flanks. His blue dress shirt neat with one square button released from its hole as it showed the tip of the tattoo I’d never been allowed to see. Jax was never disrobed when near me.

“What is the threat, Jax?” My arms covered my towel-clad chest. My foot kicked up onto the wall nervously feeling the heat of his stare.

“The Russians…” His hand swept through his dark mane while he turned toward the shower. “They have intentions of making good. I can’t risk…” His black eyes landed on me once more as his clenched hands found his sides.

“What? You can’t risk what… owning me, controlling every move that I make? Isn’t that why I have guards? God, Jax, I can’t live in a prison.”

“Is that what you think I’m doing?” His bite was sharp. “Controlling you? Treating you as though you’re a mere employee?” He laughed, intense and dark. My hands were clenched now. As strong as I was, he was stronger and I knew that. He affected me even when I didn’t want him to. I resented him for that control, but I also resented myself for letting him have it. I was silent. He waited for a response, but I wouldn’t give in. I wasn’t strong, I was stupid, an idiot. We were having a stare off. My jaw clenched, ready for the fallout. “No comment?” Silence. “Okay.” He shook his head, grinding his teeth. ““Dominic and Tommy will go with you. They’ll be close. Understood?”

“Yes.” I was grateful I would be allowed to go. His breath was hot against my cheek as he spoke. His body close, so close. The ache was back. I drew in one deep breath, two deep breaths, three… He leaned into my ear, inhaled deeply, then turned to walk out of the bathroom. “Jax?” He stilled but didn’t turn.

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

He continued through the bathroom, walked out, and clicked my bedroom door behind him without another word.

My heated lips took in two large mouthfuls of air and then padded into the bedroom. He was really affecting me. My resolve was walking a thin line; I wouldn’t last much longer.

***

“Bella, you have one hour. Make it quick,” Dominic insisted as he held the large metal face of his watch.

“Seriously? He said I could go; he didn’t say I had a time limit.” I turned towards the door where Dominic had slipped out.

“Next time have the lunch at the penthouse.” Tommy chimed in.

“But then what excuse would you two have to grumble at me?” I offered a smile. They were only doing their job.

“I do prefer having an excuse to bitch at you.” Dominic winked. I smiled again. He was growing on me.

Two dark suits, Dominic Ferraro to my right and Tommy Orlando to my left, ushered me into the limo that was parked inside the garage. The threat was real. Dominic covered my head as I entered. What was this threat about? And if it affected me why wouldn’t someone tell me?

We arrived at the restaurant’s front entrance. The sun’s light shone brightly as I set my dark round sunglasses on my face, adjusting them.

“Ciao, Bella,” Carlos muttered through the partition. At least the staff had been nice to me. That reminded me… I needed to call Tony after I was finished. I wasn’t allowed to see them, but I’d called him a few times and was never reprimanded, so I assumed it was allowed and fuck if it wasn’t. He was my family.

“Ciao.” I smiled kindly as I leaned down gazing through the small hole.

Dominic held his hand slack at my back while he waited for me to cross the threshold of the restaurant. The Italian Bistro was small and sat centrally located to everything in the city including the L-train. I still wasn’t used to that loud obnoxious thing. The restaurant’s glass front vibrated as it passed, shaking me up a bit.

“There she is.” Megan stood to greet me.

I approached with a smile held at my lips. I was excited to be out of the penthouse and able to spend time with someone other than my guards. I really liked Megan and I’d hoped that she and I would become good friends.

I folded myself into the chair that Dominic had pulled out for me with at the table she’d already procured for us. The small round table was filled with lists and samples for the cancer gala we were planning. Our table sat near the window and when the guys didn’t seem concerned by that, I simply sat without hesitation. Jax had mentioned many times not to sit near a window where I could be seen from the street, matter-of-fact he’d insisted on it, but today I wouldn’t worry about that. I was here for a good cause, so I’d focus on that instead.

“Wow, you look fabulous.” Her smile was gleeful as we both learned over the table for a quick hug.

“Thank you,”

“Did you think about any sort of theme that you’d want to explore?” she asked over her oval designer frames. I had thought of a lot of things since I’d met her, and while I was excited for this gala I hadn’t been able to focus too much on it.

“I have a few ideas,” I lied.

I drummed my fingers along the edge of the table as she regarded the pieces of paper that lay in front of her. We chatted for thirty minutes about themes, food, attire, how the auction would work, what we would auction, and so on. This was going to be the largest thing I’d ever been responsible for. The fact that it was so close to my heart made it all the more amazing.

Megan received a phone call and departed shortly after our lunch began. She left me the task of choosing the proper invitation and had left me with all of the ideas she’d put together. It was a minor detail, but I wanted to get it right, make it perfect. I nibbled on my bread while I sat at the table reviewing the ideas. There were so many: bows, ribbon, butterflies flying out as you opened the small boxed invitation. There were tons to choose from. How would I decide on the right one? I’d ask Alessandra to help, she was great at that sort of thing I imagined.

Tommy tapped on his watch signaling it was time to go when my phone beeped from inside of my bag that hung over my chair. I twisted easily in my chair, retrieved my peach bag, and then my phone.

“Hello?” I answered having already seen it was Megan who called.

“Hey, would you mind checking the table to see if I dropped my glasses?” She asked hesitantly.

My eyes did a quick scan of the area but I didn’t see her glasses. “I don’t see them,” I responded.

“Would you mind looking under the table I can’t seem to find them anywhere and I’m blind as a bat.”

“No problem.” I stood from my seat and stepped back away from the table in hopes I could find them for her. I only found a lonely napkin that had fallen, but nothing else caught my eye.

A loud bang rang through my ears and then silence. The restaurant was quiet; however, the patrons ran and dove onto the floor in slow motion. The slow movements trapped me. My ears rang, but I couldn’t hear their screams or the cries. Their faces were covered with terror. Tommy’s face shifted into a panicked stare. He watched me. His lips moved. But I couldn’t hear him. Arms moved quickly from in front of me where he stood, and then I was pulled from behind landing against Dominic’s chest as he held me on the floor. It appeared as though he was swimming, his arms moved freely in the air. My gaze never left his panicked stare that sent fear washing over me. The table flew several feet as he’d shoved it quickly away landing his body on top of mine. He was sheltering, protecting me with his own. He was prepared to die for me. Sounds began to recoil through my ears allowing me to hear once more. “How bad?” Tommy asked, his voice rang, however, mumbled. He’d been talking to Dominic.

Tommy shifted the table in between our bodies and the unknown shooter. They’d come for me. Jax had said that they’d made threats and… he hadn’t been lying. My white dress held a large red smear of blood on my left side just under my breast. Had I been shot? A woozy sick feeling crossed my conscious.

“Stay strong, Bella, don’t give up!” Dominic jerked my body when I leaned back and closed my eyes, if only for a moment.

“Bella, do not give up on us, do you understand me?” Tommy kneeled in front of me. Dominic’s face remained hidden behind me. They’d been silently discussing something. I was used to the silent discussions between men in the familia.

Was I going to die?

Did they know something I didn’t?

I knew they’d protect me with their lives.

A tear swept mindlessly down my cheek. They’d die for me. Give their own lives for mine. They’d die with honor. Growing up in the familia I’d heard about honor and all that, but until I saw it for myself, I really had no idea what it all meant. It meant that we were family, if not for familial, but rather kinship, a code, an invisible rope that bound us together. They were my family and not because they were in the familia, but rather because they’d chosen my life over their own.

Screams echoed jolting me awake. I passed out. Shots fired. The glass on the window shattered from an explosion just after Tommy covered my entire body once more with his own. More screams echoed.

“Over here!” Dominic screamed.

The room spun circles around me, my body remained protected by Dominic and Tommy’s. Tommy wasn’t moving. Panic entered my gut. Suit-clad legs quickly came into focus pulling his body from mine. I tried to talk—to say his name, but I couldn’t say a word.

Faces swirled into focus. Dark hair, accents, no accents, cursing, screaming, smashing; there were so many sounds that I wasn’t able to decipher each one.

My hair swept away from my face with a soft stroke; soft and sweet. I was given the one second I needed to close my eyes. Momma stroked my hair when I was a little girl every night as she tucked me into my bed. I relished in that memory as the sounds faded and the only face I saw was my mothers.